My Parents Don’t Like My Boyfriend

What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. You know what I think about? I think about how do we start a podcast? You know, because every podcast you got to start with like a hook to get people to listen.

Yeah, I'm waiting for it.

What do you think is the thing that we can say that would turn away the most viewers?

And like, I literally have something. I was thinking about it today.

Really? Yeah.

Okay. Say it. It's just Natalie speaking.

I'm out.

Didn't know she was back. Damn, you killed it, Matt. 300,000 people just turned this off. Bye. You later. Because why I was thinking about it and that I'm excited to hear it is because obviously if you say something really outrageous, fucked up, it's not going to work. Only more people will listen.

Yeah, right.

Like if you go crazy and you like say something really racist, sexist, something, people are going to tune in 30 times more.

Yeah.

The best listeners we've ever listened to. People love that shit. Yeah. But what is it that you could say that everyone would be like, okay, Natalie, what was it?

Well, I wanted to come in here today and say this to you just to like see what your reaction would be.

Okay.

It has to be like, you guys, I got my period today.

Oh, that's actually up there.

It's pretty good, right?

I don't even want to do this anymore.

Yeah, why don't we try tomorrow?

I— yeah, I hate— I hate when— I hate—

I hate when girls get their period.

Yeah, why? Why do they do that?

It's literally—

wait, hold on, hold on, I'm being sexist. I'm bringing in the viewers. Um, no, no, yeah, I don't know. I was thinking about it. I couldn't— I couldn't come up with it.

Period's tough, man. I feel bad for people.

Oh, you are actually going to go into—

feel bad for people that get their period. Yeah, that's like— I can't imagine if I was bleeding between my legs every 4 weeks.

What do you think is tougher, like watching like a sports game between two teams that you like, one team that you love and another team you hate, and your team's down.

Yeah.

Or like pregnancy.

What? I hope you're kidding.

You're bringing them in.

The numbers are climbing. We're number one in the world. Hot take, but I love to take. It's true. I love when the Eagles are fucking winning.

I wonder if pregnant— I mean, I know pregnancy is tough. I'm wondering if I could— I'm wondering how I would deal with it. I'd probably be a real bitch about it for sure.

Well, my question about pregnancy is like, would I be in the room when my wife is having— I guess that's up to my wife, right? Because like, I've heard some—

What are you saying? Yes, of course.

You're definitely going to be in the room, but you don't have to be like in her vagige.

Do you know any guys that are not there?

Yeah, I've heard this from plenty of women saying that they would never want the husband to be in there.

Oh, really?

Are these women that have actually had children or just girls our age that haven't had children yet?

Well, does it matter if you've had children or not? Because like, you have to make that decision before you have the child, right?

Yeah.

Of where he's standing.

Once you're pregnant, like, I'm sure you're like, I need you in there. Probably. Yeah.

If you've actually told me.

I mean, yeah, fuck that.

I don't want to say that.

That's where you got it from.

Okay, wait, was that you that said that?

You don't want it from Natalie?

Did you say that you don't want your husband anywhere near?

I mean, yeah, but like, how could you just fucking play like—

Well, because now I'm a monster for thinking that the only girl we have to pull so far, it's 100% of women I know don't want their husband inside.

I mean, no, I think my mind has changed on that.

Well, I understand what Natalie was saying. Like, if you're— if you're— what, Heath was it? Heath was like the one— who was it? It was either Heath or Todd that's like, I want to pull him out and name him Excalibur.

Oh, Jesus. I have no idea who said that.

I think one of our friends was like, I want to pull the kid out myself.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds like Todd. Something Todd might say.

And then they made like an Excalibur joke about it.

Yeah, maybe. So let's not pin it on either Heath or Todd because they're not here, but definitely the same.

Yeah, that I couldn't do. I don't think I could be like—

No way.

Watching it happen.

I watched it. Really? I watched it twice.

Really?

And I watched the C-section and that is rough.

Oh, no.

That's where they cut your stomach open?

Oh my God, yes. No, they cut your—

What?

Your undercarriage open.

Wait, what? I thought a C-section was right under your belly.

Not a C-section, it's something else.

What operation were you watching?

The butt section. Oh.

When they snip it. Really?

Yeah, they have to snip between the—

Oh my God, ew, ew, you're wrong. Shut the fuck up.

Wait, the area between—

Yes, they've got to cut it.

Charlie's head was so fucking fat. And God bless her, she's beautiful, but she does, you know, she had a big head.

The area between the asshole and the vagina.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

My body's tingling.

That was fucking crazy.

That was rough.

Terrible.

I'm saying it for me. I mean, it wasn't rough for me.

No, it must have been horrible for you. It was awful, David. Why would your wife do that to you? Wow. Well, okay. Yeah, I think I'll play it by ear. But listen, I went to some Valentine's Day parties. This is on topic of like being married and stuff. This girl gave me really good advice. Because it was all about like dating and stuff.

Yeah.

And, and you had to wear white to the party if you were single. So me and Zane went together. We were wearing white. And then there were these other two girls also wearing white.

Yeah.

And we just hung out with them the entire time.

Nice.

It was really fun. It was cool. But like, I just have like— I had no energy anyway. I was explaining to her that I am looking for someone and she's like, you shouldn't do that. And I'm like, why? And she's like, because then, then you're projecting your hopes onto a person. Which I thought was really interesting. Like, what now?

Is this the first time you've heard that?

Yes.

Really?

I'm interested. Keep going.

Well, that was kind of it. It was just the fact that like, okay, like, which this is totally what I do. Like every time I meet a new girl, I'm like, I hope you're this, I hope you're this. I hope like, it's like things that like rather like if it kind of finds me, like you fall in love with the person for what they are as opposed to what you want them to be.

Oh, very good, David.

So yeah.

So any luck that night?

No, absolutely not. I went home. Well, now I'm doing the whole thing where I'm going to try to forget it. I'm not even going to— I'm going to try to not even talk about love on the podcast anymore. No, no.

It's such a great topic.

Yeah, I know. But it's— but guys, for me, I need to figure this out.

Yeah.

Actually, let me tell you one more thing about it. Natalie and I are planning possibly a European getaway.

Oh, yeah.

For a whole month in the summertime.

Yeah.

So she can find her Prince Charming, literally her Prince Charming, like the Prince of Greece or somebody. And then, yeah, we could find our European counterparts.

Yeah. You think you'd find it in Europe more easily?

Well, I think like something about like being abroad, just for me personally, at least, like I feel like more open to like meeting people for some reason. I don't know.

Right.

And I also just, I feel like David and I both like are attracted to European people, like him European girls and me European men.

What country do you like?

Time out. Yeah. Okay.

Like I love a Spanish man.

Yes. I'm same with that. But woman.

We're going to Spain.

But I like girls.

You love a Spanish. Yeah, girl, of course we knew that. You didn't have to say that.

It's obvious. Cut that out. Cut the part out because it's assumed. Why would I have to? Yeah. So I feel like that's kind of next on my list. I don't know. But also, I understand. And then Zane, I don't know if I should say this. I'm going to say it anyway. Zane showed me his dating apps. That man is crushing it.

Really? Yeah.

Like actual matches?

Yeah, he's not pretending. No, like, the girls that have messaged, that have matched with him and messaged him first, really are like the most beautiful women on the planet. I couldn't believe it. And Zane was just like, I don't know what's happened, but like the last 2 weeks it's completely changed for me. And he's like, this is who's messaging me. And he hasn't even responded to like, I'd say 80% of them.

Wow.

Yeah, it's incredible.

Do you get that?

No, I'm not on dating apps.

Oh, you're not? Why not?

I'm doing it the old-fashioned way. I'm gonna get on dating apps soon. I think it's enough is enough.

I do. I've seen Zane's dating profile, like, on when I scroll through the dating app, and he actually has like a good profile. Like, he has good pictures and he has like a good sense of humor, you know?

Yeah, this is really goofy, and he's ripped now too.

He doesn't use that on his dating profile.

He doesn't?

Like, he's not like shirtless.

Yeah, you can't like—

he's in good shape, he feels good about himself.

Yeah, and I was going through and then the girl that we were with there was like going through her Raya showing us all the guys. Yeah. And like 1 in every 4 guys opens up with like a shirtless photo, which I think is so fucking crazy. Like, it's 20— you know, coming out of my mouth, I've posted like 18 posts about me being shirtless. But like, on your dating profile, like Yeah, like that's, that's where you probably shouldn't even put it ever, right? Like, it's like it's 2025. I feel like that's kind of where you got to cool it on that. I don't know.

I think it's fun.

I mean, like, if you're going to do it, but, but I think—

sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. These are photos like that are strictly of the body. Like, they're not like having fun at the beach. Like, it's very like model-esque. Like, I'm, I'm showing you my abs in this. Like pictures I've taken for like my body reveal.

Sure, sure.

Like stuff like that shouldn't be on Like my dating— or maybe they— maybe I'm the one that's doing it wrong. What the fuck do I know? I've been single for 9 years. Oh my God, no one should be taking advice from me.

Something's really funny about it.

Let's talk about that period thing that now he's got going on.

I got spit on at 7-Eleven.

Oh Jesus, what?

Yeah, wait, how are you— how are you— how did you not open the podcast with this? What do you mean you got spit on at 7-Eleven?

I got spit on. There's this homeless guy that Naveen—

what the fuck—

Naveen like helps out He was at like CVS one day and Naveen like saw him. She came back and she was like, she was like, I bought him a coloring book and I bought— I'm like, you bought that guy? The crazy guy? Like the dangerous guy at CVS?

Like you've interacted with him before?

I've seen him. He's always there and he's fucking nuts and he's scary. And she's like, yeah, I bought him a coloring book and I got him water and I got him something to eat. And I was like, wow, that's really nice.

You got jealous because you're the jealous type. I know it.

No, I didn't.

You confronted this homeless guy.

No, I didn't. I didn't. And then maybe I don't know, 3 days later, I'm in 7-Eleven buying her a Celsius, and, um, and she calls me and she's like, she's like, the, the homeless guy, the homeless guy, the homeless guy! And I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, he's here, he's here, he's here at 7-Eleven! And I was like, okay, okay. She's like, he's flipping out, he's flipping out! The guy I bought the, the, the coloring book for, the guy I bought the coloring book for!

Was she in the car?

She's in the car and she's watching me in the glass. She's like, he's coming in, he's coming in! And you know how sometimes like—

wait, why, wait, why is she I thought she likes him. Why was she— why is she panicking?

Because he's having like— he's flipping out.

Oh, he's having an episode.

He's— she's fine. She's finally seeing what I've been seeing for years. Oh, I'm like, this guy—

she's always catching him at the best.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so she's working me up, but normally if a guy's flipping out, I'm like, okay, I'll just avoid him. So then I start to freak out and I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck. And I start to leave and I lock eyes with him and he just goes and he just spits all over my hand. And then he's like raging.

Oh my God.

And then I just left.

Were you inside when this happened?

I'm inside. And then I felt really bad because I left.

Did you put him in a headlock?

No, I left the woman there at 7-Eleven. The woman who works there, like, by herself, which was like— I don't— I felt shitty about that.

But you don't think she deals with him every day?

I'm sure she does. But I almost felt like it was best if I just removed myself.

And left her to die? Yeah.

Yeah. No, no. That is one way. But I also thought, like, like maybe that kind of—

like that was setting him off.

Yeah, like male energy was like setting him off, and he's not gonna like beat her up.

Why didn't Naveen come in and like calm him down like Black Widow would with the Hulk?

Yeah, she could have. You want to talk about Kanye?

Yeah, sure.

What do you think about Kanye?

Wow, this is kind of our first time talking about tea.

Yeah, you're Jewish.

Yeah. And when he went crazy a few months ago— or sorry, when he went all Nazi like the last time, me and Charlie—

I think crazy is fine.

I don't know. I don't know if he's crazy. I don't know if he's crazy. I know, but okay, fine, great, whatever.

Yeah, going Nazi and going crazy.

We kind of— we're fucking there. Charlie and I love Kanye, and we kind of like passed it off. We were like, uh, you know, and, uh, yeah, it's just Kanye, blah blah blah. And then this last time the Super Bowl was insane. It was insane.

Yeah, I couldn't believe it. So like, if you don't know, but he promoted— he had a great Super Bowl ad like he does all the time. And you go on the website Yeezy.com and it was one shirt and had a swastika, which is fucking insane. How is that possible? And I can't— or maybe he's like, maybe he's doing it backwards. Maybe he's Maybe he's— I'm still giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he's finding the racists by who's ordering it.

Clearing them out.

Yeah, it's clearly— it's a social experiment, right? He's not really a Nazi.

Well, yeah, and then, you know, he also—

what do you mean social experiment?

Well, that's what he says it is. It's a social— he's basically seeing how far he can go. Yeah, what can I get away with? That's what he's doing. Now, I will tell you, his song came on in my car the other day, and I was kind of like That was the first time. And I love Kanye.

Which is so weird. I was on the treadmill.

Yeah.

And I never really listened to music on the treadmill, but I brought my headphones this time. And yes, I had that same experience.

Yeah.

And I'm normally like, whatever, separate the artist from the art.

Me too.

That whole shit. This time it felt really bizarre.

You know, I was going through my closet today. I got rid of my Yeezys.

No, you didn't.

I did.

Oh my God. Really? You're taking a stand.

Yeah, I put them in my, like, to get rid of.

What did you do with your swastika shirt that you just ordered? She removed her Yeezys to make room for the new season. Had to get rid of last year's Yeezy drop to make room for my new swastika Nikes. Yeah, that's crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I hope he figures it out.

Yeah, I don't know.

There's never been anyone like him. I mean, even Michael Jackson kind of was odd, but he kept that all to himself.

Yeah.

And Michael Jackson wasn't like— you can't compare those odds.

In terms of talent, you can compare them. Oh, and in terms of eccentricness, you know, like Michael Jackson was pretty eccentric. He had a monkey and he, you know, he— oh, okay, was an odd kind of character.

Yeah, I know, but it's just hard. It's just— yeah, it's hard to say them in the same sentence when one of them's doing something so crazy.

Well, the other one did something pretty crazy too.

I'm done with this topic. I don't like talking about this shit because I don't know what's true.

Yeah. And you don't know. You might run into Kanye tonight. Yo, David, I heard what you said.

Oh, Kanye, we haven't released the episode.

I'm everywhere.

I'm in your walls, bro. I just got a DM as we're on the podcast. I'm sorry I'm reading my DMs during the podcast. It's just, you know, Hi, I have a views problem and wanted your advice. I'm in love with my best friend. Oh my God. This is— we got to call this chick. Should we call her?

Yes.

Okay.

That's great.

Hello?

Hi.

Oh my gosh. This is so crazy. Yeah.

Hello, RJ.

Hi.

You're on the podcast. So just like whatever you're going to say, just know that people will hear it. So can you give us your problem and we will give you our really good expertise and save your life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was hoping for.

Yeah, RJ, you've come to the right place. I know there's— I know you probably have friends and family that could help you, but nobody better than us.

No one better, and that's exactly why I text you. So I'm so happy.

Okay, hit us. What is it?

So I have been basically talking to one of my best friends. We've been friends for a while now, and we kind of been getting more serious, and We've kind of been more recently off and on, and I think a lot of it has to do with my family. Mostly like, I'm probably never going to accept him. And I think it's really conflicting for myself just because I don't know what to do.

Oh, okay. So can you explain why they wouldn't accept him?

Well, he is in a van and That's one of them.

Oh, he's in a band?

He's in a band, yeah.

Oh, okay. So he's like punk rock, tattoos, smoke cigarettes, drugs, alcohol?

No, it's more like he has different, um, goals in life than me. Because for me, like, I'm medical, I'm getting my bachelor's, all these things, you know.

So different life paths, different types of drugs. Different types of drugs, yes. Illegal. Right, right, right.

Legal drug dealer.

So they— yeah, yeah. So they want you— so you're assuming, you're assuming, not that your parents have outright said this, but you're assuming that your parents would want somebody that's more like on the path of being a lawyer or a teacher or something traditional.

Yeah, for sure. And I think a lot of it also has to do like, he, you know, different religious backgrounds, you know, like they, that's definitely one of them. And I think they just feel like I should be with someone who has more compatibility with my life.

And how long have you been seeing your best friend?

I would want to say, like, romantically, like, 2 months, but we've known each other for, like, over a year now.

Okay. Yeah. And how old are you?

Um, I'm 20.

20?

I just turned 20. Yeah.

Okay. Well, I know that the advice Jason's gonna give.

Yeah.

She's gonna be like, you're too young for love anyway.

No, no, no, no, I'm not gonna say that.

I completely agree. Like, I'm not an emotional thinker. I'm very logical. So for me, like, dealing with all this stuff is already, like, Mm, not the best.

By nature of the fact that you are concerned about what your parents have to say about what you're doing with your life, you might be too young to be in a relationship.

Okay.

It's almost what I'm saying. In other words, you have to get to a place in your life where it doesn't matter what your parents say, right?

Okay.

Yeah.

You know, let him cook. Is that— was that harsh?

No, it's not harsh. It's just like, I feel like if I'm calling in, yeah, I wouldn't want like the people on the other end to be like, try again next year.

No, no, I think that she should— I think she should not— you should not listen to your parents and you should sit your parents down and say, you know, at some point the parents become the kids. And that's what you have to do. You have to say, hey, this is— you got to be strong and you got to say, this is my guy, this is my man. And he's got a nose in his— he's got an earring in his nose or whatever. And he— and this is it. And, you know, you can love me this way or not at all.

How many tattoos does he have?

Zero.

Oh, what? This guy sounds great. Oh, so this is like more like Mumford and Sons. We're not talking like AC/DC.

No, no, no. He's like a— it's like an indie rock band.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Like Silver Lake vibes. Okay. So he'd live in Silver Lake if he was in California, go down into the trees. I'm sorry. I have to build his— the clubs he would attend to understand. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Like he's played at like the Roxy or like House of Blues, like stuff like that.

Are you talking about Harry Styles? Maybe. Well, okay. I do like Jason's advice and not that I need to contribute with my advice here, but I also think I was thinking, doesn't this feel like such a cliché? Like, my parents let me date the guy, and like, every time you see this shit in a movie, doesn't it always end with like, you just got to trust your own gut? How old are your parents?

They're 45.

Okay. They're quite young. Regardless. Regardless.

Ask her what her parents are like. Are they really buttoned down?

Yeah. What are your parents like? Are they like— are they Christians? Are they— do they go to church every— what's the vibe?

The vibe is yes, they're religious, and, um, but they've always been literally never strict on me, only when it comes to dating. Or like, you know, I think the— they just never really accepted the people I have liked before, so I think it's harder for them, you know.

Was there one relationship that like happened where that's something that triggered them, where maybe you were in danger, or maybe he was like treating you such a bad way where they maybe kind of don't trust your judgment as much?

Yes, for sure. I think mostly because a lot of the times that when I've been in relationships, I've usually hid it from them.

So you're saying every time you've dated somebody, your parents didn't like them?

Just the first time. The first— yeah, actually. Yeah. Every time I ever— yeah.

What happens when your parents see Mumford and Sons? What— the guy—

what do they say when they see your guy? Like, And he's your best friend, so they kind of know him. What's like— how do you know for a fact that they don't like him or they don't approve? What have they said?

They told me they don't think he's the person for me.

Are they giving her like an ultimatum?

Yeah. Are you getting like an ultimatum? Like, um, you have to move out of here if you date this guy, or like, you're dishonoring our family?

They haven't said that exactly. But I think, I think more so because so we did break off, like we did say like, oh, we're just gonna be friends. So like, that's the last thing I told him that, oh, we stopped talking because, you know.

Oh, wow.

Wait, you ended things because of this?

Yeah.

Oh, no, that's sad. No, no, no, that stinks.

And, but it also was like him as well because I, we both kind of agreed like it isn't fair that He also has to go through that, you know.

It also sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with your parents if you're respecting them so much on this. And you said that they don't really give you a hard time on anything other than this, right? So like you would say that your relationship is pretty fair with your parents other than this?

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I feel like they are like, like my, my friends too. And I think that's like the hardest thing is like the one thing I never could talk about things with them is like, you know, Your fire alarm needs the battery—

needs to be replaced.

The smoke alarm.

Sorry. So funny. Sorry.

RJ, that is the worst. That little chirp that comes and then—

I mean, we're going to have to hang up now because I was super distracted.

Does she live at home?

Yeah. Do you live at home with your parents?

I do.

Oh, and you have siblings? Only child for sure? No. What?

No, I'm a middle child.

Wow.

I have an older brother and a younger sister.

An older brother?

Wow, Natalie, calm down. Natalie heard older brother, she's fucking—

but he is 23.

Natalie, too young for me.

Yeah, that's a little too young.

Do you miss him?

Her older brother? No, no, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, if he's upstairs, go talk to your older brother. Yeah. Do you miss your friend boyfriend?

Yeah, I'm missing as much as I do. And I think I for sure miss like what we had.

You guys ended it romantically, but you guys are still friends.

Yeah.

I mean, you're young. Just have fun.

I think you're—

if he's— you're 20 years old, you're with your best friend. He's your best friend. You're obviously having good times. He's nice to you. If he's taking care of you, then who cares? Just enjoy it.

And you have to listen to who's saying this to you. Natalie, listen, her mom is a crack addict. There was moments where Natalie's mom would like track her down, come to the party she was at and pull her out and embarrass her in front of all her friends. So if Natalie's telling you to maybe just kind of look out for yourself, I think you owe that to yourself, especially in your 20s. Right, Jay? I mean, it's like if you were—

it's a grander problem here, which is her parents are overbearing. She's 18. She's an adult.

Oh, I understand.

But I mean, she's over 18. She's an adult. I'm just saying, like, that's, that's going to rear its head again and again. Like, she's going to have resentment towards her parents, and eventually, I mean, a couple years from now, she'll be like— she'll bring somebody else in, and that person won't be good enough. And I don't know, I just, I feel bad. Like, that sucks. She can't be with the guy that she loves.

So you're saying that that's how it should end, that she shouldn't even go back?

What?

We haven't given her the advice.

We do— we—

she doesn't know what to do. She's gonna hang up and all she's gonna think about is, I need new AA batteries. That's all. That's all that's good. That's the only thing she's learned from this.

I think if she loves him, she should go be with him.

Okay, that's it. That's final. Okay.

Okay.

And you have— and you have to report back to us in a month, even if you don't do it. Just like shoot me a DM. Now it'll go straight to my phone, so like I'll know. And be like, it didn't work. You fucked everything up. My parents kicked me out.

Also, I haven't replaced my batteries yet.

I'm living in my car.

Yeah, my parents kicked me out. The battery's been replaced. Are you being 100% honest that the only reason this relationship ended is because of your parents?

I feel like I can't be honest with them about what I really want.

No, no, but are you being, like, honest with yourself and with us that that that is the only reason the relationship didn't work is because of your parents. Because you're saying you loved him. Like, when I hear love, I'm like, oh yeah, it's just you two till the end. Like, fuck everyone. Like, that's what I think of, like, when I think of love is like, you just got to go get it. And if there's no— if there's no other reason, my recommendation from a guy who's been single 8 years is go get him.

Okay.

Is he your soulmate?

I like to believe that he was, and I want to believe that, and I feel like we are kind of like at a stage right now. It's like, okay, like, if it happens, like, it happens. If not, like, we'll still love each other, you know? Like, I still want the best for me, even if I don't end up with him. Like, you know, I want him to be happy.

This is a very compelling story. Would you be interested in selling me the movie rights?

I mean, can I get a cameo?

Sure, sure, you can start it.

Um, all right, RJ, well, I'm glad we just fixed everything in your life for you.

Um, was this helpful?

Rate us 1 through 10.

Yeah, please, please give us a rating. And we're going to send you the invoice right after we end the pod. So it's going to be $25 for that session. And if you want to follow up, it'll be another $10. Goddamn it. She goes, fuck, I knew they're going to fucking scam me. Appearance. All right, well, thank you. I don't know if we helped or not, but regardless, thank you for—

really?

Thanks for writing in, listening to the podcast. This is fun. We've never done this, but like, Well, thank you.

I really appreciate your guys' time. It was very unexpected.

Okay, good luck with the alarm and the guy.

Bye, RJ.

Bye. What a bitch. She was great. I'm sorry.

I was going to say the opposite. I thought that was great.

Yeah, wait, I'm kidding. What do you mean? I was going to say the opposite. Yeah, you're right. What did I just do to you? Wait, what the fuck was that?

Why did he say that? Most messed up thing I could have said. Yeah, I know, I know.

I think you're on autopilot and you're just like, yeah.

What I meant to say was that you were really great on the phone and it was like, it was much better than you just answering a question.

Oh yeah, no, I thought that was great. I want to do those more.

That was fun.

She was good. I really do hope if you're listening to this, you can, you can now message me whenever because I've opened the DM. So like, literally keep me updated on that.

It's so tough when people are that age too. It's like, well, It's her first love, you know? Yeah, first love is tough.

But also, like, if I'm in love with somebody, yeah, I don't care what my parents say. Like, I know I'm also like the— I moved out of my parents' house when I was 18 and like really went against the grain here by moving to LA from suburbs. Yeah, so like maybe I'm a little bit different in that regard. But like, I don't know, I think like love is like kind of trumps everything, no?

Sure.

I mean, if you're independent, yeah, and you can independently make choices like that, then yeah. But like, but independent, you're not even saying like financially, you're just saying like, well, financially independent, I would assume you're probably like living on your own, doing your own thing, like you're not relying on your parents anymore.

But I'm saying even if you're like, like even if I like fell hard for like a chick and I'm fucking 19 years old and my parents are like, you can't date her, and I'm like, you don't understand, like, that's true, I'm leaving the house and I'm gonna figure it fucking out.

Oh wow.

Okay.

Oh no, I guess 19, which is what you did, like you did leave the house.

I'm thinking more of like, like you just got to follow that gut and like, even if it takes you to like a bad place, I think you just got to follow it, especially when you're young. Like my least favorite thing.

I like what you're saying.

I've said this on the podcast before. Like my least favorite thing is like when people are like, you're too young, you're too young to make decisions. Or like, like when it was like high school and I was so worried about my career.

Yeah.

And I was like freshman, sophomore year of high school and all the teachers would be like, it's too soon to worry about that. Don't worry about that. And it's like, no, that's like, that's like when you fucking have all the energy. I guess like me specifically, because I went into a creative field, so my perspective's a little warped, but like, I'm so happy that like I was following my gut really early. And like when I was like, I'm going to move out to LA and be a Viner. Like it was the classic conversation with all my friends. Not like, not my hometown friends because they understood it because they were so close to me. But like, like everybody else was like, that's crazy. You're moving to LA. What are you, stupid? And like all I could think about was like, this is just like the movies. Like, I feel like Zac Efron in High School Musical. Like, they are so stupid. They really don't get what I'm going to go and do. Like, you got to follow your gut, especially when you're young, because like that's when you can make all the fucking mistakes in the world.

Exactly.

So like, I don't know.

Yeah.

If it costs you like—

What's a mistake you made like when you were like young and you came out here and you learned from?

Uh, when I came out here?

Yeah. Did you know how to do anything? Did you know how to do laundry? Did you know how to— like pay the rent? Did you know how to like cook soup? Could you do anything? Could you make food for yourself, or were you like completely lost?

Well, yeah, but like I don't consider— like I knew I didn't know those things, so I didn't go into like thinking like, oh, I can cook. Like I knew very much so, like I'm gonna be fucked doing all these things on my own. Yeah, so it wasn't like, oh shit, I don't know how to cook. It was like, yeah, this is gonna be fucked.

I remember trying to go into your bedroom once and you couldn't open the door.

It was just closed because it was so messy.

You remember that?

I remember when I first moved out here to like put furniture in his new home. Yeah, and he was like, do you guys mind like bringing my stuff from my apartment to my new house? And we're like, oh yeah, no problem, like thinking we were gonna pack up like a couple luggages. We get to the apartment, literally a foot deep of like shit. Checks that are uncashed, just like sitting deep. Yeah, like you could not see the floor.

Oh my God, checks that are uncashed, that was my favorite.

Yeah, like thousands of dollars in uncashed checks.

There were like, because I week that I was already making the vlogs, right?

You're just— yeah, you— yeah, yeah.

So like, that's the time where, where like, I— when I got into the vlogs, I got into the vlogs, and I wasn't looking at anything. Like, money was not like anything I was concerned about because I was able to afford my rent at that point. So I was like, I'm golden, I'm never looking at that shit again. So when the checks would come in, yeah, and they'd be like 20, 30 grand, they would be sitting under a pile of like Carl's Jr. and Taco Bell in my house. And I didn't clean my room because I also didn't sleep. I just like went into my room for a little bit and then left. And my room was disgusting. So yeah, I do remember that. But yeah, follow your gut.

Worked for you.

Yeah. Follow your gut. Eat your gut out.

Remember when we had to beg you to take the job, Natalie?

Yeah.

Elaborate on that. David was begging me?

I didn't have to beg her.

Yeah, you literally begged her.

To be my assistant?

Yeah.

Really? What did I say?

You like brought me over and you were like, you're like, you gotta convince Natalie. You gotta convince Natalie to do the job. She was like, well, you have to.

She really wanted to study plants. I think it's so ridiculous. But Natalie did jump on it pretty quick for like not understanding what was going on.

Yeah, I saw the vision early on. I'm a pioneer here.

My craft. That's incredible.

Hey, I trusted my gut too.

Yeah. But my gut was better.

Your gut is so big and so strong.

Yeah.

Your gut's bleeding currently. Your gut has issues, brother.

Something exciting happened to me this weekend.

What happened?

On my 2025 bucket list, one of the things is to go on a proper date. And somebody asked me on a proper date this weekend.

Whoa! She's kidding, Jay.

That's amazing. Did you go?

It's a joke.

It's this week. So stay tuned.

Actually, somebody asked you?

Yeah, Stephen, you were there.

Why do you look pissed off right now?

Fuck you, Jay. Shut up. Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean I was there?

You're going to lose Natalie.

Were you that drunk you don't even remember? You probably were, because then you were texting him after. You were like, come hang out with her now.

Shut the fuck up.

Him?

Yeah. Oh, no way.

That's what I was saying in the moment. That's why I said I didn't want him to come hang out, because he had just asked me on a date, and you were like, just come hang out with her right now. And I was like, no, let him take me on a date.

Yeah, we were going back home at like 2 AM, and I was like, Nelly, why don't you just ask him to come home with you? And I guess I was really drunk.

You were not getting the vibe. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. I totally misread it. And I was like, fuck it, I'm texting him.

David just texted him. He's a good friend of ours.

And yeah. What are you doing getting into her love life?

No, because he's a good friend of ours.

I don't care who he is.

No, because I was like—

I'm sure he's a great friend.

Stop. I thought she let it go. I didn't know she was setting something up. I thought she like ignored it and she didn't want anything to do with him. But I was like, no, this guy's fucking great. You need to invite him over. And everybody in the car with us, there's like 3 other people. Yeah, we're like, you gotta invite him. What are you doing? I had no idea that you planned a date. That makes sense.

Why didn't you say that in the car?

I did say that. He was obviously not fully with us.

Oh, I see.

Half of me was there.

Yeah.

Wow, that's really exciting.

On the way out, yeah, he was like, let me properly take you out, let's get drinks this week or something.

And I was like, oh, I love him.

Really?

Yeah, I love him. I think I, I, it's very rare. He's, he's, um, he's not from—

nope.

Yeah, he's not from anywhere.

He's not from anywhere. That's interesting.

That's interesting.

Oh, he's from the Midwest.

From a spaceship. Are you excited?

Yeah, I'm so excited.

I'm excited too. This is, this is actually a real date. This isn't bullshit.

I think. I don't know. I actually don't know.

Wait, wait, has he followed up with you?

No. Oh no, I'm just kidding.

Oh, okay. Of course.

Wait, what has he said? Can I read the text?

Oh no, I don't want you to read it because I don't like— I don't want you to judge what I say. No, please, that's exactly why I have to read it because I sound like a loser.

I just understand—

no, no, I panic in these situations.

But just understand that I'm grabbing your phone right now to judge you. I wish I wasn't on my period so you can come eat this. Okay, okay, I'm kidding. Here. Okay, wow. He goes, hey, uh, which is great, was great seeing you last night. He texted, it's at 6 PM. Pretty good. She goes, hi, last night was actually kind of fun for a rainy day.

I knew this.

And then he goes, I had a blast. Let's grab drinks next week.

Ooh.

And then Natalie goes, okay, I'm free Thursday? Goddamn, I didn't even know I crashed that early last night.

Who said that?

Natalie said that.

I didn't respond.

And then he goes, Thursday works for me. I don't blame you, LMAO. I've been trying to go to bed earlier too. I'll hit you with more deets soon. She said, KK, let me know, will be fun, winky face. Wow. So now let me send a voice message. No, no, get it, brother. Wow, this is really exciting.

Sounds like he's ready to settle down with that little comment about I need to start getting rest.

Natalie, this is it.

Okay, that's not true.

Nope.

I also don't want to like—

stop, stop.

You gotta marry him.

Why are you inserting yourself? You— this is your—

this is our relationship.

Um, no, you do it to everybody. Like that time when, uh, you said when Naveen and I were sitting there and Like, she goes having kids or what? Like, you have to stop inserting yourself so much. You're going to blow it for her.

I was— I'm not blowing it. I'm not— dude, look, I'm—

it has nothing to do with you.

I'm— I have— I have her phone in my hands right now, Jay.

I don't think it's about me anymore. I think it's just Jason's got something personal with you.

No, but I mean, like, he's mad when I—

he's mad that I asked if they're having kids. I know, I know. Right when I asked that, he goes, goddamn it, dude. And I go, what? Story in the pot.

And then it got— and then it got really awkward because no one said anything. And then David just turns and he goes, you're so awkward, dude. You're so awkward. And I'm like, I'm so awkward? You're the one that just made it awkward. Yeah, but, but why aren't you like joking around about it? Why aren't you joking around about it? Like, I don't have anything to say about it. You just fucking—

listen, I'm sorry.

It's awkward for everybody here.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, that was a pretty funny moment.

I'm also trying to like— I'm just saying, like, if the equivalent of this guy came in girl form, I'd be like, yeah, this is the one.

That is not true.

Someone from the Midwest. He's handsome. He's really likable. I mean, this is— Natalie, this is amazing.

Yeah, but you agree that like there has to be a spark between those two people, right?

Obviously. I'm more so saying like, don't fuck fuck this up.

I'm not gonna fuck it up.

How could she fuck it up? I don't know.

She's already sending weird emojis and shit here, so I just want to make sure that doesn't happen again.

What kind of emojis?

It's the, the eggplant one, which I don't even know what that means.

Oh my gosh.

I have a problem I could share. Maybe you could help me.

Yeah, of course.

Okay, so when we go to bed at night— when—

who's we?

Me and Naveen.

Okay.

Me and Todd. No, when Naveen and I go to bed at night, right? We spend the whole day together, we work together, blah blah blah, great time.

Yeah.

Amazing.

Because we're married.

Yeah. And we spend the whole day together. It's not like I, like, leave.

I believe you, Jay. Yeah, yeah. So then when we're married, by the way, Dave. It's real. Okay.

And then when we go to sleep, I don't really like to talk in bed.

Oh, fuck.

But then she somehow has, like, brand new ideas.

Oh, I'm on Naveen's side for this.

At 11 PM. Brand new ideas. Like, brand new. Things you would say at 10 AM, like, "I want to do this to the kitchen." You know what I mean? And I am just like— I'm partially bipolar.

Yeah, no, I know.

So at night, I just go down. Like, I power the fuck down. And then so it gets to the point where I can't really talk to people at night. Like, even this podcast.

Yeah, but so then what's the problem? So then I always say, like, I'll be like, all right, let's table it till the morning.

I'll be like, I'll be like, oh, that's good, that's good. Oh yeah, time to go sleep now. Like, I'll make a little hint.

It doesn't sound like there's a fix to that because like, I am 100%. I think Natalie's like that too.

Always on the girl's side, dude.

No, I'm not.

Never take my side. He would never take my side. I would.

Now, wouldn't I take his side?

I mean, yeah, but is it—

isn't that so me to call you? I call Natalie at night all the time. She ignores it all the time because that's when I get—

what time do you call her?

I mean, 1, 2. I get the most chatty.

You do?

Yeah. If I'm sending text messages in our little work group chat of all the 5 people that work here or whatever, they're coming in at 3:30 in the morning.

Really?

That's when I'm like, tomorrow when we wake up, let's redesign the bathroom. It's 100%. So I do see what you're saying.

Yeah.

But some people are just like night owls. I don't think there's a fix to that. Here, I'll take your side in this way that, yeah, I guess if you're not a night owl, just go to bed.

Yeah.

But also, like, what are you going to do?

I mean, I would assume you're communicating with her like, this isn't my time to be chatty Kathy, right?

I did today. So tonight I'm going to— I'm like getting ready for tonight.

You should get a hotel tonight.

Oh, yeah.

Just to be like, just to prove to her, like, enough is enough.

Yeah. Really put yourself out there.

Like I'm staying at the Marriott.

I still won't want to talk. It doesn't matter where I am.

No, no, no. She won't be able to reach you. And then when she tries calling you—

Oh, I thought you mean her and I get a hotel.

No, no, no. You get your own. And you're like, I'm staying here unless you learn how to shut up.

Sounds like a line in the sand. Yeah.

I mean, Jake, like, you gotta be— you gotta start sticking up for yourself. Is this what you wanted?

No, no, definitely not. That's like, I had a therapist once when I was married the first time, and he started taking your side. Yeah, like, I went and saw him for weeks and weeks and weeks, and I'm just complaining about my ex-wife, and then she comes in that day and he just fucking unloads on her.

Oh yeah, I remember this.

Yeah, it was awful. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. She's good.

You should bring Naveen in for the pod. Bring her in right now. Call her.

Should we call her?

No, no, no, don't call her.

It'd be better in person.

I'd rather have her in person.

Yeah, me too.

Do you have sex a lot?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you just saying that?

Yeah, a lot of sex.

No way.

I mean, I know you don't want to hear that, but yeah. I mean, look at her, Dave.

Okay.

I mean, she's, you know, totally—

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's kind of crazy.

Easy. I don't know what to say. Yeah, I mean, she's very— she lets me. I'm very attracted to her.

We're not like about her. We're like about— we're thinking about you.

Oh, me? Yeah, I know you guys don't see me in that light, but I get big hard-ons.

Oh, Jesus. Jesus Lord. Bleep that out.

No, I mean, I know you don't see me in that light, but yeah.

How often do you do it? Like a weekly basis? It was like once a week?

No, no, no, more than that.

Wow, because you're older.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Over 3?

Yep. Wow.

Yeah, it's really good.

Probably just that.

That's insane.

Yeah, it's good.

And always in the morning for you, I assume? Has to be midday before your oatmeal?

No, that's what gets me going.

It has raisins in it, doesn't it?

Yeah, it has raisins.

That's so nice.

Yeah, yeah. I'm excited about New York, so maybe I'll talk about that.

And what is it like?

You can come watch if you want.

Oh, Jay, really? No. Um, that's enough. That was fucking gross.

I mean, Naveen said to me, she goes, she goes, why don't you just tell Dave to get a private jet for all of us to New York? I was like, I don't— I'm not sure how much money you think David has.

Naveen said that?

Yeah, she's like, she's like, why doesn't David just get a private jet?

I was like, that's really funny.

It's really funny that people think that about you.

People don't understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I, and I'm probably guilty of perpetuating that fucking idea too, because I'll be like, David's rich, he doesn't need the podcast. But the truth is, you definitely are.

You'd—

yeah, go ahead, go ahead, you can let me have it.

No, I don't want to. I just— I think, um, I think a lot of people think I make a lot of money. Yes, when I make very good money.

Yeah, right.

Um, but it's not like— like, there's— there's like serious levels to this, right? Like, y'all, there's a Jake Paul, there's a Logan Paul, there's a Dave. Yeah, like it's completely different. All right guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Jason has a podcast, it's one of the littest. It's like a little side thing he does. What do you talk about on there?

Uh, just talk about how I bone the veen every night.

Oh wow, I'm tuning in. Um, it's 3-hour-long podcast. So then we go up to the bedroom.

It's a one-man podcast.

I just had my oatmeal, I'm completely full. Um, what's the podcast called?

Where can people find All good things.

All good things. Go check out Jason's channel. Thank you, Natalie, for joining us. One of the best managers you can possibly ask for. She's working hard. Thank you so much.

Amen. Amen.

Do people know that she's your manager?

I mean, yeah, it's in my bio. Sometimes I forget.

Okay, never mind.

All right, guys, we'll see you guys later. Bye.