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David's First Girlfriend

Just so people know.

March 8, 20185:26Jason
5:26/0:00
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David5:06
She asked me because all her friends had people, and I think her parents and my parents felt bad that I never went to a dance, so they did it as a favor, and it was fucking so uncomfortable. Really? I never had any attraction to Natalie like that ever, and we…
Jason5:25
This is your assistant now?
David5:26
Yeah, yeah.
Jason5:26
Just so people know.
David5:27
Yeah, I didn't even— yeah, this is my assistant now and I didn't even like hug her or anything because I was just like, this is so fucking weird. Like, why are we doing this?
Jason5:33
Can you do the moment where she asked you like, where were you? Were you at your locker? Were you at lunch?
David5:37
I was, I was here. I was in my cul-de-sac in the neighborhood and she like tied her dog like up to like a tree and she's like, I can't find my dog. And the second she said that, I'm like, son of a fucking bitch. I know if I find this dog, I'm gonna be asked t…