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David Searches For His Manhood

I went to church once and I was the only Jewish kid in my town, and they're like, come to church. We were all hanging out, having the best time, and they're like, Oh fuck, we gotta go to church, we gotta go to church. And I was like, ugh. And I was like, they're like, just come, just come. And I was like, no, no, no, I don't wanna. And they're like, come, come, come, it'll be fine, it'll be fine. And I'm like in church, I'm like sitting there and I'm like, I don't know any of this shit. And then they're like, okay, we're going up for communion. And then I'm like, I don't know what to do. And I went up to get communion, they put it in my mouth. Yeah. And then afterwards the guy was like, he pulled me aside and he was like, are you Christian? And I was like, no, I'm Jewish. And he was like, you should not take this communion. Really? And I got in a lot of trouble.

October 24, 202525:20Jason
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David25:03
No, like Superman. Like Superman. Like, literally all I thought about—
Jason25:06
taking the bullets bouncing off your chest. Yes.
David25:08
Oh, hell yeah. And then like— and then I'm just like, I'm just like, yeah, no, it's no worries, guys, let's just keep this a secret. That's all I thought about every time in church.
Jason25:20
I went to church once and I was the only Jewish kid in my town, and they're like, come to church. We were all hanging out, having the best time, and they're like, Oh fuck, we gotta go to church, we gotta go to church. And I was like, ugh. And I was like, they're like, just come, just come. And I was like, no, no, no, I don't wanna. And they're like, come, come, come, it'll be fine, it'll be fine.…
Natalie25:55
Oh my gosh, that is the worst.
Jason25:57
I was like, it's just a cracker, bro. Okay.
Natalie26:01
No, not being able to take communion is like the most embarrassing thing in church.