What Women Want

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. Alex is scaring me. Alex Ernst is here.

I'm not scaring you.

Well, he's saying I can talk about anything I want.

Anything I want? Yeah, I just want to say, David, 70 calories in those Waver snack chips.

Good.

That's great. That's a great move. That's a good move.

Wait, come on.

No, seriously, that's a good move.

Oh, that's what you're going to talk about? I thought you were going to talk about something like you're going to like shit talk me or something.

No, you can obviously edit that out.

No, thank you. Why is that a great move?

Because I'm on a diet, you know, so I'm like looking for low-calorie snack options.

Wow, and that's perfect. This was even planned. Yeah, look at this, the first time Alex Ernst is on the pod and he's literally paying me compliments. It's amazing.

It's incredible.

70-calorie snack, you know, it's a great—

Has it been hard for you to keep your diet up?

I mean, I get a little irritable.

Wait, Alex is the next Zealot Transformation. When are you done?

I don't know. Ilya keeps changing the day on me, so I don't know.

Wait, why is that? Because you're eating too many wafers.

No, I'm not. I've only had them once, David.

Okay, so when?

But there's 70 calories.

He's like, I carried away. I don't love them that much.

Where do you pick up the 70 calorie bags?

I think those are just for the house.

Oh, you're not selling those?

We may in like packs.

You have to sell those.

I don't know where we sell which ones. We sell them different ones in different places.

Well, I was going to actually tell you a long time ago you should do like 100 calorie bags, but you got a 70 calorie bag?

Okay, can we stop talking about the product?

I had found them at Jewel the other day.

They are at Jewel. Yeah.

At where?

They're in Jewel.

Is that in Chicago?

We're officially nationwide, Jay.

No, you're kidding.

You don't have Jewel in Minnesota?

No, you definitely have Jewel. You have Albertsons?

No.

Is Jewel like Albertsons?

Yeah, they're under the same family.

Got it.

Cub Foods. We're in Australia now.

Incredible.

Next year it's going to be a worldwide takeover, Jason. Just get ready. Wherever you're going to go.

Jupiter?

Jupiter.

Mars?

Galaxy.

Everywhere.

Wait, Al, so when are you going to Cub Foods? When are you done with your Zeal transformation?

Well, I don't know. He keeps telling me different times. What was it like your last few weeks?

Were you irritable?

Brutal.

I was— I mean, I was furious after.

After?

Oh, is it because you're like— now you're at— how many calories are you at a day?

Uh, 23, but I can eat 24, and I always eat 24.

Okay, so I was at 2,200 calories.

Yeah.

And that's when I wanted to punch like things through a wall. Okay, what were you like, your little But like, you're irritable because you're just like, you're not eating enough and you're just like cranky, right?

Well, I can eat a lot, but sometimes I want to eat other things.

So why don't you just spend more time on the treadmill and then eat more?

I don't have a treadmill. I have to come here. I have to go to the gym.

Well, that's what I mean. Why don't you just spend more time here on the treadmill?

I could.

Yeah.

So I could eat a bag of chips, but then I'm, you know, I'd rather just not eat a bag of chips and go on the treadmill.

Well, when do you think you're going to be done by? January?

No, hopefully before that.

Oh, okay, so you're good. Yeah, because I think the goal is to do like the same thing we did with my video, is like a January reveal. Are you, are you in the best shape of your life currently or not yet?

I don't know.

No, maybe. I don't know, because you're in really good—

I'm in pretty good shape.

You seem not bothered by the whole thing at all.

No, I'm good. I'm good most days. I'm good. Just last night I was feening a little bit.

What were you thinking about?

I wasn't— I was just wanting some snacks. I was eating Tic Tacs and stuff.

You know, Tic Tacs aren't actually zero calories, right?

Well, it said zero calories. One and a half. I know they're like 3. Yeah, but it said zero on the thing. So I'm like, I'm not counting it.

Even if you had the whole bag?

I didn't eat the whole thing.

Okay. Because that's probably like 100 calories.

Yeah, I saw that.

Alex actually gets like the highest praise from Ilya. Really? Out of everyone that's done it.

Really?

Yeah. Especially when they first started. Alex was like out the gate crushing it.

Really?

He doesn't complain?

And he's gonna be done pretty quick. I don't know. I feel like he's doing a pretty good job at it. When we lived at the apartment, you know, Alex is my Vine buddy, right? From the Vine days.

Happy Thanksgiving, by the way.

Oh, happy Thanksgiving to you.

Okay, Fred.

You too, happy Thanksgiving.

Oh, thank you.

How did we meet?

We met on Vine.

Who slid into whose DMs?

I slid into yours.

What'd you say? Amen.

What did I say? I like your vines. Let's move to LA. That's what I said. He's like, I'm down.

Wait, is that what happened? Like right away?

Something like that.

Wow. And then we visited. Really cool. What, around Halloween, right?

Yeah, it was around Halloween we visited.

And I just remember the Ubers being so expensive.

You flew out?

I flew out. He flew out from Minnesota.

Okay. And how old were you?

7? 18?

18.

18? Wow.

17, 18.

No, no, either 17 or 18.

No, we were 18. It was like October 18th.

And then how many months— this is how I'll find out— how many months after did we move to LA?

Like 6.

Oh, okay.

We went again though, but after that, didn't we?

So we were 18 and then in February we moved to LA.

We did. We went again though. I feel like we went twice and then we went again.

I don't know if I remember it like that.

We stayed at Cristiano's and then we stayed at Michelle's.

Oh yeah.

But when was that? Oh, that was for Halloween.

Oh, I remember. So no, no. So did we go before? The first time we stayed is— I've talked about this on the pod. We stayed at Cristiano's. He's our buddy. He owned Mischief Studios.

Oh yeah. You know, all the Viners would work with him. And right when we landed from the airport, we met there. I landed first. I met you at like 10 p.m. I remember you came in and Alex was— this is obviously the first time you're seeing somebody from like an iPhone screen. I remember how big he was. He was— I remember hugging him and my first thing I said to him was like, wow, you're really big. He made me feel tiny because Alex is— what are you, 6'1"?

Like 6'2". 6'2".

And he's like built big, especially at the time. He was like— he had that Minnesota fucking—

Minnesota boy.

Yeah, yeah, the Minnesota muscle.

Corn-fed boy.

Yeah. So I— so when I hugged him, I was like, oh my God, this guy's huge. That was the first thing I said to him.

Someone to protect me.

I feel safe in LA.

And if shit goes down, we're good.

And then, um, And then yeah, we stayed at the studio, which kind of—

Stuck on the floor.

It was tough.

What month was that?

I'm telling you, that was around October, I think.

It must have been before.

It was fall. It was quite chilly. It wasn't summer, but it was like getting to be chilly. And we woke up in the morning and we were, remember when we were walking around looking for a place to shower?

Yeah, that was awful. It's the worst. I went to a gym, I think.

I didn't go with you.

You were gone. I don't know where you went.

No.

You went somewhere.

I didn't go into the gym.

Probably to get laid.