Moment View
An Honest Interview With a Criminal
You haven't had a meal David fucking does this thing where if people want to go to eat, he's like, okay, order me the chicken salad. And then he'll like try to roll in right when like the food is coming, and then he'll leave cash on the table and leave. You haven't looked at a bill in fucking 2 years.
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Yeah, then you'll get a nod.
Fuck that, that's too much.
No, I've never actually— I actually haven't had a waiter where I was like, holy fuck, this person deserves a lot more than a regular tip.
You haven't had a meal David fucking does this thing where if people want to go to eat, he's like, okay, order me the chicken salad. And then he'll like try to roll in right when like the food is coming, and then he'll leave cash on the table and leave. You haven't looked at a bill in fucking 2 years.
Yeah, I like doing this thing where like my friends are going out to dinner, I'll tell them what I want, and then I'll get there, and then, and then I'll get there right when the food gets there. I don't know how I do it, but I'm so magical at timing that. An…
It's pretty fucking easy to do.
And then I'll leave. It's so easy. And then I'll leave before— I'll leave before the bill gets there, and I'll just put cash I'm usually pretty good about putting like a lot more money. Like last time I ordered chicken teriyaki and I put $100 down when I left.