The Truth About Burning Man

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. I've been looking, I've been doing a lot of research. I have a lot to fill you guys in on. Okay, Jay, I know you've been wanting to go to North Korea.

Yes, it's on my bucket list.

He's been dying. I don't know how legit this is, but this is 10 facts I bet you didn't know about North Korea.

Okay.

And I saw a TikTok about it. No Wi-Fi. Number 1. It's damn close to it. Okay. I don't know how legit these are, so if you're North Korean listening to this—

Ghosts worth more than people?

If you're listening to this from North Korea, do not get mad.

They can't be.

It's not possible. There's 3 generations of punishment. Did you know that?

No, what's that?

So if you commit a crime, your children and grandchildren will be born into punishment.

What? Oof.

It's just kind of ridiculous.

Wait, that's insane.

They will be forced to live and die in labor camps even if they were unborn at the time of the offense. Oh, I don't know. See, this is why I'm saying this is like, I don't want to be spitting facts right at the top of the show that aren't true.

It's grim.

Oh my God.

Yeah, but we've got to let the people be aware of this, dude.

Listen, I'm not trying to get all USA over here, but I met a guy the other day and he freaking— I go, how'd you get in this country? He's like a young kid and he goes, oh, he goes, he's from Russia. And he goes, oh, he goes, I had some friends who are gay. You know, and you know, I said, oh, they should have rights too. You know, like just because they're gay, they should have rights too. So they convinced me to tweet some stuff.

Okay.

And so I go on Twitter and I start tweeting. Next thing I know, 2 weeks later, government at my door. He's like, and I have to leave the country. And he's here on asylum. Isn't that fucking nuts?

Whoa.

That's in Russia.

Oh, in Russia.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

That's crazy. Yeah, wait, is this that— you've brought this guy up on the Russian— yeah, you brought this guy up on like 3 different podcasts. How long was your interaction with this man for that you still have stories about this?

I went to the Tesla diner with him.

Oh, okay, so you hung out with him for a while.

See, my vlog is like the, the double-A team. You'll show up in my vlog, and if you do well there, then you can maybe make it to your vlog. No, wait, so I'm trying people out for you.

Wait, that's an incredible story.

Also make sure he's not a fucking psychopath before I bring him to the house.

Wait, but I thought the US was like notoriously difficult to get into. How is he on How is he on asylum here in the US?

I don't know. He works at Erewhon now.

Fuck, that's like literally— he's living the American dream. Yeah, he literally went from gay people are the best to boom.

Yeah, to every gay person making their smoothies. To Erewhon. Yeah. And by curious people too.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

Like you.

I mean, like, that's wild.

So Charlie and I are just sitting there having dinner and we like to go down there because everybody can get something from 3 different places. And Erewhon is there and he just walks up to me and just goes, Jason Nash, thank you for creativity.

Oh, that's amazing.

And I was like, what? And I turned to Wyatt, I go, what did he say? And he goes, I don't know. He goes, I'm sorry, what did you say? And he goes, thank you for creativity.

That's amazing.

Like that. And I was like, oh, okay, he's thanking me for, I guess, making videos or whatever. And then, like, you know, it blew his mind that he's like, you have no idea, like, to see you, it's unreal to be here talking to you.

So he watched you in Russia?

Yeah, he watched you too.

Damn.

Yeah. So when you go to—

he probably watched me and he's like, I'm gonna stand up for the gays and get the fuck out of here and get in David's vlog. I gave him the energy to stand up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He probably said, he goes, I know David is secretly gay. I have to tweet.

I have to tweet. Wait, that's amazing.

Wait, so good times.

So that's how scary and like legitimately they like tackle things like that in Russia.

Yeah.

They'll come to your door. Okay, hold on. You know, there's always two sides.

And he can't go back.

There's always two sides to every story.

Okay.

Did he just tweet like pro-gay or was he like, I'm going to kill Putin?

He bombed them all too. I mean, you know, no big deal. No, he didn't do that.

Right.

I don't know. This is what he told me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe we'll have him on the pod and we can talk about it.

Oh no, mass murder too. But yeah, I think it was the tweets that they were there for.

Something sounds—

Yeah, sounds a little suspicious, but maybe that's how it is in Russia.

Maybe he's lying. I don't know.

Yeah, the whole thing is made up, but he does have a cool job. Okay, now I'm going to continue going on with North Korea facts. Okay. I don't think that I just forgot this. North Korea has its own time zone called Pyongyang time. In 2015, Kim Jong-un created a new time zone by setting the clock 30 minutes behind South Korea and Japan, calling it a symbol of independence. Pretty fucking sick. It was reversed in 2018, then rumored to have been restored again. Wow.

Yeah.

So it was reversed and then reversed back.

It didn't work.

I mean, nobody knows. I think if you call North Korea, nobody will tell you what time it is there. I think that's like a big secret.

So why do I hear that like influencers can go over there now?

Because now, okay, so I have this buddy who like went over there.

Yeah.

And they did open it up. They closed it for a moment again and they opened it up again, I think like a month and a half ago. Yeah, like a special passport. You go over there, obviously they're probably like watching all your shit, but I still don't get it because like I've seen a lot. You've seen TikToks from there, right?

Not really.

Oh, like I've been seeing TikToks from influencers and they're like, the influencers will be in their hotel rooms and they'll be like, it feels like it's the '30s in here. This bed is so stiff. And I'll be like, how the fuck do you have the balls to say that in your hotel room? Like, how do you have the balls to be like, this place feels outdated? I mean, what was that story about that guy that was like He like tore down a poster of Kim Jong-un. Like there's a tourist in North Korea.

I don't know.

He tore down a poster and then he was in jail for like 15, he was beaten for like 15 years.

Oh.

Yeah, if you're considering moving there.

Maybe don't.

I don't really recommend that.

You know, I listened to our first podcast last night driving home.

Yeah.

I texted you. Do you not get my texts?

No, I got it, I got it. I listened to it too this morning.

You did?

I did.

It's called YouTube Douchebags.

Yeah.

What was it like?

You know, I was hesitant to listen to it. I was trying to hear yesterday's episode, which is all fucked up.

And I think it's fixed now.

It's fixed.

But yeah, your genius scheme worked, which no one knows about now because it didn't— it worked too good.

Oh damn, it's gone.

No, it's—

it's—

no one's hearing the 3 minutes and 24 seconds that you recorded.

Oh, so it didn't fix back?

It didn't fix back, no.

Wow. Should we explain what happened? Yeah, yeah, because it's quite a legendary move. Well, Jason was like, let's not upload the pod because the first 3 minutes and 24 seconds were being cut off, right?

Glitching.

It was glitching and it would just start the pod in the middle. So I'm like, let's fucking just record some bullshit first.

I was at my end of my rope at this point.

Yeah, this was 9 PM.

I've been here like 9 hours. I was looking at his bed. I was by his bed and I was like, this guy's fucking nuts. And then something caught me and I was like, no, this is the kind of things that we used to do that would be so fun.

So I told him, I was like, let's record a 3-minute, 24-second beginning that's a bunch of nonsense so it could be cut out. But so the podcast device or whatever we were using to upload, the software can automatically cut it out because that's what it's doing. And I guess it worked. It cut out our first 3 minutes of the 24 seconds of the pod, but it worked perfectly because that was just bullshit added on stuff.

Yeah, but the 3 minutes and 24 seconds were funny.

Yeah, those are the lost tapes.

Those are the lost tapes.

It was Jason whistling a song and I had to guess what song it was.

Yeah, and David sounded like he was like, like a nerd in a movie, like coming up with the plan to, like, save the world.

Yeah, I explain to everybody exactly how I'm going to do it. And then we kind of— it was really fun because I just kept looking at the timer on the little keyboard and I was like, okay, we got 2 more minutes left. It's like a really fun way to record a podcast where you're like, okay, almost there.

So then I went home and I was trying to make sure that it worked in my car. So I say, I say Vews in my car, but what comes up is the very first episode. So I'm like, oh shit, I can't listen to this. This is going to be embarrassing.

Wait, when you like Tesla When you told your Tesla, I want to listen to Views Podcast, it gives you the first episode?

That's what came up.

Wow, sick.

And so I was like, oh, this is going to be awful. And then I started listening to it and it was so good.

Yeah, honestly, like kind of just sounded like an episode today.

Really?

Yeah.

No, it sounded different than today. Like it sounded very like we were just like talking. We had so much to talk about.

It was our first episode.

Yeah, no, but you'd be surprised what we hit on that was that was like really funny.

What did we hit on?

Like we talked about, like you made fun of me. You literally told the story about finding me in a comedy club, which I thought was so funny.

Told that like 9 times now.

No, I know, but like the pieces that were in the pilot, if anyone listened to it, you'd be like, oh, this is pretty good. Then this morning I start listening to episode 2 and you go, you go, you go, holy shit, guys, we're number 1 in comedy after the second episode and number 3 in the world. And you're like, well, it's not gonna last for long. It was crazy. I was like, wow, I don't remember that. Oh yeah, it was wild.

Yeah, well, also podcasts at that time— we started podcasts like at the perfect— yeah, like not the very beginning, but the very beginning of like influencer podcasting. Yeah, so like we— so we got lucky there where it was like our numbers really got boosted right out of the gate because we were sending people from YouTube.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it was really kick-ass.

Yeah, yeah. And none of the— all the comedians that do podcasts now, they don't— they didn't— they weren't doing them.

Really? Like, I also didn't know what podcast was. So when we were number one in comedy, I was just like, okay, like I probably said it, but like it didn't mean much because that was— I heard of podcast.

Yeah.

When we first started talking about podcast, like there was— I wasn't listening to podcasts in high school. I didn't even know that they were a thing.

Yeah.

I always thought the app logo for podcasts on my iPhone or iPod Touch or whatever, like I did not know. I thought it was like for like older people, like 80-year-olds, like NPR or whatever.

Right. Oh, you tell your— you tell your villain origin story on the pilot.

It's so fucking Wait, whose villain origin?

Yours.

Well, what was it?

You're like, so I'm in my room and you're like, like, and I'll never forget this. I was in my room, I had my laptop and my mom comes in and she's like, put your laptop down. And it's like, and I stood up and I said, I'm working.

That's when I was watching.

And I said, she's going to remember this moment. I'm going to become a YouTuber and she's going to remember it. I was loving it.

That's really funny. Yeah, that is my villain origin story. Wow. Damn. Okay, I got to go back. How many pod episodes do we have? Are these numbered or how does it—

300 in December.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

300 episodes. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Not that— not too shabby. And we got a plaque for it, Jay. Where? Well, it's in the bathroom. I think you took it. You took it from me.

Oh, I did take it from you.

Someone left me a DM. They were like, yo, that's fucked up that you didn't give it to Jay. I blocked that person immediately.

Did you get a lot of DMs about the pod being all fucked up?

I got a couple.

Okay.

Like, I have some people that I like, I speak to like on like a monthly basis.

Okay.

That like, you know, watch us or listen to us. Okay. And I saw those immediately. Those people don't like to like— like, it'll pop up in my general inbox so I don't have to go through like requests or whatever.

Yeah.

Like those people don't like to say when there's something wrong with the podcast because I think they respect you so much that they know that I'm going to yell at you. But this time they were very obvious about it. They're like, it's starting in the middle of the podcast is starting really wrong, but we fixed it.

Have you guys heard about the show The Summer I Turned Pretty?

Oh no, but you were fucking, you were telling me that there was some orgies going on.

Okay, 'cause I think the show, I was watching it the other night and like every girl was watching it, right? It's like just the big teeny bopper show, whatever. I'm sure your daughter's watching it. And I was like, listen, I was watching it and I was like, oh, this show, and I'm like hanging on the edge of my seat watching the show. And then I was thinking about it. I was like, this is like really kind of fucked up. Like the whole premise of the show is this girl, she has her two childhood friends, they're brothers. And every summer they go, they summer together essentially. And she ends up, she has a crush on both of them. She ends up hooking up with one of them and saying, sorry, made a mistake. I actually liked the other one. And is like in a relationship, getting married to the other brother. And it's this whole like love triangle between the brothers.

Does she switch back later? Cause then it's fucked up.

No, I haven't. I haven't finished this season. I don't know if she switches back yet. The season's not over.

Oh, you told me— you made this sound like they were doing some really crazy shit in there.

Are the actors brothers in real life?

No, no, no, no. But I just thought, like, the whole premise is, like, people, like, like, rally around the show, and, like, there's so much, like, camaraderie around it, and it's, like, kind of fucked up. Like, this girl's, like, she's, like, fucking up these brothers.

Isn't that where we are, though, in media? You know what I mean? Like, you'd read a book like that Right? You read like a juicy teenage girl book like that.

100%.

Yeah. I can see, you know, like, you know, they're making shows for people and it's going more and more out there.

Yeah.

But now all these, like, now these kids that are in high school are like, oh, like, I can go hook up with this guy and then if I like his brother, I can maybe go get with his brother.

Oh, you think it's sending the wrong impression?

I think so. It's like such a weird— I mean, I read books too. Like, all the books I read are romance books and I feel like they're all like kind of twisted in some weird fucked up way.

Yeah. Well, why?

That's like so normal. Like, it's just like, it's like a little bit of exaggeration. I'm sure. First off, I'm sure that's happened in real life countless amounts of times.

Sure.

But like, wouldn't you rather read a book where like that's happening?

Well, it's just funny that like the weird thing is glorified.

Well, what's so weird about it? She's in love with two brothers.

Yeah, I don't get it.

I mean, like, that happens, right? And wasn't that what Challengers was about too?

Yeah, Challengers was a great movie, but also like fucking, you know, kind of weird.

They weren't brothers though, right?

No, I don't think so.

No, they were like teammates.

Challengers was great. You—

someone was about to bring the show up like the other day. They were like, you're watching The Summer I Turned Pretty? And Ellie goes, wait, wait, wait, don't talk about it. I need to bring it up to Dave on the podcast. So for like the last like 3 days—

that's funny.

So for the last 3 days, I'm like, what the fuck are they doing on this show? Like, they must be doing like coke off each other's like penises. Like, what on earth is going on? That's like—

doesn't—

I forgot my audience. Sorry.

So insanely— it's just a girl in love with 2 different guys.

Yeah, but it's like fucked up. Like, it's like emotional turmoil and like—

Yeah, I guess.

Why is it fucked up?

What's fucked up? 13 Going on 30. Have you seen that? That's kind of fucked up.

Wait, why is that fucked up?

What do you mean? She's a 13-year-old and then she's— she's a 13-year-old in a 30-year-old woman body, like hooking up with men. It's fucked up. Like, that's crazy to me.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

No, like, I don't know, I just feel like it's Fucked up has been just around.

Well, yeah, but nobody knows she's 13. They're not like, oh yes, I get to fuck this 13-year-old.

The 20 people in the movie don't know, but the millions of people that watch it know.

I mean, what do you mean? It's just the audience. I never thought of that. That's pretty good, Dave.

I mean, I just think it's—

That's crazy.

Yeah, it's insane. I just think fucked up has always been like a thing.

How was Wavers?

Where?

When you went.

Oh, we went to D.C. How was that? Oh, fuck, man. It was intense. I'm really like scared of doing meet and greets. Yeah, I just like, I just like, I get really nervous. I get really sweaty. I just get like so freaked out. Like, this is— and I just like, this is like, this is from like Views podcast days, you know, when we did the meet and greets. Like, it was just— I was just always so stressed out about them. I don't know why. So Natalie didn't tell me we're doing a meet and greet, and then I got in there and whoops, completely fucking— I didn't post about it or anything. But Wavers was secretly posting about it on the side and I didn't know. And then I got there and our point person's like, okay, so the line is here. We're going to start to meet everybody. I'm like, whoa, I thought I was handing out like samples to random Costco goers.

Okay, well, it wasn't like a proper meet and greet. It was like super low key.

Super low key.

You're like a child star.

Super low key.

You know that?

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't tell you what's happening.

You can't do it.

I just like, don't like, I feel Like if the meet and greet is like in a room and like we're all hanging out, it's just like, it's so weird to be like, there's a line of people waiting to meet you. You're in the middle of Costco and then there's other shoppers walking by going, who's that? What's going on? They're just trying to get through. And I'm over there like posing with my chips. I feel so bad. And I'm just like, I feel like I'm inconveniencing people even though like people are excited.

How are you inconveniencing people?

Because I'm like in the middle. There's a lot of people.

You're causing a little bit of a scene, a little bit of a ruckus, right? You're disturbing the average shopping day, average shopping.

There's people that are lined up are in the refrigerated section. There's like 70 people lined up there, and then there's like 10, 15 Costco workers that are like, like attending to everybody.

Yeah.

So it's like, yeah, people are in the way. And then, and then there's like camera crew with like shooting vertical and horizontal videos, and then like, like customers are like, should I, should I walk by? It's like, yes, yes, please walk by the cameras, it's fine.

Oh yeah, yeah. Someone's trying to take a photo and they want to pass.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But other than that, it was a really good— people really, really are fucking loving the waivers.

So it's, it's That's great.

It's exciting. And it's exciting because people could get it like anywhere.

Yeah.

Now, I mean, it's not quite yet, but like, I just love that.

Coming into grocery stores soon.

Yeah. I just love that it's not just in LA.

Yeah.

And people from like random states are hitting me up about it and they're like, I love it. Try Late Night Pizza. It's the best, guys. Guys, Jon's here on the pod. Jason and Jon, before we started the pod today, had a drive back. We went to go film a bit and they drove back together. And all I kept thinking to myself, I was driving behind you guys, I was like, damn, Jason's gonna come back with some sort of story. What happened? What was the drive like?

Jon was explaining to me booking guests on the Zila podcast, and he was explaining me algorithms and beefs, YouTube feuds, and he's like really into YouTube. And of course, you know, you're loving the conversation with Jon, but then every 3 minutes you're like, what did he just fucking say? You know? Right, right. He'll be like, well, you know, they're fighting right now, and so I'm not sure, they both had a different line. You're like, wait, what? And then you do the math. You're like, oh, okay. I think what he's trying to say is they both disagreed or something. You know what I mean? But he comes out as they both had a different line.

What does that mean?

He was talking about two people that were feuding, and instead of saying they disagreed, he said they both had a different line. That's actually a funny game show we could do, you know, where like, where Jon and Alex and Ilya have to discern what Jon was trying to say.

Jon, who do you think understands you the most?

I hate to admit it, but I think it's Dave.

I knew it.

I hate to admit it.

John, you can't answer like that. You have a girlfriend. Even if it's not true, you got to say Julia.

Oh, I don't know.

That's tough.

Why do— what does Dave—

they can both get me, I guess.

What does Dave get that Julia doesn't?

No, there's been some moments where John has said something.

Yeah.

And Julia was trying to figure it out and I got right into it and John goes, yes, Dave, you win. I mean, it is a competition to see who gets—

Yeah, it's not a competition, guys.

No, but it is. It is. It truly is.

It's not a competition.

Because you speak in like— I was watching a TikTok the other day about how far back in history you can go where you'd still understand how people speaking— like, you'd still understand the English language.

Yeah.

And if you go back to the year 400, it'd be impossible. And that's kind of what John is. John's like a futuristic dialect. That I just so happened to have picked up over the last couple of years. But I am a native speaker in John tongue. So I think, yeah, I hate giving myself credit too.

It's because when he knows I'm frustrated, like he knows I get past the frustration. All right, guys, I think what he's really trying to say. That's what he says.

Yeah, yeah.

That's what he says.

He shows some kindness.

Yes, after the berating, you know, after he says like, what?

After the what? The berating.

That's not even true. I don't show kindness. I don't translate to be kind. I translate to show everyone in the room how far off he is. I translate and then I go, see, that's what he meant. He's a fucking dumbass.

That was just mean.

Okay.

No, but I was trying to paint you in like a nice pair of picture and then you just—

A nice pair of picture?

Nice pair of picture.

Yeah.

Wait, wait, sorry. What did you say?

You know what he was trying to say.

No, what did he say?

He said a nice pair of picture.

Right, nice parapet.

He was trying to paint you a nice picture.

I was trying to paint you a nice picture. Yes.

Did I tell you the other day what was happening? We were in Washington, D.C. with John.

Yeah.

Did I say this on the pod or have I just been telling the story to everybody around me? No, I don't think so. We were in the pod. We were in the car driving from D.C. and John goes, I can't believe Ben Stiller is like being like hospitalized. And they're like, basically, what did he say?

He is going to rehab or something.

Yeah, he said Ben Stiller is going to rehab or something like that.

Okay.

And we're like— and all of us, it's me, Taylor, Natalie, go, "What? What? What's going on?" And he goes, "Well, you know, he like doesn't even remember he's an actor anymore." And I'm like, "You fucking mean Bruce Willis?" And he goes— and like I'm really aggravated, he's like, "Yes, that's what I said." And I'm like, "You didn't say Bruce Willis, you said Ben Stiller." And then he's fighting us on it. I'm like, "Jon," 'How on earth did all three of us hear Ben Stiller?' And like, we freaked out. And then, and then John, and then John goes, 'Yes, I said Bruce Stiller,' again messes it up. And I'm like, 'John, did you hear what you just said?' And then he also forgot that he just said Bruce Stiller. He just like, he says things and then he forgets it.

Imagine John in a murder case, like he's a key witness, gets on the stand.

Oh my God, it'd be the worst.

Oh my God, just making shit up.

That would be the worst.

I saw that guy with the blonde brown hair. Which one was it? Now, earlier you said it was brown hair.

Could you imagine if I was trying to get acquitted of a murder and my only witness that day is John? So the records state here that you were playing pickleball with John. John, is that true? Yes, he was killing it. Killing what? Don't use that word, John. Don't use that word.

Yeah, you're the type of witness that both lawyers look at you, the prosecution and the defense, and they both go, you know, fuck this guy. Neither of us want him.

Yeah, the case would be called off. Yeah, because there's too much confusion. That is the most entertaining part about John, is deciphering it. It's like a game. It's like Sudoku.

Do you ever worry about murder, John? You ever worry about where you are in case you'd be pinned— a murder would be pinned on you?

No, not really.

I think about that.

What's your biggest fear, John?

What's my biggest fear?

Yeah.

I mean, I'm scared of a lot of things.

Yeah. Give me one. Give me two.

Scary movies. You popping out of nowhere. You coming in my bathroom. There's a lot of things I could list.

You coming in my bathroom. That's wild. Yeah, that is kind of scary.

Like when you're on the toilet, you think Dave's going to barge in.

You know, that's my most vulnerable state.

You lock the door?

There's no locks.

Oh, that's not good.

I removed all the locks.

No, no, no, I'm kidding.

I removed all the locks. No one's allowed to shit without my approval. You're taking a shit? Let me come in there and smell it.

Toilet cam in there.

I don't want toilet cam, but it does go both ways because David doesn't have a lock either.

So David goes both ways.

Yeah, it's like he wants you.

He's explaining the story, he goes, David's gay.

What?

That's not it. Um, yeah, no, no, we do have a lock problem in this house.

It's just the type of door, the type of door.

We just recently replaced the lock on the, like, the living room bathroom.

Was it broken again?

Yeah. No, no, no. Like a month ago. Yeah. Yeah. We made the bathroom door have an actual lock. And before it used to be like, if it was shut, you knock. But now it's like, it's a big deal. And I would avoid that bathroom too, because I'm like, now you can actually use it comfortably, which is crazy that it took this long.

What's the hardest thing you've had to do so far working here?

Oh, man. Just finding the random things that David can think of at that specific moment that he thinks I can have within, you know, like Fairy OddParents. It's kind of like that, like, I wish, and then, and then he's the one and he's waiting for it to happen, and I'm like, it's not happening.

So like you're saying, I'll ask you for things and then I'll expect it immediately.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You wanted to— he wanted a grappling hook the other night.

Yeah, I could not find a grappling hook. I literally traveled the entire valley.

I went all the way. I told him because we needed— we were doing this bit where I can't believe I'm referencing this bit again, but where Jonah was dressed as Batman. And the initial joke was that he uses a grappling hook to get out of the car, like Batman uses it to fly, but Jonah just can't get out of the car. So I really wanted a grappling hook, and John went to like 9 or 10 different stores, and it got so frustrating where I just didn't believe John couldn't find a grappling hook that I started calling people, and then I was getting frustrated. I'm like, why am I calling everybody now? Like, why did I just hire John just to join him on his tag team? And it's also funny, like, John started working here a week ago. And Taylor loves doing this. Taylor was so excited because she's like, now she's a buddy at work. So I'll give Taylor a task, which will be like, I don't know, give me it. It'll literally be like, can you go grab the mail? And Taylor will go, come on, John.

It was great.

It was like a little shadow. And we'll do things as buddies.

Not to get the mail.

But it's damn near close to that. Yeah.

It's funny.

It's really close to that. It's like this buddy system now. Taylor thinks that has happened here. But yeah, I mean, John was never like a hire here to make progress. It was more of like just to get him away from that lab.

And that's our favorite kind of hire here.

Yeah, I guess if you're a moron, apply.

John, don't laugh. That's a diss on you.

What?

Hey, what do you mean? What do you mean?

No, no, John, you're very smart. You're very smart. You gotta get all your algorithm stuff going, you know, and you're very interested in that. You can cook up Dave's analytics, right? And this podcast analytics.

This one? I mean, I don't even know how this— Yeah, well, I'm struggling with that first.

What? I said I'm struggling with that first.

He's struggling with his own.

Oh, your podcast. Okay, well, once you figure it out, let us know. Oh, we should tell the story about the perverts. We had a real pervert sighting today.

Oh yeah, which, fuck, okay. Yeah, yeah. So, so fuck, every time we talk about this though, it's like reaffirming people, validating people's behavior.

Oh yeah, yeah.

Oh, whatever, it's fine.

It's—

we're too far gone. We were on Sunset Boulevard filming something.

I think it's fucking really funny.

I mean, it's hilarious.

It's really funny for us.

I mean, it caught me off guard. I was— I looked around, honestly. I was like, did I hear that?

I looked at Jim like, yeah, someone drove by and it was like a blonde girl.

Yeah, well, like 4 months ago, Dave coined everybody the perverts. You guys, the listeners, perverts, which was really funny.

Unfortunately, it was like a joke. It was a fucking—

yeah, was it?

Did that— yeah.

And then I think later in the episode you're like, you know what, let's not do that, let's take— and then it was too late. And now we get, we get a lot of DMs about being perverts, comments, and fellow pervert here. Hey, what's up? But today was my first inciting of someone saying, hey, I'm a pervert.

Oh, this was your first?

My first, yeah.

Oh, when I was at Costco when we were doing the waivers thing. Oh no way!

Yeah.

What do you mean? Yeah, it was all perverts in line. That's that.

No, it wasn't.

I usually like laugh. The example is like, well, people will come up to me like at Costco, we were doing those signing them, whatever, the waivers. And then people would be like, oh, hey, I'm a pervert. And then it gets worse when they go like, I'm a fellow pervert. Cause it makes me look like we like met in AA or something and like we're meeting on the street for the first time. But yeah, so this time we were filming on Sunset and what happened, Jay?

You were in a a girl in a white BMW just is rolling up. She looks out the window and she goes, "I'm a pervert." Like that. And I go, "Right on." I didn't know what to say.

Yeah, it's really tough. It was wild. And then Jason was mimicking her.

Yeah.

You were driving away. I don't even know if you did this, but Jason got into Jon's car and started driving away, and he just rolls down his window. Then I'm filming outside and Jason screams, You're a pervert!

So is John!

You're like, John Brain, John is driving, he goes, oh, that'd be really funny if we yell pervert. And I was like, what do you mean? And then I see you filming something on the side of the road, and as soon as it came out of my mouth, I was like, oh my God, why did I do that? I was like, that's so awkward.

I rolled it down for him too, it's a good idea.

It didn't even make any sense.

He just yells at me, you're a pervert! And I'm like, great, Jay, there's like random people standing next to me on the sidewalk.

Tay's gotta be careful when she's out with you, John. Oh my God, bad idea.

Oh, that was John's idea.

Yeah, John told me to do it. Yeah, and then I didn't realize as I was doing it, I thought I was like showing like, you know, being like unified. Yeah, unity.

That's right. Yeah, we're like the Pervert Unity. Pervert Adventures.

So I can't imagine like the, um, the, the suit and tie people from Costco and Wavers as they're listening to somebody go, hey, I'm a pervert.

Thank God people were really quiet about it. It was very low key.

Respectful perverts.

Respectful perverts.

Yeah, yeah, people are Yes, yes, yes, yes. No one said it. I like what you just say it under your breath. Say it to me.

Yeah, maybe they can. Maybe we can come up with something else.

You ever seen Valkyrie? It's with Tom Cruise.

I missed that one. I missed it.

So it's basically, it's true story of how he's— there's an assassination attempt on Hitler.

Okay.

And he was behind it. Oh, wow. And like, to like, not Tom Cruise, but the actor. Yeah, the character. And all the people that are in on this mission are working in like the Nazi government. But they all have these like little golden cards that like they show each other that they're like part of the union. That's kind of like the perverts, like just secretly show me your badge of honor. Don't flaunt it around so the other Germans can see. Just tell me.

Well, we should go on a website and let people print out their pervert card. And you go to the website, you can print it out and cut it out and then laminate it.

That's pretty good.

And you can show it.

Ooh, like in their lock screen or something.

It would be cool.

Yes.

Yeah. And I'll give you like a little head nod.

Yeah.

Like Michael Caine at the end of Batman when he thinks Batman died, but Batman's sitting across from him at dinner. Michael Caine doesn't make a big deal out of it. He just acknowledges and he goes, I see you. I see you, Batman. Okay.

Yeah.

We'll make pervert merch. Pervert merch.

Let's not and see what you think.

I'm a pervert.

Really?

Not feeling that one.

Okay.

But submit, submit your suggestions for something.

What a buzzkill.

I don't know. I don't think you need to make merch, but I think you could do like a little PV card. Just PVVs.

I don't know if we should be encouraging the pervs.

Well, we're not. It's just a funny name to call people.

I know, but out of context, it's a little spooky. Speaking of perverts, though, I saw Jason on the street. No, I saw this. I got this TikTok. This is very random, but I got this TikTok and I thought it was funny because I obviously hang out with a lot of guys and I hear a lot of slang and lingo. I've never heard this one. Do you guys know what bat wings are?

No.

Bat wings?

Yeah. Do you know what that is?

That's disgusting.

Let's try to guess.

Do you know what it is?

The vagina related?

No. No.

Okay.

That's a good guess.

Yeah, that is a good guess.

Really good guess. Oh, bat wings.

Oh, is it like the upper back?

You're eating some bat wings last night sticking out?

Ew, Jay. So were you eating some bat wings last night?

Ew.

But what is it?

It's basically like It's the whole— the whole TikTok was this guy like smirking about bat wings, and you're just— it's like a 'if you know, you know' sort of thing. And then whatever, then I ended up going on the deep dive, but bat wings is apparently like when you have— when you're like really sweaty down there if you're a guy, and it's like sticking to the side of your thigh and it's like spreading.

Oh, that's really funny. That's never happened to me.

Okay, well, there was a whole thing on them when I was like, oh, this is actually a real thing.

When your ball sack sticks to your thigh and spreads apart? It's like a bat wing?

Yeah, on your hanging brain.

But what I mean, I've— no, I don't think— I don't think that's ever happened to me. Are your balls like that? Like skin?

I've got the longest balls here and that doesn't even happen to me.

Really?

Yeah. And when you're sweaty, it's not like they stick.

They're saying it's skin to skin and then it's spreading out like a bat wing. I mean, a lot of people seem to be experiencing this.

I thought that was funny. Is there another slang that I can guess? It's so angry.

What else frustrates you? Um, what about, what about like just little things, little annoyances in life? Okay, what annoys you? Got anything?

You know what annoyed me?

What?

Jewish people have Hanukkah, so they celebrate so early.

That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. I finished.

I gotta hear this. That's fucking great.

That's incredible, dude.

I remember when I was younger, I was like, no, finish the original sentence.

We still don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, like, you know, like Jewish people have Hanukkah, so they have like 7 days of giving.

He thought that we got the full gist. I still cut him off again, but he thought that even from the moment he gave us earlier that we were already on board. Okay, sorry, I won't cut you off. Go.

When I was younger, I said like—

No, no, the Jewish people thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So like, you know, like I sometimes wish I was Jewish just because like, you know, for Christmas time, you had like 7 days of Christmas. It's 8. Oh, it's 8?

Yeah.

Oh, even better.

Yeah, it doesn't work out like that though.

Oh, really?

I'm Jewish. Yeah, you get like a big gift the first night and then the last night.

Oh.

You know what I mean? Then you wind up the like night 4, you get like no book.

Christmas is like my favorite holiday. Favorite, favorite holiday.

Me too, me too.

Imagine celebrating it for 8 days in a row.

I don't like it. It's like Burning Man. Okay, relax. I'd rather just do like one set of Tame Impala and be out.

How much money would I have to pay to go to Burning Man?

Oh, wow. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Probably a fucking lot.

Really?

It's the exact opposite of where I ever want to be. Like, everything I've ever seen about it makes me not want to go. Probably a quarter of a million dollars.

Yeah, a quarter of a million. Okay.

Is that fair or am I fucking crazy?

No, no, no. It's awful. I've been. Oh, you've been? I've been, yeah.

Okay, so explain your Burning Man experience. Why did you go? What the fuck happened?

I went with Comedy Central, and so they were—

Wow.

I went to go film something with Comedy Central, and they were like, uh—

Okay, that's funny. That makes sense.

Yeah, yeah. So we went there, and we're there, and it's just like, we're sleeping on the ground. It's fucking hot.

Excuse me, sleeping on the ground?

We're in a tent, but it's just like, it's a tent.

Like a sleeping bag?

Yeah.

Wow, so Comedy Central, like the big— Station, TV network.

Yeah, but they don't pay shit. So I was like, it was like, you can do this or not do this.

Did you have access to a shower?

Yes, we have to wait in line. It wasn't like I had any, any kind of like fancy accommodations or anything. And then I'm sleeping the first night, I'm sleeping there, it's 4 in the morning, I'm fucking sleeping in the tent, and all I hear is— Wow. And I'm like I can't sleep. I can't fucking sleep, and I have to work tomorrow morning. So I'm like, fuck it, I'm gonna go see this fucking party. The music is that loud. And I walk. I walk forever. I walk, I walk, I walk, I walk through the darkness. You know, and I'm walking, I'm walking, I'm walking, the music's getting louder and louder and louder, and I'm like, this is gonna be a fucking party. And I fucking get there, and I come up on this veranda, and I see the stage. It's one guy playing the music.

Oh my God.

No one dancing. And he's just going, oof, oof, oof, pumping his fist. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? No, no one's enjoying it. No one's enjoying this.

It's just one guy from his one speaker.

Oh, he had 6 speakers. You can do whatever the fuck you want out there. Yeah, and you can— the only cool thing I saw was there's like art cars, and so you could get on like a hot tub car and like drive around, they spin you around, but there's no music.

How do you get around? Like, okay, so how do you— you gotta explain this whole process because Burning Man is like the most confusing, scary thing to me on planet Earth. So how do you— where do you buy tickets? Do you need tickets just in the desert?

Yeah, you have to buy them online.

How much is it?

When I went, it was at least like $600 to enter the campsite. To enter the campsite? To enter the Dust Bowl.

It's called the Dust Bowl?

Well, I call it that.

And does everyone have to have— I mean, does everyone have to be accounted for in the car? Like, what if you bring an RV and you sneak 10 friends in?

Yeah, you gotta have a wristband on your damn wrist.

There's people walking around Burning Man that work Burning Man?

Yeah, you can't get in there.

Okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now there is, there is like a really high-end Burning Man where people fly private jets in, like what Natalie was talking about, but I've never experienced that. But apparently that's really nice, but I don't know anything about that.

No, I don't know, I don't think that looks any better. Okay, so you got in for how long were you there for?

We were there for like 3 nights.

3 nights?

Yeah, and then I was like, they're like, you gotta stick around, they're gonna burn the man on Sunday, you're gonna— And I was like, "We're fucking leaving. We're getting out of here." And my filmers and everybody was like, "Yes, we gotta go." It was fucking awful. There's no music. There's no headliners. There's no nothing. They all wait around to burn this fucking man. I'm gonna get fucking roasted for this, but I don't care. It's— David, you're sitting there, and all of a sudden a sandstorm comes. And everyone's like, "Fuck!" Like, "Fuck it, get down!" And it's a fucking sandstorm, and you're in your tent like— And you're fucking like battened down like—

What? Oh my God.

And they were— oh, oh, and then I'm like, I'm sitting there and I go to get water. They don't sell anything. They might have changed, but when I went—

No, this is what I hear. You can't— yeah.

When I went, they don't sell anything, Jon. You could buy water, coffee, and ice. That's the only things you can buy. There's no food.

Everything else you have to barter?

You have to barter. So it's like you'll walk up and you'll see some guy and he'll be making pancakes for like 500 people. But it, you know, it's like the Depression. It's like everyone's outside like hoping to get a fucking pancake.

Wait, wait, and how do you get a pancake?

You wait in line.

And what do you—

wait, wait, sorry, what's barter?

Yeah, you can barter, but this guy was just making pancakes for everybody. Like, it's free.

He's just nice.

But I mean, some people— yeah, you—

okay, explain to me like an example of bartering. So somebody pulls up with, hmm, 1,000 dude wipes.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

So there's a dude wipes guy.

Yeah, hey man, I got all these dude wipes. You think I could possibly get a— you think I could possibly get some marijuana from you guys? And you're like, no, I don't need fucking marijuana. I don't want your fucking dude wipes. I don't want nothing. No, no, go, go, go.

But that's how you, that's how you like switch. And then what about like the bikes?

People bring their bikes and then they ride them around, and that's pretty fun.

Are they community property, the bikes, or does that—

No, no, they come in with their bikes. Okay, and then there's no community bikes. There's no There's no city bike.

It's not like Amsterdam where there's just like bikes hanging around. Okay.

Not, not when I was there. Maybe, maybe they, maybe they offer.

And then how far apart is everything? How far is the campsite? So far we're talking like a 2, 3-mile radius.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so far. It takes forever. I went by an orgy. I saw 500 people showering and having sex.

Wait, what?

Yeah. So what's the middle of the day? 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Like, you don't expect it. You're just like, okay, let's go back and fucking maybe get out of this sandstorm. And then you're like, oh, What?

In like a tent? Like, what are they?

No, they're in showers and it's 500 people fucking jerking each other off. And, and, and, you know, yeah, you need to like elaborate on that.

It's so crazy that you still have stories like this and like this isn't like at the top of your list.

Well, you talk the entire time, I never get a chance.

This is insanity.

What do you mean? They're all just in showers jerking each other off? So imagine like an outdoor shower with lots of showers, like a, um, like, like when I'm at Coachella and I go to the porta potty station, but it's not porta potties, it's shower stalls.

Military showers?

Not even military, just open showers. Open.

No walls between the showers?

Yeah.

Okay.

And just like—

and when you say 500 people, you really mean 500 people?

Maybe it was 200, but I mean, there was a sea of fucking—

just naked people jerking each other off?

Some people are showering, some people are fucking feeling tits, some people are jerking themselves off. Like, it's what I saw, Dave. I saw it with my damn eyes.

Wait, you could just jerk yourself off? Shut the fuck up, Jay.

It's that type of thing, Dave. It's that type of thing. Like, it's like, it's like, it's like if a guy's jerking off next to you, you just kind of turn away.

And it sounds amazing.

I knew David would like this.

I'll pay $250.

But I don't understand how that stuff is happening and it doesn't get like leaked. Like, people are not taking— like, like, how does it—

okay, so this was, this was, this was before, um, oh, like social media phones and stuff. Yeah. In fact, to get a camera in there was really, really hard, and they demanded to see the footage.

And is it legal to do drugs there?

Is it legal? It's encouraged. It's all. Yeah, that's what you barter with drugs? Yeah, I mean, it's just drugs. Drug, drug, drug, drug, drug, drug.

Wait, but it's like, no. Like, police are there?

No, it's not a. It's not like a police. It's something that's not a police state. Right. It's not an actual something where it's like a free. Oh, wait, it's quite literally, like, legal to do drugs where it is not considered.

No, you gu It's one of those things that you say that would just be bad to just say. Okay, I'll look it up.

I'll look it up.

There can't possibly be a spot where drugs are just legal.

There's something about it where it's not under the jurisdiction of the next town or something like that.

Okay, so you're telling me you could just walk around, be doing drugs.

I mean, I don't— listen, I wouldn't bring a crack pipe out and fucking parade it around, but I'm saying, like, you walk around.

Crack pipe is the problem? There's 200 people jerking each other off in a shower. I think a crack pipe is like the least of anybody's worries.

I mean, that's free love, man, you know.

That's crazy. And then, and then, so what is the food situation like? Is it hard to find?

I was filming a bit and this guy fucking comes up and he's like, hey man, can I be in the skit?

And I was like, sure, sure, let's fucking, well, let's do something, whatever.

And then his cock is out and he's got like 5 fucking rings through his balls and dick.

Rings through the balls and dick?

Yeah, like rings, like through the balls and dick.

Piercings?

And then, and I'm like, what did you think? Yeah, piercings.

I thought he was like like had rings on his dick to like squeeze it or something.

You're reading a lot of weird things about balls.

He had piercings.

And then Natalie's like, he had bat wings.

Yeah, fucking bat wings. I'm never gonna forget.

I know, it's really good.

Okay, sorry, go ahead. All these piercings.

And then, and then like, okay, yeah, let's do something. And obviously I'm gonna shoot him waist up. He's like, oh, hold on, let me get my son. And then he brings like a 4-year-old.

Wow.

Who's like fucking eye level with his dad's fucking cock ring.

That's crazy.

And then I was just like, oh no, no, we're good, We're good. It was bizarre. And I don't mean to shit on it. Like, I get it. Like, when I was younger, like, I was into hippie stuff. But now at my age, I'm just like, no.

I've never, like, understood it as a hippie thing. Is it like a rich person thing? Obviously, that's like, that's the stereotype I see, that it's a bunch of rich people. Like, this is going to sound very negative, but it's like the rich people cosplaying the poor. That's like what I always see in the comments.

Oh, yeah.

Is that it?

I'm sure it's like a mix of everything.

Well, I know there's a big gripe for the people that fly the private jets in. The regular people are like, "Fuck you, dude. That's not what Burning Man's about." Right, right.

And why are you burning the man? What does it symbolize?

So let's take the other side of it. I think for a lot of people, they have a lot of shit that they go through, so every year they go out there, they fucking do drugs, they leave their job for a week,, and they kind of just get rid of all their bad juju or whatever. That's what I think it is.

I do feel bad that like I'm so anti-Burning Man because I know it's probably like the happiness source for a lot of people. And I don't mean—

people that go like, yeah, I don't want to yuck your yum.

But I think— but you know what? I will say I do think Burning Man is a little like country music where like the people that like country music understand.

Well said.

Yeah, they understand that there's other parts of the world that, you know, saying you don't like country isn't—

I used to say I don't like country, and then I see how many people like it, and I'm like, oh, it's cool. I just don't particularly listen to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. You just don't listen. It's fine.

So I take back how much I said I didn't like Burning Man.

I mean, I just didn't have a good time, but whatever.

The burning of the man is just like symbolic for like letting go, transforming. You just had this week. Let everything go, I guess.

I thought it was expensive. I just looked it up and it was like $500 to $3,000.

I mean, that's—

it is expensive, isn't it?

That's like Coachella.

Yeah, but you're also like— Coachella's like, it's like things there.

You get something.

Coachella, you're fucking Palm Springs. Yeah, like you're like in this beautiful like fairytale town. Um, but like, yeah, this is a little different. I mean, yes, this is like you're driving to like desert, desert, and there's no way to leave, right, Jay? Like there's no way to be like, okay, I'm gonna go in a hotel today.

No.

Yeah, that's good.

No, no, you're not gonna be fine.

What's the drive back to like the airport?

It took us like 9 hours to get there. From where? Oh, you know what? No, we flew. We flew into like Tahoe or something like that, or Reno. We flew into Reno and then we drove another 6 hours.

Oh, it's in Nevada?

Yeah.

In Nevada, yeah.

Oh, wow.

And we drove another like 5, 6 hours, I think. I mean, it was bad.

It was bad. When did they do it? We should go.

Last week.

It's just last week. I saw the really funny TikTok. This guy goes on there, he goes, ladies, he goes, if you're looking, if you're on the dating apps, this is the weekend to be on 'cause all the fucking shit men are at Burning Man.

It's really funny.

Yeah.

Um, also, just so we're clear, drugs are not really legal at Burning Man.

There's still federal law.

Okay. So even marijuana, even though it's in Nevada, like, you're not even supposed to have marijuana.

It's kind of crazy.

Oh, all right, guys. Well, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you for joining us. John, Jason goes to his podcast, goes to John's podcast Heavyweights. Jason's All Things Good. Natalie's clothing thing she does. We'll see you guys.

You know what, Naveen put on an Ella thing the other day and it was really nice. I go, I go, that's really nice. And she goes, it's Natalie's.

And I go, no way, running out of time. She goes, hunting. I mean, what? Sorry, camping.

That'd be cool.

Okay, what?

Let's cut it. Let's put