Jason Walks Out on David

What's up guys, welcome back to Views.

Wait, sorry, I just laughed like right over you.

It's fine, maybe I said a joke before, the audience will never know.

My bad.

Damn, he's even funny off camera. Have we talked about how loud Natalie's pee is?

We did.

Are you fucking serious?

I'm kidding.

We had a big section.

That was the last episode, right? Yeah. But do you think people need a part 2?

Definitely. Did you have another experience?

No, I just keep reminiscing. I have PTSD from the first time.

So I'm gonna try.

You have dreams at night? You have bad dreams now?

I actually don't have dreams 'cause I can't fall asleep 'cause I just hear, I just hear it shattering through the atmosphere. You know, have you seen Endgame? Yeah. Do you know what?

I can't wait for this to end.

Do you know when they're all fighting and they're kind of losing and then all the machines and all the guns start pointing to the sky and then one of the characters goes, there's something entering Earth's atmosphere. That's Natalie's pee. Oh my God, David. Just crackling through the sky. Okay, I'm sorry. That's it.

That's crazy.

For the listeners, Natalie was in South Africa and she had a loud stream.

And for the listeners, if you're like, wait, I feel like I just heard this on podcast 2 days ago. Yes, it was there extensively covered.

Like, I think we got it.

Yeah. But I also want, I just, I, there have to be recurring segments and if we're gonna, and if we're gonna have one branded as anything, it should be Natalie's Pee.

Yeah. That, that feels right for the first one.

For sure. I was on TikTok. There's this channel that posts The 2000 best songs of all time. Oh, and I spent like 2 hours on it.

I love that.

And basically it shows you the music video and above it the text is, we're listing the 2000 best songs of all time. And then all caps, it says, not in order. So it'll be like Bon Jovi, Living on a Prayer, song 1880.

Yeah.

Okay. And then every time you hit one of the comments, there's a comment that says, this should be higher. And then someone gets really angry and responds and says, it's not in order. And then the person under it responds, don't fall for this. He comments this on every video. So it's just one guy. It's the best little niche joke I've seen on TikTok. It's one guy just pissing off the comment section on this really small TikTok channel and trying to get people— it's called rage bait. Have you heard of rage bait? Yeah. It's like saying shit to just piss people off. And it's every video. This guy's like, I love the song. It should be higher. But speaking of TikTok, have you heard, Jay, of this 100 men versus 1 gorilla thing that's been going around?

No, I haven't seen it.

Oh, what?

Me too. Do you have—

you heard of it? No, I've seen like 100 guys with 1 girl, like those videos. That's different.

That's completely different.

Wait, wait, what?

No, that's— I think that's what you're talking about. No, both same outcome.

Don't, don't, don't say what we watched last night.

Wait, yeah, wait, let's talk about the 100. I don't want to get the girl wrong, because if you get the girl wrong and she's not into Are you talking about the gorilla or the girls? I'm talking about the girl.

Yeah, I don't know who it is.

I think it's Lily Phillips.

I keep seeing her.

Oh, Bonnie Blue?

Bonnie Blue. Yeah, she slept with what, 1,000 guys at once?

Yeah, they were all lined up.

They all line up and they all—

And then some people weren't wearing masks so you could like see their face and like their wives got angry. They lost their jobs.

Crazy.

Who's that married guy goes to a gangbang?

Wait, Jay, you haven't seen this?

I saw you on there.

Most guys are in masks. Like they're robbing the place.

Yeah.

And yeah, I mean, people have a lot to say about it. Some people are like, yeah, I mean, freedom. And other people are like, I wear my eye mask.

Some are like, God bless America.

I don't know.

Is that the record?

1,000? I don't even think it's a record. I think she— from what I see, I'm like a very— I haven't seen a lot of it, but she seems like she enjoys doing it. Like she's done it once.

She looks like she's having so much fun.

Oh yeah, she loves it.

J's like, okay, calm down, baby.

Like, so fun.

Can't be that fun.

That'll rear its head one day.

Um, but what I'm talking about is there's a thing, there's a trend, and it's causing a big argument. It's kind of like the what color is this dress trend.

Yeah.

And it's 100 men versus 1 gorilla. Okay, I'm going to go around the room right now and you tell me who you think would win in a fight, all-out brawl. 100 men or 1 gorilla? Just go real quick. Natalie?

Gorilla.

Jason?

100 men.

Naveen?

100 men. Um, I think a gorilla is crazy strong, but 100 men I think equals one gorilla.

I just don't think 100 men could communicate with each other well enough to actually be able to do that.

Oh, don't make this like a sexist thing.

That's true, that's true.

She's like, but if there was 50 women and 2 men, we would own that shit.

The women would be able to organize a coup.

It's a coup. No, we'd be led by Sammy Cooper.

Sammy Pepper.

Sammy Pepper.

Sammy Pepper's her best friend. Just me and Sammy organizing the event. We'd have wristbands and recognize people by height and weight and be able to take that gorilla down. And then some of us would fuck the gorilla.

Shut up.

Poopy's gonna sponsor.

Um, uh, I don't know. I think that's a really tough call. I think one determined gorilla— yeah, it's fucking over.

Yeah.

And gorillas biting shit. What's so funny about this is like, you'll see like there's a bunch of memes that are coming out of it.

Yeah.

And like, it'll be like It'll just be like a guy shaking in his boots and it'll be like me agreeing to be guy 97 as the gorilla's on the 86 guy tearing his head clean off. I don't know. I just think there's—

What about 100 kindergartners? Could you do that? You versus 100 kindergartners?

Yeah, for sure.

Really?

You think so?

Because in any of these situations, it's not 100 men versus one gorilla. It's 6 or 7. Yeah. Yeah. Because only like X amount of people can be around the gorilla at one time. And I assume the gorilla is pretty unpredictable, right?

And like, his— just sorry, his skin is so thick. Like, a human is so fragile.

Yeah, I feel like who's going to throw a punch to like make a gorilla bleed? I mean, it genuinely will be. And the gorilla, I feel like, can just like enter like this weird like helicopter motion where he's like—

That's what I was thinking. Yeah, he's just going to whip around.

He's just going to whip around. Like, you don't know what part, if it's his fist or his foot that's hitting you. All of it. So that's what I— if you have another— do you have an argument for the 100 men?

Yeah, I think 100 men could surround the gorilla and pin him down?

I don't know, man. Bonnie and Luke came out unscathed after 100 men.

She had 1,000.

If Bonnie Blue can take down 1,000 men, this gorilla can do numbers. I don't know. I think, I think it's, I think it's a very tough argument. And I think—

what about Natalie versus 100 kindergartners?

Uh, no, Natalie's pretty fucking weak.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, I don't think so.

You look like you're secretly strong.

She's athletic.

No, she got mad at me the other day. We got into a fight. We got into a fight. Oh, oh, it was in the middle of night, and we got into a fight, just like our typical fights about like Natalie taking vacations, not working. And then there was one line— I don't know if this is the one that set her over, but she was— she was really mad, and she was walking. And like, when she gets really mad, obviously I go— I start going harder. And I had the audience of John, Julia, and Alex there, so I was like fired up on like— he was really hamming it up, just going at it. And like, walking out the door, she's already— we just had movie night, we finished watching The Studio on Apple TV.

They're having a really pleasant evening, actually.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's walking out, and I'm like Make sure to take a flashlight for when you go up on your walk. Because when she gets mad, she goes for a walk up the hill. But it was the middle of the night.

I've never gone for a walk up the hill. You just say that.

Yeah. So maybe I say that. Whatever. So I was like, make sure you grab your flashlight for when you go on this walk. And she turns around. And this is the day I dislocated my knee. And she comes around and she grabs my fucking knee. She grabs the wrong one.

Oh, did I grab the wrong one?

Oh my God, you fucking bitch. You meant to go for the fucking— I thought for a second that I'm like, okay, at least she's going— for the knee that isn't dislocated. But I guess she didn't know.

I don't know.

She was trying to attack the one that was hurt.

I was definitely trying to attack her fingernails into my knee.

Like serious physical pain because I was winning the mental battle. Like I was, I had it under wraps and yeah. So then she left and then she went home. Then obviously I debriefed with Julia, John, and Alex and they were like, Dave, you were wrong in this situation. You took it too far. And then I was like, yeah, but let me tell you like the context of everything I was saying.

Let me tell you how good these jabs were.

Yeah. And I told them how good the jabs were. And then I was like, so I was telling her to grab a flashlight because her happy place is up the hill. When she gets angry, she goes for a walk. Yeah. And Julia goes, oh shit, you took away her one safe place. That's why she got so angry. Um, so yeah, we have fights like that where Naveen has to go for a walk. Yeah.

No, I was like, I was like, I was actively sick, but Jason like wouldn't acknowledge it. He's like, no, no, you're fine. And it was like the middle of the night and I was like, I feel really sick, and he goes, you want to go outside and just like take a walk around the block?

And I was like, no, I, I meant I'd go with you.

You, you didn't say that.

Has there been a moment where you've grabbed a suitcase?

Yeah, I grab a suitcase a lot.

Wait, what? To go where? To go to friend's house or to like leave the country?

Uh, just like revisit my choices. I'm like, I could be on a yacht somewhere.

I know, I know, I know. And that, that's—

but then it never— it's usually like a threat, but it doesn't work with him because he'll just be like, I can drive you. Like, where do you want to go? Do you want me to get Yacht in Mallorca.

See that, Dave? I play the mental game.

Damn, that's crazy.

I go, I go, all right, where do you want to go?

Jay, she's got a real threat over you. 100%. Like, she's right. She can go, I can be on a billionaire's yacht tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow. And you can be like, I can be in Toluca Lake at my ex-wife's. And Naveen will be like, we both know you don't want to be there.

That's not an option.

Yeah, I think that—

what do you threaten her with? Like, oh, Naveen, well, guess what?

I don't— I don't—

I guess there's really nothing.

There's nothing There's nothing I can do. I'm like, 'cause I do feel bad genuinely, like wholeheartedly, that I put her with me. You know what I mean?

Like, no, no, you have redeeming qualities, but I'm just saying, like, totally understand why she's with you in happiness.

You say that again?

I totally understand why she's with you when things are going great. Yeah, but like, she has something over you with the billionaires on the boat. It's unfortunate that you don't have anything to combat that. You are the 100 men in the situation and she's the gorilla. You don't stand a chance.

I'm the 1,000th guy going to Bonnie Blue after she leaves.

That'll be your threat. Now your threat is, hey, I heard Bonnie Blue's coming to Sherman Oaks. I'm lining up, and I'm not gonna wear a ski mask so you can be publicly shamed for being with a man like me.

Um, yeah, yeah, I feel bad. I mean, I just, you know, I know she could be somewhere else. She was traveling the world. She had the best life.

But maybe that's why she landed on you, because she was just like— like, you know, when we did our Seven Wonders? Yeah, I thought to myself, I want to live the next couple months in the most boring way possible. And that's kind of when Naveen's coming from, dating all these, all these hot guys. She's going, what, how, where, what can I do to just disappoint myself day to day?

You needed a palate cleanser.

A palate cleanser.

Let's go somewhere. Let's travel. Let's do it.

No, I don't think— I don't— that's not what I'm saying, guys.

That's what I'm saying, and you're coming.

Jay, you're so sporadic. I feel like you just say things like that. Do you know what I mean? He just like said he doesn't actually mean it because then when it comes down to like breaking down the travel and then the expenses and then like the Uber and like not being able to answer Charlie and like, will I have cellular there? Like when he starts weighing all the stresses that come with traveling, he's for sure out.

I did good on our travel, our boat trip.

Yeah, yeah. But so we went on this like wonderful trip and then towards the end of the trip, you went on a cruise. Yeah.

How long was the cruise for?

10 days.

10 days. A little too long.

But it was, it was fun because every day you wake up and you're in like a new city. And then you can explore the city all day, and then you get back on the boat.

And they were good cities.

And so what happens if you're like a single person on this cruise? Uh-huh. You land in the city and you meet like a beautiful girl. Could she come on the cruise with you?

No.

No.

Can you leave the cruise?

You could leave technically the cruise at any time, but you couldn't get back on.

You couldn't get back on in another city?

Maybe.

You can't be like, I've left it in Madrid or in Barcelona, but now I have to go catch it in—

You could be like, contact the cruise and be like, hey, I missed the boat, I'm gonna catch you guys in—

Okay, well, does that happen frequently where somebody's like, I have to stay.

People, people miss the boat because people will drink in the city and then just miss like getting back.

If you're not back by 7, you're done.

Like, the boat leaves.

Were there moments where you guys were standing on the dock of the boat and you were watch— or, or you were standing on the boat and you were watching people on the— have you seen those videos?

No.

Oh, we're just kind of like, bye.

Yeah, like the boat's leaving. A lot of people do it to just like fuck with people on the boat, and they'll pretend they missed it, and they'll— oh my God, they'll be running on the dock, and as the boat's going away, they'll They'll fall on their knees and they'll be like, no, please. You've never— you never saw that happen?

I didn't see that.

Oh, okay.

No, no, I think that's like a thing, like a movie thing.

Yes, but people do it just to fuck with the people on the boat. Okay, so sorry, what happened? So every day is a new place?

Yeah.

And like, that's fucking insane.

It's so fun because you literally wake up and you're like, okay, where are we? And it's like really fun.

But I'm sorry, sorry, I keep cutting you off. Yeah, no, but because I'm just— I've never been on a cruise. What time do you wake up? What time does the boat dock?

Like 6 AM the boat would dock.

6 AM the boat dock. So travels through the night.

Yeah.

Why don't more people do cruises?

I don't— it was my first cruise, and I've only heard like bad things about cruises, but it was like— it's a— if you're with a good group, it doesn't matter because you don't really care about the other people on there.

Okay.

Yeah, we said it would have been way more fun if we brought more people. Like if we brought like Joe and Caitlin, right? You and Natalie. Like, that would have been—

you just needed more people.

I feel like a group of like 6, a group of 6 would be amazing.

Or like something like— yeah, to fill up one car.

And you can work out. The gym is really nice.

It's like so nice.

Yeah.

Is the pool weird? Like, using the— is it gross?

We didn't really go in the pool that much.

We didn't really use the pool because like when you dock, you kind of want to go to the beaches or wherever you like landed at.

Okay. And then when does the boat leave?

At night, like 7.

You got to be back.

Oh wow. Okay, so you have a full like 12 hours to experience things.

Yeah, we did wine tasting. We went to Cannes. Was amazing. Oh yeah, is that where you go?

Yeah.

Yeah, Canada's nice.

CanCon.

CanCon.

It was so fun.

It was beautiful.

Yeah, yeah, that's about— oh, so this is— wait, what are the places that it hit?

It was Italy, Greece, France.

Oh, shut the fuck up.

Yeah, we ended in Barcelona.

We ended in Barcelona.

Oh, this is incredible. Okay, and then at the end of the trip, you were saying—

at the end of the trip, basically a few people that were there were like talking about like how we should do it again because I saw one of my friends randomly on that trip and she was doing the same trip opposite, like she was staying on the boat for another 10 days. And Jason was like— I was like Oh, that's kind of fun. And he's like, this was fun, but it's time to go home.

Oh, Jason was just like, I'm ready to go home.

I could have been there for like a month. I could have went, did that trip over and over again. And it's like, but you do have kids, so it's like different.

Yeah, that's how I feel about traveling. Like when I'm not—

Kids.

No, not kids, but I'm like hot and cold on it.

What do you spend when you go on your trips?

How much do I spend?

Yeah.

It's a lot. That's where I splurge the most.

The hotel's pretty fancy.

It's my flight that's a bitch.

Oh, because it's first class.

My flight, it's business.

It's business.

So business gets you laid down. This is really interesting. We never talked about expenses. So I don't spend money anywhere else other than things that make me money. And travel, I guess, in a way makes me money.

Yeah.

And 80% of the time we travel, it's for work. It's very rare that we're actually covering our own expense. But like, we're planning a trip to go to, I think, Spain, and that's going to cost— a flight is $10,000, $10,000 to $13,000 for round trip. And then hotel. Yeah, it's crazy.

You go business too?

Fuck no. I mean, economy.

Really?

Yeah.

See that, honey?

See?

If I had to pay for myself. Yeah.

Naveen refuses to fly economy.

So I just started since Jason and I have been together because to me—

Oh my God, you just started with Jason?

Yeah.

That's so funny.

Oh, but getting her back to economy, Dave, that was tough.

I was like, I hate to sound like this. Yeah, go, go.

The kids.

Naveen had to take the kids to meet me somewhere because I was working.

I had to meet Jason in Boston, but I was taking the kids with me and he had gotten them economy seats, so I upgraded.

So there's a moment where they got on the plane and they were fighting about—

like, buy kids seats.

No, they were fighting about— Charlie and Wyatt were both fighting about who had to sit in the middle. And then I was like, well, why don't you take an aisle, you take the window? And they're like, you really don't care about sitting in the middle? And I was like, here's the thing, kiddos, I can't do middle. I was like, when you have your own money, you guys too can upgrade.

Yeah, I will agree that like the one thing that I'm pretentious about is travel. Like everything else I'm very, very down to earth about, but like I'm such a fucking asshole about like, I need my hotel room. This is going to sound so bitchy, but to have the correct square footage.

Oh, correct square footage.

Water fresh. Dave, I'm very feng shui about hotels.

Are you feng shui?

Well, I go to— if I, if I get to hotel room, yeah, I ask the front desk to see multiple options for a tour, and I'll get a tour of different rooms, of every suite, and then I'll pick the room.

Oh, that's fun though. It's actually kind of fun.

It's a blast.

Can I see this one? And they do it? Yes, they love it, cuz, cuz, cuz they're just fucking sitting at the desk like, yeah, I would never think to do that, to go check out each hotel room.

Yes, there was a room that was going to be an upgrade for an extra $8,000 a night. Yeah, I'm not fucking getting getting a $14,000 or whatever, whatever that was. Like, not $14,000, sorry, like a $10,000 a night room. But like, I got to see it and it's kind of cool.

The ones I'm jealous of are the Vegas suites. Those are the ones I get jealous.

The Vegas suites are, are good.

Those, they look good on camera and you're like, what else is there?

I always, I always justify getting the bigger suites because like, because there's a lot of people in Vegas, so you can actually use the suite. Yeah. And like, we're always traveling a group of people and we're always meeting in my room. Like, in Vegas, when we just got the suite, that was like the extra $4,000 a night or whatever, we were always in the room. Like, all the 12 boys were watching golf for like 6 hours a day in the suite.

So fun.

So like, I always justify that.

But yeah, so fun.

So yeah, flights are tough. And this Spain trip, like, my roommates don't make a lot of money, so I'm covering— Ilya and I have decided to cover our 2 roommates' flights. I pay for 70% of their things and Ilya pays for 30% of their things.

Wow, that's nice.

So it'll be pretty nice. But their flights are $1,300 apiece, so it's nice. And then they'll probably end up sharing a room, so their hotel will be like $1,000 a night. But my hotel hotel room will be— I don't like to spend more than like $2,500 a night is where I draw the line. Right.

The one thing about first class that is good is you're, you're fresh when you get there.

When you get there, you're more fine.

A lot of people don't get that. They hear first class, they're like, oh, you're being bougie. It's like, no, no, no, no, no.

International, my back will hurt.

Yeah.

I will say, like, this is like the bougiest— like, when I first flew first class, yeah, I remember because I think I was flying from like LA to Chicago and I couldn't afford first class, but a brand— the brand started paying for first class before I ever could touch do it on my own. Yeah, but like, I remember the first time I flew it, I was like, it's game over. Like, it's actually really nice. I recommend that everyone goes a little out of their budget to buy it because nothing motivated me more to work harder than my first first-class experience. Yeah, I was like, fuck this, this is the only way I'm flying. I cannot fucking believe this is a thing. And then when you fly private, it's a whole nother thing.

I remember when you— there was one incident we were flying somewhere and they booked you economy and you were, you living. You were— it must have been right in that time. You were just like, I work too hard, I do too much. He's like, I'm doing stuff. He's like, I can't be on economy.

No, no, no.

I'm like, you go, Dave.

Um, no, I'll stay. I'll stay at the destination. Like, I, I just won't get on the flight. Yeah. Like, I will stay waiting at the airport. Like, I don't know. I'm very, very divish about those things. And like, we have an assistant that works here that like— like, I'm like very specific about like where my head leans too. So I need to be on the right side of the plane because I sleep to the right. And like, I don't know, it's crazy. And I know if somebody's listening to this podcast, they're like, fuck this guy. Totally. You have 100% reason to say that because I think it's ridiculous. And I'm sorry, I don't want to keep getting into it because people are already fucking pissed.

Naveen was talking about she saw Mark Zuckerberg on Theo Von's podcast.

Oh, yeah.

And she was getting upset because he was trying to be funny.

Well, he's having like an— not an awakening. Yeah, an awakening. Like, people are like, I don't mind when someone like that is like trying. No, totally.

You know what I mean? Like, he's not a comedian.

No, totally. He's like— and like a lot of people for years have called him a lizard.

Yeah.

That he's like not a real person.

Yeah.

And then he's like a robot. Like all the top comments on that too, as can you tell, I'm a big top comment guy. But all the top comments, all the top comments on that were like, like quoting him and they were like, look at my hand sitting on the table. Very human-like, right? My hand's just resting here like a human. It was just him, like his inner monologue trying to be a regular person. No, but I think he's gotten more hipper. Did you see where he dressed like Benson Boone and put on a performance at a wedding?

Yeah, it was his wife's 50th. He put on this big extravagant birthday party and he got the same blue jumpsuit that Benson Boone wore at the Grammys. He got it and did a performance jumping on the piano, jumping on the stage for his wife.

He called Benson to ask where he got the outfit and he put on a whole performance. It's amazing. That's exactly what you should be doing as a billionaire. Yeah, it's fucking incredible. And like, he— like, one of their favorite songs was by T-Pain. It was like Buy You a Drink or something. So he re-recorded T-Pain's song with T-Pain, like, for his wife to hear. Like, it's amazing. Like, that's— there's, there's no harm in that. Like, you can hate billionaires all you want, but that is exactly how you billionaire.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So like, good for him. Hey, I got beef with you.

Okay, go.

Okay, go. First of all, you should— okay, go just means that you're not even scared of what I'm about to say.

I know what you're gonna say.

More so, I know you know what I'm gonna say, but more so it just sounds like you just want a podcast topic when you're not really gonna hear me out as a friend. Okay, go. Great.

I'm just gonna answer— I'm gonna pay some bills while you talk.

I want you to think about what I'm about to say.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Did you think about it last night when you did it?

Yeah, you know what, I just thought But I just thought, you know what, we made it through an hour and a half of the movie.

It's fucked up. We went to the movie theater. We went to, I watched, okay, first of all, I asked Jay if he wants to come to the movies. His wife was here and she was like, Jay, we should go. Like you've been saying you want to hang out with Dave more and this would be a good opportunity. Like she says all this in front of me and I'm like, okay, strange, whatever. Jason is the one to say things like, oh, I want to hang out with Dave more, but then not actually follow through.

I love to hang out. You don't answer my texts.

Hold on, stop saying that I don't answer your texts.

Oh my God, I texted you.

I literally answer your texts all the time.

I texted you and Natalie on Thursday with the new episode. Nothing for 3 days.

I don't listen to the episodes.

You could just write back and just be like, hey, you're gay.

We can't use that word.

Oh, we can't?

Did you not hear last episode? Unless you're meaning it in a positive way, that I'm sending you a compliment. Okay, so anyway, he finally agrees to go to the movies. It's at 10 PM, granted, it's late.

Late.

Jason, Jason should have said no from the beginning. But if you agree to making plans with me, I assume you're going to sit through the whole thing. He texts me with 30 minutes left of the movie saying, Dave, had a blast, heading out.

It's a great movie. Okay, it's good.

And, and, and you say— this is what actually pissed me off the most about it. Yeah, is that you said David had a blast.

Yeah, I had a blast.

It's just like, these aren't real— these aren't real compliments. You realize this. You have fun, or you think you're having fun.

Yeah.

And you're just— and even though you're not having fun, you want to go home. Your body for some reason gives an autopilot response every time and is like, I had a great time, Dave.

Like, I did have a good time.

Like, I can compare this to like if we went to the beach, right? We'd be laying at the beach the entire time. I would probably be able to sense how stressed you are because you're not getting work done, and then you'd leave early, and And even though I know you had like a very stress-filled day, I'd get a text saying, "That was life-changing." Yeah, because I cut it an hour short.

That was the perfect amount for me.

At the beach or at the movie theater?

At the movie theater.

How can you fucking—

First of all, I—

How can you say a movie's a blast and leave an hour early? There's no fuck— it's not fucking possible, Jay.

When Michael B. Jordan— How much is left? Okay, first of all— There's about 40 minutes left.

Spoiler alert.

Okay, there was about 40 minutes left.

Yes.

Right? So I dipped out. I made it through more than half of the movie.

That's crazy. No, I'm so sorry. I mean, this is a— no one's going to agree with you at this point. I'm just saying, I don't want to keep it going because there's no point of arguing about this.

I've got to defend my side. I sat down and about 5 minutes in, first of all, I was at the house and Naveen was like, "Oh, the movie." And I was like, "I told you. I said this is not going to be good for you." No way.

Yeah.

And I was like, "Do you want to cancel?" She's like, "No, we've got to go out and try to have fun. I'm going to try to do stuff that people are doing." And then the movie starts. Starts, and we're about 5 minutes in, and she's like— she looks over at me bored.

She's like, bro, it was an incredible movie.

I mean, it's great, it's great, it's a great movie.

Okay, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, from here—

I thought it would be fun for you to be able to tell me the end. You'll love that, right?

Yeah, you know what, I do love that. No, but like, from now on, Jay— yeah, like, if you do want to hang out, then you gotta hang out. There's no calling it short.

What does that mean?

Sometimes, Jay, maybe I don't want to ask you to hang out because I know how stressed you're gonna be here, like being here.

No!

When I hang out with my boys, my hometown boys who have been here for me my entire life—

Whose rent you pay!

Who's— and by default, they would pay my rent, I hope.

You're taking them to Spain! Is what I heard.

But I'm only doing that because I am the rich one currently, okay?

Right, well, I'm not the rich one. I gotta go home and I gotta get up for work.

They're not the rich ones either. I'll take you to Spain too, but first you have to shoot to. First, yeah, you do. You keep fucking asking me.

Well, okay, okay, okay. So I'm sorry about the movie. I apologize.

It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

Also, I— you sent— I sent you the $45 for the movie.

Did Taylor send it back?

And then you sent it back. Yeah, which then put me in an—

uh, cuz I pay for my friends' movies. I don't— I don't want you to pay for the movie. I, I, I find it offensive.

I'm sending it back.

You're sending it back?

Yeah, sorry.

No, I'm offended. Like, I, I—

offended at the $45?

Huh?

At the $45?

5? Yeah, every movie I pay for. That's like my thing.

Oh no, I don't want you to do that. You're gonna run out of money.

Well, actually, you know what, send it back because you left early.

I am gonna—

and double it. Whatever. Regardless, what happens?

What happens in the end?

Well, I'm not gonna say for people listening, but okay, it was really funny. We got home and we were—

did you have a debrief after?

We always have a debrief. That's the best part of seeing movies together. I know, we hang out for like literally an hour and talk about the movie. It's the best part.

I know.

Um, so, uh, part of our debrief, obviously we were like a little bit confused. There's a lot to unpack in Sinners. It's not just like a movie where you see it once and you know everything. But the one thing our buddy John, my roommate, he didn't understand that he got very— so we were talking, we're like, it's impressive how Michael B. Jordan can play, you know, both parts. He's playing both parts, right? He's playing his twin brother. And John goes, that was Michael B. Jordan twice? And we're like I was like, are you fucking kidding me? He goes, I thought that was just a guy that looked like him. I was like, you thought they cast someone to play Michael B. Jordan's twin that wasn't Michael B. Jordan? This is— these are the types of debriefs that I love and I hate because like, because John for 45 minutes is arguing like political things about the movie, right? Like arguing like some, some deep shit about the film. And it's all out the door when he, when he, when I find out that he didn't know that Michael B. Michael B. Jordan was playing Michael B. Jordan.

All credibility goes out the window.

So yeah, those are my favorite parts about hanging out is the debrief, which you also missed on, but that's okay.

And then also like the 20 minutes of previews before. Did you know that there's a congressman trying to get rid of that?

Why?

Well, did you even catch our theater was fucked up?

No, what happened?

That's so crazy.

You mean the picture?

Are you guys all on crack?

You texted me the picture is messed up.

I said I can't watch this. The picture's ruined. It was out of focus.

That I didn't notice.

You're talking about how the— it was like, like a widescreen, like it was all black on the top and the bottom. Is that the aspect ratio you mean?

It wasn't black on the top and the bottom, it was black on the top and the bottom and the left and the right.

Oh, it was on the left?

Yeah, it was completely— it was like we pirated the movie, and it was so out of focus you couldn't even see some of the characters' faces. It looked like someone was pulling the focus mid-movie and like changing the focus on the cam. I was literally losing my mind watching it. That's why I was kind of bummed, because I couldn't really like take it in like everyone else was.

Also, our seats weren't together, so that really set me off on a bad—

yeah, because Sinners is fucking— it's killing it, dude. There's a lot of—

then I tried to come up and talk to you, and I guess I wasn't supposed to say you had Chipotle in there.

Yeah, you almost got me fucking in trouble, bro. You know, you know, I keep that on the down low. Taylor Lautner texted me about our titles for our podcast.

What'd he say?

Well, our last one was That's a famous person who listens. Our last one was Sleeping with My Horny Friend. He responds, he goes, whoever makes these titles either needs a raise or jail. I can't decide. And I said, I think he's in prison as we speak. Yeah, that is— I feel like we should calm down. I was thinking about it, guys, for the people that listen to the pod, do you think— because the way I see it is like, if you're listening to it in the car or it's on your phone, I don't want someone to like walk by you at the gym and see your phone is playing Coming on My Best Friend's Mouth. Like, I feel like we should like hide them better. Like, you know, like when you order a sex toy from online, it's packaged in like something super neutral, like a box of flowers. Like you have no idea what it is. I feel like our podcasts do the exact opposite. It's like, it's like whatever this dude's listening to, this man has problems. So let us know.

I pitch you 10 titles every week.

Yeah, you do do a good job of pitching me 10 titles.

And a lot of them, like last week's episode, I had Envious of the Younger Me, which I thought was a great title. And you and Natalie didn't bite on that.

No, you go right really deep. Some of the last titles he had for her— these are the last titles Jason came up with for the last podcast. That was 2 days ago. Is it okay to say gay? Which I thought that was cool. Then he, then he did another one that was—

Natalie didn't want that one.

He did another one that was technical definition of cream pie. That was my favorite one. And then he had one that was more like esoteric. And then he had more one that was like Quentin Tarantino style, and it was young Dutch Dumb and Bold, or Envious of the Younger Me, which I thought was really good. Oh, sorry, this is the Quentin Tarantino vibe I got: Delusional Conceited Jackass Until It Works.

Yeah, that was good.

I felt like that was like a real movie title.

I like that.

And then the other ones were just Telling People I'm Gay, Strange OnlyFans Request, Telling My Family I'm Gay, and How to Use the Word Gay. So, so I think from, from here on out, I'm gonna make sure that, um, maybe our title's a little more appropriate. Even like if a brand looks at it. Yeah, all they see is like, Natalie got nudes. Yeah, Natalie got nudes, dick pics, cum, orgies, threesomes with my best friend, orgy with my best friend, full cum. Um, we'll work on it.

There she is.

Jason last night left the movie early. Natalie just walked in.

Oh shit, 40 minutes left.

Jason, I mean, can you—

okay, Natalie just walked in, so she didn't give him— she didn't hear the speech I gave Jason. But do you understand that how this is— go ahead, speak your mind.

Well, I just— I mean, like, if you want to walk out of a movie early, that is own prerogative. Yeah, but just like doing it with David also in the theater, not, not a good idea.

It's just, it's just so— it's so Jason.

Yeah, yeah, it's also like you only had 40 minutes left.

It's like the most recurring Jason Nash theme ever.

I know. Naveen wanted to get— Naveen was like, let's go, it's late. I was like, I know it's late, we got to get up in the morning, we gotta drive Charlie. I'm like, okay, let's just go.

I mean, that's what I bailed on the movie entirely because—

which made more sense because then we can— then we invited someone that was actually excited about the film. Really?

Really?

Yeah, Bella.

Oh, nice. Okay, thank you.

I thought you were— I thought Bella was you.

Really? Yeah, that makes sense.

Natalie's here. No, it's Bella. Um, I don't like the previews. It's crazy. And it's like they've got you in the seat.

Oh, I love it.

You love all that?

I love the— I don't love— now there's— now what they do that sucks is there's 3 ads that play about the movie theater because there's the silence your phones. There's— that's the ad that they play like like it's usually a phone talking and it's being like, "Nobody wants to hear your phone," or something cute like that. Yeah. Oh, the next ad will be an ad for Coca-Cola, but it's also taking place in a movie theater. Uh-huh. And then the ad after that Coca-Cola ad will be the one with what's her fucking face?

Nicole Kidman.

Nicole Kidman.

Yeah, yeah.

That is also in a movie theater. So it's 3 ads in a row that are all like movie theater oriented. That's what sucks. But I love watching the previews. That's fun.

No, no, no. And everything is about being scary.

Well, Jay, that's because we were at like a scary movie.

Yeah, no, I know, but that's what I feel like the only thing they make anymore. Like, where's the comedies? Where's the—

well, the comedies exist.

The way you're sitting right now, you have like a little bit of like your hairy floof kind of just popping out of the bottom.

This is a six-pack, Natalie. Um, my friend Natalie. Yeah, dude, when she uses the bathroom, wait, the pees are so loud. Did we already cover this?

We already covered this. We covered in the last podcast, in the beginning of this podcast.

Okay.

Okay, good.

I just want to make sure.

But has it been happening again?

Yeah, in the last 20 minutes as we've been podcasting. No, no, no. What I want to do cover is I think I figured out why LA nightlife sucks. I texted Natalie about this. This is a big thing because I've been thinking about it because I'm like, why? If I'm going to go to a club, I want to hear Lady Gaga. I want to hear like MGMT mixed with ABBA, some Queen. I want to hear all the bangers of life, like all of them, you know what I mean? Yeah, like I just want to hear everything that's like popping. I don't want to hear no lyric music or house music the entire time. I just, I can't do that. And they don't do that in LA. There's no like, there's no place that's really popular, that's big, that houses a lot of people. Like I'm sure there's like little niche venues that have like 100, 200 people, but there's no big nightclubs here that play music like like that. And I think it's because LA is like the music entertainment capital of the United States, and the people that live here and the people that are DJs are so beyond— oh, that type of music.

Too hip.

Or just— yeah, just too hip. Because it's just like, so— like, you go to Chicago, the main music you're listening to is like top 2000s, top '80s, top '90s. That's all that's playing.

Yeah.

Like, it's very rare to find a place that's like house or like really niche. But everything out here is so fucking niche because the DJs are like, have been studying music for 20 fucking years and they're like, I want to play Queen, this is the new wave. And like, that's, that's what I've realized the problem is, is people here are too educated on what they're just, they're, they're, they're, uh, what do you call, they're snobs, they're music snobs. Not in a bad way, but just like, you just want the hits. Yeah. And I just, I just want to fucking party.

You know what, I think, I think I've noticed that. I think I've been to Chicago and noticed that the music is better. It's, it's better than I go other places.

It's better almost everywhere other than New York, you kind of fall back into that. But go anywhere else in the— anywhere in the world that doesn't have like a crazy niche of like crazy music lovers, and it's a lot more like everybody's dancing, everybody's having fun. And I think that's a big reason why people don't dance in LA nightclubs. I genuinely don't think— there's this whole thing that people think they're too cool to dance in LA nightclubs. I always hear this, and I've said it myself, but that's not true. There's one thing that hot girls love to do, especially super hot LA girls, and that's to dance and like show off their bodies. They fucking love that shit more than any girl in the world. Is like, a hot LA girl will love to be like, oh yes, like kiss.

That's what they're doing.

Do you know what I mean? No, like they do love to do that shit, and I just don't think— I don't think they've had the opportunity to, cuz it's all like house music, and it's all run by like 1 or 3 guys that are inviting 30 girls, and they're playing this very specific music. I have just cracked the code. I texted Natalie this in the middle of the night, and Natalie goes, wow, I was just telling my dad that you have all your good ideas at night. And I was like, yes, I do. And I've just cracked the code for LA nightlife, and I am now announcing my residency at LA Zouk LA Keys coming this summer, where I will only be playing hits that you all know.

Um, I have a little something I'd like to say, just a little shout out to all the girls that listen to this podcast, because I have— since our last podcast, all the girls have been coming into my DMs like, like what, 3 girls? No, no, no, more than 3. But girls just being like, a beer can, you go girl, like you get it, all this stuff. It's really funny, and I've never had that response from the podcast.

That's funny. I totally forgot we talked about that. So I read a DM today and I didn't know what she was referring to, but then I got it. But she was like, I went to go buy Diet Coke because I wanted to see what it was like, and it was so impressive. It's kind of crazy. Yeah, in the last podcast, if you didn't listen to it, Natalie destroyed—

don't say it like that, please. Jesus.

Natalie had sex with somebody who had a penis the size of a fucking 2-liter Coke, um, the way she described it.

That's crazy.

But yeah, thank you ladies for supporting me.

Yeah, if anybody's wondering, Natalie is alive and well.

I survived.

Yeah, pushing around in a wheelchair.

You're gonna see him again.

All right, that's them.

All right, that's enough. Yeah, are you going to see him again?

I don't know.

We had a meeting and his name popped up and he texted. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big dong. He's saved—

shut the fuck up.

You brought it up, dude. You brought up the fuck—

just to say thank you to the girls, not to elaborate on the—

well, maybe the girls want to hear more.

No, no, no. What's our next hangout thing?

What do you mean? You don't want to talk about this big dick?

No, let's leave the guy alone.

We're not going to have more hangouts.

Come on.

No, we can't.

Well, cuz I left the movie early. Really? That's insane.

It's just, it's just time after time, time after time you've disappointed. Now can you just explain this to him?

Uh-oh, you want me to drag me in the middle of it?

Um, I stayed the perfect amount of time that I like. I was like, that was great. I sent him a text, I go, this is great, I got to have a great time.

We did popcorn. I hate when he does that shit.

We all know what's going to happen in the end of the movie.

What happened, you dumb fuck?

Somebody's going to, you know, they're all going to die and blah blah blah blah.

Nope, not at all. Is actually fucking lit what happens at the end of the movie.

Really?

Yeah. But like, Jace is like a tense hanger outer.

Yeah, yeah, it is. It's a little like, it just feels like you're on edge, like you're trying to leave at any given moment. And then as soon as you're given the opportunity, you're like, okay, gotta go, bye.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like there's no hanging out with you. It's just, it's, it, I could feel it in my gut.

But when you do hang out, it is the best.

Yeah, you're a blast to hang out with, but you are constantly looking for an exit.

I don't, I don't, I don't want to stay too long. Like if you have something to go do, I think that's what we're struggling.

You, you'd love doing that. You love blaming on other people. Like yesterday, he didn't want to go to the movie. How many times did he tell Naveen that Naveen didn't want to go to the movie? He was like, babe, you don't want to go, right? You're going to be tired, right, babe? And she's like, no, I'm actually completely fine. I've had so much energy today. He's like, babe, but not later. Later you'll be tired, won't you, babe? So like, no, you blame it on other people. If you want to hang out, totally.

Give me one more chance. Okay, come on, let's ask me to do something.

Tomorrow we're having people over at the house to celebrate the launch of—

okay, what time do I have to be here.

One.

And how long do I need to stay?

That's different. What's different?

Like an estimate hang?

Yeah, that's like we're having some people over because we're launching a new chip company called Wavers. They're actually fucking delicious. I'm excited for people to try them. So we're doing that tomorrow. And yeah.

What's a good hangout time for that?

Oh, sorry.

2 hours?

Why are we putting a time limit?

See, that's the problem.

That's not how you hang out, Jason. I don't know. If you're vibing, you just catch a vibe and you ride that vibe.

Hell yeah. Speaking of riding, can we get back to this Coke can? Oh my God. All right guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening, vibing with us. Um, Jason, thanks for hanging out at least for fucking 40 minutes with me here today. Um, well, I'll keep you guys updated to see if he'll hang out with me this week and I'll let you know. Oh, I'm going to Miami F1, so we'll have a lot of drunk stories to bring up on the next podcast with Zane and Heath too. With Zane and Heath are going. This is big. This is Heath and Zane's first F1. I'm really stoked. He's a big car guy. Zane's a big drunk guy, so it's actually the perfect thing for both of them to do. We'll see you guys next week. Go listen to Jason's pod, whatever it's called, and go give Natalie more compliments if you're a chick. We'll see you guys later. Bye.