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Today David called me a pathetic shrimp. I don't even know what that but I cried for 4 hours. No, I'm totally kidding. I don't care if you call me best looking or not. I know you have a boner for me. Oh, that's what it was. I said that you had a boner for me…
Yeah.
This was all off camera, by the way. And you're like, fuck you. You're like the 7th person I'd fuck in a friend group. Yeah. And I was like, are you serious? You take that back, you dirty bitch. You take that back and you fuck me right now. No, but, um, yeah,…
Not too hard.
Don't slap them too hard.
It's a—
but enough to make them cry and wonder if you guys are actually friends.