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David Wins a Kid's Choice Award

You know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of when I was at the bar. I said this on the podcast a couple of months ago. I was at a bar And, um, and it's my first time ordering a drink. I was like, fuck it, I'll have a drink. I'm talking to the— I'm talking to the bartender and he goes, uh, he goes, what do you want? And I'm like, I'm new here, just give me something that'll fuck up a baby. Like, that'll— enough alcohol to fuck up a baby because like I'm a lightweight, so I want like a little bit of alcohol. Yes, but like I want it to be fruity. And he looks at me and he goes, whoa, that is not funny whatsoever. And, and I, I just fucking froze. Like, okay, my joke was bad. It was off-color. Like, I shouldn't have said it. I made a mistake. Yeah, but you just ruined my entire fucking night. Yeah, you know what I mean?

March 29, 201924:02David
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Jason23:24
Fucking kid. Take the car in and the guy goes, oh, I couldn't fix it yourself, you fucking idiot. I mean, like, it's the same thing. It's like, don't make people— today it is waiter. I just can't believe that you're not fucking siding with me. You know, you k…
David23:40
But okay, if, if First of all, if someone said that to me that works at a mechanic shop, I'd fucking laugh. That's hysterical. And second of all, if it wasn't funny, I wouldn't be like, hey dude, that was fucking rude. Like, I wouldn't do that.
Jason23:54
I didn't say that. No, I just let it go. I just wrote it down on my notes because I thought you'd be on my side. I thought we could get a little Larry David, Seinfeld.
David24:02
You know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of when I was at the bar. I said this on the podcast a couple of months ago. I was at a bar And, um, and it's my first time ordering a drink. I was like, fuck it, I'll have a drink. I'm talking to the— I'm talking to the bartender and he goes, uh, he goes, what do you want? And I'm like, I'm new here, just give me something that'll fuck up a baby.…
Jason24:44
Exactly. That's what I'm saying.
David24:46
No, no, no, no, the bartender ruined my night.
Jason24:48
Yeah, exactly. He's a dipshit just like this fucking waiter. Just like you.