Partying Until 6am

What's up guys, one of our sponsors for this podcast is Spotify. You can get thousands of podcasts for free on Spotify, including ours, as well as a bunch more of the most popular news and politics shows. Guys, what's up guys, welcome back to Views. I keep saying guys, I can't start anything without saying guys. But today Jason's grumpy, so get ready for that type of podcast. He's in a bad mood because Joe said something about his video the other day and Jason was like, I don't need your advice, Joe. I don't need your advice. I've been doing this for 2 years now and I'm 45, and even though I can't see fucking 10 feet ahead of me, I know how to edit. Because he hates unsolicited advice.

You just maybe made me— I think that maybe you're a compulsive liar for what just came out of your mouth. I'm so far away from what happened here 10 minutes ago.

Can I say something? Can I say something? I'll admit I made like 85% of that up.

Yeah, but that's okay because this is a podcast and we have to be entertaining.

That's what we have to do.

We have to do it and we've got to get through this realistically.

This entire thing is bullshit. I can tell stories all day and just have them completely made up. Should I just do that one podcast? Just tell really, like, descriptive stories.

Tell me stories today and we won't know if they're real or not.

Okay, cool.

Okay. And then at the end of the podcast, I'll go, I think that one was fake.

All right, let's, let's roll intro music. What's up guys, welcome back to The Views Podcast. I feel like I already did that intro, um, but this is it again. Jason, introduce yourself real quick.

Hi, I'm Jason Nash.

He's 45, I'm 22. I'm David, and we have kind of like a father and son dynamic here on The Views Podcast.

Is that what you think it is?

Well, yeah, but without the love or appreciation or comfort or—

or anything. Let me in. You won't let me in, and I've tried to send you— like, sexually, I try to give you love all the time and you are so closed off. Yeah, and, and you I see you cuddling with Zane all the time, but you never cuddle with me.

Cut that part of the podcast, the cuddling. I don't want people to know that. Um, no, but okay, so it's the like 8th day of Halloween today.

Yeah, what's been going on with you and your friends?

I don't know if this is relatable at all to anybody else in the world. I asked Natalie yesterday, my assistant, I'm like, just, is, is this— are there 7 days of Halloween in the Midwest? Is this like a normal thing? Guys, we started going out Our first party was, I think, Thursday night of last week. That was our first night going out for Halloween. So like dressing up, that's what started it. And then every night, and I mean every night, I don't mean, I don't mean like it was one night, whatever it was, was different. Every night we were out in costumes or whatever we were doing from that day up until last night. And every night we were up until like 4, 5, 6 AM.

It's like a trap house in here when I come over and see.

It's disgusting. We're all getting sick. Natalie, my assistant, can't function anymore, and that sucks, 'cause she's already fucking horrible at her job. So you already know how much worse it can possibly get. And we have just been going out like madmen. You can attest to this, right?

I tried to go out with you guys one of the 7 nights, and I went and took a long nap, and I slept, and I'm like, tonight I'm gonna go out with the young kids. And so I got in my costume, I got here at 9 o'clock, And I was like, already? And then like at like 10, we're like at Target looking for costumes. Then at 11, we're at Popeyes. And then at 12, we go to the pre-party.

Yeah, we're going— we went to our first pregame.

That was the night of the Bella Thorne party.

Yeah.

And I never made it.

It's 12, and we didn't leave to get to the party till 12:30. But then we got to the party, and the party was shut down. So it took us— at 1:30, we found an address to another party. And at 2 o'clock, we got to the new party. And we stayed there till 3:35 in the morning.

Wow.

And then we didn't go to bed till 6. How fucking crazy is that? I felt insane, Jason. And the craziest part is I have a vlog that I post 3 times a week. So like, I was, I was in the car, like at one of these parties, I was in the car editing and then I had to— I had a party montage and I had to get another clip.

Yeah.

So I literally walked into the party, shot a clip of the party for the party montage, and then I hopped back into my car and I put that clip right in my video. And the video was up before that same party was even over. Like, that's how loony it got. I mean, it got insane.

You see any celebrities at these parties?

Yeah, oh my God. Let me just talk about this because people have been up my ass about this one. Harry Styles, I ran into Harry Styles at the first party.

No shit.

Yeah, my friend's brother manages him or something. I, I was very, very quick interaction. It was literally hi, hello, bye.

Like the, like the Justin Bieber pool situation. Exactly.

Except, except Harry was very, very, very sweet. Uh, I mean, from literally the 4 words he said to me. Yeah, it was— it's nice to see. The only thing that I like got from it was like, it's— he introduced himself as Harry.

He said, hey, what's up, handsome?

You know what, I, I'll, I'll admit that to you right now. I did lie about that. Oh, um, no, but he was like— I was like, hey, what's up, I'm David. He's like, hey, I'm Harry, which which is really cool for like a big celebrity to introduce themselves.

What's he supposed to say?

Dude, I've met tons of celebrities that never say their own fucking name.

Really?

And it speaks loads to me when a celebrity says their own name. I don't know what it is.

You were impressed by, hey, I'm Harry?

I was like, what did you say your name was? He's like, Harry. I'm like, you bet your fucking ass it is. Thank you so much for that. I'll see you later.

Doesn't take much to impress you, I guess. He didn't spit in my face, and I thought that was incredible.

No, but I met him. And bro, and people found out we were at the same party. And Jason, it was the only tweets I was getting. Really? It was all— everyone was like, I'm fucking unsubscribing if you don't have him in your vlog. Like, I mean, it was like, I don't know.

How did they know? There was a— you made an Instagram story?

Well, no, I was at the— yeah, yeah, I made an Instagram story where I was at the Casamigos party, right? And he was there too because of all the press that was surrounding him. And, and people, I mean, they were up in arms about me meeting him, which is crazy.

What goes through your head?

I don't know. I was like, I was like First of all, let me explain this. I can't film the guy if I just met him. Like, I can't be that guy. Trust me, I would love to film with Harry Styles. That'd be a blast. But I can't do that the day I meet him and when I'm at a party where he's trying to have fun.

But does that go into your head while you're at the party? Like, shit, is there a way? Is there a way? I mean, get in.

Yeah, it is. But like, I know that that's just like completely wrong. Like, I would never do— I'd never be like, hey Harry, let's film this. So at one point, I was standing by him and I had my laptop in my hand. Because I was editing too at the time, and I just wanted to have—

That must look real cool at the party, Dave.

Well, it honestly looks like it was part of my costume. This woman came up to me, she's like, why do you have a laptop?

Because you're dressed as a cop.

I was dressed as a cop, and I'm like, I'm just filing some police reports. She's like, oh, okay, right on. No, but at one point I was standing next to him with my laptop, and I just wanted to hand him the laptop and just take a picture with him and be like, hey, upload's going to be really late, got hired a new editor. But no, no, I mean, He was—

did he look at your laptop?

No, it was literally a 5-second interaction. It was so quick. Um, but yeah, what?

Nothing.

Yeah, you seem like you're about to say something.

No, I'm a blank slate. I have nothing going on. Um, no, I'm going to bed at 10 o'clock.

That was great. It was— it's really interesting to see like celebrities dressing up and stuff. There was a bunch of other celebrities. I don't really— I'm not the biggest celebrity guy, so I don't really know unless like they're in the top like 1%. Um, but like Ryan Seacrest, like Heidi Klum, I don't— fuck, see, I don't even know. Heidi Klum wasn't there. I made that up.

Uh, my ex-wife keeps— I was, I was at a Halloween party last night, and, um, there were— we were talking about a certain celebrity that someone knew, and, and I was like, oh, is there any way you can get them for David's vlog? And she was like, she was like, yeah, she's like, I can, I can work on that. And I was like, okay, cool. And then my ex-wife, she always does this thing where she'll, she'll pitch these actors which nobody knows from her TV shows Oh, and I'll be like, I'm like, yeah, that would be great.

Yeah, that's tough.

Yeah, that's tough because it is that way with you with like with certain celebrities. There's just people you don't know.

Yeah, and it's like, not that I don't even want to do anything with them, it's just I just don't know them. So I don't know, like, who didn't you know the other day? I didn't know, um, I didn't know it was— I, I love the show Friends and I've seen maybe, I don't know, 80, 70, like 50 episodes realistically, but I don't know enough about anybody from the cast issue with them.

You didn't even know costume, Dog the Bounty Hunter.

No, I knew Dog. I knew Dog the Bounty Hunter.

You did it.

I don't know. Anyway, listen, the parties were insane. It was one party to the next, constantly, constantly going. Oh, we went— we pulled up to a party and, and there was a, there was a cop there because they were shutting it down. I'm like, what's up? Why? Hey, what do I do? And he's like— and he goes, he goes, what's up, David? Nice to see you. Hey, what's up? He goes, I'm gonna I'm gonna give you a little suggestion. Get out of here. I'm about to shut this bitch down. And I'm like, okay. So, so I left. But there's a lot of parties that were shut down. Also, every time a party gets shut down in LA, they bring out a chopper. Like, a helicopter will fly over the party and shine their light down on it, which— what is that for?

It scares people, you think? Yeah, when you see chopper, you think, oh, there's like someone on the loose.

Really?

Because in LA, for sure.

I feel like in this, in this day and age, when you see a helicopter over a party, people just go, fuck yeah, we did it, let's fucking party harder, turn that shit up, right? Like, isn't that like a sign that your party's killing it?

Those are people on PCP that think that.

Um, no, but I mean, a lot of parties shut down, a lot of going out.

Just, do you think Thanksgiving's gonna be like this too?

I fucking hope so. I hope, I hope, honestly, I'm gonna start going out for Thanksgiving tomorrow.

I was shocked. I came over to help you edit the vlog last night. I was shocked to see the boys here partying.

Yeah, it was like 4 or 5 AM and they were just, they were just chilling. They were just hanging out and just drinking in their costumes. Blows my mind.

What happened to making YouTube videos?

I don't know. I think they fucking forgot. I genuinely, I don't think they've touched the camera in a while. I think they, in the last couple days—

that's good for you.

Yeah, in the last couple days I think they forgot that they have to make a living. It's crazy because I mean, they They got sidetracked. How was your Halloween?

Mine was great. I was with the kids. We went out.

That was awful. I'm regretting asking.

Um, yeah, it was, it was really cool. Wyatt went as, uh, Twenty One Pilots.

Oh yeah.

Charlie went as a '50s girl.

How was trick-or-treating?

I went as Dog the Bounty Hunter, and some 5-year-old came up and pointed at my belly and said disgusting.

No, he didn't.

Yeah, they did.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, you probably thought it was a part of the costume.

Yeah, they're like, your belly's showing. Really? Yeah.

Oh shit, that was pretty funny. I'm sorry about that.

I mean, it didn't hurt my feelings, David.

Oh, you want to talk through it? But, and how is trick-or-treating, man?

They gave out large candy bars last night.

Really?

They were in a rich neighborhood.

Where'd they go? Where'd they go? Beverly Hills? Oh wow.

Yeah, these houses in there are insane. We got to go back there and see these houses.

We've got to go back and trick-or-treat today or something, see if they have any leftovers.

I went to Rick Baker's house, who's like a famous, um, he's probably the most famous gore artist, like makeup artist. Oh, he did like Freddy Krueger and stuff.

Did any celebrities answer the door while you were like trick-or-treating?

Um, yeah. Who? Um, Justin Bieber answered the door.

He was just handing out candy?

Yeah, and he was, he was like pretty cool.

There was a couple people that came to my house to trick-or-treat. That was really funny because it's funny to see him like My house is in a random place where there's no trick-or-treaters. It's like a very isolated place. So if you're here, I know you're here just because you watch the video.

Yeah.

And my favorite is like, is like, like there was even like a person dressed as me and they'll be like, oh David, oh, oh God, this is, this is— can I have a picture?

This is your— oh my God, so I'm dressed as you. This is so weird. What are you doing here? Yeah, holy crap. I saw 5 kids out here last night. They asked me for a picture.

Yeah.

And I said no. Oh yeah, I did, but I was really nice about it because it's too close to my house. I said, I think— okay, I have a picture. I go, I go, you know what? I go, I can't take a picture in front of his house. I go, we can talk for a few minutes though.

And they go, no thank you, we'll just be on our way now.

And I said, any guys got talents for the vlog? And they all go, oh yeah, yeah, Eddie, Eddie's got talents for the vlog. And I'm like, oh cool, what do you got? What do you got? And they go, "Come." He goes, "No, no, man. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it." And they go, "No, no, no. Tell them, tell them, tell them." And then he goes— and I'm like waiting for this great thing. And he goes, "I cook burgers." And I go, "Oh." Yeah, he makes the best burgers. You put that on the vlog.

Put that on the vlog. Okay, it's not a cooking show. There was these girls that came here, and they didn't get to meet me because I was editing in my room. And Josh Peck answered the door. And as they're walking out, Natalie's walking in and she hears them go, "Well, at least we got to meet Josh Peck." And then she told Josh that and Josh is like, "What the fuck? What do you mean at least they got to meet me?" Josh was just heartbroken. But—

What's happening with the Tesla? Is this a new update?

It's a new update, but before I tell you about anything about anything, I need to tell you that one of our show sponsors today is Talkspace. It's the online therapy company that lets you message a Licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. All you need is computer with internet connection or the Talkspace mobile app. That means you can improve your mental health even if you've had trouble making time for it in the past. Can't imagine fitting anything else in— Baja? Hello? Can't imagine fitting anything else—

Dave is doing it in two languages.

I need a— yeah, really? Every ad I read I'm translating.

It's bilingual.

Can't imagine fitting anything else in your life? Well, with Talkspace, therapy is as easy as sending your therapist a message. Get something off your chest whenever you need to. Talk about everyday challenges at work or at home. People are gonna— these companies are gonna start messaging us and be like, hey, can someone else read these fucking ads? Because David, David can't read.

I know how to read.

I literally can't put words together. Yeah, I don't know why you don't read any of these.

I just thought I can jump in. Here, let me jump in.

Today's show— the Talkspace platform has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges. We all— okay, to match with the perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/views and use the code views to get $40 off your first month and show your support for this show. That's views and talkspace.com/views. Um, but yeah. Oh, my, my— our buddies went trick-or-treating the other day. Jonah's family who— they're all 24 years old and above, and they all go trick-or-treating. Really? Isn't that crazy? They all dress up and they all have buckets, and then even the mom goes and she gets a bucket and she trick-or-treats herself.

She gets candy too?

Yeah.

They get a lot?

I mean, I would assume so. They, they go to like a specific part of the neighborhood. Like, they get in their car and they, they know the spots, you know what I mean?

Sure.

They're Halloween pros. They've been doing it for 24 years.

If you think about it, I was thinking about this last night, trick-or-treating is free. It's one of the only things that's free anymore.

It is free, but if you also think about it, I stopped trick-or-treating when I was 14, right?

Yeah, right. I definitely had a— I had had a trick-or-treater, I was like, oh, I'm too old.

Yeah, yeah, that's crazy that they're still doing it at 24. I, I mean, hi, what are you supposed to be, a fucking adult? What are you supposed to be, too old?

What was Vardhan dressed as?

He was dressed as Luigi.

Oh, that's cute.

Yeah, the whole thing was very cute.

What was Jonah dressed—

do you look for razor blades in your kids' candy?

Uh, yeah, always.

You do? Have you found any? Do you go through your kids— do you go through your kids' candy?

Um, yeah, we went through it last night.

You mean you went through it with your mouth and then they woke up and it was gone?

I gotta inspect this stuff, guys. Dad's gonna be— he'll be back in 10 minutes. I pull out all the Reese's.

Listen, kids, I got good news and bad news. Good news is none of the candy was poisoned. Bad news is it's all gone.

Yeah, they're real miserly about the candy.

What do you mean?

Like, I'll be like, like, literally have a huge thing, like, can I get one piece?

Sure.

And, um, and, and they're like, no, no, you can't. And they have like 400 pieces.

Yeah, 100%. I know how kids get.

Lots of trading going on last night too.

Oh yeah, trading Halloween candy is the best. Everyone always wants peanut butter cups.

Have you heard this advertising campaign that they came out with, Reese's? You can take any candy and go to a machine in New York City, and you get Reese's peanut butter cups back.

What do you mean?

So if you have candy you don't like—

Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, isn't that brilliant?

So you could take an Almond Joy, which I hate because I'm allergic to almonds.

Yes.

You could take an Almond Joy, put it in the machine, and it'll shoot out a peanut butter cup.

Yeah.

Really?

It's a genius ad campaign.

That's amazing.

Because that really is the best candy bar, in my opinion.

It is the peanut butter. Everyone loves peanuts, and people love butter.

I took a vote last night. What is the best candy bar?

Well, what'd you get? Everyone's dying to know.

Young and old said Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Yep.

I don't know if it was just the group.

It's the softest. It's the, it's the perfect size for a mouthful. It's just a good experience.

Yeah. And it's almost kind of healthy.

Exactly.

Because it's got a little bit of protein in there. Well, do we have any more ads to read?

No. Well, we do have one later, but this, this is an article that Joe just popped up for me. Woman who claims to have had sex with 20 ghosts is now engaged to one.

Hmm, right on.

Spirited fling with an Australian ghost has ended up in true love for an English woman. Whoever wrote this article is an asshole. He knows this woman is crazy.

Um, like a really easy relationship, you know?

It is, it is, honestly, because You know, in fact, hold on, the ghost was the one that proposed, and she wants the living world to know. She's 30. She has sex— had sex with at least 20 ghosts. First of all, this ghost that proposed to her, I'm really proud of him for looking past the other 20 ghosts, because that's what would bother me.

Um, I wonder if she's doing all the rituals, like bridal shower.

Listen to this, listen to this. She's had sex with 20 ghosts since she was a teenager. But she wasn't looking for a new relationship when she went to Australia on a business trip. However, this is a fucking— this is on the Huffington Post. This is a real article. However, she says that changed on a nature hike when she came into contact with a spirit and sparks started to fly like none she's ever known. That's amazing. She really didn't think it could amount to anything serious because she says spirits tend to stay in one place. But something amazing happened on her flight home. She felt the presence of her lover on the plane and apparently not stowed in cargo. That's amazing. I couldn't believe it. I was happy and excited. Wow. Have you ever had a relationship with an inanimate object?

Yeah. I mean, I dated a train for a while.

Really?

Yeah, it's just an old train that was broken down in my town.

Oh, so it wouldn't even move?

No. I mean, that's how we met.

And you stumbled across it, I'm assuming?

I was playing soccer. Okay. Believe it or not, I didn't have a lot of friends when I was a teenager.

Blows my fucking mind.

And I'm just kicking the ball against a wall.

Yes.

You know, and every, every fifth time I kick it, the ball hits me in the head. And I, I, I'm sitting there and I— you ever just feel like someone's looking at you? I—

yeah.

And I turn around and I see this fucking sexy-ass train. Like, real sexy.

And did you— who engaged in it? Who engaged in the conversation?

He whistled at me.

Really?

Yeah, he went choo choo.

But he was broken down, so you knew that that was weird.

Yeah, I knew, I knew he had baggage, and I didn't care, you know what I mean?

Sure.

Because it was like, I don't know, do you ever just know? There's like a, like a spark.

You think people sit during these parts of the podcast where we go on stories And they just said, oh my God, I can't wait till this part's fucking over. It's like, it's like on Family Guy when they'll go into a joke and they'll spend like 4 minutes on it. Yeah, like some people like it, but other people are like, God fucking shit, let's get out of this conversation.

That's my favorite part of Family Guy.

It is. It is. I love when you take a joke and you go too far with it. Sorry. Sorry to derail you from that story. Oh, fuck.

Damn, David.

I know, I know. Um, but okay, let's talk.

That story was pretty loco motive.

That's not bad.

Not good.

It's definitely not good. No. But can we talk about this? Yeah, actually, I want to talk to you about something right after Joe's teeny weeny podcast. My friend, our friend Buddy Joe has a podcast. We give him 25 seconds of ad— of not ad space, of space on our podcast, and it starts in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Here you go, Joe.

Thanks for coming down to Joe's Teeny Weeny Podcast featuring Views. We have a special guest today, and we have our first ad read.

Um, guys, are you fucking serious?

Uh, come on down to John's Lawn Mowing Service. Don't be an ass, cut your grass. And our first guest is Jason— Jason Nas— no, you're reading it wrong.

I'm reading the call sheet.

It says Jason. It was a misspelling. Misspelling.

That's all the time we have for Joe's Podcast.

I didn't even get to go on the podcast. What's this? That's bullshit.

You know, it's so short, but I regret it so much. It's, um, that is, that is an incredibly horrible podcast.

Can I get booked again?

No.

On the podcast?

You also can't.

I had like no time. You also ate up the whole show.

Stop staring at Joe. I'm having security kick him out now. That's it, guys. We don't need him. Um, well, that was a Joe's Teeny Weeny Podcast. That's probably the best segment ever.

I didn't even get to talk.

Joe actually, Joe yesterday told me that he wants to try to win a Streamy next year for best podcast. And he wants to compete against us, which I think is a little fucked.

I told him he should just put it out, just the 25 seconds on iTunes.

He should just start selling that and make it a dollar. No, I didn't see that. Yeah, Joe made an actual call sheet for like a call sheet that you would have on a set for Jason to come and show up for his teeny weeny podcast.

My name was misspelled.

Oh shit.

Jason Nasr.

Okay, let me say this. The other day, you and Trisha got into a big fight. Huge. I was taking a nap. This was in my vlog.

I felt so bad for you.

That's okay. I was taking a nap. I woke up, and you guys were in the middle of a fucking argument. Wow.

It was great.

What was the argument about?

Thanksgiving, of course.

I'm assuming it was about like— yeah, it was about like spending— like, who, who's spending time with who. Yeah, yeah. I was like, what dinner am I going to— am I going to get to have dinner with your actual family? Yeah, that type of thing.

Yeah, basically. Like, yeah, I, I was gonna go to my ex-wife's house, but like, I can't bring Trisha there, so I have to choose between, you know, her or my kids. But I was like, well, I'll go with you earlier in the day and then I'll go see my kids.

Sure.

Or something like that, or go see your dad.

We were talking about this in the car the other day, and how like, because Trisha wants— Trisha wants to go to this dinner with his ex-wife.

Yeah.

Even though his ex-wife and Trisha don't get along that much, right? They've never met. They've never met, but they just like, theoretically, they don't get along. Like, they're not— yeah, they're not dying to meet each other. That's the best way to put it.

Yeah. Um, I mean, I shouldn't speak for my ex-wife.

Yeah. But Zane the other day in the car was like, Trisha comes to the dinner, dressed as a sexy turkey.

Oh yeah.

Um, I mean, yeah, that's—

yeah, I will— I'll have to sort this out.

So yeah, you guys were in a fight, right in the middle, like right, right in front of me.

Yeah, we woke— we woke David up screaming at each other. Yeah, because I just get to the point where I'm like, listen, I see her side in it, I understand what she's saying, but then I have my side too, and then that's it. And then I went to the place of That's it. I can't do this anymore.

Yeah, you guys were screaming at each other and I didn't know what to do. I was sitting there really awkwardly.

We weren't screaming at each other, but it was pretty— it was pretty— it was heated.

It was heated.

I try not to scream.

And I was like— I was at the perfect third wheel.

You were.

I was—

so you turned your camera on.

Until I turned my camera on and I started filming it. And the most awkward part of it was like when you were mad and you wanted to leave. Yeah, but I wasn't making any moves. Like, I was just sitting on the couch.

Yeah.

And you— and you didn't want to go "Let's go, David," because that would be fucked up, 'cause I'm also Trisha's friend. So you were kind of like, "Okay, I'm gonna leave now." But I was just still sitting on the couch, and I didn't wanna leave because I wanted to see the fight end.

Yeah. No, it was actually good you were there, 'cause I would've just left.

You would've just left. And I was gonna tell you that after. I'm like, "Maybe the next time you have a fight with her, you should just stay there, because if you leave, then it bothers you the entire day, and then you resolve it the next day anyway." So might as well just— that's what I would do when I was in fights. Is I try not to leave. I would always just stay there until it's resolved.

Wait it out.

Because I knew we were going to figure it out in like 20, 30 minutes. So what's the point of leaving and being upset about it the entire day?

Yeah, she's funny. She gets over it really quick.

Yeah, she gets— I mean, I mean, so can you.

Because she's two people.

She's— you are too.

You are. I am too. It's true.

Um, there's a, there's a Disney— I, I, by the way, guys, when I read these like article posts, I read them just as they come in, so I don't even know if they're good. But Disney employees say the theme parks are popular for scattering cremated ashes. Oh, holy shit.

I didn't know. I wasn't listening. I was thinking about what I just said and if Trisha's gonna be mad. Say it again.

The Disney employees are saying that theme parks are popular for scattering cremated ashes.

I love you, baby. I love you, baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Fuck. Did you hear?

No. Let's do it one more time.

Goddamn it. Disney employees are saying that the theme parks are popular for scattering cremated ashes.

God, I'm so out. I'm so done with Disney.

What?

Just people are just so— Trish is so into Disney, and it's just like, oh, she wants to like live this Disney life and go Disney bounding. Do you know what Disney bounding is?

No.

What's it called, Joe? Bounding? It's like, it's basically like you, you like dress very subtly like the Disney characters and walk around as the characters, but it's very subtle. Like if you go to like John Stamos's Instagram page, like they went Disney bounding and they're dressed as—

it's called— there's a word for it?

Yeah, or something like Disney bounding or bounding. And Trisha, she's— we're going to Disney World in a couple weeks and she's already like bought outfits for each day.

And is this like a sexual kink?

No, no, it's just people that are like really into Disney. And for some reason it, it doesn't connect with me at all. Like it's too—

it, it seems like people really love Disney.

It's— I, I can't be that into something that's like so corporate.

Did I, did I tell you?

Are you into Disney?

Well, did I tell you the one time I did go to Disney? Yeah, I may have talked about this on podcast. I love repeating stories though. I went with my friend. His dad, like, his dad was part of a company and they would shell out $100 grand, a couple hundred grand on Disney every year. I think, I think I definitely talked about this. And, um, and, and they would give you a card. They'd have like the best suites booked. Yeah, in the Disney, Disney World. So a huge, huge place. Yeah, the best suites booked. And it'd give you a card that would give you access to everything in Disney. Everything and all the food, everything in the gift shop is free. Everything in the gift shop. It's a credit card.

Oh, wow.

And it's just for Disney stuff. So all you can eat. You know, I was with my friend and he was just like, you want me to buy you pizza? And pizza's fucking expensive. It's like $14 a slice or whatever.

Sure.

So it was like all the pizza I could eat, all the slushies I had, all the sodas, all the gifts I got were free. And that was my first Disney World experience. And I felt— like I was on another planet. But yeah, I'm not the biggest fan of Disney. Not because I don't like it, but because I just don't like walking around that much. I get really tired. I mean, that's why I stopped going to church, is because I hated standing. And that's honestly, if you know what, if Christianity, if it was okay to stand or to sit during the entire portion of the mass, I feel like I would have been more connected to it, genuinely, because I was so lazy as a kid that I was disconnected from the whole church experience because I had to stand. And I would spend so much of my focus on, like, keeping my body up because I was so lazy that I would just not listen to what was going on in church. But every time I was sitting, I was like, oh, I can do this. This is kind of cool. It's like watching a play. I can watch church.

Maybe a different religion for you.

Maybe like Yeah, don't— like, are there other religions where people just kind of kneel?

Yeah, there definitely is.

Those are the ones I'm going to look into.

You don't want to misspeak and get lit up on Twitter.

Yeah, no. I'm going to go through all the religions and see which one spends the least amount of physical force on their religion, and I'm just going to join it.

I'm going to say something about each religion that I don't actually know and then just get railed on on Twitter. Sure. Yeah.

Yeah, go for it.

That's what I'm going to do right now. OK. Well, the Christians— Buddhism.

Buddhism.

I talked to a comedian last night, a guy I know, like a really good comedian, and I was asking him, I was like, what's the clubs like now? Like, what's—

oh yeah, like, what are you allowed to say?

What's the temperature like? And he was like, dog, he's like, you have no fucking idea what's going on.

Like, you can't make a joke about anything anymore.

No. And this is like a pretty liberal, liberal comedian, you know, like his views and stuff. And he's just like, people are just getting fucking killed.

Left and right, but only on Twitter?

No, in the clubs too. Oh, I was only asking about the clubs.

People are getting offended inside the clubs? Yeah.

Wow. And he said it's really hard too if you say anything about Trump one way or the other, you're fucked. So he's like, even if you make a joke about Trump or you make a joke about liberals, like, the fucking audience just ignites.

Like, oh, we went— we went—

people can't take it.

We went to a, um, we went to a play— not a play, we went to a show in Vegas. Do you remember Absinthe?

Yeah, I went with you.

Yeah, we went to Absinthe.

I'm your friend.

Yeah, that was fucking you. Okay, um, we went to Absinthe, and that show is, is just on the nose racist. But like, but was it like— I'm not saying like racist, like so high. I'm not saying like racist racist, I'm just saying like stereotype racist, like nothing, nothing to hurt anybody.

What was in there that was racist? I don't remember. I—

you want me to repeat it and get fucked on Twitter?

Yeah, exactly.

I'm not, I'm not I'm not saying like it was like, it was like people, everyone was there was having like, it was enjoying themselves. But I was just surprised that it was getting away with so much. It was like stereotype racist. It wasn't like, it wasn't like, right, we hate these kinds of people, get the fuck out of here. It was like, it was like very stereotypical racist that wouldn't fly on Twitter. But like in person, everyone seemed like they were enjoying it.

Oh, right. I remember now. Yeah. A lot of the jokes were like, yeah, yeah. There were jokes at different ethnicities' expense.

I'm literally even scared to fucking repeat them.

Just say it. Who cares?

I don't want to.

I know, but I don't want to.

Okay, then don't.

I just start crying. Don't make me fucking say it.

I think— I think too, a lot of— I think too, a lot of what we see on Twitter sometimes is like— I think that some of like the younger people on Twitter are figuring out how they feel about things I'm gonna get into trouble.

No, I think, I think what it is is there's a lot of younger people that— I think what's— I think why people are getting more and more sensitive is because, because Twitter— I've said this before— because Twitter's— Twitter and social media spreads beliefs easier, right? And the, and the, and the more like just beliefs, like the not racist beliefs, or like the more like moral beliefs rise to the top, which they should, which they should. But sometimes with those are like super like specific beliefs that like, do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

So like, so like kids will, kids will pick up on that a lot easier. So that's why everyone on Trump, everyone on Twitter hates Trump, because like these kids want, these kids want to have it even know anything about Trump, right? I'm not defending Trump at all, but I'm just saying like a kid, a random kid who has no idea about politics will just pick up on the fact that everyone hates Trump and now everyone hates Trump, you know I mean? And that's just how Twitter is. So if someone finds curtains offensive, like curtains on your windowsill offensive, then these kids will pick up on the fact that, oh, there's a group.

Yeah, that's what I was—

there's a community that hates curtains. And honestly, I'm starting to understand why. Like, I hate curtains now too. It's easier to pass along information on Twitter, so it's easier to get your side.

Do you think people write things just because they know they'll get a lot of likes?

Yeah, I think so.

You do?

Yeah, but isn't that like what— isn't that what like everything's about? Like on social media is like who can get the most likes. I'm not saying everybody can do this, but I'm saying there's definitely people that just do that 100%, like that don't mean what they're saying.

That's what's funny about like social media is like—

I mean like I'll make a Trump joke on Twitter, right?

No, you won't.

I wouldn't, I wouldn't, but like—

Yeah, you wouldn't.

I would just to get likes even though I know nothing about politics.

You don't even tweet.

I know, but I'm just, I'm just saying like that I would be a type of person that would be like, I'll make a joke about Trump at Trump's expense, right, without knowing anything about politics.

Well, that's different. A joke is different.

Oh, okay.

A joke is funny. Oh, you're saying, I'm saying like just saying something. Yeah, I don't know, a joke has more value to me.

I don't know, but regardless, yeah, things are more sensitive. But, but also at the same token as things being more sensitive, things are a lot— people are a lot more educated about certain things. You know what I mean? And like, it does, it makes the world a better place and it makes it like a weirder place. Yeah, it's like a catch-22.

We were talking about, um, that's my insight.

That's my fucking 22-year-old insight on how the world's changing. I hate when I get like sort of deep about stuff because I look back and I'm like, why the fuck was I talking so seriously? Like, I'm, I literally, as, as I was talking about that, I literally texted my assistant to go pick up Chipotle for me. Like, That's like—

let's talk about the blowtorch you own.

Um, no, but what were you gonna say?

I wasn't gonna say anything.

You're an empty shell today, aren't you?

I really am.

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And David's moving in with the owner of SeatGeek, Ian, too.

Yeah, I'm gonna—

they're going on a boat together and they're going around the world.

That's what I want to do. That's my next plan, not to go around the world on a boat, but I want a boat montage. I've never had one. I've never had a montage on a boat. I want like a yacht montage.

Really? All the All the boats we've been on?

No, I'm saying like a yacht, like a 70, like a 150-foot yacht, like a cool-ass yacht. That's, that's my dream. So if anybody owns a yacht and they want to like give me it for a day and I can plug whatever you need to plug, I will, I will go and make a montage on your boat.

I would love that.

There's a foot fetish model, she's 33, and she's making a little over £100,000 a year— £100,000, sorry, £100,000 a year selling unwashed socks. And trainers to fans.

Oh wow.

It's amazing. Sometimes she sells them for $20.

I used to sell my panties.

Really?

Yeah.

How was that?

It's lucrative.

Could you imagine selling your shit for $20 to $200?

She sells her shit? Did you say— I thought you said—

No, she sells her underwear for $200. Have you ever bought anything like that?

Buy your merch.

That's pretty close to shit, I'll tell you that. Every time I say anything bad about my merch, the company I work with always contacts me and they're like, hey, uh, let's, let's be more positive about the merch, huh?

Is that what they say?

Yeah, even Natalie will be like, don't say that, stop saying that. Did you see, uh, what Elon Musk tweeted the other day?

Yeah, I think you read it to me.

He said, um, he basically said Tesla Advanced Summon ready in 6 weeks. So basically what it is is you'll, you'll be able to drive your your car to your phone location, and it can follow you around like a pet if you hold down the button on a Tesla app. Wow, nuts. So the way these cars work is like— the way my Tesla works is it has, it has like all the, all the like cameras and everything set up for it to fully drive itself, but that feature is not out yet. So they can update it just like your cell phone, right? Which is fucking incredible. It's like one day I'll wake up and it'll be able to drive itself. So like, so like they're saying like a year or two, you'll be able to go to the grocery store, you'll hop out of your car right outside of Target, and it'll go find a parking spot for you and it'll park itself. And then when you're coming out, you can hit a button and it'll come pick you up again. It'll come pick you up right in front of the store, which is ridiculous.

So your car right now, the one in the driveway.

Yeah.

Has all those capabilities.

Yes.

And they're going to unlock that in 6 weeks.

No, no, not that.

Why do you say this shit?

What do you mean?

I always hear this, this driving, self-driving car thing has just been so frustrating to hear people tell these stories all the time.

No, because—

I hear them all the time.

Right now it's like, because you can't have a car fully drive itself yet because there's no laws made for it yet.

Right.

So like, I don't know how that's gonna work. Like, whose fault is it when a car is fully driving itself?

What's happening in 6 weeks?

In 6 weeks, you'll be able to have full control of the car like on your app.

Right.

So you can literally drive it around like an RC car. Basically, that's what it is.

So you could go to Target and have it come pick you up, I guess.

But I think I would have to be the one controlling it on my, on my phone.

Oh, you'd have to be driving it.

Yeah.

But it's really dangerous.

But, but yeah, but, but the way, the way it also works, the Tesla's incredible. I've seen it. Have you seen, there's a video I think on YouTube where the Tesla predicted a car accident 3 cars ahead of it. So like it started, our Tesla was driving on the highway and the horn started to beep. Like it just started to honk by its own because its computer showed that there was an accident that was about to happen. And 2 seconds later, cars hit each other.

Holy shit.

It's fucking nuts. And Elon Musk, they're trying to get it to the point where—

Inception.

It's crazy. They're trying to get your car to the point where if you're not using it and the car is just sitting in your driveway, it will go out and it will pick up people and drop people off like Uber. And then you'll be able to earn money from your car working by itself. And then you wake up and the car's back in your garage. How nuts is that?

Yeah, that's pretty dope.

That's fucking insane. Your car will literally be an Uber and could potentially pay for itself because it will be picking up and working for you.

Is that what you're gonna do? Are you gonna send it out and make a little cash?

Well, the problem with that is it's electric, so it'll have to come back and it'll have to charge real quick.

Right.

So you don't want it out all night 'cause it won't be ready for you in the morning.

I hate all these.

Your car just have a mind of its own and you find it at a drive-in movie theater by itself. Where the fuck have you been? I need to get to work. Sorry, sorry, I wanted to catch this flick. It starts talking to you. We're not far from that, dude. The future is so close.

Sounds like that train I used to be in love with.

I was at— yeah, I was at, uh, I was at Target the other day and I was trying to look for a parking spot. Oh, you were with me. And there was the first 4— the first 4 parking spots were like It was like a new fucking app or something. It was like curbside pickup, where they bring your groceries out to your car. So you order it in Target, and you park in the spot, and just like at a drive-through, they bring your food or your groceries to your car. Like someone at Target picks out all your stuff. That's crazy.

They have fork to mouth too.

What's fork to mouth?

The guy comes out and he feeds you.

Honestly, it's so close to that. And I feel like in some countries they have, They have drive-through grocery stores. Have you seen that?

We just drive, just battle through the front doors.

You just drive right through and you fucking go through all the shelving and you hope you catch some of the food you wanted. No, but like there's food, there's like, there's like these conveyor belts that the food comes out on and you drive right up to it and you just grab what you need.

Really?

Yeah. And if you miss your food, you have to wait 45 minutes for it to come around again.

Have you ever been on an elevator?

Huh?

Have you ever been on an elevator?

No. What is that?

So it's like, it's like, like, you know what stairs are?

Yeah, for sure.

Okay, so it's like motorized. It's like a little box you get in.

It's a box?

Yeah, I'll show you.

How do you climb?

No, it's, it's motorized.

I don't know what that means. Were you ever, were you ever around for things that were like, holy shit, this is the future? Like color television? Like what, how was it? Wait, are you that old? I actually don't even know.

They had color television before I was born. Okay, but yeah, but I know what you mean.

But you were around black and white TVs, right?

I had a black and white TV. Get the fuck out. I mean, we had a couple— if you were poor— I mean, like, they were out, but we were poor. We— I definitely had one. So you had a black and white TV and you'd have to like turn the dial, it'd be like, really? So like in Boston it'd be Channel 56 and it would only play Charlie Chaplin. What?

And it would only play Charlie Chaplin movies. Oh yeah, that's nuts. And then when you first saw the first like color TV, what was What was your reaction like? I'm like, yeah, oh, that's it.

I mean, it wasn't— I meant my uncle had a color TV. Color TV came out before I was born. But you know what was weird is like rotary phones, weird. Or you know what's weird is like when you watch Star Wars and like Princess Leia shows up in a hologram. Yeah, you're like, fuck, iPhone's better than that.

Rotary phones, that is weird.

Like George Lucas couldn't think of— what he thought of, we actually have better than what he thought of. What do you mean?

Wasn't that how things work? Everyone that's predicted—

like, Star Wars was 400 years in the future.

Yeah, I don't know.

You know what I'm saying?

No, I still don't agree with you.

You don't agree with me?

No. You're trying to say that George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, should have predicted a better future than all of mankind? That's what you're saying?

You should have predicted a better future than what we have now.

That's such a bad argument. I just want to punch you in the face.

Um, Bring it on. I would love it.

No, but when cell phones came out, when like flip phones came out and stuff, that was different, right? Because I know cell phones were originally as big as like suitcases, right?

Yeah, they used to make— my dad's friend used to have a car phone.

What's that?

It's just a car that was plugged in, a phone that was plugged into your car.

Oh, wow. So it only worked when your— only would work in the car when your car's on.

Yeah.

Wow.

And you couldn't go anywhere else. It was wired into the car. It wasn't like a cell phone or even a cordless phone.

That almost actually sounds better than having a cell phone. I'd like to have a car phone that's just in my—

Get one put in.

Like, if I could have like just a phone I could pick up and it's wired to my car and it answers all my calls, that'd be really cool.

Just go all 1980s in everything you do. Get a fax machine in there.

I'm gonna get a black and white TV.

Tons of Coke on your nose.

B. I don't know, I got so silent. I was like trying to think of a joke, but I didn't want to make it seem like I do coke.

Oh, I went to Jake— I went to the Team 10 house.

Oh yeah, you went to visit Jake Paul?

We— Trisha and I went to visit him.

How was that?

Great.

Yeah, yeah. Did you like him?

I have to say, I knew him a little bit in Vine, like I talked to him a couple times during Vine. Exactly the same and really genuine. Like, I've met I met a lot of famous people who are famous on his level. Super genuine.

Yeah, I also feel like he's had a lot of learning experiences to get him to that point, and he's only 21.

And like, he was really nice to us. His chef made us food. He let us shoot whatever we wanted. He was like, shoot whatever you want.

Wow, he's a chef?

Yeah, he's got a dope-ass chef.

Does he have a cool house?

Does he have a cool house? It's— I actually thought of you when I was there. I was like, Fuck.

I was like, David's nothing.

No, I was like, David needs something like this because what he has at his disposal is like, he literally has a mini him walking around. Like, we met little Jake Paul.

Oh, you met the little kid?

And like, that's cool. Like, if you want to do a bit where someone has a mini him walking around, he's there from 8 to 10. I think he lives there.

Oh, that's awesome.

He's cute as hell. Cute little kid.

We should kidnap him for a vlog.

You have to sign in when you go to the house.

Oh really?

Yeah, it's like going to Google.

Even you had to sign in?

We should kidnap that kid.

Should we kidnap Little Jake?

I mean, in a nice way.

Yeah, like take him for ice cream, but definitely keep him for, for a couple days. Keep, keep him so like, so like people get stressed out about it.

He looks like—

but we treat him with respect. We'd obviously like, you know, go watch movies with him and get him food. It would be super nice to him. But like, but we would have like, I mean, he'd be ours. Like, there's no way.

That's like almost a good idea, but not.

Guys, uh, please don't tweet at Jake Paul saying we're gonna kidnap the mini version of him. I want, I want it to be a surprise when the kid's missing. No, I'm kidding. We definitely wouldn't. That's really scary.

Um, and it was interesting. He was talking about like what he's doing next, and I was like, oh, it sounds like he's moving on from like the content he was doing, and it'll be, it'll be interesting to see what he does.

Nice. Well guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Um, thank you for watching, for participating, for listening. Tweet us if you have any suggestions, or, um, if you have— if you hate Joe's Teeny Weeny Podcast and you want us to cancel it for good, let us, uh, let us know that for sure. Guys, go buy our merch, um, that feeds our families, and we'll see you guys later. My name is Jeff.

Bye-bye, guys.