DAVID'S FIRST TIME AT A STRIP CLUB

But is that, is that a true thing that like, yeah, rapists and pedophiles— really true. I'm trying to think if I ever did anything illegal. My friend would always steal cigarettes.

Yeah, it was a smoker. He would.

Oh, okay. I have done something illegal. What? My, um, my friend was a manager at OfficeMax. And, and he used to close up like right— he used to close up the shop. Yeah, like he would— there's no one there, it was like 10:00 PM, and we would just sit on— we j…

Yeah, he's great with staples, and they promoted him. Little do they know that was a mistake, cuz, um, cuz we ate all the fucking Starburst. Huh.

So what made him feel so entitled to do that? Who's that?

There's someone on my roof. Who is that? Hello? Are you doing a bit? No.