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David's First Sloppy Kiss
Not that you're a pussy or anything, but did it bother you that you were a—
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I haven't had it yet. How about you? What was your first kiss like?
My first kiss, I think I got it a little later. I think I was like 17.
Did that bother you at all? Not that it's a big deal, but did you carry it around?
Not that you're a pussy or anything, but did it bother you that you were a—
Well, I know if I waited until I was 17 to have my first kiss, it would have bothered me.
My first kiss was when I was 16 or 17. Okay, I thought it was 17. I was also protected by this amazing thing in high school where people thought I was gay. Really? Yes, because— Is that why you fucking say I'm gay all the time?
Because that's why. That's why. That explains it. That explains why you always point the gay finger at me, because your entire childhood people thought you were gay and you're fucking trying to get back at someone.