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Handcuffing Myself to My Ex-Wife
He just tells me my parents are dead. All the shit you say to me. What did you say to me today? I can't even write it down. I should— I'm gonna start writing them down.
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Yeah, right.
Yeah, they're dead. They're dead. Way to bring it up. Listen to the listeners. Look how cruel he is.
Thank you for admitting.
He just tells me my parents are dead. All the shit you say to me. What did you say to me today? I can't even write it down. I should— I'm gonna start writing them down.
Today David called me a pathetic shrimp. I don't even know what that but I cried for 4 hours. No, I'm totally kidding. I don't care if you call me best looking or not. I know you have a boner for me. Oh, that's what it was. I said that you had a boner for me…
Yeah.
This was all off camera, by the way. And you're like, fuck you. You're like the 7th person I'd fuck in a friend group. Yeah. And I was like, are you serious? You take that back, you dirty bitch. You take that back and you fuck me right now. No, but, um, yeah,…