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Giving My Student a Massage
The popular kids loved Malibu because it doesn't taste like alcohol, you know, it's like easy to drink. So it's like, oh, I don't think people drink it anymore.
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She was, like, insane, like she wanted you to do things?
No, no, no. My mom's childhood was so fucking batshit crazy that, like, she just assumed that I was gonna be doing like fucking whatever drugs and shit in Vernon Hills. And I wasn't like— that wasn't a thing at all. We would like sometimes we'd sneak, you kno…
Oh, you all love Malibu.
The popular kids loved Malibu because it doesn't taste like alcohol, you know, it's like easy to drink. So it's like, oh, I don't think people drink it anymore.
Oh my God, that is such like a fucking core memory that I was never a part of. I always thought I was. That Malibu was actually probably the first alcohol I tasted too. That, dude, that's what I loved about Vernon Hills is like, shit, they're like, you feel l…
We all got it from the same person too.
Like I always used to say, like, I didn't smoke a lot in high school. I maybe smoked like 3 or 4 times, like my entire—