Going On His First Date

I had a girl tell me the other night that she wanted me to dress up as Dr. Phil and have sex with me.

Really?

And I thought about it, like I really considered it because I hadn't had sex in so long. And I really thought about it, and I was in my bed and I was like—

I was in my bed and I was imagining, I was like, 'Oh yeah.' And then I was like, 'I can't do that.' You're in your bed and you're just—

you look inside your closet and there's just one lights shining on the Dr. Phil outfit, and you're just like, should I get it in? Should I get it in that outfit? Just like a superhero being called back to work.

She wanted to call you Daddy, I guess.