David's Sex Story

No, no, I was really young. I was like, fuck, I don't know, first grade? I don't know. And I was like, I wanna have kids one day. And this girl that was sitting in front of me, she never talks to me, she just turns around and she goes, you wanna have kids? You know you have to have sex for that. And I go, what? Shut up. And she goes, yeah, you have to have sex. And I like turn to my friend and I'm like, what is she talking about? What is she saying? And he goes, I don't know. I don't fucking know. What is she saying? I don't know. What is she saying? We have to have sex? That makes no sense. You just want a kid. Have a kid. And she's like, you have to have sex. Ask your parents. And I'm like, fuck you. Fuck you. You don't know anything. So I fucking sprinted home. My friend was getting off the bus with me, but I'm like, fuck you, friend. And I just ran ahead. I ran to my house, and I ran up the apartment. I didn't even take the elevator. Oh, we didn't have an elevator. That's why I didn't take it. I ran up the stairs. I ran up the stairs and I blasted the door open and my grandma's on the computer and my mom is leaning over the shoulder of my grandma and they both turn to me, both their heads turn to me and I go, "Do you have to have sex to have babies?" And they both just start fucking cracking up. And I'm like, "Oh my God, you have to have sex to have babies." And that's how I learned, just because they started laughing and I was like, "That's insane." And I remember this to this day, like I know what my grandma was wearing, like it was like It was like the best memory I have is when I found out you have to have sex to make babies.