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Caught Him Flirting With My Mom
You go— I go— you go, Liza thinks there's someone at her place, that's why I left. I wrote, what? Fuck. Is she okay? You wrote, she's scared. I'm on FaceTime with her now trying to get over there with Hollywood Bowl. I wrote, you want me to go the other way, which means I'm gonna take Laurel Canyon. If you want, I may have it. Still at the bowl, I don't know how much longer. On FaceTime, can't hear. That was my voice text. I say, call the police. David writes, should she? This is all the information you've given me so far. Like, I have no fucking idea if the guy's got an axe or what. And of course, in the back of my mind, I'm like, they're all— they're both two kids and there's no one there and everything's fine. Yeah, I'm like 99%.
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I'm driving, I get stuck in traffic. I call Jason, I'm like, Jason, you want to go the other way so you can get there before me? And Jason's like, sure thing, I'll go. I get there and then Jason gets there like 2 minutes later. And I'm like, Jason, hang aroun…
I just felt weird, like, I felt like in that instance, like, you came to her rescue, so then why— I felt weird that I was there, that was like sort of your time to shine.
Well, you were there 'cause you were hitting on her. I'm kidding, Jason wasn't hitting on her. You said the dumbest thing. What did I say?
You go— I go— you go, Liza thinks there's someone at her place, that's why I left. I wrote, what? Fuck. Is she okay? You wrote, she's scared. I'm on FaceTime with her now trying to get over there with Hollywood Bowl. I wrote, you want me to go the other way, which means I'm gonna take Laurel Canyon. If you want, I may have it. Still at the bowl, I don't know how much longer. On FaceTime, can't he…
She was scared because on the news there was a burglar running around. Around. Sure. And there's a helicopter above our house looking for this burglar.
Sure. And I've—
well, then that—