DMing My Celebrity Crush

Um, because I Ubered here today and I got into my Uber and I think she like shit herself before I got into the car. Because I got in, I was like loading myself into the car and she kind of like side-eyed me from the driver's seat, like, like a little guilty, like side-eye. Like she thought you pooped? No, I think she knew what she did and I got into the car right after she released something that was just like a noxious gas. And she kept looking at me in the rearview mirror and I was like, yeah bitch, I know what you just did. And it's fucking stinky. She had her window down. She was like trying to air it out, but it was fucking brutal. And I just— and then I don't know if she did it again when I was leaving, because when I got here, maybe she was an alien and that's how she says hello.