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Caught Him Flirting With My Mom
can you— can I just do this? I just get shit on. Liza, Liza thought she had a ghost in her house, so I went to go check it out. I drove there.
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You left here from the meeting, you called, you texted me, you sent me a dumbass text which was, I had to go, there's an intruder in Liza's house. Yeah, I wrote back, fuck, what? I'll read you the text.
No, I'm kidding. Okay, I'm kidding. I don't want you to read the text because I don't care. But I do. Okay, read the text. Jason, let me tell you what happened. I would tell me. I was stuck in traffic because I was gonna— Liza's house, because she was scared.…
I don't know why I try to help you. Can you please be quiet? I don't know why I try to be your friend. Can I just—
can you— can I just do this? I just get shit on. Liza, Liza thought she had a ghost in her house, so I went to go check it out. I drove there.
Ghost or an intruder?
It was a ghost. Oh, she's— so she turned out to be a ghost. Yeah, so it was like 25 minutes away.
I love how we say it like ghosts exist, go. It was like 25 minutes away.