Giving My Penis To Science

So Joe told me, Joe's like, don't eat it, don't eat it. He's like, I know how much you love Chipotle. So I'm like, I'm not gonna eat it, are you crazy, are you fucking crazy? And then 3 AM comes around and I wake up from my sleep and I'm fucking starving and I go into the kitchen and all they have is like Snickers and Pringles in the fridge at the hotel.. And then there's one light on in the living room and it's right over the dinner table and it's shining on the bag of Chipotle. Sorry. I'll show this, but everywhere. Sorry. So I'm like, okay. So I'm like, either God wants me to be poisoned or I just have to eat this. So I, so I opened the bag and I squeezed the burrito to make sure it doesn't have any razor blades in it first. And there wasn't anything in it. So I ate it. I ate the entire fucking thing. And then I sat there for like 30 seconds. Like I just sat there, like I was waiting for an earthquake. I was like, I was waiting for my body to shut down. 'cause I was like, oh my God, I wonder when the poison is gonna kick in. And nothing happened after 30 seconds, so I'm like, okay, like if you're gonna get poisoned, it's probably gonna happen right away, right? Sure.