David's Looking for a New Co-Host

It's just interesting. And, um, we were leaving party, we decided to go. And I turned my flashlight on because I'm trying to walk out of there and there's these cobblestones on the ground and Big Nick is with me and he's a dwarf. So I didn't want him to trip. 'Cause the cobblestones were high and low and whatever. Good for you, David. Thank you. And this girl's acting up in the corner and she's yelling at people. And I shine my flashlight at her for a couple seconds and she goes, Don't you fucking shine that flashlight in my fucking face. And I go, I didn't even know she was talking to me because it was like from pretty far away. I'm like, she's probably not talking to me. And then she runs over to me and I shit you not, her eyes are like completely blacked out, just so dark. And she's like, her mouth is like watering. It's like her lips are all wet. Like there's like saliva coming out of her mouth. Like it almost looks like she's foaming at the mouth. And she comes over and she socks me right in the fucking mouth, like punches me square in the mouth. And I'm like, I can't believe this is happening.