David Looks Up His Crush

I want to hand out mints or like Tootsie Rolls or something. I think that'd be fun.

Try the meat with John Castro. See if he'll take it.

John would work extra hard if I had beef jerky in my pocket. But you know what? I actually don't think these Napoleon facts are real.

Because the next one says Napoleon famously wore his hat sideways so he could stash a big baguette in the fold.

All right, sounds like a hungry guy anymore. Nothing's real. I know, damn it, nothing's real. I mean, Jake Paul's not real.

No, Jake Paul's actually gay. I actually, you know what, I don't— I mean, who knows, maybe Napoleon was like really vibey like this. No, oh, Bonaparte, there we go. At least we, at least we figured out the last name.