Scammed By My Best Friend

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. Bad news, good news, depending on how you look at it. Natalie's trying to leave the pod.

I wasn't on the pod all last week, did you realize that?

Do you know our numbers tripled?

I think they did the opposite, brother.

Really?

You know when you, when you text, uh, like I go, can you pod tonight? And you text, I have a commitment. You know, do you know how suspicious that looks?

Because my favorite is when Natalie's like, okay, yeah, Natalie's a fucking dick about letting me know about her plans. I go, what are you doing tonight? And she goes, don't worry about it. Every time. Oh, every time. And then I'm like, well, who are you going out with?

She's like, that's none of your business because you're micromanaging me and I don't like when you know what I'm doing.

Micromanaging? I just want to know where you're going.

It's not true. You're like judging to see if I should go there or if I should stay here and do shit with you.

Would you say that? Would you go, oh no, don't go there. That's dumb. Stay here and watch Harry Potter. Is that what you'd say?

You took the words out of my mouth.

Oh my God.

No, but she actually told me she's hanging hanging out with Maddie, and I really like Maddie.

So, oh, thank you for your— again, his approval. The third time he's approved my activity this evening.

But she should do the podcast for 1 hour and then—

well, I have to be there in 30 minutes and I haven't showered.

Well, what do you do? You never shower, though.

That's what you're just kidding.

Who said I never showered? Which one of you was it? I couldn't hear.

What?

We're right next to you.

I think I'm still drunk from Vegas.

I think honestly it's Taylor. I think Taylor said that. Did you just say Nelly doesn't shower? Yeah. Um, we just got back from Vegas. F1, it was super lit. Nelly was out really late.

Really?

Yeah, David was a baby. He called it like early every night.

Every night. Good. I just did not have the energy anymore.

Smart.

I don't know. And early there, what's early? 2 or 3.

Oh, that's plenty time to call it.

No, but the club doesn't start till 1:30.

Yeah, yeah, every night I was just like, I'm done.

And what did he miss at the club?

Tell me. Well, I had an amazing time.

What did he miss?

Wait, wait, wait, say it.

The thing is, well, he would just Irish goodbye. And like, we, we go together and not— we don't really hang out that much when we're there, but like, I would like to know when my buddy is leaving, but he just fucking leaves.

Yeah, you shouldn't Irish goodbye Natalie.

I'm not leaving Natalie by herself. Natalie knows I'm with all my— Natalie's with like 20 people.

Oh, okay.

It's not, it's not like it's just me and Natalie at like a club in fucking Columbia.

You still should give her like a, I'm going, I have diarrhea, or something, you know, just like a a little, little goodbye because she is your buddy.

Yeah.

Um, she is your only— she's your number one out there.

I feel like I like kind of like gave her feelers. I think she, she could talk. I'm so drunk. Yeah, I don't know why. I just can't. I can't do— I can't drink. I don't know how. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just like impossible for me.

You never get drunk with me. I've never been drunk with you.

It's really sad. Yeah, I'm not like a fun— I'm not a fun drunk.

No, the worst.

I'm like actually like the worst kind of drunk ever. I just get like Really? I just get like, I don't, you know, like when people become aggressive when they're drunk.

Yeah.

I wish I had that. Like, like even any kind of ounce of energy to fucking hit somebody. I would love. But I like literally just like, I just fucking, I just want to go to bed. I just get so boring.

So like tired and just like, you don't get chatty a little bit even after a couple?

Fuck no.

No.

No, I do not get chatty. It's the opposite. I don't want to talk to anybody.

How many drinks did you have?

If somebody— I mean, throughout the night, probably like 12.

Oh, well, that's crazy. Of course you're going to be tired. You got to like, you know, pace yourself out.

No, no, I am pacing. I'm not like dizzy.

12 beers is too many for—

I'm just like, too many. Yeah, but like, dude, it was a fucking lot. It was a long run. We like started at 6 PM. Yeah. Okay. And then we went, you know, I went till 3 AM. Natalie got back. Just for our flight. Now they got back at like 7 AM. Yeah, that's because we had to be downstairs at 8 AM. Yeah, so she came back to pack. But if you didn't have to pack, how long would you have been out for?

No, I would have come home.

Really?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, the night was definitely over by 7 AM.

I hope so. I don't know, Vegas is tough. I met Travis Scott for the first time.

No, literally, all the hookers that were at the after party— that's really mean of me to say— but all the like ladies from the club or whatever, and then it's just like me with like a group of people.

Like, by the time it gets to like us, Natalie was at a strip club.

Yeah, I went to the strip club and then we all went back to this person's room after. And at this point I don't really know many people that are left. I'm just vibing and having a good time. And, um, and then when all— but that was, that was my cue because there was a girl that I was talking to that was talking to several of the men there and ended up leaving with— like, once she left, I was like, oh, like, like, what am I doing?

Yeah, right. Did you not feel the need to leave with one of the men? No. Do you not? You're like at 6 AM, you're not like, why am I out here if I'm not leaving with a man?

At 6 AM, I'm not. No, no, no.

Okay.

At 6, I'm like, what am I getting? I'm tired. I'm actually getting tired.

She went to Spearmint Rhino and I met the owner of Spearmint Rhino right before. Super cool dude. And I met him, obviously I was very nice. I was a medium regular person, so I was very kind. But then when he left and the guy was like, yeah, that guy owns Spearmint Rhino. I was like, bring that man back right now. I was like, I need to pay my respects. And then he came back and I was like, I'm so sorry, I had no idea who you were. You are the king of Las Vegas.

What did he say?

He just laughed. He, you know, he, uh, I mean, he knows, he knows that he's, uh, one of the, you know, the coolest guys in Vegas, obviously. I would, I would assume. But, um, as I was saying, I ran into Travis Scott. Remember we met him? It was really Interesting.

How is that?

Exactly how I imagined. It was just like we were walking in a hallway, like at F1, and Travis's buddy's like, yo, Travis, you ever met David Dobrik? And Travis looks at me and goes, wow. That was it.

I was like, okay.

It was really funny. I've always wondered that. I was like, how would that— interaction ever go? Because he does just seem like he's like always just like partying or like saying random things. Sure.

Or just on a different frequency than everyone else.

Different frequency is the best way to put it. There's a video I just saw him on TikTok. We went to Delilah and he was there with— he was there and John Mayer was performing.

Yeah.

And he's just like fucking head bopping to John Mayer.

Yeah.

And John Mayer was like—

Raging to John Mayer who's like on the acoustic guitar.

Fuck yeah, John! I love you!

I could do that.

Yeah, no, he's definitely on a different frequency. That was really cool. That's like one of those people that like You don't think you're going to be so mad when Natalie sneezes in the car.

What? Tay, have you ever been in the car and Natalie sneezes? That David loses his mind.

Yeah, Natalie's sneezing. It's weird.

There's nothing she can do about it. And then he'll yell, then she'll sneeze again. You'll be like, Natalie, I told you to stop! And it's like, she's— it's an involuntary action.

What? Me responding like that is also involuntary. I don't even know that I'm yelling anymore. It's just like The second I hear— yeah. What else? What else happened at Vegas? Have fun.

Walk us through it. What was like some of the nicer things that you got to do?

Had dinner with Jake Paul, which is nice.

Oh, great.

I asked him about his new— he bought this new— it was his dream to always buy this piece of farmland.

Yeah.

And he just bought it in a state. I keep forgetting. Georgia. Georgia. And it's so big. It's 15,000 acres of land. And I was asking him like, how long that would take him to drive across. And he said if you did it in like a grid way, so you went up to the right, up to the right, kind of like in a zigzag way. Yeah. Take you 81 miles.

Oh, wow.

To get across his entire land.

Damn.

It's kind of crazy.

What are you going to do with it?

He's got a lake there. It's all his. And he's like, you could do anything, which is kind of crazy to think about. Like I was saying, I was like, do your parents live there? And he's like, currently there's like 4 houses or whatever on the property.

Yeah.

And it's just crazy to think when you have that much land, like that much land, like 15,000 acres is ridiculous.

Yeah.

And he could just build another house. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Or like, yeah. Or a hotel or like, oh, his buddies, his buddies are coming in town. I'm going to build 5 houses.

Yeah. Fucking more like 500.

I know.

Yeah.

He could literally do anything. He could build his own town.

Would you ever do that? Would you ever buy a large chunk of land?

No, it doesn't interest you.

But I know I always know people that are like, I want to buy land.

What did he say? What did he say about his driveway? He had 140 miles per hour on it.

Yeah. His driveway, just the driveway alone is 3 miles long.

His driveway just goes straight to his house. It's 3 miles long.

Yeah.

So I asked him, I was like, well, I would not want to leave my house. How do you, do you Uber Eats things? What's going on? And he's like, well, a lot of times I'll Uber or I'll map a location, but it'll say it's a lot further away than it really is. Cause I'm going 120 down my driveway cause it's just my street. So it'll cut the time in half. So I think that's kind of interesting. That's kind of nice. I would actually really appreciate that if I like map things and then I would always save 10 minutes. Yeah, I kind of like that vibe. That's maybe why I would buy a Tesla.

And how's that go? You bump into Jake and you say, hey man, you want to get dinner? No, you added dinner.

It was a Celsius dinner.

Oh, you were added dinner.

I got you. Oh, I thought it was like, hey man, let's grab some dinner.

It's funny. That's like probably the second or third time I feel like in the past year that we've had a Celsius-related dinner with Jake.

Yes, I remember.

And he has— and like one of the most unexpected things, I feel like his take on Relationships and relationships is so funny because like when you think of Jake, like you think of just like, like he's a, he's a character, you know? But then he's like, he, he loves to give David advice on love, which I think is so funny.

That doesn't surprise me at all.

Yeah, yeah, I'm on the same page as him. Yeah, he's like, you can't find in LA. I'm like, done, got you, hear you.

Um, but it's funny because he's like, you, he's very much, you would think that he's very much in the scene in this like whole world of entertainment and Hollywood and all this like hoopla stuff. But he's like completely checked out and removed himself and is like, okay, I have my land, I have my woman, right? I'm going to have my family.

It's incredible. Really good setup. So that's what I— yeah, he says you have to find someone in Europe, which I mean, that's kind of what my parents have been saying all their life. So I just have to take a page out of their book.

Summer trip?

No, no trips. I'm like, I'm refusing to go anywhere.

You have them come here.

No, I like any opportunity I get to leave the country. Yeah, it's— I am full grandpa. I'm not leaving.

Well, are you going to go and find your bride in Europe?

Yeah.

No, Instagram.

Oh, I see.

Natalie's birthday's coming up.

Yeah.

What's the big plan?

There's no plan. This is actually probably the least prepared I've ever been for any of my birthdays.

Yeah, this is weird. I'm kind of nervous.

You always turn it fun, though.

Always.

Yeah, always, girl.

I know, but I have no plan. I'm telling you, I have no plan.

I mean, I would like to do— what would you be?

I would like to. I mean, I don't know. I'm like kind of exhausted, but I think just like a quick little trip to Cabo would do the trick, you know?

Oh my gosh, just to get like a quick little sex in?

No, no, no, no sexy time.

Really?

I feel like every time you go to Cabo you get laid. It's kind of— thank you. I feel like that's why you like it so much.

I think I've only been laid once in Cabo.

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Damn, you nailed it.

Thanks. That's a good question.

I have a question. So in your families, right, when you do Christmas gifts, do you guys make a list and then the presents are under the tree and you know what's in the presents? Do you do that charade? Or when you go to Christmas morning, are you like completely fucking surprised? Like you have no idea what you're opening? Because I had this huge argument with Naveen the other night, like how my family does it and how her family does it.

Um, I don't really do it like that anymore because my parents—

Well, when you were a kid.

Oh yeah, the best thing is to ask for a gift and hope it's under there. Yeah. That is the best feeling.

Right.

To hope your parents guess what you want is like absolute madness.

But what would they do?

What would they do?

Yeah, would they just—

If I didn't ask for anything?

Yeah, like, did you make a Christmas list?

Of course not, but I would ask for one thing that was uber expensive. Like PlayStation.

Right.

I'd love a PlayStation. Yeah. And when I got that PlayStation, oh my God, I can't even. It's like, just takes me back. There is genuinely nothing better.

Really?

There's nothing better. There's nothing better on earth than being a kid and opening a gaming console on Christmas Day. It's, I think, the equivalent to a girl opening a puppy. Also a guy opening a puppy.

You play it that day, huh? You play it that day.

Oh, and all fucking night.

Really? Did you never have a PlayStation before then?

No, dude.

Did you have like a Nintendo?

$250 or like $199. They were so fucking expensive, right? And, you know, your parents are like— your parents, they fucking— they got to get it. They know, they know, they know. Every parent knows you got to get the PlayStation if your kid asks for it, especially further out than like a month ahead of time. You got to get it for your kid and they'll play the whole, I'm not getting it, we can't get it, we can't get it this year. And then the second you rip open that box and you see a little bit of blue, Or the second you even see it wrapped, you already know. You already know. And your parents have to be smart and they have to make sure everything goes in the right order, right?

Like, don't do the big one first.

Yeah, you can't— huh?

Like, don't do the big one first.

Well, with PlayStation, you should do the big one first because then you start opening the little things like the game.

Yeah.

And like, I like that. But yeah, okay, sorry. So what was your perspective on this Christmas thing?

Well, I always made a Christmas—

I was like, uh, Stu, Nevine thinks it's crazy that Charlie opens the gifts And then like, she's like, she— it's like what she wanted. And he's like, well, why did you— why did you wrap them? Like, what was the charade?

Because she doesn't know if she's going to get them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you mean?

But yeah, but she's—

maybe in your world you do get your kids everything, so it's like a little bit different. But like when you're in— when you grew up like we did, there's a damn good chance it's not coming.

Yeah, no, for sure.

But I don't think there's a thing that Charlie could possibly ask you that you would say no to. Think about it. Think about it.

She actually doesn't ask for anything.

Exactly. Well, yeah, that's true. But imagine if she asked you for a Volkswagen Beetle.

Yeah.

You wouldn't get that, but you'd come right to me and you'd be like, "Charlie wants a Volkswagen Beetle for Christmas," and it would happen.

Right, right, right.

Without a doubt, it would happen.

'Cause I'm lucky I'm friends with you, but if, let's say, let's say you couldn't do it, you're like, "I can't do it, Jay." I'm incorporating that too, though. What's that?

I'm incorporating the idea that we're also friends.

Right.

Yeah, so I think that's what Naveen's looking for. Like, it's like maybe there isn't a mystery because you will get your kids anything no matter what it costs.

It's more what my sister will do, my sister and mother do when we get to Boston.

But yeah, wait, what do you mean what they do?

Well, it'll be like Charlie wants a Golf Wang hoodie. It'll be on the list. We'll all see the list.

Yeah.

And then she opens it up and she's like, Golf Wang!

I mean, like, how would Naveen possibly think that you should get gifts without, like, knowing what the people want?

Because she thinks her perspective was that's what love is. Yeah, not that's what love is, but like, how sweet is it? So sweet for you to go to Nordstrom and Natalie doesn't say anything and you go into Nordstrom and you're like, huh, this would look great on— this would look great on Tay. And you pick it out.

Oh, no, for sure.

Like, that's what she's saying. Like, that's so sweet.

Like, wow.

Like, you thought of me. You thought I would like this.

It's both.

It's both my extended family. Like, my immediate— like, my mom and my dad for Christmas. They get my list and they maybe get me a couple things on it. My extended family, like my aunts, uncles, grandparents, they go to Macy's or whatever and they think that this jewelry or this shirt or whatever is going to be perfect for me. And they're excited to give it to me and they watch me open it, even though whoever it is.

And how is it usually?

You know, usually not the greatest. Now I'm older, so now it's like this ongoing joke where they just get me the most random stuff.

Have you ever gotten a gift and you had to fake it, Dave? Everything you've given me, Jay.

I mean, I'm pretty excited about like anything my parents are gonna be like, socks.

Even from like a friend, like let's say, yeah, let's say it's like a business person and they like get you something and you don't like it, you have to fake it.

Yeah, I mean, that you probably know more so, like I've gotten something and I'm like, what the fuck is this?

I'm sure. I don't— I can't think of an example, not that I want to call anybody out on there.

I don't want to call anybody out, but I'm sure there's been moments where people have gifted me like things they've made. So like, like, like an artist will make like a piece of art, right? And like, that's— I would never like not be appreciative of that because it's like hard work. There's definitely been like moments like, fuck, this thing sucks.

Oh my God.

Oh my God, this is fucking insane.

Oh my God, you know who's like— who does this? My dad. My dad, we all— we always send a Christmas list and we're all girls and we're very particular, right? Like the things that we like and things that we don't like. And my dad God bless him, loves to spoil us. And so he'll go to Nordstrom my last birthday and I feel bad. Every single one of us returns his gifts every single Christmas and they're nice. He got me this Valentino bag for Christmas. It's the one gift that he got.

That's so hard to shop for a girl though.

It's so hard to shop for a girl.

But he loves to go out and he loves to watch us open it. That's so sweet. No, it's so sweet. But he, But I feel like he also knows that we're gonna return it every time.

But I think it's like, it's his version of getting you a gift card and just be like, no, I went out and got you more than a gift card.

No, I think he really would love like—

he got you a Valentino bag?

Yeah, like this like studded Valentino bag. He got my stepmom like knee-high leather boots because he thinks it'd be sexy to see her in it, and she's like, I'm never gonna fucking wear these, are you like crazy?

My mom got me like a Lego watch. It's a watch made out of Legos. Yeah, it's like a $20 thing that you get on Amazon. And I really did like it. I was like, this is cool because I'm like, that was last year. I just got into watches. I was like, this is sick. Like, it's a Lego watch. It's really cool. It functions too.

It sounds like something you'd love.

Yeah. And I did actually like it. And like, you did? Yeah. And then she like, she just like, literally last week she found it like in a drawer and it was in the box and she goes, Why didn't you just give it back to us if you didn't like it? And like, I never thought about it that way because there's so much stuff that comes through here, right? Then I'm like, and I've just spoiled myself with the little trinkets I get myself. It's a Snapchat. So like, that's— I'm like, no, I actually liked it. Like, I'm sorry it's sitting in the box and not on my wrist.

I hate when I give you— I hate when I give you a gift because you're such a good actor that I, I like— I'm always like, oh, I don't know.

Um, I don't think you've ever gotten me anything where I didn't like it.

Okay.

Like, I mean, what have you gotten me?

I don't know. I got you something.

The Shelby and Sandy painting I liked.

I wasn't sure if you liked it. I was like, oh no.

Oh no, I love that.

Just little things for stupid stuff.

Give me a little stupid thing. I'll tell you honestly if I ever actually liked it.

The Cybertruck. You're like, stupid.

Oh, dumb.

Okay.

The Cybertruck.

I got him this little like rotate— I went to Tesla and I got him like a rotating Cybertruck.

Oh, that's how— no, no, that's cool.

Oh, you like that?

I was talking about when you brought the Cybertruck.

Oh yeah, I know that. I know you don't care about that. Well, that was funny because you had one in the driveway.

Yeah, that's why I said it was dumb.

I was like, I'm going to make a video. My friend's like, I have a Cybertruck. He's like, let's go take it around to all your friends. It'll be fun. I'm like, oh, that sounds like an easy, great video. Perfect video for me. Yeah, I fucking go to everybody's house and it's going well. Everyone's like, oh, this is sick. People are making jokes. I'm getting a lot of good jokes. This is great. And I bring it to David's house. He's fucking Cybertruck in the driveway.

That's really funny. That's my Cybertruck too. It's the one I owned.

Wait, do you remember when Joe used to come over and do What's in My Trunk and how mad you would get?

I mean, whenever Joe would come over and try to film anything, I would get mad. Yeah. What was—

Natalie would get mad. Ilya was furious. It was the best.

No one would win.

I was telling Naveen the other night, I was like, Joe used to come over at Christmas. He'd try to do a Christmas video and Taylor was there and it would lead up to Christmas. It would be like every week for like 8 weeks and he'd come over and he'd be like, it's time to play What's in My Trunk. And then he'd wait and we'd all go out to the driveway It was a perfect Joe video because it didn't ask much of any of us. And we'd all— there was one expensive gift in the trunk.

Oh yeah.

And it was like a Cartier bracelet. And we tried for week after week.

We had to guess what it was.

Yeah. And everyone could pick a present. And most of the time the present—

he opens the trunk and you see 10 gifts, all different shapes and sizes. They're all wrapped.

Yeah.

And everyone gets one turn to pick one. You can't even lift it or something, right?

Nope. You can't touch it.

The second you touch it, it's yours.

Yeah. And no one got it, and no one ever got it. We played like, we played like 5 or 6 times. He got so many videos out of it, and every time you and Ilya— Ilya was so mad. Fuck you, Joe!

Fuck you!

It was supposed to be like a fun Christmas video. I was dying.

Oh, that's funny.

It was so fun.

I didn't realize that none of us ever got it.

Yeah, and then I did, I did a version, What's in My Trunk, and everybody won, and he was so pissed. Do you remember that?

Oh, that's really funny.

Yeah.

What's now— what's something I've gotten you that you didn't like? Um, nothing.

Okay, well, I mean, what have you gotten me other than like my two amazing cars?

You're really good with gifts. Like, I was even talking to Jack the other day. I was sitting with Jack at dinner when— and you got him the truck. Oh, the truck was insane.

Does he like the truck, David? I think he said about it better than Bella.

No, I, I— but, and just like, he's like, the color, the look of it. Like, you're really good with gifts. You also have a lot of help. Oh yeah, but still, I do really like the fact that you found out that color, that truck.

Well, I didn't know he wanted that color. I like that color.

Oh, I like that color too.

But for him, if I was genuinely thinking through his eyes, yeah, I would have gotten like black. But no, I was like, I want blue, and I just, I really needed—

Do you have to get— do you have to dole out a lot of money for Christmas gifts for people? Like, do you have to give like the postman money? Do you have to give, like, do you do that?

Postman?

Well, like a lot of people.

Oh, that's interesting. We should do that.

A lot of people who have, you know, a big house where a lot of people work there all year.

Yeah, it's bonus season, baby.

Bonus season. Yeah.

Buckle up, buddy.

We don't do those here.

We are dishing out big bonuses.

What do you do? Do you get—

you want a bonus or are you good this year? See that? Your bonus just got doubled, Tay, because that was a test. That was a test.

Do you get gifts for Alex and John? And do you get gifts for your mom?

No, dude, I don't like talking about gifts in here because fucking Ilya made me get him gifts for his birthday. He— remember when he fucking pulled that shit to me?

No, what happened?

He was like, he was like, let's start getting each other like nice gifts like for our birthday. And I was like, I don't know, dude, like we don't do birthdays. I don't really do birthdays with anybody. I'm just like, it's just— let's just keep it that way.

Yeah.

And he begged me. He's like, let's do them, please. Let's do them, please. Let's do them. I was like, okay, fine. And he's like, it'll be funny. We'll like up each other every year. It'll get bigger and bigger.

I remember.

Yeah, I got him fucking Rolex first year. Nothing. He called it off. He called it off. He called it off. What'd he say?

That was the most fucking—

call him, call him, call him.

He, he—

okay, so funny.

And he called it off and he was like, he was like, I don't remember saying that, which was crazy.

This is crazy. There's a light reflecting off the Rolex into your eye.

And I've like begged him. I was like, dude, please, can you at least just finish it so we're even? Like, give me whatever. Yeah. And, um, yeah, he just refuses. Oh, it's only 6:30. That's why he's rejecting my call.

I gotta get Naveen something. Fuck.

I know, I have to do all my Christmas shopping.

So hard.

Yeah, it's so hard. Like, what she deserves or what I can afford, you know?

Do you want to go to Cabo with me this weekend? Yes, I'll take her.

Okay, gift done. We're going to Cabo. We're not going to Cabo. You and Natalie are going with Natalie's sister.

I bought a new TV yesterday. Yeah, you know, I like to splurge because how much it costs, I like to splurge. Um, wait, hold on, hold on. Okay, it's a Samsung. Okay, Ultra High Def. Yeah, Smartizen TV, crystal UHD, 98 inches.

Okay, you always get mad at me when I do the guessing game.

Okay, 98 inches. Fucking huge. My TV out here right now is 89 inches.

$1,500.

Oh my God, spot on.

I know TVs have come down like crazy though, right?

Like it used to be— like insane. $1,500 for a 98-inch TV?

My ex-wife's boss had a 98-inch TV like 15 years ago and I think it was like $10,000.

At least, at least $10,000. This is so cheap. I bought two.

What do you have out there now?

Uh, uh, you have an 80?

Oh, 98 is nice. Is it still gonna hang off the wall though?

I bought, um, yes, it's gonna hang off the wall. I bought two and I like, I texted my group chat about it because I was really excited. I go, I just ordered two of the 98-inch ones. He goes, bro, for what? I said, IDK, but you can have the one from my room. It was a great purchase, Dave.

Um, but yeah, that's nice. Hand-me-down TV.

Crazy. Hand-me-down TVs are the best because you never need a new TV.

There's nothing wrong.

Like genuinely, you need a new TV once every like 10 years, maybe. I don't know.

What do you want for Christmas?

Hold on, Ilya's calling me. I'm gonna— we're talking about gift giving and we're talking about how you set up something where we were gonna get each other expensive gifts for our birthdays. And then can you finish the rest just so like we're on the same page here? What happened?

Yeah, and then like you forgot to get me a gift. So then I didn't get you a gift the following year.

That's not what happened.

I honestly don't— I think I definitely owe you a gift.

Oh.

And I also don't think we said expensive. I think we just said gifts, no?

We said like big gifts. Like you said, you were like, let's try for gifts.

Yeah, I would love to get you gifts. If I had the money, dude, I'd be getting you gifts fucking not only for your birthday, but—

But that's not my problem. My problem is You said we should get each other gifts, and then you bailed on me. And when it came around to my birthday and you got him a Rolex and I got you the Rolex, I did get you a gift. I got you Salmons shoes, sneakers.

Okay.

Do those count?

Those are expensive.

I mean, I guess it depends on like the stipulations, like at the time of Rolex.

And dude, you got suckered. That's the greatest scam of all time.

I'm going to try that.

All right. Thanks, Phil.

Dave, let's do that with each other.

Yeah.

What do you want for Christmas if you have anything? And like the budget, anything, doesn't have to be a— could be a Rolls-Royce. Really? Yeah, like the one with the star ceiling.

Yeah.

Okay, but be real, you'd drive it, you'd love it, you'd like it, you'd drive it around. Like, if it appeared in the driveway, you'd be like, fuck yeah!

Oh yes, you would. I would be ecstatic.

Really?

Yeah. So, and it's— and I want a white— you'd use it white with a fun color inside. The only reason I want a Rolls-Royce as a gift is because I think it is Well, one, wildly expensive. I don't want to put my money into that. And I just think it's like too big of a mobster car to buy for yourself. Like, I don't want to buy that car for myself. I don't— like, it's like too much of a flex. Like, the Ferrari feels so good because Corinna bought it for me, right? But yeah, if I get any gift—

I thought you're gonna say world peace, but okay, Rolls-Royce.

Okay, let's, let's see, Jay, would you There could be world peace. Yeah, world peace, or you—

nobody's fighting, even like little fights at school between children, bullies and stuff, over. Yeah, that kind of world peace. Yeah, I'll take world peace.

Over a billion dollars?

Billion dollars. That's a tough one. That's a tough one.

Really?

Yeah, because I have to think about you guys.

I should think about my own peace.

I have to think about all the people in my life, like, like Dave. Like, if I was a billionaire, I'd come in here and I'd be like, Dave, we can go anywhere.

No, no, obviously that question I think is very easily you choose world peace, no questions asked.

Yeah, yeah.

But let me paint it for you even differently that's tougher. No one knows that you got that opportunity to do it. Like, you choose world peace, no one will ever know. You just did world peace.

Right, right, right, right.

But if you get the billion, you can help a lot of people. You can't, not as many people as world peace. No, exactly. But no one will ever know that you're actually a fucking douche. 'Cause you could have helped so many more people. What would you do, you sick fuck?

If I'm being honest?

Yeah.

What would you do?

World peace.

Of course, of course. Bullshit.

Yeah, I swear to God.

Bullshit.

Jay, if God—

You're already rich.

If God came down and—

Let's ask Alex.

If God came down and gave me that option, I would have— like, the level of guilt for not choosing— I also don't know what world peace means. Like, what is that? I think solving world hunger is better, but that's even easier. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. World peace for sure.

Well, I guess you're a better man than me, David.

You take the bill?

Fuck yeah.

I don't think you would. You definitely wouldn't if it came down.

You don't think so?

No, no. I genuinely don't think anybody would. I just like—

Imagine you and Natalie are trying to— you're like, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to take the billion. You're like, what the fuck? You're trying to convince me? Jay, you can't do that. I'm like, why? You gave me a choice.

What do you want, Jay?

What do I want? Yeah, I don't want anything. I mean, I'm not like— I haven't thought about it. I'd love a new pair of shoes, new pair of running shoes. That would be good. That's what I'm going to ask Naveen to get me. I'm not telling you to get me that.

No, I'll call Siki.

Dave, the shoes are only $150.

You get a $200,000 brand deal. And I got Jason these hookahs.

That's really funny.

What do you want, Nat?

Uh, I don't know. I feel like I'm really hard to shop for too.

I'd love jeans.

I just like— I mean, yeah, like, I'll take anything, but I just— I don't need anything, you know?

That's not— $20 million.

Okay.

Or you let the Lakers run a train on you. No, I'm kidding.

Obviously $20 mil.

$20 mil. $20 million or the actual real, not fabricated, the real love of your life shows up?

Ooh, love of my life for sure.

Really? Yeah.

Like I get, I'm keeping, I keep my life right now and I have the love of my life.

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

$20 million USD tax-free.

Well, the love of my life also happens to be a billionaire. No, no, no, no.

It's not like that.

No, no, not a billionaire, but like, I'm not, it's not like I'm just like, no, he can't be love of your life and he's poor.

No, no.

Yeah. Love of your life and he's love of your life and he's broke and he's got student debt.

Well, that's— and he has two kids named Charlie and Wyatt. No, no, no, no, no. He's got— yeah.

Like we're on the same level, obviously. If those— if he's the love of my life, then like—

no, Nat, you'd love him because he is who he is. Okay. I can't say that.

And he's got bad credit.

It's a gamble. It's a gamble. It could very well be guy who has absolutely no money, but he treats you with the most kindness, like holds you to the highest pedestal.

Like, okay.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Could also be kind of a little bit of a douche, but it has a lot of money. His name's David.

I wish David could get both.

I just really feel like I'm not missing money.

Great. Okay, great. What dollar amount would you flip for on the other side of that? Probably like 50, right?

Maybe 100, probably for sure.

Dude, you're literally crazy. $50 million doesn't mean you won't find the love of your life. It just means maybe you'll have to wait another 3 or 4 years.

Oh, I thought that was like the ultimatum.

It's like, yeah, I did too.

You're rich and you don't get the love of your life.

That's what I thought you meant.

Oh, no.

Oh, okay.

Oh, well, yeah, then I'll take $20 million and then just fucking find him in a couple years.

But you also run the possibility of never finding him.

$20 million, you gotta go on the stream right now and bend over and show everyone the inside of your asshole.

Go on a stream?

Yeah, $20 mil.

For sure.

You'd do it? Yeah.

Yeah, $20 million USD, I have to bend over and show my asshole? Yeah, 100%.

Even if it's all hairy and stuff?

Stuff. Especially— I— yeah, I wouldn't care.

You wouldn't care?

Don't sneeze. You don't actually have to sneeze. Don't look at the light. Now you block the light.

Stop, you fucker! I hate when you do this to me all day.

The sneeze isn't coming anymore. It's gone. Damn it, it's dark in here. There's no light.

You just waved your hand over the ceiling. You're gone. You just turned the light off.

20 million and you have to walk to Boston.

I'd fucking do that for 20 mil.

Yeah.

Oh, 100%. I walk across the country for 20 mil. Yeah, yeah, because I would just take the next year off.

Do me a favor, I don't have to—

I get to quit my job. I just have to take a few thousand steps and I get $20 million at the end of the year.

All right, which way would you go? You go through New Mexico? I guess you can't go through the Rockies.

I'll figure it out.

All right, no hitchhiking.

Can we try an exercise in here?

Sure.

Okay, do me a favor, everyone, everyone in the room, even if you don't have a mic, raise your hand.

Okay, okay.

All right, now raise it even higher. Now tell me why you didn't put that same amount of effort in the first time. That's pretty good.

You would have been the worst teacher.

Motivational video like that. But I'm not gonna lie, Jay, when I first said put your hand up, your hand went up as high as it possibly could. I was like, oh my God, this almost doesn't work. It's kind of, it's kind of a metaphor for Jason, how he really is working his ass off.

I'm trying, I'm trying.

He's trying.

I really am.

Damn, that's really funny. No, I saw that on TikTok.

That's pretty good.

Yeah, but then all the comments were like, what? Because you just asked them to raise your hand. Like, who gives a fuck? So it kind of— fucking Gen Z. Yeah, those guys will hate on anything.

What do you think of Gen Z?

I don't even know what generation I am, so I can't comment.

You're Gen Z. Oh, what?

I thought maybe you're—

maybe you're a millennial. You're not Gen X.

You're a millennial. Are you boomer? I'm Gen X. Oh, what's a boomer?

Boomer's even older.

That's not even a generation though, right? That's just like baby boomers.

People were born during the baby boom in like the '40s. My mom's a baby. You like that show I Love L.A.?

I think it's funny. That's because I understand every reference they make though, you know, because I live here.

I get all the references.

You live here?

Yeah. Oh, I thought you were being like, I'm young, I get it.

No, I know what— I know where they're at in the show. I know what they're talking about.

Like, you know, I think the acting's good.

I love Rachel. I think she's really funny.

$20 million.

Why'd you call her Rachel like you knew her?

$20 million, you gotta tie your penis to Alex for 7 days.

I love Rachel. Hold on, I can't get over what Ally said now. Can you please respond to my comment?

Her name is Rachel.

I know, but there's no way you said it.

Well, I was also trying to get to my sneeze.

Okay, because I was gonna say, don't you have to go? You don't know Rachel. You seen Interstellar?

Yeah.

I love Matthew.

I know, that is funny. I assume she knew her.

Like, yeah, 100%.

I assume she knew her.

The fuck is that?

That is a funny thing that people do. Yeah, that's a great way. That's a great way to make people think you're better than you are.

I mean, it's— yeah, if we were— if we were in the— if we were in a room with LA people, I'd be like, uh, I'd definitely call her out. You would be like, are you just trying to sound like you're better than everybody? Yeah, I love Rachel.

Did you see Kevin Hart's new special? Oh yeah, Kevin's so funny. Funny.

So good. Yeah, I love when people say that.

But you do know Kevin Hart in LA.

In— and it doesn't work. I go, yeah, Kevin is really funny. Um, K-Hart is hilarious.

Uh, I, um, K-Dog.

That happens in LA a lot. Yeah, I mean, it's— and that's not even like— that's not even like an overstatement. Like, it's like— it happens all the time.

It happens in Boston too. My family does that.

I am having a hard time though with one person.

Yeah.

And I want to keep calling him his first name.

Yeah.

But I don't know if to refer to him as his DJ name. And it's, it's the most like L.A. dispute I have in my head because I want to call him his real name, but I don't want to sound like I'm trying to sound like I know him. Oh, I'm talking about Zedd.

Yeah, you do know him.

Yeah.

What's his real name?

Anton.

Oh, yes, I knew that.

But do you know what I mean? Do you get that problem with him too?

I thought you were going to say like Diplo and West.

No, I call Diplo Diplo. Yeah, because Diplo is just like so easy.

It's like I'm on that show I Love L.A. all of a sudden.

But no, because everyone calls him Wes.

Sure.

But for some reason, I think Diplo just rolls off the tongue way more.

Yeah.

But like, Zed feels so bizarre to call a person.

Yeah, it feels very character-y.

It feels very character-y.

Hey Diplo, call me Wes. Does that ever do that? Hey Zed, call me Anton.

I don't think so. I also don't think I'm going up to him and calling him anything, but like if I refer to him in the third person, sure. I'm always saying Diplo.

That is awkward, huh? Yeah, but when you're, when you're with the, the DJ's name, that is funny. What do you say? Hi Marshmello.

I don't like— yeah, what do you say? Hey Marshmello.

You say Mello?

Well, I— people call him Mel. I mean, his real name's Chris.

No, people call, people call Marshmello Chris. They call him Marshmello Chris.

No, they do not.

Wait, what?

Who calls him Marshmello Chris?

People call Marshmello comma Chris. There he is. Marshmallow Chris. No, no, no, no, no. People call him Chris. Yeah, that one's normal. Marshmallow is so crazy because you can't be like, Marshmallow. That is really funny. Oh wow, we totally sound like we're on the show. Yeah, joking around how we can't call Marshmallow.

It's a call to Marshmallow.

Let's go to Canyon Coffee. Let's go get Aaron. So LA.

Yeah, no, no.

Do you think—

but wait, that is a really big thing in LA though. It's like, it's like you'll be talking about— oh fuck— you'll be talking about Pirates of the Caribbean.

Yeah.

And then someone will go, I love Orlando.

Yeah.

And then they'll pause. And like, then the room will pause too because you'll be like, okay, do we ask?

It's really funny.

And you, you should ask. Ask. This is just like, just not make things awkward, just entertain that person. Oh, do you know Orlando? Yes, I do.

Thank God you asked, I was about to combust.

Yeah, if you don't, if you don't say that, yes I do, if you don't say that, they'll just keep bringing it up. That's, that's LA 101.

What else happens out in LA?

Yeah, I have—

I like this, I like those little things like LA things, like, what about cars? People, people would flex their cars.

I don't know, I feel like, like I'm in Sherman Oaks, like I'm in the Valley, like I'm pretty like tucked away from my—

what about when you go out though? What's that like? It's a big scene that people pull up in like Rolls-Royces.

I just like haven't— like when I first moved here when I was 18, 19, I was not like, I'm gonna fucking put my dick in your fucking nose. Genuinely, please, for the love of God, stop sneezing.

The poor girl can't. Stop.

No, it's enough.

She can't stop.

She's allergic to you. How many sick days do we get a year again?

Zero. I told you, you get one every year.

Call in sick on your birthday, it'll fucking infuriate him.

Call in sick on my birthday?

Yeah, cuz he won't be able to make content with you.

Natalie, dude, Natalie has asked me about her birthday 10 times cuz she knows I would get the jet to Cabo. I've never been more involved in a birthday.

It's because we have a vlog next week. We haven't had a Birthday. Oh, fuck it.

Let's go to Cabo. We have to get a jet, but let's go for a vlog.

That's a jet.

That's actually really fun. I'll pay my own way to Cabo because Naveen needs a vacation.

Okay, good, because there's only 13 seats on the jet. That's the only reason we didn't do this yet.

We want to invite much more cooler people on the jet. That's fine. I'll walk there.

I have a bit idea. Do you want me to say what the bit idea is?

I love when we talk bits on the show. I don't know if it's too inside for people, but it's my favorite.

I think people like it.

Okay.

And people have people have like seen a bit come to life now, like 2 or 3 times. I feel like that's fun. I see the comments in the videos and I'm like, oh, um, the bit I have is very basic, but I just don't think I've ever seen it like actually properly, properly done, um, in like a fun way rather than like, I'm an explorer, but like, I'd love to spin a globe, not a world, or not like a world map, spin a globe and have Natalie throw a dart, like a metal dart. Okay, and then like while the globe is still spinning, we're all like around the globe just like wondering where it hit. Yeah, and then deadass ourselves that no matter where it is, unless it's the ocean, then we rethrow. Okay, no matter where it is, deadass.

That's great.

We have to go there to celebrate.

Do you go?

Yeah.

Oh great, I thought you just—

A whole group of us has to go.

A whole group of us go. We get on a plane and we go.

Great.

And I don't know, expensive trip. I think it's a really fun idea because I feel like I've never seen it I don't know. I feel like I've seen— you've seen it, like versions of it done, right? Like you've seen like a— no, I've seen that.

Like, I think it was like an Ashley— Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movie.

Yes. And TV shows maybe.

Yeah.

Where it's not real.

I've never seen it in real life.

Yeah. But if you get Indiana— what if you get Indiana?

Well, that's the shitty part.

Also, the good news is that we've thought about this enough and it's like most likely it's going to land around the equator.

Yeah.

Because of how the globe is.

Oh, great. So like, We're going to Kenya.

Caribbean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were joking.

I would fucking love if it ended up on Kenya. I'd love Kenya.

See elephants.

Oh, Kenya. Kenya's— that's like the dream pick.

Yeah, sure. Like, it's just far.

Yeah, something like that is the dream pick. What's going to suck is if it— yeah, Indiana, which is still funny. Still got its own funny to it. Yeah.

Encino. Encino.

No, genuinely, I thought about doing that joke because Illya didn't want to leave for his birthday. So I was like, should we do it but fake it? It lands right on Illya's house. Um, but no, I really want to do it for real, and I think it'd be really fun. We were joking about how, like, Natalie tries to hit the North Pole. She, like, lobs up the dart so it lands right on the top because I've always wanted to go to the North Pole. Because, like, right now I'm like, okay, we'll probably— we'll get to go to somewhere warm.

Tell me about the North Pole. It's difficult.

Well, just because Santa's—

it's difficult.

Santa security.

All right.

Um, I don't really know what the point of the North Pole is. I also don't— is there a point that says you're at the North Pole?

I think so.

Yeah, I'm sure there's— oh, is there like a— I feel like there is like a candy cane there. No, like 100%, right? Yeah, there has to be.

Yes.

You mean like Greenland? Is that the North Pole?

No, I think it's like— I'm sure it's like islands like made up. And I think there is like a thing that—

wait, what is the North Pole?

It's just— it's water. I don't think it's like an actual—

what do you mean? It's not ice?

Wow. Wait, okay, so there is actually just the ocean. There is a marker in the ocean that reads North Pole 90 North. That's pretty fucking sick.

North of Greenland.

And then there's also a candy cane sign there that has a bunch of things sticking out of it that say— it says North Pole, and then it goes Madrid to the right, 5,500 miles away. Paris to the right, 4,500. New York, 5,400 to the left. So that's pretty cool. So there is like—

where is that though?

There is in Greenland. It's in the North Pole, Natalie. What do you mean, David?

There's no North Pole, Natalie.

But there is. It's just water or like a piece of ice.

Is it floating in the water?

Sometimes it's floating in the water and sometimes it's like tethered to ice. I think it just depends.

Oh, it's like in the middle of the ocean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it.

I'm thinking like Antarctica.

Also, I think there's different versions of the North Pole. There's a North Magnetic Pole, there's a North Geomagnetic Pole, and then there's the geographic North Pole. That's I think what you're looking for. But your compass would still point in one direction.

Okay, history.

I history teacher.

Okay, like, what would be cool if there was a part in the North Pole where, like, if you walk in a circle, your compass kind of rotates? Wait, no, when you don't walk in a circle—

God, I wish we had video for that little moment right there. Is Dave just moving his head in the tiniest little circle with his eyes rolling around?

Um, all right guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you for everybody that joined us. Alex Newman is sitting here in the room. Book him for his DJ shows. Jason Nash is also sitting in the room. He was the older guy talking. And that's it. It's me and Taylor, and that was the whole pod.

Wow.

What?

Oh, I was just— I was chilling.

Okay. Yeah, we'll see you guys later. Go follow Natalie.

Wow, thank you.

Of course, I got you. Bye.