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Handcuffing Myself to My Ex-Wife
Did you ever go up to her and talk to her?
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She started crying. Whoa. And she ran off to the bathroom and everyone like followed her and she started crying. Yeah, yeah. And then it just, it just fucking went awful.
Holy shit. What did you, what did you do when she started crying? Did she start crying right in front of you?
Yeah, right in front of me, front row. And then I was like, I would have— in a normal stand-up set you could just leave, you know, like you have a bad set, you're like, oh fuck it. But I had to stay and cut the cake, so I sat there all night and they They jus…
Did you ever go up to her and talk to her?
No, because I didn't think to.
You were scared that she was gonna eat your pens?
Yeah, and the mom didn't watch the roast, so she came up to me after and she was like, "Cool, cool, stick around and cut the cake." Oh, she had no idea that it was awful. But then eventually she'd heard about it and just kicked me out. Did you get laid? Yeah,…