Giving My Nanny a $20,000 Christmas Bonus

A lot of the kids are I'm like, no, I don't like Instagram. Oh, weird. They're also jazz kids, so that's a whole other breed. And so, uh, so then, uh, I go, well, if anyone's on— I'm like, in the mic— if anyone's on Instagram, I'm gonna give an Instagram shout out. Again, just silence. Like, no one's ever heard of fucking Instagram, you know? Like, I'm the alien. So I'm like, whatever. Wow. So then, then I go out and I'm selling raffle tickets, and I'm like trying to be charming about it. I'm like, who's feeling lucky? Just people ignoring me. And then they go, go down now. Everyone's in the auditorium now. They're like, go down to the auditorium and try to sell more. We need to break like $100. And I'm like, okay, okay, okay. I'm trying really hard. So I go down the auditorium. They're like, you only have 4 minutes till the show starts. Try to sell like 10 or 20. And I'm like, okay, okay. And I go down there and I walk down there. Before I can open my mouth, this crazy parent goes, he goes, you, you, 'Excuse me, excuse me, come here, I need to talk to you.' And I— this is what I said, I go, 'What's wrong? What's wrong?' Like that, like I thought I did something wrong, you know. And he goes, he goes, 'This woman in front of me took my seat. She took my seat, and I want you to call security.' And I go, I go, 'Oh, I don't know, I'm just selling raffle tickets.' He goes, 'I don't care what you're doing, call security. Call security right now.' And then I look and it's 4 women and they're obviously— they're women couples. There are 4 women that are all married, you know, 2 couples. Yes. And he's this guy, you know, and he's like, she's harassing my wife and I. And the woman goes, no, I'm not. I am not harassing him. Just let it go. Just let it go. And I go, yeah. I go, why don't we just let it go? I go, why don't we let it go? He goes, no, I'm not letting it go. I go, I go, I go, it's the holidays. Like that, like that means anything. And, uh, and I go, well, I go, I'm not calling security. And then he goes, he goes, okay, what's your name? And I go, Jason Nash. Like that. And he goes, okay, I'm gonna have security talk to you too. Like that. And I'm like, now I'm in trouble. Then the lights go down. So I didn't have any time to sell tickets. Yeah. So then the lights go down, I'm standing there with these red tickets, and I come back up and the moms, who are all very nice, are like, what happened? Like, you're just telling me? And I was like, no, I got into a thing. And they're like, okay, that's fine, don't worry about it.