Making $80,000 in 6 Days

What's up guys, welcome back to Views, the podcast where Jason and I walk around naked in a dark room and try to find each other.

Where are you? Oh, I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

Is that your head?

At least we found each other.

Why are we doing this again?

Well, because we have a podcast and every podcast begins with a really cheesy joke and then we follow it up by, um, by reading an ad. And today's ad— please. Yeah, here are the lights. That was my light sound.

That was good.

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Jason, what does DSC stand for?

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I'm impressed, I'm impressed.

Dude, sick curb. After I skate, when I go skateboarding with my son's friends, after I land.

Oh, you're saying what DSC stands for?

It can also stand for that.

Yeah?

Dude, sick curb.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, DSC, there he goes, Wyatt's dad, sick curb, bro.

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Yeah, I got these to the house, you know.

Really?

I didn't share these with you.

Yeah, this is the one I didn't get.

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Yeah, roll it. Roll the intro music.

Yeah, roll the intro music.

Good, good, good. This is going well so far, I think. How do you think it's going so far?

And here we are, we're back from the intro music. That's from Bruce, Bruce Wigner. He's a great guy who makes great music, but unfortunately really hates Jason.

Well, I spoke with Bruce this week.

What'd he say?

He talked to me, he came at me. Yeah, he just doesn't like me. He wasn't able to give any real reasons.

Why is it that he hates you?

I I don't know. It boiled down to something like, I don't like your stupid face, is what I got out of it. And that isn't the first time someone said that to me.

Definitely not.

My entire life has been, you know. But the people that do like me, they love me. My mom, my dad, my grandma.

Can I interrupt your stupid spiel?

You want to make out? Sorry, I'm getting too close to David. It's so good to be here. I love Wednesday nights.

Yeah. I think they're the most stressful nights. We get a lot of work done, and then Jason texts me at like 9 PM. He's like, dude, we forgot we have to do the podcast.

Oh, no, no, no, we didn't forget.

No, I know.

You know. Dave squeezed in a shoot too. Dave and I are on the same YouTube schedule. We post Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays. And on Tuesdays and Thursdays, we shoot. And so then Dave usually posts around anywhere from like 5 o'clock to 7 o'clock. And I do too. And then we have a couple hours off, and then we come to recently— clickbait mansion.

Recently, when we were shooting, yeah, you brought this up, and I wanted to ask you a question about it.

Tell me.

Like, nonchalantly, you brought up that you used to work at an insane asylum.

Yes, when I was in high school, that was about the only job I could get.

Let's, let's clarify for people at home. He used to work at one. He didn't attend one. It was his job to be there.

Yeah, just to be clear, for those of you that are a fan of David's YouTube videos, I'm not crazy, but I did work in an insane asylum.

Or that's what everyone made him believe while he stayed at the insane asylum.

Did I say work there? I lived there right before I started YouTube.

What is— how do you get to work in an insane asylum?

Well, it's pretty easy. I mean, there's not a lot of jobs in my town.

You're just the smartest one out of the bunch, so they're like, hey, come work in the cafeteria.

I was one of the smartest there, I'll tell you that much. Um, no, I, I just cut the lawn. I trimmed the hedges, I did the roses, I rode the tractors.

I played with the dominoes.

I had lunch with President Reagan. I opened for Jimi Hendrix. I did it all. It was the greatest job ever.

I started the One Direction.

I was the first person on the moon. But that's what the insane asylum was like. There were stories like that.

Give me an example. Give me something good. Not a lot of people work at an insane asylum.

Yeah, you know, I guess the funniest part about an insane asylum is that you'll be talking to someone and you don't know they're crazy, you know, and they're totally normal. And you're a kid, you're 16, so someone will come up to you and be like, "Hey, you know, you're not supposed to mow this field," you know, and you'll be like, "Oh, okay, I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I won't mow this field." He's like, "Yeah, you really gotta take the trimmer with it, you know, because you're gonna brown out the thing." And then the next thing you know, you'll see that guy in fucking handcuffs. You know what I mean? Like being beaten with a stick.

He goes, you can't mow this field, this is where the spaceship lands.

Exactly.

That's so interesting.

Yes, really, the spaceship?

And were the people in the insane asylum, were a lot of them murderers?

There was a section that were murderers. Wow. And then most of the people there were like nonviolent and they roamed freely and they would just do silly things. You know, like one guy, he would just walk in a circle for 4 or 5 hours a day singing The Doors. You don't know The Doors, but The Doors is like a big band from the '60s.

And he would just sing them for 4 to 5 hours?

He would sing The Doors. for four or five hours a day.

A specific song. Mitch.

His name is Mitch La Woman. And he would just be in the corner. He would walk in a circle and he would go look around about an hour ago. And then when he'd finish it, he'd start all over again. And yeah, it was a crazy place to work. I liked it though, at the time, because that was probably the summer where I was like, all right, I'm going to go into comedy, I think, because, you know, life's so funny.

And then the people that murdered people. And then staying in Silon.

But that was scary. I would have to go in and mow that lawn, and they would have to lock me in there.

What do you mean they'd have to lock you in? Oh, like you'd be in there with the inmates?

I'd be in there with the inmates, and then they would just—

Or not inmates, patients, right?

Yeah, the patients. And then they would taunt you the entire time. They'd be like, I'm gonna fuck your mother.

Are you serious?

Yeah, like, bring your mother. Oh, I swear to God. I'm gonna fuck your— And then I got used to it. I wore a Walkman. Back then we didn't have iPods.

Oh my God.

A Discman I probably had.

Wait, so—

I'm—

so these people would literally be in the same room as you, in the same garden as you, and they would be yelling things at you?

Yeah, yeah.

And then did you get fired? Did you quit? What happened?

It was just a summer job, so I was— I went back to school, and then I think I went to college.

And it was— and it's called an insane asylum?

It was called the Medfield State Hospital. Yeah, and it was like— it looked like a college campus that was really run down.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah, it was like a crazy—

was it scary looking?

Um, At night? Yeah, at night, yeah. It was pretty scary at night. And then we would, um, and, and then, you know, the funniest was, um, there was a guy— I think this was in your vlog this week, I don't know, but I'll tell the story here— a guy— I'll tell it quickly. My friends were playing, the other guys, they played us, um, they were in a band and they played for the patients one night. And this one guy, again, we didn't know he was crazy. You can't tell who's crazy and who's not. But he, he walked up to my friend's dad and he offered him some deodorant. Which we just thought was just so fun, so funny. Go watch David's vlog if you want to see it.

But, um, speaking of jobs—

yeah, speaking of jobs, what happened today?

Look how lightly I had to ask that because Jason's been in a bad mood the entire day.

I've not been in a bad mood. I've been in a sad mood. Not sad mood. That's what I mean to you.

No, you've been in a sad mood.

Yeah, well, we were just going—

let me say it because I like saying it because it's crazy. Okay, Jason 2 days ago.

You go, wait, wait, you go right before we came over, I took David to Chipotle and David just was like shooting and he's in a pretty good mood and he's like, what's up, man? Why are you so down? I was like, I lost $80,000 today. Do you remember?

Jason 2 days ago got a job for $80,000.

I got it on Friday.

He got it on Friday.

Yeah, it's been in the works.

And this morning he lost the job for $80,000.

And yesterday David and I had a huge argument, not argument, where David wanted me to tell him how much the job was for.

Yeah, we had this whole thing 'cause, Especially when Scott, Todd, or me, or Zane, or anybody gets a brand deal, we always tell each other the price. It's just like a normal thing we do because we're friends. And then Jason was doing this weird thing. He was like, I don't know if I should tell you. I'm like, what's going on? And I was really sketched out. And then I just needed to know because I'm such a stubborn person. I'm like, OK, Jason, how much is it? And then he finally ended up telling me. And then unfortunately, 16 hours later, it turns out he's not getting the job. And he calls me and he's like, I lost the job. And I go, well, Jason, maybe you shouldn't be bragging about it. Even when I begged him for him to tell me how much he got. It was a— well, this is fun because this is the first time we've actually put a price to one of our jobs.

Yeah.

We won't tell you the brand, but it was a couple of Instagram—

It was a lot of posts.

It was a lot of Instagram. People are going to be like, oh.

Multiple. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not complaining. Believe me, I wanted the job.

No, no, no, no. I know. I just think it's funny because it was, it was 6 Instagram posts, right?

Yeah.

And some, and YouTube shoutouts and like 6 YouTube shoutouts and like 6 tweets and 6 workdays.

And it was a lot. 6 workdays.

Could you imagine to some people that are listening right now?

I know.

Well, yeah, it's crazy anyway.

But I didn't get it. So don't feel like I'm high and above you because I lost it.

Well, no, no, no. This is a fun way of describing our job, right? Is, is Jason was scared to tell me that he got this job for 6 Instagram posts. First, let me break it down. For 6 Instagram posts, 6 tweets, and 6 YouTube shoutouts in like 6 workdays.

I don't know if there was tweets involved, but whatever.

I'm just adding things.

It's a bunch of stuff.

It's a bunch of stuff. He was gonna get paid $80,000, which then, you know, 15% goes to his manager and then yeah, but the taxes. But no one, no one thinks like that. Everyone, everyone's salary goes to taxes. It's just a thing.

Okay.

Okay. So So what happened with Jason is— I lost my train of thought.

Oh, sorry. What happened with me? Let's get back out.

Let's get back. Well, you said that thing about the salary and it really threw me off cuz I knew you were gonna say it.

You should just do the show without me.

And it'd probably be better. In my head I was like, Jason, don't bring up the taxes part because no one fucking thinks like that. And you brought it up and it threw me off. Okay. Anyway. Oh yeah. Okay. Jason was scared to tell me how much he was gonna make on this deal. Because this is the kind of world we live in, because he was scared that I was gonna judge him and tell him that he's not getting a good enough deal. And that just like, that just shows you how stupid and how handsomely we get paid. Where like, okay, you guys are gonna be listening at home, I mean most of you, and you guys are gonna hear 6 YouTube shoutouts, 6 tweets, and 6 Instagram stories, or 6 Instagram posts for $80 grand is a no-brainer. But like, if you, you know, if you tell that to us, —like if you tell it to me, I'd be like, oh, Jason, you're getting kind of undercut there. You should be making at least another $50,000. But how insane is that? It's insane.

Like that—

you— like—

it's not insane. It's what everything is worth. In any business, you're a doctor. Let's say you're a doctor. How much do you charge for the surgery? I'm going to charge $28,000.

It doesn't work that way.

Oh, yes it does.

No, it doesn't.

Yes, it does. It's all about reach.

I'll tell you why. What? Because, because yes, a doctor can charge a lot of money for his surgery or whatever. Right. But what's so special about social media and why it's so crazy that we get paid this much, because everyone does social media. No one practices to be a doctor. Everyone already does it. It's a job that we already do. Does that make sense?

No, you, not everyone has a lot of followers that reach a lot of people. I know, but you know. What about pharmaceuticals?

But you can go back to, you can.

You can charge, you can charge $1,200 for a drug that costs you $3 to make. I know, I know. I mean, it's business. That is business. I'm just saying what we do has a markup that is no different than when you fucking buy some cologne from Calvin Klein.

I'm not talking about the markup. It's a markup. I'm talking about how ridiculous it is how much we get paid.

Yeah, it's ridiculous, but it's also ridiculous that I spent $75 on a shirt that cost them $3.

No, no, no, no, but you're not understanding it.

Okay, I'll try, let me try.

Okay, a doctor gets paid $200,000 whatever a year for doing his thing. And that's a handsome pay, people like that, people strive to be a doctor. And no one's surprised surprised that they get paid that much. The reason people are surprised when a social media person gets paid so much is because everyone tweets, everyone Instagrams, everyone YouTubes. It's just a normal thing. Yeah. So when you, like, everyone in my school posts on Instagram daily. Everyone.

Uh-huh. People— I do some home surgeries. Listen. I've taken a tweeze, you know, a thorn out of my kid's thumb.

No, but like even people in my school—

I see your point.

People in my school, even some people post at specific times to get more likes. Sure. They do everything we do, They just don't get paid at all.

Let's just say though that you're more a doctor than your friend Reggie, who works at the Gap and has a Facebook account.

But this isn't— but you understand—

I understand your point, but why are we arguing? Like, we're arguing because you're undervaluing, um, our jobs.

I don't know.

I'm not saying what— I'm not saying we don't have it great. I'm just saying like Yeah, it's fucking— I lucked into this and it's great. And there's like— but listen, is there shitty parts about it? Yeah, there's really shitty parts about it.

Not nothing compared to a real job with real financial struggles. Honestly.

And I've had those jobs and I've worked for— I've had so many conversations to get to this place.

I've had so many conversations with social media people that are just like, dude, this is so taxing.

Oh, I know.

And I'm like, dude, just shut the fuck up.

Oh, I know. When people complain about having to tweet. No idea. I know. And I'm not complaining, I'm just complaining because I lost $80,000. I was ready, man. I was on that call yesterday, I had calls with them, we had a contract. It was like really, it was done, done, done. And the reason why I even told you was because we went to the barbershop yesterday in Compton and I was all set to get some kind of crazy haircut for the vlog. And we had some cool bit planned that I won't tell what the joke was because maybe we'll save it. But, and then I had to tell guys, I had to tell David, I was like, I came from the gym and I put it all together. I had just gotten off the call with them and I called my manager, David's manager, and I was like, hey, I probably shouldn't get like a crazy haircut down in Compton today. And he's like, dude, no, do not do that. Do not get crazy.

He didn't want him to cost the brand deal if he got a crazy haircut, which, which I understand.

So that's why I had to tell David. I wouldn't even told them, we wouldn't even be talking about this.

But, um, but yeah, so Jason lost an $80,000 brand deal. That was a couple tweets.

How much did you get for your last few brand deals?

What do you mean? I mean, I didn't lose any of them.

Yeah, if you show up on set tomorrow at this thing, I'm gonna be so mad.

I got the job. I'm like, yeah, Jason, because the, the job would shoot tomorrow, which is so insane that they turned him down because who are they going to get in a day? Like, that's such short notice. And I told Jason, I'm like, yo man, I can't shoot tomorrow, I got a job, uh, I gotta be on set for this company.

What the hell? I talked to them too after I talked to you.

You're like, gave me a call, they were like, we're Sorry, you, you hop off the call with them after they turn you down, you're like, please don't give the job to David.

No, but they, they, um, you know what I didn't understand was they were like, well, they found a piece of content objectionable. Oh, that's why, that's why Jason didn't get it, because they probably saw like something like something. It's very—

it's— I don't know if people understand this, but, um, Liza and I can have the exact same views and exact same subscribers, and she'll always be making 2, 3, 4 times more money than I am just because her content is so much cleaner than mine. It's just, it's just how the cookie crumbles. And it's like, that's what I give up to have my type of content. And I'm okay with it because I, I like the videos I shoot and she likes the video she shoots. It's, it's totally fine. But in this case, it didn't work out in Jason's favor because, because of the videos he shoots it cost him $80,000 for a couple tweets, which sucks.

Which is also— which is like totally ironic because I wouldn't have even been considered for the job unless I did.

I mean, it's a catch-22.

It's a catch-22.

Yeah, you wouldn't— you wouldn't have gotten the job.

But I don't understand why can— why can, uh, Kevin Hart talk about like tossing someone's salad and then go do an ad for Hulu or something, or some really big McDonald's, some of the cleanest, cleanest brand, and I can't. That's what confuses me. I almost asked the lady, can you explain that to me?

Well, why didn't you?

I said to her, I was like, I was like, look, I was like, my page is clean. Like, my ads are all monetized on YouTube. I cut all my swears on YouTube.

Did you cry?

I cried a little bit. Did you? No.

Did I cry? You're the type of guy, you're the type of guy to get the call that you're getting the $80,000 job and take your kids out to like a $10,000 dinner.

We went to sushi last night. Really? Yeah.

You were like happy? Oh no. But you are that type of guy. I'm learning.

You've actually— Daddy got a promotion. Oh, I did. I called my ex-wife and I told her all about it. Did you? Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh my God. I was like, I was talking to her. No, dude.

I know.

I know. Well, she was, she was like—

She probably almost got back together with you too.

She was like worried about money. So I was like, I was like, don't worry. I'll always take care of you. I was like playing like Mr. Big Shot. Oh shit. And then I saw her tonight and I was like, uh, it fell through. She, she almost— we had a good laugh actually. It was just so fucking perfect to our story too. It was like we were right back to where we started. She was like, ah well, what are you gonna do? I'm like, yeah, I know, what are you gonna do? Wow. But I was, I was all— I was like talking like such a big game over the weekend. I was like, oh, don't worry about it, plenty of money coming in, I got this $80,000 deal. No, it all crumbled. But I'm— but whatever, man. It's— and then we were going to Chipotle tonight, and David was in a pretty good mood because he, he just shot a puppy. And, um, I mean, filmed the puppy. Sorry, that came out so bad.

He just shot a puppy, was in a good mood.

Yeah, he got his hands on him.

He said this, he already said this.

Yeah, yeah, I already said it.

And then, yeah, I was just like, shut the fuck up, Jason. I just saw Jason, I'm like, Jason, why are you so down in the dumps? And he's like, Oh, damn it, you caught on. Yeah, I was just crying for like 7 hours.

No, I looked at you in the car and I go, I lost $80,000 this morning, David. And David goes, oh, you still down about that? Yeah, I'm still down about it. It's like, I don't know, talking about sending my kids to college. I was so sad. I was like, I'm putting all that money right in the bank. No one's touching that money. That is college money. That is— they are going to go to college on this deal.

It is really sad, but like at the same time, it's— I feel like it happens a lot. And like, I'll get a call every week that I'm getting some kind of deal.

Remember that huge deal? Someone wanted to put like all your vlogs.

Oh my God. Someone like, yeah, someone's going to offer me like—

it was in the millions.

Yeah, it was a couple million dollars. And I knew, I mean, you know, when a deal is going to fall through, I was excited about it. You even take these meetings and you're like, this isn't going to go through. Like, why am I taking these? I told Jason and Jason's like, whoa. But it fell through obviously. Um, but yeah, no, I, I— $80,000 is a lot of money, and it's very unfortunate to see Jason lose that. That's why we started a GoFundMe. Um, you guys can check that out. No, but that does lead me to a good point. We should— you guys should go buy merch. If you use the promo code VIEWS, you get 10% off.

Yeah, and if you're still going on—

yeah, it's going on forever for VIEWS people.

If you use the promo code VIEWS Get 10% off right now.

Yeah, man, I don't mess around. My podcast listeners are very loyal.

There's going to be View shirts soon too.

There's going to be View shirts.

Get them at the live show.

We're having our first live show. Did we say it's sold out?

It's sold out.

It's sold out, which is awesome. 490 tickets. Um, come watch the show. Don't— I'm kind of scared about the show because like I've, I've been to shows before and just like we can't sing, so I'm pretty sure it's gonna be— it's gonna literally gonna be us sitting in a chair and talking. I hope people understand that.

You can sing. I've heard you.

I know, but I can't do it in front of people yet.

What's going on? So no haircut before the show?

Why do you always bring that up?

I don't know, just— it's just— it's what I see all the time. Your hair looks fine. Thank you.

You don't have to get it cut.

How's that bee sting in your head? Bee sting?

Yeah, I got stung by a bunch of bees. I got stung by 5 bees and I was home.

They chased you down the street? Yeah.

So Liza was doing this thing. Liza was getting bees removed from her backyard, and for some reason I thought there was like there was like a cushion outside. Like, I was, I was standing right by the bees, and I thought if I hide behind the cushions, the bees wouldn't find me. I don't know what it was, because I, I don't know why I thought that, but obviously they're probably like some heat-seeking fucking psychopaths. And they all came out of the fence, and like 10 of them hopped right on me, all around, buzzing in my ear, in my eyes, like all around me. I sprint out of the backyard, down to the street, and then all the way down the street.

Mind you, the rest of us are all inside. Everyone's inside. David's the one the only one outside without a suit on and a camera.

I was trying to film, and then, and then I'm running down the street, and I, I get to an intersection where there's a bunch of cars stopped because I'm running in the middle of it. My pants are at my ankles. They're at my ankles, and I look like a fucking idiot, like, just swatting shit. Like, this is like—

why are your pants off?

Because my pants were falling, but like, I couldn't catch them. Yeah, because I was swatting the bees away.

So like, I literally—

I look like out of a comedy movie. I look Dumbass. I'm swatting the bees away.

If anyone recognized you—

and my pants are at my ankles. I got my MeUndies on. Shout out to MeUndies. Um, and it's just— oh my God, so, so— they went in the car with you, and then one came in the car, stung me right in the head. I got stung a couple times on my arm and my finger, but yeah, one stung me right in the head. It got me pretty— I don't know, it was just— it just wasn't— it wasn't a good time. I can't do it again. No more bees for the remainder of my time here.

And why do you like to go to parties that aren't good?

Oh yeah, we also went to a party. We went to a— there was like a party that was like 35 minutes away, and it said the poster for it said Summer Rager or like End of Summer Rager. So I could—

this was on Twitter?

This was on Twitter. In a group chat? No, there's a page on Twitter called Parties in LA. Okay. And it's just a bunch of parties that are tweeted that are in LA. Okay. And I convinced Jason, Todd, and Dom and Alex to go with me to this party. We pull up after a 30-minute drive. It's a huge house. We walk up the driveway, very long driveway, and there's like 15 guys sitting on the roof.

But meanwhile, David is talking, talking it up at the house. End of summer rager, end of summer rager, come on, let's go!

I will be honest, I knew it was gonna suck. You did? Yes. And we get there and it's just these 15 dudes sitting on a roof. No music, no food, no alcohol. Nothing, just 15.

It looks like El Chapo's house as we walk up.

Like, they had, they had like, like sunbathing chairs like on the roof, like, like sitting in like the most aggressive way. And we walk in and 2 minutes later we find out it's a completely empty house. There's not even a refrigerator. And these kids just found an empty house that was being sold and they took it over to throw a party that was a very mediocre party and no one showed up.

Yeah, it was all dudes.

It was all dudes, which—

and David almost made Alex Uber there.

Yeah, but like, I don't know, I really like shitty parties. Like, I told the boys this, I'm like, this is the best it could have gone, because like, I, I don't know what I would do at like a, at a fun party. Like, I don't, I don't— yeah, what is there?

I hate that I'm like you in that way. And I, I can have fun. We went out Friday night, or Saturday night, I went and got drunk. And I had a good time, but I had to get annihilated to enjoy myself. Like, you know when the boys go to the den and you're like, why are they there? Yeah. This is basically how it goes. The boys like to drink and have fun, and David usually just doesn't go drink with them. And I'm older dad guy, so I'm kind of already out of the situation, so I usually just hang with David. And I don't know what my point was. But anyways, I guess if you're not wasted, the point is if you're not wasted, it's hard to get the job.

I don't drink anymore, mainly because I'm in a relationship. And I just don't— I don't know. I don't feel the need to be crazy. I'm like, I have a girlfriend at home. What's the point of this? I got a good question. Have you ever cheated?

Scott and I, we went to a Pinkberry without you.

No, no, no. I mean, have you ever cheated on a test?

Chest for a while.

Have you ever cheated?

Jason, this is hard. Jesus Christ, you had coconut, I had pomegranate.

Have you ever cheated? I'm sorry, Jason, we wanted to call you. It's okay, I get it. You went to Pinkberry without me. Don't let it happen again.

I'm so sorry, I didn't want to hurt you, David.

Have you ever cheated in high school on a test?

Oh, in high school? Yeah, on a test? Yeah, yeah, me and my best friend, we cheated all the time.

How did, did, how did you get around high school?

I mean, I cheated off him.

Were you cheating all the time?

Yeah, I mean, well, no, I didn't cheat. I mean, I would look at the other people's paper.

Yeah, I've talked about cheating a lot. Yeah. And it's because it's always like my main, like my main thing in high school was I was like one of the kids that like, you know, top 5 cheaters, 100%. Like it was like, who's ahead of you? There's a couple, 4 douchebags. Yeah. No, but cheating was such a big part of my high school career. Yeah. On tests, sorry. Yeah. And like, I don't, I just find it so interesting because it was just like I felt like Bonnie and Clyde and I— it almost— I don't know. I want to justify it and I know cheating is bad, but I want to like— I want to justify me cheating in school because it was like I felt like all the work I was doing— okay, I wrote it. I read a quote from Bill Gates once and I've talked about this in other places before, I think on a video, but I read a quote from Bill Gates that was like, get— hire lazy people to do difficult jobs because they'll find easier ways to do it because they're lazy. And I always, I always thought that me cheating was kind of a weird representation of that because I didn't learn but I still figured out how to do it. Do you know what I mean? Uh-huh. And like, I always, I always justified with myself that like, if, if I know how to fill out this test—

no, I love having a pilot that, you know, figured out how to fucking get the job but doesn't know how to fly the plane. It's awesome.

No, I, I mean like the bullshit shit that like, you know, like I'm not I'm not talking about like cheating on my driver's ed test. Yeah, no, I know. Like in chemistry, mixing ions and some bullshit. Sure. My chemistry final, this is how my chemistry final went down. Chemistry, I didn't know at all.

Sat there all year, didn't learn a thing.

I can't explain to you how little I knew because you won't believe me. I believe you. But I didn't know anything.

Did you go to the class?

Yeah, I went to the class.

You were there every day.

Yes, but it was just, it was a different language and I didn't take, I mean, dude, I didn't know what was going on. Yeah. Final came around. I had an 86 in the class, which is incredible. Great. Incredible.

Yeah, in chemistry, which is difficult.

Chemistry is impossible. No, I had an 88, sorry, in class, which is incredible. The final comes around, our teacher says he has a surprise for us in the middle of the final. And middle of the final comes around, there's a written portion and a Scantron. So the written portion is impossible because you can't just look at the other paper because it's like, it's big equations because it's chemistry. You have to write out a bunch of strands of DNA and bullshit, you know what I mean? But the Scantron, which is just like the fill in the bubbles thing, is so easy to copy, 'cause you just copy the bubbles.

Do you have the right Scantron next to you?

So what I did was, midway through our test, when he said the surprise was happening, he got up and he left the class. And we all looked down, we're like, is this a surprise? And then we started passing around the Scantron. Like, one of the smartest kids passed it back, and we started passing it around. And he came back in like 5 minutes, we all had the answers.. And now I had this written portion that I still haven't filled out. So I took my Scantron, my multiple choice, which was already done, and my written portion. And I waited till the smartest girl in the class that sat far away from us went and turned in her test. She was like third or fourth that turned in her test. And she turned it up right at the teacher's desk, like right in front of his nose. Hey, is where she put the test. Right when she, right when she got up and she turned in the test, I went up. I put my Scantron down, I put my written portion down, and I went, oh shit, I didn't fill out the written portion. And I took back my written portion and I grabbed hers from underneath too. No. And I took hers back right in front of my teacher's nose and I took my Scantron back and then I passed it around to my 5 friends in the back and we all ended up getting 98% on the final, which is ridiculous on a chemistry test. Holy shit. 98%. Ridiculous. And I got an A in the class because of it. I got an A in chemistry.

And that didn't— you don't have any kind of moral obligation to that, or you don't feel bad in any way?

I don't feel bad because it was never— it was— I wasn't cheating any— like, I wasn't like— I wasn't knocking anybody out of a spot. Like, I wasn't like knocking out of some dude from getting his degree in chemistry, you know what I mean? Like, I wasn't taking up a spot. I wasn't cheating anyone but myself. Uh-huh. And that I felt totally okay with. Like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't cut corners like that if it was like a fair competition with someone. Sure. But it wasn't because it was just, it was just me and my grade, and I knew I didn't give a fuck about chemistry and I'm never gonna use it in my life.

Don't you think that the teacher knew?

Maybe, but I don't think—

why would the fucking teacher leave for 5 minutes?

Because he was a shitty teacher, and I think he gave us the opportunity to cheat. I think so too, but he didn't He didn't. I don't think he wasn't a shitty teacher. I was a shitty student. I'm sorry, I didn't pay attention. There was kids that were getting 98% in this class.

So describe that moment when you walked up and you saw Abigail Spencer's pet keeper, or whoever the fuck it was.

Like, it was like Ocean's Eleven, dude. It was like me robbing a casino.

What was he doing in that moment? She— he— he was, um, is he like playing fucking Angry Birds, or—

he was, um, he was— he smiled at me. He watched me turn my test in.

But before you took the— describe the moment when you— right before you go, oh, I forgot to do the written portion.

He looked at me. He was just sitting there with his arms crossed.

He looked right at you.

He looked right at me. I turned it down and smiled at him, and then took a quick look back at my test. I'm like, oh dude, I totally forgot to take— to do this. And he laughed. He giggled. And he's like— and I took her test back.

He was like, oh David, yeah, you silly goose.

It was exactly one of those.

There's an entire other test you haven't touched yet.

Did you miss this?

Yeah, and that's— and so her test is sitting on top of— you put your test on top of her test? Yeah. And then grab both tests? Yes. And then how do you pass it to everyone?

Oh, that's easy. That's just in the back. But that's just— isn't he fucking looking? Yeah, but it's, it's literally just when he's not looking. When someone goes up to ask a question, you just pass the test. It's so easy. That, that's the easiest part of cheating. But I always— there was always something about cheating in high school that was like It was every test I would go into, I would have the answers before. Like, I would have it on my phone because people would send it. People would send me the answers before I walked in the room. And I would always have the answers. I told you there was a situation. I told you this too. There was a—

How do they know what the questions are gonna be?

Because there are people that took the test before, a period before, right?

So, they would—

Fucking rampant cheating. And they took a picture of the test and they sent the answers to me.

And they're not doing a good job of keeping that shit under wraps.

There was one time, so you'd get, you'd get the questionnaire booklet and you get the Scantron, and the Scantron's the multiple choice where you just fill it out, right? The questions are on the, are on the, um, booklet. And I had the answers to the Scantron. I had a picture of the Scantron. I sent it to my friend and they always hand out the Scantron first. So the teacher handed out the Scantrons and my friend took it and he goes, can I start filling it out now? And everyone just looks at him like, what? What do you— what do you fucking mean? You can't fill it out.

Yeah, you don't have the questions.

You don't have the questions. Yeah, I look at him like, you idiot. But, but no, it was— he didn't have the— he didn't have the questions, but he had the answers. But thankfully I never got caught. The only time I got caught cheating was my last day of my last test I ever took in my life. Yeah, it was my final in in a psychology class. It's in college. In college.

What happened?

She just caught me with my phone. She's like, I'm taking away your test. And I was a Viner at the time, so I was on my phone a lot. And I'm like, listen, I'm, I'm, I, I, I don't— I'm not you. I'm not cheating. I'm just— I'm taking care of business right now. And she gave me back my phone and my test.

I don't know, back to you.

I don't know how I wiggled out of it, but I was cheating. I had my phone out.

How did you do on the score? Were you able to cheat after she caught you once again?

I actually wasn't. I was actually sending answers to my friend. You were?

Yeah, I was helping. Fine on the test.

I did fine on the test.

Yeah, your friend who's sitting somewhere else in the class?

Yes, I was sending him.

What was that like when you went to like stupid college for 2 weeks? Community college? Yeah, it was, it was embarrassing to go to community college a little bit, or is it like, it's, it's, or is it just like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life?

It's, there's, there's a bunch of different kids at community college. They're the kids that absolutely know that they're getting out of there, and they're like, fuck this shit. This is only just because it's cheaper, and I'm going to get my credits out of the way, and then I'm going to do what I love, and I'm going to go to Harvard. And then there's students that don't know what they're doing, and they're just there because they're like, I don't know. I just want to kind of play video games, which I get, because that was me. And then there's students who don't want to be doing anything. And like, who, like, who are just like blowing away the class.

What was the name of the community college that you went to?

College of Lake County.

And were you there for one semester? I was there for one semester, literally September to December. Yeah.

And then I told my friends, I'm like, were you living at home?

Yeah. Okay, so tell me.

I told my friends I was dropping out of college. I still remember it. I was in the car. You haven't met any of these friends. These are different friends I was in the car with. And I go, yeah, I don't think I'm going to college. And it was like the funny— it was like the typical like douchebag like kid. He goes, hey guys, like we were sitting in the back, it was just me and him, and he goes, hold on, hold on, hey guys, you're listening to this, David, say it again, say it again. And I'm like, I don't think I'm going to college.

And they're like, what the fuck?

What do you mean you're not going to college?

What are you going to do, just play fucking—

what are you going to twiddle your thumbs all day? What are you going to do, you stupid idiot? And like At the time, like, me not going to college, it was just like, so like, it was like, yeah, fuck yeah, like, I'm not going to college. And like, I had $2,000, like $1,700 in my bank account and I was moving out to LA and not a single like part of me thought it was risky. It was just like the thing to do. I'm like, yeah, this is, yeah, it's happened. Like, I didn't think it was. Now looking back at it, moving to LA with $1,700 and not making any money on Vine is very stupid and very risky to do. Right. But, but But it worked out. And like at the time it wasn't scary at all. It wasn't a risk. It was just like, this is what, this is what's next. Like I gotta, I gotta move to LA. I'm not going to college. Yeah. It's pretty fucking cool. And my parents gave me an ultimatum. They're like, you're either going to college or you gotta move out. I'm like, guess what? I'm moving to Hollywood. And they just let, no, I said I'm moving.

How many followers did you have on Vine at that time?

When I moved? Like 800,000.

Yeah. So you're doing good. Yeah.

You were famous enough that everyone knew you were there.

Do you know what I told my parents? What? So I told my parents when I first decided I was going to move out, I told my mom like, "Mom, I'm moving to Los Angeles." And I was with my mom and dad and they just laughed. And they're like, "Where are you going to move? Hollywood?" And I'm like, "Yeah, literally, actually exactly on Hollywood Boulevard." And like then I was trying to justify what I'm going to do. And they're like, "What are you going to do out there?" I'm gonna— I've never told this to the person I'm about to say, but I went, I'm gonna make Vines with Josh Peck. That's what I said.

Is that what you said? Yeah.

I'm like, I'm gonna make Vines with Josh Peck.

And did you ever tell Josh that? No. Oh, that's funny. Never.

You should tell him. And yeah, and then I met Drake Bell before Josh Peck, and then I ended up making— and then now I end up making videos with Josh Peck every day, which is ridiculous. Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tuesdays and Thursdays and a little bit of Sundays. Yeah, so it came perfect full circle.

And so that was— okay. And so then tell me about when you were doing September to December, that September to December. Like, how many classes were you taking? 5?

Like 5, yeah.

So you had a full course load? Yeah, yeah.

No, it was like a full— I was like a full-time student.

And you lived at home? Yeah. And what was that like?

I mean, it was— did you have a job? No, I quit my job.

I told my parents— was that at the old folks home?

I have this like really weird douchey thing I do, um, this one douchey thing I do. Oh, you? I do this. I did this thing when I quit my, when I quit my job at the old folks home. I told my parents, I'm like, I'm always gonna be good. Like always. Like I told them, this is a word for word. I've told you this.

Yeah, you've told me this.

I told them like, I can sit on, I could sit on my ass for the rest of my life and I will always make money. Right. And it's just like, and it's weird to say, but like I always thought that way because I know it's It's so cheesy because it's just a cheesy thing to say, but literally in America, most people, I don't wanna say all people, but most people are given every opportunity they have to make a lot of money and to do whatever they want. It's crazy how many people have the chance to be a billionaire. And it was just like, I just had such an ego in high school. Right. I had an ego in high school.

You know what, David, shit worked out for you with YouTube. Granted, you know, and it's not that easy. Do you know what I mean? Like, you were born in a time where— It's not easy. You were born in a time— like, if you were born earlier, it— but it's just— this might not have fucking worked out so great. Yeah.

What I mean?

No, but I'm not taking anything away from you. Like, you definitely— you're You're a fucking impressive young man and you're really funny. And no, no, 100%, you, you came up with a way to make vlogs that no one else was doing, which is really impressive. But like, it's, it's not that easy to fucking be a billionaire. I don't know, fucking hard.

I, uh, my friend Ilya, who has the same mindset as me, dropped out of college and now runs a couple businesses.

He does a plumbing business or what else?

Plus he's a venture capitalist, so he has, he has He's remodeling certain homes to resell, and he's— I don't know what other company he's running, but he's like, he's running— he's plumbing. Yeah, well, that's one of them. He has 3, and it's just, he's, he's my age, he's 20 years old, and he's got 3 companies under the belt. And it's just, there's no excuses. It's just, it's the, the hardest part about like finding a career path is like you got to get lucky first because you can't just— I hate when people I hate when you pull up to people in Lamborghinis. This is when I first moved to LA. I would always go up to people in Lamborghinis. I'd be like, what do you do for a living? 9 times out of 10, they go, work hard. That's what they say. They always fucking say that.

Have you had that experience exactly? Dude, little— You pull up to Lamborghinis and you say that? 9 times.

And they say work hard? I'm like, what do you do? They're like, I work hard. And it's just like, it's cool because everyone works hard.

I love, first of all, that you drive up to Lamborghinis and ask that question.

Oh, I mean, dude, it's fucking great. I don't know. I've always thought about that kind of stuff. And it's cool, but at the same time, to work hard where somewhere— I feel like you need a little bit of luck to get you kickstarted. Sure. Because I had a little bit of luck, and it was the whole Vine thing, and it was falling. Now I'm in a place where if I work hard, I can do anything. Sure. But you can't just start working hard. I don't want people to be listening to this and be like, OK, cool. Yeah, I'm just going to sit back and wait for my luck. It's not like that. I mean, I think it just comes with the working hard. I think the opportunity comes, and when it's there, you just gotta grab it. Hey, are we going to war? Oh, the World War III thing with North Korea? Yes. I was looking up on that yesterday. Me too. And if we get nuked, we have to stay indoors for like 24 hours. I don't know what I'm gonna do, 'cause I gotta get a vlog up. That's it? That's it.

What a great vlog you'd have. You're pretty much indoors anyway.

It wouldn't be a good vlog.

I bet it would. It wouldn't be. I bet it fucking would.

If we got nuked, we'd die.

I bet if there was World War III, you'd have a good vlog.

Holy shit, no one would watch it. Yeah, they would. Views would be down.

Well, he's threatening to explode missiles on Guam. I saw that. Yeah. Or test them.

What do we do about North Korea?

Um, hope nothing happens.

Why don't we have Kim Jong-un on the podcast and we figure it out?

We tried, we tried to get him.

I know his agents are tough, dog.

You know what, she's— I don't— she's just like one of these people that you just can't talk to, you know what I mean? Because we try— I told her, I was like, his agent Martha, come in. Yeah, Martha, have him come in. You know, the first time will be softballs, you know, we're not gonna get like too insane. Yeah.

You know, talk about his favorite sports.

And he wants to come in.

I've been talking with him. Kim Jong-un is actually a big fan of yous.

Yeah, specifically my vlog.

Yeah, he likes— he actually, when he listens to this podcast, his government is obviously so high-tech that they mute everything I say and they just listen to Jason's audio.

They think it's just me. And so I've become sort of a big celebrity over there because he pipes just my audio. The government—

it plays— Views plays through the country, actually. Yes.

What's the national anthem? Bruce Wigner's song is the national anthem now. Yeah, and David is an illegal immigrant, that's why.

And their dress code is me undies, and every morning it's Dollar Shave Club. And this is all thanks to Views, and it's from your support, guys. You guys were helping— we're helping aid a country. And no, but all jokes aside, Kim Jong-un terrifying. Don't want to get into it because he does listen to this podcast. Um, he's probably— there's, you know, there's some kids that believe that, right? There's some kids like going to their parents, I know a person that knows Kim Jong-un. All right, well, that's all the time we have for today. Thank you for listening to Views.

Yeah, we'll see you at the live show on Sunday at the Improv in Irvine.

Jason sounds like he just got shot.

I was shot up today, David, by the $80,000 I no longer have.

Jason, just keep in mind, guys, today's podcast was a little bit sad because Jason went through a rough patch earlier.

Yeah, but don't worry, I'm going to be fine. I have David, best friend in the world.

On the screen now, you will see a GoFundMe link pop up. Please click it right away. And Jason—

he's kidding.

There's no screen. It's audio.

But I know there'll be people tweeting me like, where to find the GoFundMe?

All right, well, I'm kidding. Well, I'll see you guys later. Thanks for listening to Views. Bye, guys.