Accidentally Naked in Front of My Kids

I can still take a chip and run it along your pants. And have the biggest dip in my life. That's still considered chunky salsa because there's so much on there.

That's not my main problem. I need some Secret for my feet.

I don't— you need a lot more than fucking antiperspirant for your feet.

You need a saw to cut those things off, bro. They will never stop smelling. Jesus, look at your nails.

I had these little socks.

You get through airport security with those nails?