Jason's Son Confronts David

What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. Very special episode up ahead here. I can already tell we have a giant in the podcast room.

Wyatt, a giant. Is this like a giant, like a singer, a songwriter?

No, like Jack and the Beanstalk giant.

Yeah, yeah.

No, no, no. Wyatt is here. Jason's son. This man grows. Exponential rate, like almost worrisome. He's barely fitting on the couch here.

Sometimes whenever I walk in and I see you again, you have a look in your eyes like, I know, you've come face to face with death or something. Before he says, and then he'll snap out of it. He'll be like, hey, what's up? You'll just be like, well, because for the first second I have to process.

I'm like, do I know this basketball player? And I'll be like, oh my God, that's a kid I used to know. Yes, no, I definitely have to every time you walk in. I mean, I see you what, every, probably every 12 months. And every time I see you, you make tremendous growth, like quite literally. But yeah, it's been a while.

Todd does that too. He says hi like 3 times and then it's—

Hey, hey, hey. And then it's normal again.

How tall do you plan on getting?

How tall are you now?

I'm aiming for 10 feet.

I don't know if I'll make it. Genuinely, I think you're selling yourself short there. How tall are you?

I don't know. I think I'm like 6'2" or 6'3".

Okay.

Everyone gets really mad. Everyone wants me to be taller so then they're taller.

Wait, that is weird that you're only 6'2", 6'3" because you're You definitely— well, you also have like the bushiest hair that definitely adds a couple feet. Yeah, it's like 4 inches at least. But I think it's also because I just like associate you with being like the son of Jason, my grandson. I also get worried when I see you because I'm like, fuck, has he listened to the episodes where we talk shit about him?

I haven't listened to the episodes yet. I thought it was funny. You guys had like 4 episodes in a row and it was like, guess who David hooked up with? And it's like, guess who's coming over the house? And it's like, we have so much money. And it's like, what happens when we die? I was like, oh, they're going deep.

Yeah, that's how we operate here. I actually ChatGPT'd what we talk about the other day, like on the pod. Dude, I just fell into ChatGPT.

Great.

I heard you talking about it too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm deleting it because it's too much. The amount of like things you can figure out. I had it list 10 celebrities that I could be paired up with to like date. Yeah. Which is fucking crazy. And it gave me great responses.

It did?

Really right on the money.

Well, who did they list?

Well, let me tell you the one it listed that was— that actually isn't really my type, but I thought it was really interesting how it fought back against me. It said Anya Taylor-Joy. And then I said this to Natalie, like, the list, and she's like, Anya Taylor-Joy is married. And then I texted back my ChatGPT, I'm like, she would have to cheat. And my ChatGPT goes, exactly. And that's not something I'd ever encourage or endorse, even in a hypothetical matchup. And then I said, haha, no, it's too late. And my ChatGPT went, haha, alright, fair enough. You caught me slipping once. And now I'm forever banned from the imaginary celebrity matchmaking committee. If David ends up dating Anya Taylor-Joy because of this, well, let's just say I'll deny everything. Why the fuck is my fucking ChatGPT talking to me like a regular person? How is it this smooth? This is fucking crazy.

It trains to you. The more you use it, the more it'll be your thing.

Okay, I just logged in. This was my first search was who do I date? You know, like when you watch the movie Her and he's like falling in love with the robot or whatever.

Yeah.

I remember thinking like, imagine that time, like when that ever is possible. But it's like, it's not even a week away, I think.

Yes, it is.

From something like that happening. Not even a week away. That's how—

The next year will be crazy.

100%.

The next year.

Everyone's gonna have a Jarvis.

Yeah.

Like everyone will have their own Iron Man Jarvis. It'll be in your car. It'll follow you from your house into your car and it'll be in your earbuds. Or whatever. Like, it'll be with you the entire day. Everyone will have their own mental personal assistant. Do you know how fucking dangerous all of this is?

Yeah, I got—

this is crazy.

I got really depressed last night. I got home, had a great time last night, and then I was in bed, Naveen was asleep, and I went down this rabbit hole. And the guys are like, would you send your kid to be a lawyer right now? He's like, all the coders, all the programmers in Silicon Valley, done in the next year. Like, no job.

And then I never thought of like coders.

Yeah, like they're done. Lawyers, you're not going to need a lawyer. Like, it's all based on like what you know. Like, knowledge is everything, right? Well, a lawyer is not going to be worth as much anymore.

Do you need a lawyer?

I think a lawyer would still be worth—

I think it depends on what you're doing.

It's like the same way you don't want a robot for president.

Maybe you need a lawyer to defend you in a murder trial, but I'm saying like if you need a contract done—

You need a guy to sway the court for you.

You need someone with charm, probably.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, a murder trial, sure. But let's say I need a contract done really quick.

Oh yeah.

You know, like, I don't need a fucking lawyer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, not like a trial. Yeah. But also today I had a call and there was like a 70-page deck, right? I didn't read any of it. Zero. And I was like, I have a new buddy. So I literally sent the— I put the PDF into ChatGPT.

I'm rolling my eyes big time right now.

As the call's happening, I have no idea what to say. I put into ChatGPT and I go, give me 8 smart things I can say to make me seem like I've read this thing. It gave me the bullet points of just things to say. And then on top of it, at the bottom, it said, here are some one-liner zingers that are good people to laugh and get you to get them to think that you read the full thing. That's fucking crazy.

Yeah.

And imagine if I talked to my— imagine if I could like physically actually talk to my ChatGPT like I talk to you on the podcast.

You can.

Like, could you imagine, like, what's going to get done, like, in the middle of the night?

So do you think— here's the big question— like, Elon Musk was saying, like, well, there maybe there won't be money anymore. And then here's the question is like, is it— is it—

why?

He was saying like, that's such an Elon Musk thing. He was like, he was like, there might not be need for money anymore because everything will be— will money have value even? Like, if we can have jobs, if everything can be done by robots. So the question is, will it be chaos? Or then what Naveen said this morning to me, she's like, no, it'll be utopia. She's like, no one will work.

No.

She's like, well, I'll just have our robots working for us and we won't have to work at all. No one will have to work.

That is the most optimistic.

Yeah.

That's like if you ask Taylor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Taylor was on a call today earlier with like United Airlines trying to change something. Yeah. And she's such a— she lives in her own like la-di-da-di-da land. They were asking her for the code, for the flight code.

Yeah.

And she was like, it's V as in Vinny. P as in princess.

T as in Theodore, my cat.

T as in Theodore. Literally. But sorry, sorry, I shouldn't stray away from this AI thing. Yeah, I'm very worried about it. Yesterday was my first time playing with it. We've talked about it on the podcast, but yesterday was my first time actually downloading the ChatGPT app.

Yeah.

I didn't know like where to get it. I asked Natalie, I was like, where do you get ChatGPT? She's like, just on the App Store. And I looked into it and I was texting Natalie late last night. She just texted me goodnight because I think I was annoying her. She just wanted me to shut up. But I was like, how have you been using this for 2 months and you're not panicking every day?

Just like he's having this epiphany like a year later than everybody else has had that. Like, I've been using— I use ChatGPT for literally everything I do in my life. Sure. And he was like having this whole meltdown about it last night.

That's funny. Yeah, it's funny to think of him as a Luddite.

No, no, no, it's not. It's not that I just— I just had this epiphany. Like, I'm just like, how the fuck are you using it constantly and not worried? How are you not worried by this? It's going to fucking kill us all. You know what I feel like? I feel like those people on the side of the street that say Jesus is coming. Like, I genuinely feel the need to do do that for some reason, like wake people up. I don't even know enough about this.

I said this 3 podcasts ago.

I downloaded the app yesterday and I'm panicking. If I dive deeper into this, I will lose my fucking mind. Anyway, I asked it what it thinks of the Views podcast and I said, is it funny? And it said, the Views podcast is generally considered funny by fans of their content. If you're into their style, here's a breakdown. Fast, casual humor. It feels like eavesdropping on 2 buddies joking around with an awkward chick that sometimes interjects. No, no, no, no, I'm kidding. Oh my God, if it said that, if it said that shit, I would have thrown my phone at the wall. Why?

Because it was accurate?

Yeah, like, how does it know? What the fuck? Um, and then it says David's charm plus Jason's chaos, the age gap, David in his 20s, Jason in his 40s, leads to good comedic tension. And then they riff on dating, fame, awkwardness, or internet drama in a loose, self-deprecating way. Okay, but you may not find it funny if you're not into influencer culture Or don't follow the Vlog Squad. You prefer structured topic-based podcasts. This is the one that hurt the most. Or you find their humor immature or repetitive. Repetitive. That's rude. It often leads— no, I don't even want to read that because it often leads on bro energy. I don't like that. It's actually like feels like kind of the rudest thing to say.

Well, you guys say bro a lot.

We do?

To each other.

Am I— do I come off fratty on the podcast?

No.

No.

Well, I don't listen.

Okay. I was going to say, do you listen?

I don't listen.

You come off bro-y sometimes, but then also sensitive.

No, I definitely dabble in everything. Bro energy just scares me.

I feel like you walk into the room and you exert bro, and then you bring back in sensitiveness.

Okay. I'll take that. Should I stop talking?

No, no, no, not stop talking. Keep the mic up to your mouth.

Keep talking. Oh, keep the mic up.

Talk more.

Jason just sent Wyatt to put the mic up to his mouth. Is that reflective of the home environment you guys have created.

No, I don't want me to shut the fuck up, Dad. I don't need to see him anymore. He's in New York.

There's also one more thing he says. You might not find it funny if you're sensitive to tone-deaf moments. In some episodes, their jokes have skirted bad taste.

Of course, that's every podcast.

If you enjoy David's vlogs or casual off-the-cuff podcast banter, it's a solid hangout-style listen. If not, it might just feel like two dudes talking about nothing.

That is funny.

Wow.

That's incredible. I mean, I don't want to keep talking about AI. Also, it's taking notes from our podcast. Like, isn't that fucking crazy?

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, take everything, everything that we put up on the internet. I hope it takes my fear of it. Not as I'm against it. I am with you, future robot guardians. Like, I want to participate in the legion and whatever you guys need me to do, I will do.

Sure.

Keep my family safe. I am afraid of you because I do not deny your powers. Oh my God.

Let's wrap up this AI segment.

No, I can't. This is really funny. You're talking to the robot.

Robots that are gonna kill us. You're begging for mercy.

Yes.

Yeah, you're begging for mercy.

It's so funny, you guys are all laughing. You guys are gonna get fucked.

It says he's gonna work for us. We'll keep him alive.

Wait, look at episode 659. He pledges his allegiance. Jay, if you ever want to see your son in concert, you know the best way to buy tickets?

Yeah, SeatGeek.

No, you should probably text him. He's your son.

Oh yeah.

Yes. If you're not, uh, Wyatt's father, you should be using SeatGeek, guys. SeatGeek is our sponsor for our vlog today, or whatever whatever this is, podcast. I'm losing my mind slowly. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports festivals, and more. Bottom fucking line is any ticket you want to any artist, to any fucking event, SeatGeek, that's your fucking number one go-to. We've always been using it. They're a supporter of the show, they're supporter of all the videos we made, and they're, they're just the best. So I can't buy you guys all new cars, but I can help you— it's— I gotta change that line every time they write that. I gotta stop reading it. But I can help you with 10% off your next set of tickets on SeatGeek with promo code VIEWS10. That's 10% off tickets with promo code VIEWS10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, SeatGeek. That's code VIEWS10. Jason had the best birthday speech last night at dinner. He goes— I wrote it down because I couldn't believe it.

I saw your face while I was doing it. I was like, this is not going well.

He goes, he goes, guys, guys, guys, just before we eat, I want everyone to know last night I I saw Judd Apatow at a party and I was scared to walk up to him. And Naveen told me I should walk up to him. So I did. And I told him how much I love him and he was just so incredibly sweet. And it just reminded me, I love all you guys. And I'm like, what? Did you just want to name drop a celebrity before your dinner? It had no correlation to his next thought. Yeah, it was just like, I got to let everybody know while I have their attention. I ran into Judd Apatow last night.

It was such a thrill. I was so excited. No, I mean, yeah, it made me jazzed all day.

He's great. Where did you run into him?

Uh, we went to—

I know you're dying to talk about it.

We went to Mike Birbiglia's screening for his Netflix special. Mike Birbiglia is this great comedian, and so he invited me. I've known him for a long time, and it was really fun.

What did you say to Judd?

Oh, I was like— Niamh Bean's like, you have to talk to him. I'm like, no, no, no, I can't, I can't, I can't. And she was like, you have to, you have to. And I was like, okay, okay. So I went up to him and I just said, hey, I don't want to bother you. I just said, the Garry Shandling documentary is This is my favorite documentary of all time. It's unbelievable. And he was like, oh wow, thank you so much. And then why'd you make him sound AI? I was trying to do his voice. And he was, he was super nice and engaged. And then, and then he starts telling me— it was so funny— like, he starts telling me like what he's, what he's doing. He's like, he's like, oh, we're doing a Mel Brooks documentary.

Oh, that's sick.

And then he goes, and we're doing a Norm Macdonald documentary.

And then— oh, you love Norm Macdonald.

I worked for Norm Macdonald.

Yeah.

So then I had something to say. Oh, like, I always blow it with celebrities. I never have a good, good conversation with celebrities. My thing is like, if I really love the person, I'll say hi and I try to get out. So then I go, I go, oh, I have something to say, I have something to say. And I go, I used to work for Norm MacDonald. And he went, no way, actually, actually. So I was there, then I was in.

Wow. And then what happened? And then you had to go.

Then the security came.

Yeah, I know.

And then we talked about Norm MacDonald. I told him one funny Norm MacDonald story.

He doesn't need you in the doc for like a perspective.

I thought he would ask, but he didn't. But I'm sure that's gonna be covered by Dave Chappelle. But, but, and then I, and then I got out. I was like, I don't want to take any more time. And I got—

that's my problem. Yeah, in relation to relationships. Yeah, that's all I want to talk about in conversations, is like all I'm thinking about when anything that— yeah, when anytime there's a good conversation, I'm like, how do I get out? How do I get out? How do I get out? That's all, that's all that's going on in my brain. And I know people can start seeing that. I just don't know how to like remain in a conversation, especially when I'm like out, like at dinner, I run into to somebody, the immediate thing when someone says hello to me is, what's my exit here? Just because I don't want to bore them or stand in awkwardness. I just hate it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, that was just after, after I said, got out quickly, I was like, man, I should have stayed in for a little longer. No, I know, but that's what you think.

Yeah, yeah.

But, but he's somebody that I've just like, I was thinking about it, I was like, there's like 5 people that I would love to talk to, and he was one of them.

Yeah, no, no, he's really sick. Speaking of docs that you just brought up, the doc that I've been watching, well, I finished it, I think it was only like 2 or 3 episodes, was the Osama bin Laden doc. Oh yeah, I I want to rewatch it with Natalie because he reminds me a lot of her. And I think there's a lot— You keep saying this.

It's so crazy.

Very powerful.

Very powerful.

The picture you paint of me is literally insane.

I know. I'm so sorry.

Last podcast, I was dry heaving in the corner like a fucking slug. Now I'm up on my feet.

You were dry heaving in the corner?

Yeah.

You were like, oh, who's the girl drooling in the corner or something? I don't even remember what you said.

Wait, when did I say that?

Was that last podcast?

Yeah, last podcast.

Oh, last podcast. Oh, yeah.

I remember what happened.

No, but the doc is really fucking good. It's interesting because it's the moments that they decide they think they know where Osama bin Laden is. Osama bin Laden, by the way, is the guy who we all know. No, Natalie's mom didn't know who it was. She thought— she thought— she's like, yeah, I know Biden. It's different.

It's so funny.

Osama bin Biden, different people completely. He's the guy who did 9/11, basically, who like— head of al-Qaeda is the better way to put it. Takes takes responsibility for everything. But there was a moment— for, for 10 years after 9/11, they couldn't find this man. They didn't know where he was. And then they had like a little bit of an inkling of where he might possibly be. So it was like a really big decision.

He was in Pakistan.

Yes.

Yeah.

And it was in a house in Abbottabad.

The night before they were supposed to go take down Obama, Obama was like, this only stays between us in this room. Like, don't tell anybody in the government. It is just us, like 6, 7 guys or whatever who men and women who are there. And that night, right before, they're going to the White House Correspondents' Dinner, and they all have to act like not one of the biggest things is happening in 6 hours, right? And then Seth Meyers comes on stage, and like, Correspondents' Dinner, like, everyone's cracking jokes and everything. Yeah. And Seth Meyers makes a joke about Osama bin Laden's location or something as a joke, and Obama's laughing, Secretary of Defense is laughing, everybody's laughing. But meanwhile, they're like hiding this fucking ginormous secret. Yeah, yeah, it's so fucking crazy.

Crazy.

And it makes Seth Meyers, like you said when I told you makes Seth Meyers look so silly and so small.

Yeah, yeah, it really diminishes him.

Yeah, because here's Seth like making a joke about Osama. Yeah, kind of punching— he's punching at him, but really they're like, this idiot doesn't know, but we're gonna shoot this guy in the head tomorrow.

Does he go into the guys that shot him and everything?

Guys, the guy that killed him walks you through— yeah, going through the house.

Oh, that's great.

And killing him. Yeah, it's fucking crazy.

And his kids are there too. Bin Laden's kids.

Bin Laden's kids are there. Yes, multiple wives. You know, he was listening to The Views podcast? Please take me.

Oh my gosh, it's funny but no structure.

That's really funny. Natalie's so horny. She's so horny.

Last podcast, you know, Danny Duncan was making fun of your car. Yeah, which was really funny. And then I thought about it and I was like, well, I can't really make fun of that car because I'm so told that that car is really comfortable. But I did see your car yesterday, and it was like— it was like a 58-year-old mom with like frosted tips.

Oh my God.

Yeah, I was like, Dave! And I was like, oh no.

Oh, you saw my exact color?

That's our exact car.

Oh, there's only one exact color.

Well, it was that car in that— in that—

no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying, yeah, you did see it, but—

well, you're saying you have the only one?

No, there's two.

There's two.

So you— I— this person I've been texting about constantly.

Really?

People always are like, you're in Hollywood? I'm like, no, no, no, it's not me. Look inside.

A woman named Pam has car.

Some bitch stole your car with frosted tips. Yes, my car is very woman-like.

I like the car.

That's what I like. I really like feminine things. Like, my favorite car growing up was a Toyota MR2 Spyder. I don't know what that— I like little car, little cars, little goofy Mini Cooper style cars. Yeah, or just like fun bubbly colors. That's what I like, right? I'm not into the mean machines.

This is good for balancing out the bro energy. I like feminine things.

Yeah, there you go. That's exactly what I'm doing. All right, back to you, Wyatt.

I'm sorry, Wyatt pulled up today. Wyatt pulled up to the house today and he goes, wow, so many Lamborghinis. Lamborghinis. It's just one.

This is two. Yeah, one's a Ferrari. That's fine. So you're a freshman in college?

Yeah.

Okay. What's that? Yeah, are you having sex? That's all you needed?

No, I can't. I can't. I'm in line to— I want to become the next Pope, so I can't. I'm celibate.

Really?

Yeah.

You know how I see things that, um, Dwight, I'll like see things on the internet and then I'll bring them to David and Natalie and they'll be like, that's real.

Do you run it by Wyatt first?

I should. Like, is this real? Like, I saw this thing the other day.

Sharks with lasers?

No, the guy's like, look, the best thing you can do is rub urine on your face.

Yeah, that's real.

Is that real?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Like, I watched it for a while and he was like, if you want like great skin, like, you like pee in a jar and rub urine all over your face. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know if this is a joke or— and then I asked Naveen, she's like, that's not real.

No, it's actually not.

It's not real.

My grandma did used to say, rest in peace, piece that she would want to drink my pee. That was like her big thing all the time.

That's that Nathan Fielder thing.

What do you mean?

It's like the famous one time Nathan Fielder's ever broke interviewing somebody. He's like interviewing this guy, he's like, yeah, you gotta drink your grandson's pee every day. You have to drink your grandson's pee.

Was he European?

I don't know, because he's Canadian.

Oh, okay. No, not Nathan Fielder, the guy he's interviewing.

No, I— why did your grandmother want to drink your pee?

It was like, um, it's very— it's difficult to translate because when I met in—

yeah, the one that just passed.

Yeah, in Hungarian In Hungarian, my uncle would call me penis and he'd call the girls pussy. But in Hungarian, it's like endearing. Sure. I don't know how to describe it. Like the way the words roll off the tongue. It's how you would refer to like a little person. I don't know how to fucking explain that. It's like pure, like it's like very cute.

Yeah. My grandmother in Spanish would have something similar where she would call me, I think, cosita or something.

She called me a cunt. Come here, cunt.

That's an English word, Natalie, and that is offensive.

And your cosita is like, you're like, it's like a tiny vagina, like your little—

right, okay. So it is like a grandma thing. And yes, with that, my grandma would also be like, I want to drink your pee, I love you so much.

No, my grandma didn't do that.

No. And I remember, I remember I started to get old enough where I could like question it. Like, I think I was like 5 where I was like, are you being legit? And then she was like, yes. There was one moment where I really went far, and I was like, you actually want to drink my pee? And she's like, if you put in a cup, I would drink it.

Did you ever do it?

No, I wasn't old enough to.

Like, it's got to be a saying, like, like, I love you so much, I would drink your pee.

Totally.

I'm not saying she actually wants to drink it, right?

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying she's like a vampire and she like needs this pee or wouldn't be able to leave Grandma's house without peeing in this jar.

You know what's really weird? I think in my dream last night, everyone was drinking pee.

Really?

Yeah.

Why? It just starts sweating.

But I have dreams like that. I'll have a dream and then it happens the next day, and I don't know why.

Holy Yeah, he's—

he said he has a funny life.

Like, things about somebody, and I'll— and then I'll meet them the next day.

What? Like, who— what do you mean meet them the next day? Like a celebrity?

I remember there's somebody at my— like, somebody like I knew vaguely, and I did, and then all of a sudden they're in my dream and I had a crush on them in my dream. And then the next day—

right, hold on, for a musician, you're really bad at holding the mic by your mouth.

It's not by my mouth.

No, you— it almost keeps like leaving your hands.

Oh, sorry.

Like, it's like an umbrella.

Sorry, no, no, no, you're okay. What, what, so you had a dream about a girl and then the next day you met her?

Yeah.

Wow, like a random girl, someone that you had—

no, someone like I knew of, and then I met them the next day. Or I'll like, I'll like have a dream about playing this show and it'll be like, do you want to play this show? The next day.

Does this happen 100% of the time or just sometimes?

No, just randomly, cuz I don't remember the dream until it happens in real life, and then it's like, oh, that was in my dream.

Do you think he has your luck?

He, or he has your—

huh? He, he has his grandmother's urine. He has—

he drinks it every day.

How much left? How much do you have left? He has your grandmother's urine.

No, he just has like really good luck. He'll tell me about his life, okay, and I'll tell him about mine, and I'll be like, oh my God, let's see who has better luck.

Heads or tails?

Heads.

Siri, flip a coin.

I'm usually opposite about these things.

It's tails this time.

It's tails.

Yeah, fuck, I jinxed it.

I'm sorry. From here on out, your son is damned.

No, but he just goes through life and everything happens for him. It's crazy. Like, he'll get shows.

Well, the dream thing is really interesting. So you're in a band.

Yeah.

But you're not having sex. I mean, is that not the only reason to be in a band?

You know who Zane Lowe is?

No.

Zane Lowe is like the—

Oh, yes. The interviewer.

Yeah. He interviews bands, like serious interviewer. It's just funny, like your take on it.

Oh, well, wait. Is he in a band too?

No.

He's like an Apple Music interview guy.

When he interviews artists and musicians, musicians and he asks like actual thought-provoking questions and all you're like is like, so are you fucking or what?

Well, I'm just like, like, what was the concept of this album?

And were you— who are you having sex with at the time?

Um, no, I mean, I guess, yeah, I guess I could ask more profound questions.

No, ask him. I want to know. I would never ask him that, right? Yeah, go.

I don't know.

You having sex? I don't— I don't want to go back into it. You guys gave me such a hard time for it.

I, I don't like to associate the two. Also, like, there's this thing sometimes after a show where it's like people want to come up to you and I leave always, right? Right away because I don't like it.

That's not good because I don't—

it's like, it's not— it's not you, it's the— it's the image of you. And it's like, I don't know.

That's not—

I actually don't understand that concept, that image of you. Can I be honest? I feel like you're lying to yourself when you say that.

Maybe.

I feel like you're— you're new to it and maybe you're saying it because that's what like the world has taught you to say, but I think that's you up there. I don't think there's an image of you. I genuinely think that's you. I don't like when people are like, that's not me up there.

But is it—

that's not really me. It's like, yeah, it actually is for at least an hour of the day. That's definitely you up there, right?

I guess. But is it like you up there? Is it you because you're up there?

Huh?

Is it like you up there, you 'cause you're up there, you know?

Um, is it you up there or is it you 'cause you're up there? What the fuck does that mean?

Like, like, sorry. Yeah, I don't know, but I guess because it's you, because yeah, I guess it is you up there.

It is you up there. And like, are you putting on an act? I hope so. I hope you're not just fucking playing with your dick up there. Like you're putting on a performance. That is a version of you up there. It's like, so I just, I don't like when people like come back from there like—

this sounds like it'd be a pep talk from like, I hope you're not just playing with your dick up there, son.

You got No, but like, like it or not, and I only say this in a compliment, like, complimentary way, like, that is, that is you. Like, if you're playing a concert and maybe you feel like you're not actually like that badass up there on stage, that is literally quite exactly you. But like, you can't, you can't be rocking it out all fucking day.

I'm with David.

Yeah, I think there's multiple versions of you. And this goes back to the question that where I fucking lose my mind about when someone goes, who's the real David Dobrik? I'm like, there's fucking 30 ways to answer this, brother. Why this door is Just open. It's just the air pressure. Yeah, when I don't know.

Seal Team Six.

They're from the future.

Yeah.

This podcast you're recording right now cannot go up. It cannot go up. It affects the AI legion. Sorry, I was obviously joking by, I didn't want to like come off and be like, do you have sex?

No, I don't.

But I don't get to talk to too many people in a band and you're like a young guy in a band where I do think like, sure, there are some cool things that come with being in a band and that's sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

But I guess, yeah, I don't do really any drugs.

No, that's good. And I'm sorry, I'm not pushing you to, to do it too. I'm just like, right, Jay?

Yeah, you really shouldn't, because what happens is you're gonna like—

I just, I think I, I just don't—

you know what I mean?

That's really funny.

I think that is, that is the thing that you should— that kids should know about drugs is they're awesome, and then, and then eventually they're not. Yeah, yeah. And that's the problem, is like, you will like them.

Charlie Wyatt, they're so good, they're so good, and you're gonna want them so much, and it's just never gonna That's really funny.

And eventually, you know, it fucking cripples you.

No, yeah, 100%.

I think I just know that it's gonna like— like, I've never had a cigarette or like a vape before. And I think a cigarette looks really cool. Like, you know, it's like—

good, good.

God, I was like—

it's like, because, you know, you want to— like, it looks so sick because it's like you're like wielding fire in your hands.

Yeah, no, I've been trying to get a cigarette brand deal on this fucking podcast.

There's no doubt. Because it's like— oh, it's like also You want to talk to somebody? If you want to talk to somebody outside, it's like, oh, let's share a cigarette.

I hate when people share cigarettes.

Yeah, I don't do it, but I think it's a great—

Jay, I don't know how you raise these kids. This is pretty incredible. I mean, it's like every kid is like kind of built to perfection.

I don't know how they got this way either.

I mean, it is bizarre. Now, are you seeing this? Like, I can't even like— I am trying— I have to play the devil here on this podcast today because there is an angel among us. I'm trying my best to tempt him.

I'm in line for the Pope. Yes, that's what we're going for. I'm trying to tempt him. I get it. I'll get you in.

Thank you so much.

They've always been like that. I remember I would pull into a handicap spot when I was— they were kids and they'd flip out. They'd be like, what, what are you doing?

That is weird. Why would you do that?

Well, I pull in for a second, like, you know, I'm not leaving the car in the handicap spot. If someone came—

what if someone handicapped comes in? You're in the story.

There's no cars behind us. Weird.

No, it's not. It's fine. You're pulling in for a minute.

Bad example.

Sorry. If there's—

no, that's not true. If there— you've never done that? You've never pulled into a handicap handicap spot.

Replace him with AI or something.

And then one of the coolest things, my grandma's, then we pulled into a handicap spot and I was like, you can't do that. You can't do this. I was like, yes, I can. Just put up the handicap.

And then we waddled to the store. Yeah, with Lorraine, it's possible. I'm being serious. But I'm also like, also to Jason's point, like, yes, obviously there are some fun drugs out there, but like, no, it's just, it's so not worth it.

But also too, like, you have your music and that.

No, that's—

yeah, I feel like I'm sounding like a narc, but it's like, and I don't, and it's like, I'm around—

you're sounding like a narc.

You know, and I think I'm around a lot of people who do all that. So I'm like, Oh great, everyone's doing it, I just don't.

No, you're not sounding like a narc. And a good point is you are a musician, so I feel like you get the craziest high probably from performing.

Yeah, it's true. And I want to— and I think also with performing, I've found like I'll be on stage and it's like there's like a brain fog. Like I want to know exactly what the drummer's thinking and what like the bass is. I like want to be able to read everyone's minds, and there'll be like a brain fog on stage where sometimes— and it's like, or sometimes on stage it's like it's so clear, like everything's in slow motion and I can like control everything that's happening. And I think I don't want to do any drugs because— or like, wait, you feel like you get this brain fog when you're sober? No, when I just don't sleep enough for if I'm like, or if I'm drinking.

So you want to be 100%? Yeah, because then the brain fog comes.

Yeah, so like, so leading up to like a really big show now, sometimes I'll just like try to like, like trying to get to the state where it's like just be so on it.

Zed had this interview where he was talking about, he's like, for a while I would only do shows drunk. He's like, I couldn't do shows sober and I thought that was the only way. And then once I finally took the leap and started doing things sober, I realized that the best feeling of the shows was never ever from the alcohol, it was just from the shows and in general. Being a rock star is like literally my dream, so I'm kind of jealous of you.

Why don't you do it?

Yeah, I can't sing.

This is gonna sound like an insult, but I don't mean it like one, because you spend— I feel like you spend so much time—

here it goes—

playing like pickleball and like pool, and you're really, really good because you— I think you're really good.

There wasn't even an insult there. No, but unless you really think pickleball— no, no, I thought it was cool.

No, no, I think if you spent the same amount of time learning to sing or learn to play, if you really want to do that, you'd appreciate it. I think you're very good at learning stuff.

I appreciate it. It's too— I'm too old for that.

Everyone says that though.

I'm not—

it's like, I think so.

I think it's something I need. I think a proper rock star maybe is someone that wants it from fucking— like, I don't think you could just—

I guess you gotta really switch.

Yeah, it's— I think it's from birth.

Who's somebody you've seen that's like a proper rock star?

Well, Freddie Mercury. I love like that Bohemian Rhapsody documentary. I just rewatched it. I love him. Yeah, and I love him because he's not an asshole. He's like— if you watch it, he really cared about his like group.

Yeah, yeah.

And like, there was a moment maybe he lost a little bit, but it was never like he became a total asshole.

Yeah. Didn't you say that about Bruno Mars too? Didn't you see Bruno Mars?

I mean, every time I see a singer, I'm like, I'm so jealous.

Yeah.

Because it's just like, you go up on stage, you do this like really cool superpower.

Yeah.

And then you come down and you talk to everybody, all the rest of the humans. I just think it's so interesting. I just think it's so cool because you could be at a bar and there's a piano, and then all of a sudden you could literally change the entire atmosphere of the place.

Yeah.

And like, what other human can do that? Nobody can do that. How many shows do you play a year?

I don't know. It's always getting more and more. So it's like kind of like—

wait, what's the band called?

Well, I'm in two now. So, so like the main— like the— so there's this band, Great Big Cow.

Yeah, I love that name.

You do?

Yeah, I don't— I think I've always loved it.

Oh, good.

We were an ongoing joke here where I always shit on you, and I'm completely kidding. But the, the one thing I couldn't shit on is the name. I loved it right away. Oh, good. Yeah, right when you said it, I, I was like, I can't even make a joke about this because Great Big Cow is fucking Incredible. Yeah, I love that name.

Uh, well, we do, uh, we're doing— we're playing the Troubadour in July.

Okay, I'm in.

And then July 14th.

July 14th.

Yeah, that's really fun. Okay, so how many shows you think you play? Well, the thing with the Troubadour, that's fucking big.

Yeah, we've sold it out a couple times.

You've sold out the Troubadour?

Yeah, I've told you this.

Yeah, I've been—

it's different when it comes from—

and that's been— that went to the Troubadour.

It did.

Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, where are these people finding you? From social media?

There's just like a certain LA, like, you can just like— by doing enough shows, like, there's like a kind of music scene that you have.

Groupies?

No, just like people in the scene.

Do you not like to call them that?

Well, it's not groupies, there's just people that like this music.

Dude, that's amazing.

And then in New York, I'm in this band called Nudey. N-U-D-E-Y.

N-U-D-E-Y? Yeah.

That's cute.

Come on, and you're gonna be the Pope?

Yeah.

Is there gonna be a moment where you're gonna have to choose which band to go with?

I don't think so. Wow. I think it's just different outlets, different sounds. And then I think, and 'cause Great Big Cow will happen like in trips usually, and Nudie Happy will happen like consistently in New York.

What's your position?

I just kind of do like guitar and sing for both in the front.

So you sing in the front for both?

Yeah.

Are you lead guitarist?

Yeah.

They trade off.

Yeah, we trade off. We all do stuff. And then so we'll try to like record an album this summer with Great Big Cow and hopefully—

Do you make money from this?

Yeah, but it's kind of like a—

Can it be your full-time job yet or no?

No, 'cause the money goes back into it to fund the next thing and And then it just kind of keeps going.

Not to put pressure on you, but you know Jay's been banking on you becoming a rock star for the last 7 years.

Come on, Wyatt.

Let's go. Yeah, so you got a lot of pressure on you. I mean, I think there's a good amount of hours documented of him talking about it.

I think about it, and then I'm like, well, what am I going to do? Like, have him buy me a house? I'm like, all right.

Or just like send you to a good retirement home.

I mean, I think you'd say this to me when I was little. It's sweet. But then you'd be like, if you got me something, you'd be like, I'd be like, thanks so much. Thank you. I don't say thank you. This is an investment. This is an investment into your future and to mine.

Remember when I told you to quit school?

Yeah, he told me to drop out of middle school.

Middle school?

Jay, what?

I was like, because I was going to like, you interviewing to get into high school. I know actually I was in like 7th grade and I was talking about high school. He was like, why don't you just drop out? What are you doing all this for?

I think I'm starting to figure out Jay's parenting skills.

And then my mom would be like, no way, no way. He has to learn. He has to become educated. And he's like, No, just like put him in his room, have him make music all day. He's going to help us out. And he's like, if you just, if you just have— Your dad told you to leave middle school and just like go to your room and make music all day. He was like, why don't you just go make music all day every day?

Jay, you saw her gambling.

And I was a little bit like, I was like, I guess I could do that. But he's like, but I want to learn stuff.

Go make music, Charlie. Just start TikTok and fucking dance. Do something. We're going to make money quick. Next year we'll be rich.

But then I—

I don't remember saying that, but I probably did.

I mean, I think in part I would have, I would have probably like, yeah, your mom and your dad are the perfect combo.

Yeah, for raising a kid. I mean, that's what it is. I think you have to have your kind of dadness, which is like you're underplaying everything in life and like, fuck it, go do blow in your room, figure it out. You start enough lines so you come out with a hit song.

Drugs are awesome.

And then you have your mom who's seems super Type A, who's like very much, very much on the other side of things, who's like— and that's how, that's how I would love to be in my relationship too. That's, that's how when I always describe my wife, I'm always just like, it's somebody that knows everything. I mean, it's like in control of everything.

That's nice when you have that part.

I think totally funny about my mom is my mom's not like particularly strict. It was just like that what would happen at my dad's house was so crazy.

It made her look like a strict mom.

So she'd be like, I'd be like, come here, brush my teeth. She's like, yeah, let's go get ice cream, let's go eat cookies, and like all this stuff. And we'll stay up till midnight. And like, she was She was like very, very chill. But then I go to my dad's house, she'd be like, there's a car in the pool!

There's a car in the pool!

Oh, there's a motorcycle in the pool! Remember when Jonah— and we couldn't use the pool for a month or something because Jonah electrocuted the pool because he put a motorcycle in the pool? And I'd be like, is everything okay? He's like, yeah, there's just— there's a motorcycle in the pool. So it'd be like, it made her seem like she was the keeping it all like together.

Yeah, she's pretty chill.

She's pretty—

she's pretty chill.

She's just like, go to school. And he's like, yeah, cool.

That's really funny.

Partly when I said that, Wyatt, I— there's a part of There's manipulation going on there.

Yeah, I know.

Which manipulation is, is he has to figure out himself. You have to figure out yourself. But also, I wanted you to know that I believed in you that much.

Yeah, no, I know. Wow, that's sweet.

And I said, like, if I say this to him, he'll know that I believe it. Yeah, yeah, because I'm cutting school.

I mean, when I was—

that's really sick.

When I was leaving for college, he— it's the coolest thing I've actually ever heard you say, Jay.

Yeah, I gave him— when I was leaving for college, I gave Hold on, Wyatt, let's bask in this moment for a second. Did you hear what he just said?

Let's say it again.

If I—

yeah, I said it.

Now you have to say it again. That was pretty sick.

No, I think I'm aware of all that. I'm saying it in a funny way now because I want the podcast to be funny, but I always know.

One thing that I think was cool is when you and I were making stuff, he saw that.

Yeah, I think that was very cool.

And I know that made him a certain way.

He saw what? Me taping you to the wall?

My favorite, my favorite night of all time. This is my favorite. It was like a Friday night. I had the kids over and it's like me, you, Corinna, and Todd. And I'm like, well, I'm sure David and Todd are gonna go out and party and I got the kids. And I don't mind, I love, I love being with the kids. But I was like, but you like hung around, you didn't go out. And so why didn't I watch you for like 2 hours try to get gum into your mouth?

It was 3.

Was it 3? 3 hours. It was the funnest time I could have ever had in my entire life.

Oh, I remember I was trying to keep— you were just like juggling gum with feet and then back in my mouth.

And you brought 5 packs of gum over because you would do a new one because you'd spit it out of your mouth onto your shoe.

That's really funny.

And you tried to— and you wanted to do 3 kicks back into your mouth, and it was 3 hours.

Remember when you had to shoot me with a paintball gun for the Onewheel?

Yeah.

Did I shoot you? I thought I shot— I thought I tried to shoot something else. Was it you?

I think you had to shoot a can off my knee or something. Yeah. And remember the Onewheel was like— that was the price. Did you know what a Onewheel is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was really pissed back then, like, because it's like all we talked about was this Onewheel.

No, I know, I remember.

Because I was trying to— I was like trying to invent a hover board. I remember I was like, wait, this is really close.

Oh yeah, you're like an inventor. You're like putting weird shit together.

Yeah, I wanted to invent—

you like found out why time travel wasn't possible or something?

I thought I did.

I remember Jason came to me and he was like, dude, Wyatt's got it, we can't do it. So Wyatt's come to the conclusion we can't time travel. Okay, good, I'm glad we know for a fact.

But I remember, I mean, I think that's why it's such a great dad, because I'm gonna— I mean, I think I wanted to make a perpetual motion machine.

Yes.

When I was like 10, and there's no way to do it.

And he—

I think you knew there wasn't a way to do it, but then you were like, yeah, let's do it, just like be like on board with me trying to do it every day, even though just for me to find out for myself that it wouldn't work, I guess. But I think that's, that's a sweet thing to just like endlessly believe.

Wow, Jay, I really— I wasn't familiar with your game.

But when I, when I was going away to college, I think my mom gave me like— she was crying, she gave me a hug, and I gave her— and she was like, go to like school, it's gonna be great. And then my dad gave me a hug, and then he pulled me close, he went, don't do too many classes. He's like, why? He's like, he's like, just do the music. Don't like do like— hold phone in the middle, don't do too many classes.

And I was like, remember where the money is.

He was crying, he stopped crying, he's like—

and it 'Cause I think 2030, Lincoln Navigator, beige interior. I know you'll have it. I know you'll have the money by then. 2030, Lincoln Navigator.

But that— I think it's like most people would be like, go, go do a lot of school.

But you're like, I think, you know, now I know where your road is gonna be.

So I think that's— I think that's very—

damn. Well, you know, it's funny, I'm wishing you the best, Wyatt. I really hope you— I hope you figure out this music thing. That'd be cool.

I think it was cool seeing you guys do stuff, seeing him— like, you guys go out every night and try to make a vlog and then be like, oh, then and I should try to make a song every night.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So what did you mean by that? Oh, just like to feel creatively—

just the drive of like, I think seeing— and then him being like, hang out with us. And then it'd be like 10 and he'd be like so tired. He's like, I'm going to go out to Hollywood and I'm going to film a vlog like all night. And then he'd wake up early and then take us to school. And then I'd see you like being like, just like really needing to make something, I think.

Yeah.

And I think the drive to like really have to make something and like seeing how tired you guys would be and just still needing to do it is something like I was really like, I want to do that.

Damn, that's sick.

Yeah. And I think I also— no offense to everybody else in the vlog scene that I saw, but I think what I saw in like you guys, which I really liked, that I didn't see in other people's— that like the same thing of like the drugs and sex and other things like that. I feel like you guys were always very like, what's like the best vlog we could make?

Yeah, I mean, that was definitely our drug.

And I think I was very like, I want to do that with music. Like, I don't want to get distracted by all these other shit.

Who knew we were such a good influence? Send this to Business Insider.

I think that was sweet to grow up around that energy.

Damn, that's sick. I mean, that exactly brings me back to why it makes sense that you don't do drugs, is because just being on stage, or us, like, when you're creatively, like, fulfilled, properly creatively fulfilled, then you have, like, an outlet. And not only is that outlet working, but it's, like, successful. That's, like, the craziest fucking drug in the world. Yeah, it's, like, all you want to do, which is, like, yeah, like, it's like when artists come off from, like, touring, they're all like, I'm so fucking depressed. Like, they're— like, they just— it's like literally the biggest comedown of all time from what I hear.

He almost didn't come today because he wanted to go make music. Yeah, but I made him.

But I want to know, I wanted to come.

But Wyatt, thanks for joining us. That was— yeah, it's really interesting. We got like two different perspectives from each of your kids.

Who is better?

I— Wyatt, I was like, there's no way you're gonna beat Charlie. And I'm honestly not just saying this, I think they're both like perfectly Equal. Like, I think they're both like so interesting.

Oh, so sweet. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think, I, I think with them, the, yeah, why I was like slow to answer the other, the drug sex questions, if there's someone I really like, that's worth the time, then I'll like make the time.

No, no, don't look for it. That's when it comes from.

And I think when it comes at you, then it's like, then it's there. When the cocaine comes at you, that's when you take it.

If you get it offered more than 3 times in one night, you take the third time.

Hey, what'd you do with the Holocaust song? Did you ever do anything with it?

Oh, you wrote a Holocaust song. Yeah, when was that? Was that already released?

Yeah, it's coming out.

No, he sold it to Kanye.

I made that in like one night, and I guess I pulled an all-nighter because I had to make something for school the next day. I made it in one night, and then like—

okay, why it's Jewish. Yeah, and he made a Holocaust record. Why it's Jewish, for the record. And it was like— I don't even know how to say this— it was a positive Holocaust song, like a remembrance.

It was nothing. It was like a school project in 7th grade, and we had to make— we were like reading different books about the Holocaust. And so I. To, like, learn about it. And there was. There was like an Elie Wiesel book, like the Night.

What's like a lyric from it? Just so I could wrap my head around.

It's like, you were like a slave.

No, no, but I made it.

I remember this.

And we played it on the pod and then Phineas heard it. And that was cool. And that was cool because I really. That was such a huge moment when that happened. I was like. And I think for you too.

Well, yeah, because I was so embarrassed because I, like, made it in one night and I was like, oh, no, it could be so much better and stuff. And then he was like, oh, finished This one was great. I was like, that's really cool.

Oh, that's sick.

Yeah, because I was just so into like his production at the time and just like, yeah, no, he's the best. He does.

He's so cool. We mentioned Phineas.

I know.

Thanks for listening, Phineas. That's all the time we have for today's episode. Um, Wyatt, thank you for joining us. Go check out Nudies and Great Big Cow. Nudies.

Yeah, Nudie, one word.

One word.

Yeah.

And then the Troubadour July 14th on Instagram, Nudie.

Uh, yeah, and Great Big Cow.

Well, yeah, guys, if you're in the LA area— I mean, is it already sold out?

Yeah, I think it's like, if you're in LA, come see Great Big Cow. If you're in New York, come see Nudie. And if you're anywhere, just plug the July 14th show.

That's the— oh yeah, you need to sell out.

So July 14th, come to the Troubadour.

July 14th, it's gonna be great.

Yeah, yeah.

Damn. Oh yeah, sex, drugs, well, just rock and roll. Okay, thank you guys. Bye, Wyatt. Bye, Jay.

Bye.

Bye, Nat. Good job, everybody.

Good job, Jason.

See you in a week.

No, say, you know what I love when you say?

What?

Last time you go, see you guys on Thursday.

Oh, okay, we'll see you guys in 2 days. We gotta come up with a better schedule.

I don't believe in heaven.

What?