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Oh my God.
It wouldn't be Christmas without a story about masturbating. Guys, buckle down. Get your family around. Turn the fire on. It's time to talk about jerking off. All right, roll the intro music.
Jack fucking woke me up at 7:30 today.
Jack Reed?
Yeah.
What did he say?
So have you ever been on East Coast time and you forget that you're calling the West Coast?