Posting Nudes to Pay for My Lamborghini

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. A lot of people upset with me. A lot of people have been messaging me. Well, by a lot I mean like a couple dudes. They said you're a pussy. Well, this is exactly what they're saying. If you do not go and have that threesome for science, you are the biggest pussy. I like these pods because it's like, I like that we did that 2 days ago and now I get to talk about it.

Yeah, it's like an immediate follow-up.

It's immediate follow-up. It almost feels like we're like daily podcasting. It's kind of cool.

Yep.

But yeah, people very upset.

What do you think about that?

I think they're right.

You think so? Now what do you think?

I think sometimes you have to do things even if you don't want to do them.

It was kind of crazy how everything sort of was like aligning, you know? I don't think that David needs to go have a threesome with random people.

The Chicago connection.

The Chicago connection.

Technically, isn't everybody random? You're always gonna have threesome with random people.

No, wait, what? They're not random. They're from Chicago.

Okay. See, good point. They're hometown friends. This is so fun. Someone also, I didn't screenshot this comment, but someone just said, you just had the best trilogy of sex podcasts of all time because our last 3 pods have been perfect. It was like intro to Sexomnia, then Sexomnia Continued. And then we fucking brought it full circle. Revenge of the Sith, third episode. Yeah. Threesome.

Yeah.

We have a guy that does glory holes.

I guess you should just follow through, right? If that's like the pattern that we're following, it feels like you kind of have to.

The only way I would like want to do it is if I brought the podcast equipment in and I was like walking everyone through it. But is that too much?

Yeah, you should just go and report back.

Really?

Yeah, I think so.

I feel like it was a thing that was birthed on the pod.

Yeah.

So it needs to be followed through on the pod.

Yeah, I can see that.

Yeah. And I don't think— I'm not saying like you're going to, you know, it's just like, it's just like when my friends looked inside my asshole for my hemorrhoids.

Sure, sure.

I think you're going to bring the mics in like during the activities. Yeah. So then I think we can all commentate.

We'll give you a boom mic and you'll go in and stand over what's happening.

And like, David's socks are coming off now.

Wow. I can't wait.

Or more so, it's probably going to be like David refuses to take off his socks.

Yeah.

The girls are pulling at his feet. He says he's kicking one in the nose.

David's opening a bag of Gardettos now for no reason. I don't know why he's choosing to eat right now.

David's starting to whimper and cry in the corner. Yeah, that would be a really good play-by-play. Have you ever cried after sex, Jay?

Sure.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For what reason?

Just like you're so in love. What?

So in love?

Yeah, of course.

Oh, wow.

Like I wanted to have sex with Nevine for so long, and then when I finally did it, I was just like overcome with emotion.

Overcome. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You cried because you had— wait, what?

Yeah, of course.

I don't—

you never been like so in love with somebody? You're like, oh my God, I can't believe this person's here to cry.

Um, yeah, but like not after sex. Like, that feels like a really weird— like, like that's what did it for you? Yeah, like I've definitely cried over someone I love just because I'm laying and cuddling and holding them.

Well, it wasn't—

but like not after like, I just fucked you. This is amazing. Tears streaming down my— tears stream.

Well, you're saying it, I think you said it like cry after sex, like you're saying it like you had a bad time, but that hasn't happened. But I guess I'm crying more about the person, not about the sex.

No, I'm saying like you almost like you have feelings for someone else. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Or you still haven't gotten over someone and you're crying.

Okay, well that's your experience.

I'm just like digging myself a hole here.

That's valid.

Matt, have you ever done that?

No, absolutely not.

Oh yeah, right, it's weird.

Don't cry.

This is also something that—

Don't cry after the threesome, man. Don't make us look bad. Please hold it together.

I wouldn't.

Okay.

But I have performance anxiety. I'm not good. I'm like one of those guys that can't pee, like in a urinal. Oh yeah. I'm also, I overthink sex. Like I'm just not good at it. I just, I really do not like it.

You would think with all your athletic prowess and the way you got yourself in shape, you'd be really good at sex.

It's not the athleticism. It's the lack of musical talent. It's no rhythm. And the moment I think I have rhythm, I'm like, oh my God, I have rhythm. I lose it.

Yeah, really?

Because I overthink it. I mean, isn't that like a big part of like sex is like kind of like—

yeah, you got to be in sync with the other person and you kind of have to like, uh, yeah, you have to just like move together.

I don't know, move together. Like, that's, that's what I'm trying to say. I'm just saying like you have to like be on top of it, no pun intended. Like you have to go boom boom boom boom. You can't—

I found myself to be less concerned with what's going on with the other person and that's a good, good Good way to go.

Less concerned with what's going on with the other person?

Yeah.

Like you just don't care?

I don't know. I've always found that I'm just like kind of doing what I want to do and that, and you know, they'll let you know if it's wrong.

Yeah. I really like people that like will talk you through it. That's like, oh, you're like, when Allie and I have sex, she'll like, right, she'll be like, a little to the left, a little to the left.

We have a meeting tomorrow at 12.

Um, but yeah. And then I also got some DMs about, so somebody told me, hey David, I'm a big fan of your podcast. I wanted to provide more details about the moon landing to reinforce its reality. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Who cares?

So somebody on my side? Yeah, please, like, can we hear it, please?

Okay, whatever.

Just sort of briefly.

I. Okay. In addition to China and other countries, it just doesn't matter what they say.

Okay. But let's just hear the other side of it.

You're right. I'm being you right now. In addition to China and other countries spacecraft imaging the Apollo landing sites, the US Left retro reflectors on the on the lunar surface installed by the Apollo 11, 14, and 15 missions, which scientists still use to bounce lasers off of for precise measurements. We also brought— which also— so hold on, I feel like that could be placed there without a manned object. We also brought back 842 pounds of moon rocks and soil from the Apollo missions, which have been studied extensively and confirmed to be of lunar origin, distinct from Earth materials. The Soviet Union's lunar program even retrieved small samples that Hopefully SpaceX will— hopefully with SpaceX reusable rockets, which cut down costs, we'll be able to return and build a base there and on Mars in the near future. Okay, everything this person said, cool, whatever. First of all, I could argue this in two ways. One, were you there? Do you have the lunar rocks in your hand? Do you know that they're lunar rocks?

It's been studied by scientists.

That's fucking— you're just reading things on a fucking page. Like, I literally— I mean, I've gotten to the point in my life where like I'll read anything.

Yeah, nothing.

No headline ever unless it's like guy runs over 5 people and you're like, the news reporters are there. Like, unless it's caught on video.

Sure.

And it's clear as fucking day.

Well, think about— think about— I understand that's valid. Like, it's like, okay, yeah, we're in that— we're in the world of— we're in that day of misinformation. So that's valid. But think about like when you were a kid and there was no internet and you were like learning stuff in school and stuff was documented, and doesn't that bring value to it?

What do you mean? Does that—

in other words, if the studies were done before the internet and stuff like that, don't you believe them to be true?

No. What, you think misleading people is a thing of the internet? It's been, it's been as—

well, it is—

it's a tale as old as time. I feel like people have been making things up like forever. Yeah, I mean, what do you mean? That's, it's just like, okay, all right, starting a rumor.

You don't believe it?

No, I'll leave it there. I'm just saying there are a lot of people on my side though, Jay, like when we were arguing about— okay, a lot of people were like, Jay has has to open up his mind.

So, okay, I'm gonna open up my mind today. Let me do it.

Is there anything you should—

do you want to definitely have that three-way?

Okay, can I, can I ask you one more conspiracy question?

Yes.

Okay, how do you feel about 9/11? Oh, hold on, we may have a special guest here, Jay.

Oh nice, who's a special guest?

I don't know. Karina, you're on the podcast.

I got caught up in traveling and I forgot to say happy birthday.

Oh, Karina, I was gonna text you the nastiest text later today. So you're happy?

You probably didn't even remember that I didn't say happy birthday because you You don't care about me enough, to be honest.

Okay, that's fucked up, but I really appreciate it. Is this you telling me happy birthday?

Yeah, I'm currently on the waters in, uh, I don't know where I am right now.

In Tuscany?

She's on the moon.

Sweden.

You're in Sweden? Oh, you're on the Ritz—

I'm on a cruise, you wanna see?

Yeah, wait, you're on the Ritz-Carlton cruise? Guys, I know this is a FaceTime that Corinna's doing with me right now, so I'll describe it. Oh my God.

Oh, it's Ritz-Carlton cruise.

So she's on the Ritz-Carlton cruise. She has her own balcony that is obviously just— there's a sunset happening right now. It's like she called me at the perfect time. She has a living room in her room.

The sunset is happening right now and it's 10 PM, just so you know.

10 PM. Wow.

And that's what it looks like outside.

Her friend is there in a robe eating what looks like to be pancakes and strawberries.

No, it's a crème brûlée.

It's a crème brûlée. And oh, this is huge. This entire room is like 800 square feet. Wait, what's the— how much is this Ritz-Carlton cruise costing you, Corinna?

This room, should I say it? This room, because you have to pay like per person for 2 people is $33,000.

Wow. For how long?

7 days.

7 days. 5 countries. So, so $16,000 a person? $16,500 a person?

Yeah, no, Corinna picked up the whole bill.

Wow.

The base room was like $12,500 a person, and then this one I think was like $18,500, but I got a little discount because I, I was saying it was too expensive that I wasn't gonna pay for it, so the lady gave me 5% off.

What's the, what's the best room that you can get there? How much is that?

I think it's like $60,000 a night, but we thought about it. On a boat, you can pay, and you have to pay for 2 people, mind you. Like, even if you get a room by yourself, you still have to pay like 75% of the other person that would have been there, right? If you're willing to spend $60,000 for 2 people, you might as well get a full cruise in the Mediterranean, Mediterranean, on a yacht for like— you can get that for $120,000 for the week. Why would you ever spend it on here? Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, you can get like the full thing, like huge, like But there must be activities on the cruise ship for $120,000 a week.

Yeah, but are there yoga? Are there any benefits to being on that cruise with other people? Like, maybe it's like a networking thing. Have you met other rich people?

They're all old.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

No, I thought we were gonna meet like hot young men, but like apparently nobody has money to spend on this shit, dude.

No one— see, this is what no one talks about, about being rich, how difficult it could be to meet people.

Go off, Kink.

Go off, Kink.

Tell us, tell us how hard it is to be rich.

What's another tough part about being really rich?

Uh, do people ask you for money, to borrow money all the time?

Yeah, do people ask you to borrow money?

No, I actually ask other people to borrow money. Oh, I'm looking for a small loan of a million dollars that I don't have to pay back for my house.

Wait, there was a really interesting thing that happened. Currently we just visited her on the farm and her niece was like— correct me if I'm wrong— her niece was basically looking like trying to figure out how to pay for her college. And she's like, well, should I pay $1,000 or, or then the full amount is $42,000. And then Corinna just goes, I'll just pay the full $42,000. And then you just, you paid for it right then and there. Is that what happened, Corinna?

Yeah, I put it on the credit card, but that's fucking, that's wild.

That's crazy.

But I mean, we're going to learn some life skills here and she's going to, she's going to make payments to me.

Okay. Okay. You just paid it off so she doesn't have like that kind of debt.

Well, yeah, I don't want to have to pay the extra money for no reason. No, you can't see me, right? No, dude, I'd rather her have be in debt to me and me be the bank and her not have any interest than her having to pay, like, you know.

Wow, that's really sweet.

Wait, how about, how about when we were in Florida and we kept learning that Corinna had other homes? She's like, we went to two homes, and then she was like, actually, I'm going to Tampa to my other home.

Yeah, and then every time you accuse Corinna of having multiple homes in Florida— she has three homes, by the way. And every— like, so we were in Orlando on her farm, and then she's like, I'm going to go to the other house that has AC. It's fully built. We're like, what? So we go into the gated— another, like, a gated community. We enter her home, and then Corinne is like, I have to go soon. I have to go to my house in Tampa. And we're like, what? And I'm like, you have 3 homes? And then she goes, I don't have 3 homes, David. I'm renting too. She, like, has to make it clear that she's renting, which in my book is having homes.

Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Yeah.

Can I just say this?

Yeah.

One of them I'm renting, which is not my— I don't own it. I am paying on something that's not mine. I feel like that's not that great.

I understand a lot of people rent homes and they don't consider themselves homeless. Therefore, you have a home.

The other one that I have in the Tampa area got hit by the last hurricane and I have to literally demolish it to the ground and I am negative on it. I bought the house for like almost $900,000 and I literally owe money to pay off the loan in order for me to basically chop it down and rebuild it. So like I'm going to be in like so much money on this house that is like not worth it basically. I'm going to be like upside down.

The hurricane hit the house?

Yeah, beat the fuck out of it.

Wow. Like actually, like that flooded it.

It flooded it like 5 feet. So everything inside had to be gutted out. And then it's like fucked with the foundation and everything. So I have to like, I either can like rebuild it, but I don't want to because it's just going to happen again because it's not on stilts. Or I have to knock it down.

Wait, wait, wait. This is the home you were going to see in Tampa, right?

Yes.

You don't have another home in Tampa that you're staying at meanwhile this home gets rebuilt in Tampa, right? No. Okay, okay, just making sure.

Nothing in Fort Myers.

But then I just got rid of it in— I had 4 houses at one point.

Anyways.

All right, well, thank you, Corona.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Okay, let me know if you have any more questions on the sweet life of Corona's yacht girl.

You go yacht girl.

Go bag an old guy.

I'm gonna go take pictures of my pussy in order to pay this off.

Send me, I'll Photoshop it. For you.

We have our title.

Okay, bye. We were in Florida with Corinna, and, and Corinna's like, yeah, I'm doing quite well, because we were finding out about our houses.

So, and then, and then Ilya had this like blank 50-mile stare in his eyes, his hands on his knees for like 20 minutes. He was like, are you fucking kidding me?

Yeah, yeah. When Ilya found out the dollar amount, Ilya kind of lost it, and he like started screaming. Then he just, he just was oblivious to the fact that Corinna's Well, we all, we all like, you know, I posted on TikTok her like day 1 numbers or month 2 numbers and even like her year 1 numbers. We weren't aware that these numbers would carry over for 5, 6 years. Like that's what was shocking. And I think, I think, I think the first time Ilya saw him, he's like, okay, cool. She's hot right now. This won't last longer than a year. I think that's what he said in his head. But yeah, when you see it and it's still fucking kicking ass and she's doing really great and Ilya is like so obsessed with with finding success, it fucking tore a heart or tore a hole in his heart.

You could do good on OnlyFans.

Not that good.

No, not that good. Apparently he's really good at having sex, so maybe he could.

Who said that?

I don't know.

He said it himself.

Ilya says it himself.

You can't say that.

It's kind of crazy though. Corinna's OnlyFans is so interesting because she does— I asked her, she still doesn't show her vagina. Like, she'll show like the front of it, she says, but like, it's not like— not— it's not like a porn angle or anything. And like, that's what's kind of impressive because I feel like a lot of people on like those websites kind of themselves.

Yeah.

And they'll be like, fuck it. Like, I like—

well, that's really impressive. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, I'm losing subs. I have to like step it up. But Corinna has still kept it tame, which is kind of— I mean, she really is great at it.

She's kind of giving me some ideas.

You know what I love? I love like I posted her house.

How would you know?

I post it.

How would you know she's great at it? Have you been to— I run her account. Oh, you run it? You do the DMs? Okay.

Um, no, I, um, because I've never—

I wouldn't know because I haven't seen it.

Yeah, right, Jay.

No, I would never go look at that.

Um, I, um, I posted her house to her, and like obviously some comments from guys were like, yeah, she fucking sells her whatever, you know, being dicks. But it's like, I can't help but see her in a situation— and this isn't just because she's my friend— but the only person I feel like it's embarrassing on is men. Like, it's like, it is— this girl's a multi-millionaire with 4 homes in Florida, and guys have the audacity to leave her a hate comment. You horny fucking idiots.

On a Ritz-Carlton cruise.

Yeah, she's on a Ritz-Cruz and you're leaving it. I'm so sorry, but I think it's so funny. It's like you're the one that's fucking horny jerking off and opening picture by picture going— I've been on OnlyFans. I've done it once.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Like I've had like a— I had a moment. I was like, I got it. I actually don't remember.

Okay. But like, but like, I don't believe you, but okay.

But like, I, I, I, and I used Ilya's account because I don't have my own.

Yeah.

And I also don't want— I'm pretty close to my accountants and for some reason, like, and they like track all of my spending and I don't want them coming.

They wouldn't say something, would they?

No, no, no. They know. I don't want them knowing, right? So like, I use Dillyas, and like, I, I know how dark it can get. You'll open one picture for $5, and then you'll see another picture that's like unlocked for $15, $20, and you'll be like, well, this picture must be better. And then the picture's not better, and you're like, why did I spend $15? And then you're like, well, I fucking need to finish the job, so I'll spend another $10. And then you're, you're $75 in for one night, right? Which like you could have spent on drinks going out and like having a good time with your friends, or going to Six Flags twice, or meeting a real girl, or yeah. Cover bed. I don't think— no, Nat, I don't know.

No, no, Nat, that's— wait a minute, I can meet a girl if I want.

It's not that. I just don't— I—

no, I just think it's interesting. I think it's really interesting that people even pay to begin with because there's so much free porn in general.

But I think that's what it is, right? It's like, it's like, uh, the girl next door. Like, OnlyFans, I think it's like for people that it's like, oh, this girl would never do porn. I can't believe I'm seeing this. I think that's how it works. But I also don't agree with like, I'd rather spend the money on meeting a girl in real life. Like, I don't know, meeting someone online is so much better. You're in your own home. You don't have to entertain anybody. You do what you have to do and then you go to bed, you know?

Well, this is a major problem we're getting into right now. I'm just glad we're not talking about 9/11.

Oh, yes. Sorry. Let's go back.

No, let's not.

Really?

There's nothing to say about it. You, you, you like conspiracy theories.

I mean, I like conspiracy theories, but like, I don't. We did like the NASA one for like, you know, 15 or 20 minutes last pod.

Okay, sorry. Well, what were you gonna say about the moon? You said you wanted to say something.

Well, apparently NASA is going back to the moon. Did you hear this?

Yeah, I saw a post and someone was like, does NASA listen to the pod? Yeah, because they said they're going back to— what did they say?

Uh, another fake landing.

They're not going back to the moon. They're finally landing there for the first time. They're like, it's 2025 now. We can actually get there. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna do What do they say?

So they are trying to return to their moon to establish the first long-term presence there. And this is a critical first step in their long-term mission to get to Mars. They're trying to send people to Mars in the next few years or something as well.

If you had the opportunity and you'd be the first human to do it, would you go inside a black hole?

At this point in my life?

Yeah. What do you mean, this point in your life?

Like, maybe I would when I'm like 60. Like, I've lived a little bit.

Oh my God, you know how depressing that would be?

For what reason?

Imagine you went into a black hole when you're 60, right? And you come out the other side. Okay, let me put it in perspective for me. Okay, I go into a black hole and I'm, and I'm thinking like you, which is, I think, like, crazy. Wait to wait till 60. I go in the black hole, I come out the other end, hottest fucking chicks. A planet of just hot chicks.

Ah, sick. Your brain's amazing.

Everyone's 24.

Wonderful.

I'm the crazy one.

Everyone gets Everyone has like yachts. People are flying around. People can fly here.

Kidding.

'Cause all you have to do is you have to eat something and you just fly and you float around and shit. Hot girls, all you can eat, calories don't count on this planet because of the sun there.

Whoa.

It like absorbs the calorie but doesn't like weaken you. It just like takes away the food. Amazing. Everything you've ever wanted.

All movie theaters are lie down.

Yeah, more so. You don't have to take flights. You teleport from place to place. Incredible. Anyway, you understand. Yeah, you go to heaven. Now you're 60 fucking years old. That sucks.

Yeah, but I'm sure there's—

Now you can't really enjoy it.

No, hang on, hang on.

I'll take this one. What if you're 60? It's not that bad if you take care of yourself.

If everyone is hot there and they're all like 24-year-olds and they don't age, and maybe you get to this planet, everyone stops aging at the age that they're on the planet.

You'd be so special. You'd be like, oh, check out this guy. He's like fucking way different than us. Like, let's hang out with him.

Okay, maybe you're right. That's a good way to paint it.

That's how I look at it.

But I'm just saying, if I got the opportunity to go in a black hole, and I hate— I know a lot of people, a lot of people hear this shit when I think guys like talking about going to space. It's like a guy thing. But I feel like a lot of people think that like we're making it up, but like there's no way in fuck I would say no to a black hole, right? Like, it's like, David, you're the first human for some reason. Your DNA coding is the only thing that like—

but like, think about like, what if it just spits you out like across the universe and you're just floating there by yourself until you die? The most like—

which is most likely.

Yeah. You're not getting spit out onto planet hot people.

You're not going to Love Island, brother.

Yeah.

I think there's a chance. I think there's an equal amount of chance of landing on Hot Island.

No.

There's a 0% chance it's Hot Island. It's gonna be like weird alien extraterrestrial shit.

What if you go into it and it's— and it's literally— it's basically all pixelated, right? And you land by a computer and the computer allows you to type in— like in Interstellar, right? So he goes in— not to spoil the ending, guys— but basically the aliens constructed a black hole that he would understand. What if it's the exact same thing? I go in, it's a fucking iPhone. Phone sitting on a desk, and then the iPhone, I can type in whatever I want and that becomes my new world. Like, you just don't know.

You want to take that chance?

I think the last chance— the last thing that's going to happen is I'm going to die a really slow, miserable death. I think I'll die— I think there's a really good chance I'll die immediately and it'll be so fucking quick I won't even know what happened.

Can we stop with the ageism on this podcast too? It's really not that bad. And in fact, I'll even say when you guys talk about your age, when you guys are like, oh my God, I'm going to be 30 It's like—

it like hurts you?

It doesn't hurt me, but I just feel like I wish, I wish you guys could see it from the other side. It's like, it's pretty great. You're 30. That's amazing.

No, I don't—

and also being 60 is fun. Like, it's like you get to a place in life where you're like, you're so appreciative that you're here, and you're like, oh wow, like you really, really, really are grateful by the time you're 60.

That's not how I'm looking at age. What you just said at the end is actually the nail on the head.

Go ahead.

What? Like, you're grateful by the time you get there.

Yes.

Right now, if you snapped your fingers and you made me 60, I'd kill myself, right?

Well, yeah, but that doesn't happen.

Exactly, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying I love the age I'm at now. I think, obviously, I wanna go back to high school really bad. That's like my one caveat is I do miss high school life.

Yeah.

But like, yeah, and we weren't complaining about it. We were complaining about our age being a weird number, 29. I'm excited for 30.

Yeah.

Like, to be a 30-year-old. But yes, when I'm 60, I'm gonna be like, yeah, I had a great time in my 10s, my 20s, my 30s, my 40s, my 50s.

That is actually when I peaked. Yeah, but, but yeah, like, no, no, I totally agree.

Yeah, yeah, it's really nice.

I see why you like being 60, because you've done all this shit. You've done all the things that we're about to experience, we're experiencing.

It's so fun, and I'm so, so like— also, I think I am a little—

I'm just saying right now it's disgusting.

Just looking at you right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I went to a black hole and came out like you had, I'd wish for the miserable slow death.

Quick death?

No, no, I don't. I would go to—

I, I think too, I'm also pretty lucky that I get to hang out with you guys too, because that gives me like a lot of, um, it gives you a certain delusion where you're like, oh, okay, you know what I mean?

I mean, it's crazy that one day we will be at your funeral, but you'll be at everybody's funeral.

Funeral. Do you know what I mean? A little earlier.

Actually, you may be at my funeral. We never know, but like, just like most logic—

I hope so.

You hope you're at mine?

Yeah.

I don't know why that checks out to be like more—

Naveen says that all the time. She's like, I'm gonna die before you. I'm like, what?

I think—

and you say it too.

I think it's a young thing to say that. I think a lot of young people just assume they're gonna die young.

Why do people say that?

I don't even—

can't picture yourself old.

You can't picture yourself old. I don't even think people say it. I don't even know why I say it. 'Cause I say it a lot and I almost say it like a tic.

Yeah.

Like I don't actually say it like I mean it.

I'll tell you, there's a threshold you cross.

Other than when I say I'm gonna kill myself, like when I'm in really bad moments, that's real.

I don't know.

Cut that out.

There's like a— thanks for the edit, Dave.

Nah, I'm kidding, you keep it.

There's a threshold you—

I'm not gonna kill myself, by the way.

I know, I know.

Also, don't tell your therapist.

You're too much of a pussy to kill yourself.

That's true.

And so am I. There is like a threshold you cross when you get— I think maybe I was about like, I got really sad about my age and then by the time I was like, like 38, and I was— then you're 39, then you're 40, and you're like, oh, okay, well, it's over.

Yeah, that's how, you know what I mean?

It passes. You're just like, oh, cool, every year is great.

I have all these, like— I hope this is true. I really hope this is true. This is the one thing I'm like really counting on that I hope I'm not jinxing. But like, I, I have like a problem in like comparing myself to other people. Not so much as I did before. Like, it really is going away. But I really hope it fully goes away when I have a child. Like, I'm so excited. Yeah, I'm so excited for my only priority to be my kid. Yeah, like, I don't care where I am. I don't care how big my— well, actually, I always care about how big my TV is compared to my neighbor. But like, I like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't need to be living in LA next to the hottest nightclub anymore.

Yes, yes, that's so liberating. Yes, like when you guys go out and you're like, we're into keys, and I'm like, yeah, there's not an ounce of jealousy, or there's not an ounce of like FOMO or anything. You're like, oh, thank God I didn't go.

No, that's how I feel about Europe.

Uh-huh. What do you mean?

It's like recently, like, my— our friend Emma Pills.

Yeah.

FaceTimed me to say happy birthday, and I was like, are you— I was like, what fucking time is it? She's like, it's 7:30 in the morning. She was in her Uber. She was drunk eating potato chips. There's—

there's not an ounce of you.

There's not an ounce of me that wants that.

Right, right.

Saint-Tropez, Cannes, I'd like to go to St. Tropez.

No, I wouldn't want to be up at 7:30 in the morning.

I'm very grateful that I've gotten to experience it. I'm only speaking out of my privilege of having to be there.

Sure, you've been there.

It's out of my system.

Yeah, good, good.

But I'm so happy it's out of my system. I can't go to— I don't want to have a hot European summer girl vacation thing anymore. Natalie still loves doing them for some reason, but I think that's because she likes laying out. She's a girl. She likes the beach. Yeah, I hate all that. So I guess I don't need to be blacked out at the club.

I just love like being on the beach in Europe.

Oh my God, nice launcher.

Walking to a cafe.

Oh, get an espresso.

My peak vacation, talking to a European man. No, we— we speaks a different language.

Okay, so what's your favorite moment when you go on vacation? Because my favorite, my absolute— like where it's— where it peaks, right, is like about 1 AM, we walk into a club and it's your peak, and I see like 3 of the hottest girls ever. I don't need to talk to them. It's the moment I turn to Ilya and I go, dude, look behind me. That is the moment that is the best time of my night. It's not when I go talk to the girls. It's not when I get lucky and I maybe kiss one of the girls, whatever. Yeah, it is. It's, it's definitely not when I'm like coming off from my drunk and I'm like wobbling home at 4 or 5 AM. It is the moment I'm like, this night's gonna be fun.

Yeah, I think you've hit on something so important here.

What is it?

It's like the way guys think.

Yeah, like this is why David and I vacationing never works.

Right.

Ever, ever, ever. We have such different ideas of vacation.

Do you remember when I got in shape and I was like, I was in really good shape?

Yeah.

Okay, so the only reason I ever achieved that, and that's the only time I've ever been able to do it in my life, because I was trying to impress Naveen. Every day I would go to the gym and be like—

I thought you were on steroids.

Well, I was, but I was on TRT, but I mean, I definitely had help. But the thing is, is the only reason I was able to achieve that was because I was like trying to impress her and trying to win her over.

Yeah, that's a little different.

It's the same, it's a girl.

Well, I have a whole nother philosophy that everything in life boils down to like impressing girls. Yes, that's a whole nother—

yes, that's a whole nother mating in general.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, mating. It's like kind of funny to say, but yeah, go ahead. I mean, okay, now so where is your peak? Because I'm really curious, because like my peak is—

I mean, obviously depends on who's like on the vacation with me, But it's like, I think it's like when we've had a long day, whether it's at the beach or on a boat or something, you get back to like the Airbnb or the hotel, whatever, and like you're taking a shower and you're getting ready for the night.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And like you all, you have like a nice dinner plan, like you have plans for that night.

I'm with her.

I'm, I'm almost with you other than like energy, like battery. How do you—

like the sun is setting.

Oh, it's like you're in the shower, you're showering off the day, like you can see your tan lines, it's like, oh my God, I feel good. I'm tan. I soaked in the sun. I got some salt water in my hair and I'm about to look fucking hot tonight. It's gonna be so much fun.

Oh wow. That is interesting.

Yeah.

So would you say after that it goes all downhill? I know.

No, it doesn't go downhill, but that's like the peak is like getting excited. Cuz obviously then you go out and it's like not always the best night, but like it's the thought.

I agree.

It's like the thought of like, this is gonna be like so much fun. Somewhere different, and it's like, I don't know, just exciting.

Yeah. Okay, so we're almost at the same peak, and it's like right before—

no, hers is about 6 hours before yours.

Yeah, mine's like pre-dinner. Mine's at like 4 PM. Yours is at 1 AM.

Yeah, but that's what I'm revving up. That's when I'm like, what are you doing at that, at that time?

Still asleep. He hasn't even woken up from the day before.

Yeah, you gotta adjust your hours, dude.

I just don't care to.

Also, like, why, why wouldn't you want to be like more at dinner?

Because I'm like, for what? So I can drink beers? You don't have to drink beer. I'd rather Postmates Subway. When I'm in a foreign country, my favorite thing is to Postmates Subway because the bread is so soft.

So strange.

I would so much rather go eat at Subway than anywhere else.

Really?

So like, why would I go to a restaurant? I don't know. I just don't get it. But I also am like wired like an idiot.

Yeah, my peak would be the end of— on a beach chair, the end of the day. It's shady, so now I don't have to be in the sun anymore. And I'm having like an espresso to like pep me up for dinner.

Oh my God, dude, I said the lamest thing once to Natalie. The fucking—

oh my God, what'd you say?

It irks me so much every time. I was on Molly at Coachella and I remember I was like— oh, do you remember?

I, I remember this moment. I don't remember what you said.

We were on the bus. We're in the bus. Yeah, what did you say?

I remember this.

So fucking lame, but it was like the most Molly— like, it was like the best part of Molly when you're like, just let— like, you're just existing Sure. And it's firing all your, like, happiness out, right? Like, in those moments, like, you're just happy to be sitting on a bus and just, like, you're looking at your friends. I don't know what I said, but it was like—

it's especially rough coming from you because you never— I might say something like that, not on Molly.

You would say shit like that all the time, right?

Go.

I say things like that, but I don't say things like— I'll be like, this house is beautiful. Sure, I love living it. But this was very like, why do I ever worry about anything?

What did you say? Do you remember?

I don't know what I said, but it was— it was I mean, you remember how lame it was, right?

I remember how I was like shook to my core when he turned and said this to me because I was like, I've never heard— like, we're all like, everyone's like drunk on the bus, and David just turns to me like, just, just pure enjoyment of the moment, right?

Yeah.

And just like basking in it.

Yeah, it gave me the ick. It like gave me the ick for myself.

Why, brother?

And I woke up the next second, what the fuck?

And I thought it was so sweet. I was like, oh, like, no, I don't like doing it.

Well, that's one of my biggest criticisms of Really? Yeah, it's like you never, you never go like, if I say like, Dave, that was really good, you'll never accept it. Oh my God. You'll never— no, no, it's fucking good, it's gotta be better. Oh, never. Really? Yeah, or you'll never, you'll never stop and—

No, no, no, no, I said this yesterday too. I mean, yes, obviously you have moments where you're like, this is amazing, you know, whatever. Obviously, like, life is fucking great. But like, you have like, you really like, you are always a glass half empty kind of guy.

Oh yeah, for sure.

Like everything is like—

I mean, yeah, I got the— I get that from my parents.

My parents, they're really positive. No, no, no, that Eastern European kind of thing.

Yeah, I think it's like an Eastern European thing. I remember like when my parents first came to this house, like the first, first words out of their mouth, like the first time they're seeing this $10 million home, too big. Yeah, yeah, no, it's like, what's with this drywall? I mean, it is like the smallest things, which makes sense in a way. It was a little bizarre, but like, yeah, Yeah, they're not—

they're like looking out for you. That's what they're doing. They're like, they're like, oh shit, he's gonna have to take care of the drywall. Is he going to be able to pay the rent here? Like, that's what's going on.

Maybe.

Yeah, that's all they're doing.

I don't know.

It's a mortgage.

Whereas— what did I say? Rent. I own it, Jason.

Um, there was a moment when we were in Ibiza. It was the end of the day, and I turned to David. We were sitting at like the front of the boat. Like, it's sunset. We're like driving off, whatever. Oh my God. And I said this like knowing it would egg him on and like piss him off in a sense.

It was kind of I know what she did, and that's why I gave her the response.

Yeah, I know, I know, you fed into it. But we're sitting there and it's just like him and I like sitting there at the front of the boat. It's beautiful, okay, beautiful moment. The wind's blowing in her hair, and I turned to him, I was like, isn't this just amazing? Like, this was perfect. Like, the sun is setting, we're on this boat, we're in fucking Spain. Like, this is amazing. And he's like, uh, you know, I could see the sunset from my couch at my house. And I was just like, I was just like, I just like threw my hands. I was like, are you fucking serious? Because, because yeah, I know you can see the sunset here, you can see the sunset anywhere, but at the It's the people, it's the vibe. It's like, I know, get that.

It's, it's those experiences I can compare to being in a hot tub, right? Like, being in a hot tub is—

you're bringing— go ahead, good.

No, like, being in a hot tub is incredible for 20 minutes, and then it's just like, I have to get out, I'm gonna be cold, I have to flop around into the shower. Like, I, for some reason, I can't enjoy things because I just, I know We're gonna have to get off the boat. We're gonna be sandy. We're gonna have to drive home 30 minutes. The boat ride back was an hour after the sunset. We're gonna be in darkness. We're gonna be rocking.

You're gonna be a funny old man.

Like, oh my God, you're gonna be such a funny old man.

You're gonna have this hot wife who wants to have fun. You're gonna be like, where will we park?

Yes.

Yeah, that happens to all guys, I think.

Yeah, but it's just like, it's here when I'm at my house. I have a very small bladder, so I like being on the couch. I like going to the bathroom twice in an hour. Like, I really like doing that. And I don't enjoy any— like, I love—

You sound like an honorary Jew right now. You sound like one of my people.

I just like being with my friends too.

You were with Natalie.

Yeah, there was like 4 of us there.

Your best friend.

Yeah, I get that. I appreciate that. I feel that way after I've been on vacation for more than like 6 days. If I'm like away from home for more than 6 days, I'm like, okay, get me, get me home. Like, I want to have my comfort in my, my place.

Do you ever get a— do you ever get a high from like natural things? Like, I get— when you fly, have you ever flown and you're like, you write like a really nice like text to somebody or something? Like, like something releases in you? Or maybe at the beach? Or, um, you ever get like a natural high?

My favorite moments are when I'm boarding a plane and I'm really healthy and I'm really clean and I don't have a backpack on. I love that. I love—

I love the airport.

I love going through the airport very clean, a little bit tan, and sweatless. There's nothing better than that. I don't know what it is. There's like something about it that's like, here I am going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've got your— you've got your favorite shirt on and your favorite sweatpants and your favorite sneakers, right?

I'm just moving.

Yeah, new hat.

Where will I be? I don't know.

You go through security like that?

Yeah. I get stressed. And I talk like that.

Yeah.

And I also get excited.

Dude, security is so stressful though.

I have TSA Pre. It's pretty easy now. The one thing I do like about— I'm very fortunate now to have money, is I could go to the airport snack area and buy whatever I want.

Oh, yeah. That is nice.

Which I think is a very, very big deal. Fly, get my waters, I buy my NyQuil for the flight, which is— fuck, I buy medicine at the airport. Why am I doing that? Like, and I spent like $60, like, just on like Gardettos and like a Diet Coke and 2 bottles of water. And I have everything ready for my flight, and I get like really excited about that. Um, and I think that's like— it's a big thing. And then if my friend wants something, I don't even ask them to Venmo me. I know it's kind of a flex, but like, I've always— that was like my—

that is nice.

That was like my one thing when I met— when I first moved to LA and Zayn and Heath were making a lot lot, lot of money. They were, they were like making, they were making like, they post a Vine, they'd make like $45,000 or something. It was crazy. Made no sense to me at the time. Um, I was making like $1,400 a month at best. That was like a really good month. And like, they'd buy me, they'd ask me if I wanted something, and I remember how hesitant I was like at first to like say something, cuz like I wanted something but I couldn't afford it. But I was like, I'm good. And then I remember there was like a moment where like Keith was like, no, no, I got it, just like, what do you want whatnot, right?

And like, that's nice.

Keith would just like, get me a water.

Sure.

And he wouldn't ask me to vet. I thought that was so crazy. And I started to see it more and more in LA. And I don't know if— I think that's adulthood in general, right? Like, I think that's just adulting. Like, hey, you want to go get— I don't know. And I've talked about it on the podcast, like, with my girlfriend. Like, I was still so cheap where like I would wait for her to order DoorDash first, right? So I wouldn't have to pay for— like, I, I was like very very frugal for a very long time. Now it's like so exciting that I can just like—

like, now I'm like, AJ, you want a Kit Kat?

Yeah, like, now I'll like literally like— like, I'll even bitch to Alex, who's my roommate. Yeah, I'll ask him every time I get DoorDash, for some reason him specifically, because I see the food he cooks and I'm like, this is disgusting. Like, what do you want from Chipotle or whatever? And I'm like, oh, I'm good. And I'll be like, first of all, just order something and save it for later. I'm paying for it. Like, just get stuff.

I had a friend friend. I had a friend who was a really, really big writer. He wrote like Emmy Award-winning like serious TV shows. And I went to his beautiful house in Santa Barbara, and then we went to the grocery store, and he said the same thing.

Saying what?

He was just like, I can buy anything in this grocery store.

Yeah.

He's like, get whatever you want. He's like, we're gonna make steaks, we're gonna make— and I didn't have any money, and I was like, okay. No, no, but he said the same thing. And I was— it was— it, it was like, wow, but you have so much money, but you're getting excited about like deli meat.

Well, it's the craziest thing.

Yeah, because maybe when he was a kid he I couldn't.

Well, it's like, yeah, and everyone that doesn't come from money knows the feeling of like—

I came from so much money, so I don't really worry about it.

I know, you're loaded. It's kind of shitty. But you're a nepo baby.

Crazy. Have you seen that guy? He sold a series called Nepo Baby or something. He's Tim Robbins' son. He's on Instagram.

No, that's kind of cool.

Kind of a cool idea for a show.

Yeah, I'm surprised no one's done that.

I am too.

Because there's so many layers to that. We have so many nepo baby friends.

Yes.

Like, and it's not, um, it's not as easy.

Well, you know what's funny? When you watch his Instagram, it's all famous kids on the Instagram. Yeah, he'll do collabs with famous kids and they're all good. They're like, all know how to act, you know, and they're all interesting.

I'm saying it's not as easy to be a nepo kid as you think.

We're going into— we're going into tough water here.

No, I don't, I don't think we are. I think you're like— I think you're super privileged, but But like, I think a lot of people you would ask, a lot of people that weren't born into that life, like, would you rather earn it or be given it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think, I think a lot of people would choose earn it.

Of course.

I think a lot.

I think as long as they can eventually get there, right?

Yes. Well, this obviously without the—

this kid's funny. Might fail. This kid's funny. Both his mom and dad have won Oscars, so that's a tough one.

Yeah.

His mom, Susan Sarandon.

And how do you live up to that?

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

How do you live up to that?

Jacob Dylan is a great example.

And whatever you do, unless you fucking get Michael Jackson status, yes, you'll never be impressed. Like, no one will ever be like, wow, you did it yourself. No, your parents, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. And I don't know, I don't know. It's hard to defend nepo babies. What about, what about just very few? But I do see, I remember we had a nepo friend very specifically. I know you know who I'm talking about. He was so He was— his parents were billionaires.

Sure.

But when there was a piano, like, we were at his house, his like $15 million house that his parents just bought him, full-out bought him, fully furnished, incredible art in the house. But when he sat down on a, like, to a piano and like got to make music and like sang, it was fucking insane. Like Charlie Puth level shit. I was like, this is fucking crazy, right? But like It would never be like— it could just never work because unless he owned the whole "I'm a nepo kid," but even then it would never be like—

well, look at Josh Brolin. He was a nepo kid and he became a really big actor.

Yeah, I don't know, but there are nepo kids that are really good at it that like— sure, like Charlotte Lawrence is one of our friends and she's like, she's very much— she's like, I'm so aware of like the greatness I come from and I'm like, and I love it and I'm so grateful and I'm also making my own thing and I love doing what I do it and she's like Okay, so she's such a cool girl. So yeah, I don't know.

I saw a nepo kid the other day. She, she said it so well. She's an actress from Girls. She was, um, and she said basically like, the thing about being a nepo baby that's great is, is if I, I can't fail. And she said that she was like, you know, she's like, if I don't make it, I'm going to be okay. And that's, that's the difference, you know what I mean? For me, if I don't make money this month, like, my kids don't eat, you know? Like, and that's the difference.

It's It's also tough sometimes though with that safety net. It's almost tougher to succeed.

Oh, I don't look at it like that. If you have a safety net, you're like, you're much more fearless, you're much more risk-taking. You're like, oh, hell, I will spend—

are you fucking crazy?

100%.

I'm not hungry.

Yeah.

Oh, what are you talking about?

No, no, I possibly— but also you're like, yeah, I will take a month and go into the studio and see if I can make an album. You have the opportunity.

Comes from a completely different place, I think, though.

It's both are true.

You have the opportunity, you don't have the experience. I think both could be true, but I I think, I think to have that hunger is like so fucking incredible. All right, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you, Karina, for calling in. That was very sweet of you wishing me a happy birthday.

What are you going to do about the truffle?

I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to think about it. I'll see how drunk I get in Chicago. Okay, we'll see you guys later. Bye.