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David's First Sloppy Kiss
No, no, I think you're gay because you jack off to me.
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Well, I know if I waited until I was 17 to have my first kiss, it would have bothered me.
My first kiss was when I was 16 or 17. Okay, I thought it was 17. I was also protected by this amazing thing in high school where people thought I was gay. Really? Yes, because— Is that why you fucking say I'm gay all the time?
Because that's why. That's why. That explains it. That explains why you always point the gay finger at me, because your entire childhood people thought you were gay and you're fucking trying to get back at someone.
No, no, I think you're gay because you jack off to me.
You are the worst.
You know what?
I see right through you. Everybody, all the listeners at home, everything that David does, all the shit that he does for Steve—