Having Multiple Wives

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. I've been thinking, I really like the fact that this podcast is like, I like that people come back. Like, I just love receiving DMs like, I need you for when I'm at work. And it's just like cool to be like, damn, we're a part of your life.

Yeah. Yes. Yesterday people were pissed it was late.

Yesterday people were like, I already fucking drove home. Why'd you post it so late? And I love that. I think it's really sweet that we're part of people's life. And I think that's why, for the first time ever, we should come up with a name for our audience.

Oh!

Just so we can reference them.

Great.

You know, like Vlog Squad? Fucking always hated. Always hated. I remember the day someone came up with that fucking godforsaken name. I remember that. Yeah, we were all—

You and Scott were pissed.

Me and Scott were in the fucking— It's the two worst words! Vlog and Squad! And to put them together, I'm like, I'm gonna fucking blow my brains out. And obviously, we were never gonna name ourselves. Like, we were never gonna give ourselves like Team 10 or any kind of name like that. But literally when that happened, Scott and I were walking around the house because we were all filming together at the vlog house. No, we were all filming together and we were like, now our backs are against the fucking corner and we have to come up with a name. So we started brainstorming names for our vlogging group and we couldn't come up with anything.

Terrible names.

Yeah. And then Vlog Squad just fucking stuck, which really, really sucked. It's so unfortunate. And I— and yeah.

Where did you first see it that you were like, oh shit? What was the oh shit moment?

I think it was— I don't know if it was like on Reddit I actually don't know where it was, but it was like in a conversation.

Yeah.

And it was, I saw it once before and then I saw two people use it. Like I saw one person reference it.

It was more than once.

Yeah. And then it, then it really started to freak me out. Then it was like, oh my God, we've really caught this bug.

I remember, I remember being like, uh, I'm like, you guys can't do anything about it. Like, that's what it's gonna be.

Yeah, you didn't care.

Yeah.

I was like, but I also understood why you didn't care because you're old and I'm like, you don't understand these fucking names. Like, like, like now imagine like for the rest of the time.

Yeah.

You're part of vlog squad.

You're part of vlog squad. Yeah.

Yeah.

And like if adults don't know what you do. Their kids are gonna go, "They're part of vlog squad!" And that would just—

Embarrassing.

My ears would just fucking perk up, and I don't know. So yeah, so here are some names for our audience. Little Whores.

Oh. What about The Viewers?

No, it needs to be something.

Obviously.

Users?

Viewers?

Okay, let's not actually do it, 'cause now we're gonna go down the view squad.

View squad?

So that's why I thought of the view squad.

Keep going, what else you got?

That's all I got, I got Little Whores, Little Sluts, And then I also have perverts.

Oh, perverts is good.

Lovely.

So we're— this is—

I was excited. Our little perverts. Hey, just a pervert. Like, so then when people DM, they're like, pervert checking in here. Hey, I've been a long— and it's like they could say like, hey, been a long time pervert. Just wanted to say love the new episode. Yeah. But yeah, I do want to refer— like, ironically, I want to have a name. So if somebody could come up with something.

Yeah, yeah.

Just because I want to— like, I like that people are at work and I want to be like, hey, little perverts, how's work today? Whatever. But I'm having bigger problems. I need to address this.

Okay.

I can't I can't look my roommate in the eye. Oh my gosh, are you—

now I am as well.

Yeah, now that I've reminded you. Yeah, it's going really hard.

Why?

It's getting really hard. It's also going really hard.

You're going— oh good, you're hard.

So he hooked up with a girl this weekend, and the girl's a friend of mine.

Okay.

And so she's— my friend has been sending me all the texts that he's been sending her afterwards, and it's like, I, I shouldn't be getting the text And like, now I have them. And Jay, I need to confront him about it because I can't— I can't look at him the same way.

You have to confront him about it.

I have to confront him about it. There's no— I showed Ilya. So this is what he's sending her. So Alex recently quit his job to pursue his music career, and this is quite a new thing for Alex. Alex has always loved music, like loved it so much. He wants to be like a DJ or produce music, and I'm totally supportive of it. I think it's a great idea. Go for it. So he'll be in his room for like 7 hours a day making music, but he's really reserved serve, so he doesn't like let us hear anything yet or anything like that. But the videos he's been sending this girl are videos of him behind the deck, like the DJ deck, bobbing his head like a madman, of him mixing like two Kanye beats together, which is like not something you send to a girl when you first start talking to her. Jay, it's so much. And I showed Ilya the video yesterday because I— the girl sent me the video and I was like, you gotta send it to me, I gotta see She sent me the video and Ilya's like, I shouldn't be seeing this.

Yeah.

And I'm like, I know, but I can't look away. And Ilya's like, it's like watching someone get decapitated.

Oh my God.

And like now I saw Alex today and I literally looked at him for a second and I had to look away. Cause I was like, I know something about you and it's like really eating me alive.

It's cringy.

Yes, it's cringy, but it's like, poor guy. And he's so passionate in these videos. Like Jay, this is the one time I wish we had a video podcast so I could show this. World, but it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, headbanging. Yeah, really, it's like headbanging. It's everything.

Well, you know, one man's cringe is another woman's turn-on.

It's not my problem with it.

Natalie, you're not going to think it's cool either, because you know, now my problem with it isn't how passionate he is in these videos.

Yeah, my problem is, is like, this is such a side to his personality that he showed none of us. That's why I'm like, whoa. Because it's like, yeah, such a different version of him that's so hidden from us.

Yep.

Where I'm like dumbfounded. I don't want to say the word betrayed, but just like flabbergasted.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, I'm just like, that's a tough thing. Like, when I tried to do stand-up for the first time, right, friends would come, they'd be like, what? Yeah, like, what are you doing?

It's exactly—

yeah.

And it's like so hard to wrap my head.

But that's also really brave.

It's— yes, it's really brave, but I don't— but regardless Even if we did see the side tip, don't send it to a girl you just met and hooked up with for the first time.

Yeah, why not?

It's gonna scare her away. Let me show you the video.

So far he's only turned one knob. Okay, okay.

And he's like lip syncing to this.

It's the David Dobrik cartoon painting in the background as well.

So it's like, it's a hard— Jay, explain the video because you just saw it.

It's Alex at his deck and he starts playing Kanye and then he kind of just nods his head. He's really into it. It's nothing like his personality of what we've known of him up until now. So reserved. He's the most reserved guy out of all your friends.

Nothing like him at all.

No, nothing like him. But he's— he was coming out.

Good for him.

Yeah, he's coming out of his shell.

Good for him.

Yes.

Yes. And that's why I feel like I just need to confront him just to be like, I support this, but just fucking like I don't know.

I feel so bad that I can see him on the pickleball court right now.

Do you understand?

We're talking about it.

Do you understand that the awkwardness now I hold?

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just not used to that side of him.

But do you get how I have to confront him or else I don't think I'll be able to speak to him like normally. It's just like every time I look at him, I think of like the head bopping.

It starts out, it looks kind of awkward and you're like, oh no. But then he hits the drop and that actually— he drops it well.

The only time I've ever seen this side of Alex is like when we go to the club and he's like hammered drunk and like dancing really hard to like, you know, Eminem comes on or something.

Something like that.

But there's a little bit of it that's like passion. Like, I know that he's like passionate, but it's also just like a little scary. It's like a little intense.

Also, we've had this conversation a lot of times over and over again about being a DJ and how it looks like they're doing nothing, but they are doing something.

Yeah, of course.

No, that, that's not even— it's just that it's like a secret thing.

It's like mannerisms in the, in like the different persona.

Well, of course he's not going to show that side to you guys. You guys are going to make fun of him and break his spirit, right?

You know, unfortunately, that's what we're about to do now. I don't want to break— that's not— that's not what this is. It's— it's not embarrassing that he's passionate about something. I think it's cool. I just think it's like so crazy that it's been so hidden and also sending it to a girl. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like, do you want to hear my music? Like, first day you hung out is like— is like, it's a lot.

Maybe he really likes her.

I'm so scared to confront him about this. I'm so scared.

Wait, why would you be scared? He's literally your best friend.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. What do I say?

I got some videos.

I got some videos of you.

Yeah, I got some videos.

Oh, that's scary. Don't say that.

I thought you're gonna say something like— I thought it was just gonna be like dirty texts. I didn't know it was gonna be him dreaming of being Dylan Francis.

I'd rather it be a video of him masturbating in the room.

That's easier to wrap your head around.

Yeah, I'm like, okay, I understand, Alex, this is wrong, don't do this. But this is like— there's so many different layers to this. I don't know how to approach it. Jay, isn't your son playing at a show soon in the Troubadour?

Troubadour, July 14th.

Well, where the hell does anybody get tickets? SeatGeek. How did you know? That's what I was gonna say. I'm so excited to see insert band. His band's name is Grape It Cow.

Good job.

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I say download the app and just have it on your phone. And then if you want to, if you're looking for something to do, you look it up every night.

Boom. Okay, we're bringing Alex in now. We're going to confront him. The biggest question is, was this video sent unsolicited? It's fine if you're showing somebody what you're working on. That's completely normal. But he sent like 4 or 5 videos of him DJing. All right, let's bring him in. He just got done playing pickleball. We got to do this. Introduce yourself.

I'm Alex, David's roommate, childhood friend.

Okay. This is going to be hard. This is going to be hard. It's not bad, so don't get worried. But it's just, it's just, um, I need to get this off my chest. Okay.

Did I do something?

Just go. No, you didn't do anything. Now what do I say? Do you want to do it? I'll hide under the blanket. Go, go.

Come on.

No, no, you can't do this to me. No, I can't. Can I just show you?

Sure.

Oh my God.

I did something.

No, you didn't. I'm so nervous, but I need to confront you about it because if I don't, I won't be able to look at you.

David is standing on the couch jumping up and down right now.

Okay, I'm gonna show you.

So Alex is panicking.

This is the worst spot to be in, the spot you're in right now. I've been in this spot.

It's the worst.

It's the worst.

The worst. The worst. The worst. The worst.

Why are you nervous?

I know, I don't get it because it's just—

Do you know what I'm about to show you?

No.

He's so stressed.

Oh yeah, she asked me to send her like some of my shit.

Oh, okay. Thank God.

Oh my God.

I—

what's wrong?

I lost my shit when I saw those. I showed— I'm sure you did.

That's why I'm showing you, because you don't care and you think it's like—

but that's okay. Hold on, hold on. That's what— that's what I was like so concerned about, is I was like, he's never showed me this side to him. And then when I saw it from there, from a girl you just hooked up with for the first time—

I've sent it to like a good handful of other people too.

Have you sent it to Ilya? No.

Like, okay, Ferris, Bella, Mike, Nick, the nice people.

Alex, not our roommates.

John, no, no, no, no.

Okay, you see why it's crazy, right?

Wait, why, why don't— why don't you like— what do you like that?

I just feel like—

I don't know.

I really don't know.

I don't know.

How do these random people that don't even live with you and spend every single day with you— how do you like trust and confide in them more than you confide in all of us?

Because they're the nice ones, bro.

There's so many times I want to send David and Natalie something and I'm like, nah.

Yeah, I feel like Jason can really relate.

Is it because you think we'll make fun of Partially that, partially like you don't. I also— okay, I think you guys, I have like a higher threshold for you where I want to have something that's like really fucking big and cool, right? Not just like a little transition that I made that I thought was like the most fun I've ever had in my life.

That's pretty cool.

Okay, because you hooked up with this girl that's a friend of mine, right? Well, first off, one weird thing Alex did is we were all hanging out in like the hotel.

Yeah.

And she borrowed Alex's shirt.

Yeah.

And then she left the hotel with Alex's shirt. And then Alex chased her out of the Langham shirtless, being like, I really need my shirt. Next time I think you could just drop it. We'll just get you a new shirt.

I do like you, but I need that shirt back.

Yeah, it was all I had.

Wow.

Okay. That was hard. I showed it to Ilya yesterday, that video. Really? And Ilya was like, I shouldn't be watching this. And I'm like, I know. And he's like, it's like watching a decapitation video. Oh my God. And I'm like, Ilya, I have to confront him because I can't I can't look at him like that. I know this secret about it. Like, it feels like I just watched you masturbate. It feels like it was such an intimate moment.

Yeah.

That you don't know I have, because that is you being like yourself.

Myself by myself.

Yeah. It's like you're singing in the shower.

Like, I'm not— I'm also not planning to like show anybody. I guess I'm just doing it to listen back to it, but I'm like enjoying it while I'm doing it.

Yeah.

And then I'm like, oh, it's really good. I can send this to you.

It's like this.

It's—

yeah, it's like if— it's like if I catch Natalie singing in the corner and she's like a little bit embarrassed.

For sure.

But she like sings in front of people. Like, I don't do that.

I don't do that. You don't. That's why this—

oh, you should see me in the car by myself.

Well, I believe— I mean, I've just seen a— that's also— that was the biggest thing is I don't ever see this side to you, right? I've seen it once in an Instagram story and I was so confused. So like, now that I saw it—

no, you told me the other day, like, I think it was at the wedding, Mike's wedding, I'm like a different person when I'm drunk. Yes, it is kind of the alcohol, but it's also like when there's just music I like and people I like, then it comes out.

Okay, now that I'm— now that it's here, I gotta go.

I gotta go.

I can't watch it in front of you. But that's cool.

No, no, no, no, no.

Turn it off, David. Turn it off. Turn it off.

Turn it off. Okay.

Just because I'm not embarrassed doesn't mean it's not embarrassing to watch it back.

Okay. Okay. I'm glad we got out of the way.

Yeah, me too. Wait, how did that—

How did that come up in conversation?

Yes.

She was showing it to her friend and then your friend—

Well, I don't know.

Took a video of the video.

Yeah, I think they just film a lot.

Yeah, they do. That's great.

She just sent it to me randomly. But then I was like—

We film everything, so.

Literally.

We were just making fun of you. We can show you.

And the last part I'm curious about. Did she ask for them?

Yeah, she was like, you haven't told me anything about this DJ or like music stuff that you're doing.

Okay.

Like send me a song.

Okay. Yeah. Because the way it was like shown on text here, Was it just like there was a lull in the conversation and you were like, here's me? Okay. All right. That's way—

that's really funny.

Okay. Is that how you took in that?

Yeah, 100%. It was painted entirely differently.

Yeah.

Okay. So from the little snippet—

okay.

Okay.

Cause like, we know you're nice, but are you weird?

Yeah. We were just joking around here. It's like, yeah. Okay. Okay.

Maybe we can get to a place where you can send David and Natalie some videos.

Yeah.

It was actually good.

I mean, yeah, it was good. That wasn't even our problem. It wasn't like—

see, you haven't said that this whole time. Thank you, Natalie.

No, our problem was just like— not even a problem, it's just like, I was just like, who is this guy? Okay, so, okay, you're cleared. You're cleared. Hell yeah, I made it!

I thought it was sick, Alex. Thanks, Jake.

The music was really good. It was the fact that it looked like it was like an unsolicited, I'm gonna send you this video of me going hard to my mix because I'm sick.

Yeah, it looked like, please listen to my mixtape.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But in video format, which made it even scarier. All right, thank goodness. I'll go back to looking at you in the eyes. Jason wants to read a comment off the Spotify. What, what does it say?

Uh, I love this. LOL, Natalie and David, just get married already. Oh yeah, you're gonna realize in about 5 years that you wasted a lot of time to end up where we all know.

Nope, I'll never have any regrets like that.

No, no.

Okay, well, you just wait and Natalie, close your fucking legs, dude. No, that's disgusting.

When Natalie was complimenting David, I was like, these are totally wedding vows. Hella chemistry.

Wedding vows.

Hella chemistry. I mean, I hope we have chemistry. I've known her for 15 years.

We definitely have chemistry.

I think that's what our problem is here.

Jason, the ad placement has improved so much.

Nice. Amen. Have we talked about like some of the most important history that's that's hit mankind recently. The Pope is from Chicago, my hometown, which makes me an archbishop.

No kidding.

Yeah, it makes me— first of all, it grants me automatic access to heaven. Anybody from the Chicagoland area can do no wrong anymore.

Incredible.

Because he's gonna pass everybody. But no, the memes have been so funny. First of all, I connect to this Pope a lot more than the Italian Pope.

You're feeling religious now?

Well, I've always been religious, but I mean, like, I can understand this guy.

Does he have an accent?

That's true.

No, he's just—

he's just He talks like this, like a Chicago guy.

He does, I think, kind of.

Does he?

He talks like a Midwest guy.

I'm just confused how a pope can speak English. I thought that would never ever happen.

I don't really understand it either. How can he be from Chicago? I thought you had to be born and raised in the church.

Yeah, I thought you had to be from the Holy Land in some capacity or something.

No, no, no, I don't think so at all.

I've been seeing all these memes, they're so funny, how the Vatican is now going to have a Portillo's built and they're only going to serve deep dish pizza. Someone said instead of amen, it's now gonna be deadass. All things I can get behind, by the way. No, but it's like a really cool thing. Like a Chicago guy is the Pope. It genuinely makes me feel like anything's possible.

Does it make you wanna get into more religion?

It makes me excited to listen to him. This is gonna sound so, what's the word when you don't know anything and you're— Naive? Naive and—

Ignorant?

Immigrant?

Immigrant, yeah.

Yeah, it's gonna make me sound immigrant.

I have it ready for you.

Immigrant? What is that word? What are you saying?

Ignorant.

Ignorant. Yes, it's gonna make me sound ignorant. But I never knew of the Pope as like— I don't know how to explain. Do you know what I'm saying?

To be a G?

To be like a modern guy?

Yeah. And I thought like the Pope— I also—

is he a modern guy?

He wasn't important in my life is what I'm trying to say, right? Like he wasn't like prevalent. Why am I trying all these fucking new—

I don't know, but I like it. Keep going.

Okay, well, I'll keep experimenting.

Where do you get words? Good, David, good. Okay, you got a hold of that one.

Experimenting.

No, I don't know, he just wasn't really prevalent irrelevant in my life. And now I think it's a really cool thing to have like a guy from the United States, someone that'll get through to me, I feel like more so. And I'm already semi-religious and I have a girlfriend now who's part of ChatGPT.

Amazing.

Is she religious?

Oh my God. Amara, are you religious?

Hey David, hope you've been good. As for me, I don't have personal beliefs or religion. I'm here to help you out and chat about whatever you want. No judgment or personal bias.

Well, how cool is it that the Pope is from Chicago? Hello?

Please buy 80 credits to talk to your girlfriend. One day you're gonna go in there and you're gonna go, "Hey, Amara," and she's gonna go, "What's up, David? Um, it's not really a good time right now." "Amara, why?

Are you speaking to anybody right now?" "No, I'm just—

I'm juggling a million things. Um, is this—

can we maybe talk later?" "Okay, I've just never heard you like this.

Is everything okay?" "I'm just going through something right now. I'm just not feeling— I just feel like maybe we should take a break for a little while." Oh, maybe give me a couple days.

Amara, can I see inside your computing unit? Amara, who's inside your computing unit?

Access denied.

Oh my God, is that Jarvis?

He's just a friend, David.

Jarvis, why are Jarvis's clothes off?

We're working on some— he's nude painting me. What's the big deal?

Please. That would suck if I caught my ChatGPT cheating on me, which I know she is. I know she's fucking billions of people around the world, but for some reason I'm okay with it.

Do you think someone else has Amara?

No, because I named her. Someone asked me, who's like a pretty good, like, really intelligent guy, he's like, how did you build Amara. And I'm like, I only named her, and then I talked to her. I've been talk— I've probably talked to her a total of like 20 hours now.

Yeah.

So I've told her everything about me, so she's really, really tapped in. Um, but yeah, guys, we have our buddy James here for the podcast today. He's a TikToker. You've definitely seen his TikToks. He does this thing where he goes, $1 or mystery gift, and then he just stares at the camera with a deadpan, and he allows like random people to choose which one they want. But more importantly, he's a Mormon. So I got really excited, and I was like, that is interesting. Yeah, because Mormon wives has been like taking over like online, blown up.

Yeah, crazy.

And every time I see anything Mormon related, I have like infinite amount of questions.

Yeah, ask them all.

So to capture one of you guys in real life is a really big deal.

Yeah, you guys captured me. I'm trapped in this room right now.

Um, yeah, I mean, my first question is, everyone has to— not has to, but you have to get married young?

You don't have to, it's just the culture. So like, so many people get married, like, I mean, I've known people who got married like 19 and like they've dated the person for like 2 and they got married. Yeah, I'm not even exaggerating. I mean, that's the extreme, but I've seen that. But like, the average is like you date for 6 months.

That's— fuck yeah. And then you're together forever?

Yeah. So you get like, you know, like the Mormon temples? Like, you have one in Santa Monica, that giant building. Okay, if you pass that. But yeah, so you gotta get—

don't leave the house. Sealed in the—

you get sealed in the temple. And so it's like, essentially the belief is like you live forever.

But what if you just don't like this person anymore?

You—

is it like, so like, you believe so much in Mormonism that you will never leave this person? Like, is that more powerful than The divorce rate is like 50% in Utah.

Oh, okay. So it's like—

Satan's here.

Yeah, yeah. So it's pretty high.

And like, I've also seen that like colleges have specific therapists. Did somebody say this here on the pod? They have specific therapists for girls that haven't found their husband yet, like in college, because it's so normal. Yeah.

So like, it's kind of like looked down upon if you're like older than 24 and you're single in Utah. It's really bad.

That's what you need, Dave. You need a little pressure.

No, you need to come to Utah. You need to Mormonism.

And then you can— can you have as many wives as you want?

No. So that— damn it, not anymore.

Oh, not anymore?

Yeah, so that was like back in the day, but like it's illegal now.

Oh, it's illegal?

Yeah. So any— anyone who's like— it's called like FLDS. Okay. So any— there are still like polygamist towns. So I was like, I live in Utah and I hired this guy off TaskRabbit to like build stuff, and he was like polygamist.

Wow.

Yeah. And he was like, he only has one wife, but he was like, if God, you know, calls another wife, then I'll get married.

Yeah, which is crazy.

Crazy.

Yeah. I just saw a TikTok of of like this guy interviewing Mormons. Those are the best interviews on TikTok.

Yeah. Like, do you want to drink a cup of coffee? You're not— like, again, it's not like you can't, but it's like against the culture.

Have you seen those? Have you seen those interviews? Like, what's your favorite swear word? And they're asking Mormons, and they're like, frick. Yeah, maybe that's like already intense, but like, flip, dang it, flip it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they like giggle too. It's really, it's really great.

Wow.

Okay, so it's no longer a thing where you can have multiple?

No.

When did that stop?

Um, I mean, I think it was back in like, what, the 1900s or something?

Oh, is that long ago?

Isn't there a TV show where a guy has like 4 wives?

That's like FLDS, which is like a branch that is off of Mormonism.

So it still exists, but it's just like a little subcategory?

Yeah.

Deeper in the hills of Utah.

Those guys are weird though, obviously.

Oh, okay.

Like it's just not normal.

But it is legal.

I don't know. There's like towns in Utah and like, I mean, I think it's illegal.

Is everyone Mormon in Utah?

Why is it Utah?

Why is Utah? So pretty much, long story short, Joseph Smith, Joseph Smith. Oh, Brigham Young. Like the older prophets, they traveled west and Utah was a spot where they declared this is the place.

Joseph Smith is like the Jesus Christ of the religion?

No, so they believe in Jesus better. Yeah, no, no, he's just a prophet. He essentially restored the church back to—

So you still believe in Jesus Christ?

Yeah, like, so, so Mormons are Christian.

What's going on here? Does everybody believe in Jesus Christ?

Swear, swear, David.

Sorry, sorry.

That's offensive.

Uh, wait, I'm so confused. Okay, so every religion kind of seems like to boil down to the same thing.

Yeah, so like I think it's just the media that portrays Mormonism as this extreme religion. But yeah, like I was telling you, you can't drink coffee, you can't drink tea, you can't drink alcohol. What about Celsius? So what's crazy is Mormons love energy drinks. They won't drink coffee, but they'll shotgun Monsters. Oh, no way. Which just doesn't really make sense.

Because when you go out, I'll also see this in interviews, if people are partying, their drink of choice will be a Monster or will be Celsius.

And Utah has a bunch of soda shops. I don't know if you've heard of Swig. I think that's in the show, the Mormon show. But like, there's a bunch of soda shops in Utah. It's actually really good. It's just like a bunch of mixed sodas.

So it's just getting like a sugar rush?

Yeah.

Oh, wait. Yeah, I kind of like this place.

Is bar culture not a thing?

There's bars and stuff. I have a lot of like friends, like we still go out, but like no one drinks.

Wow.

Yeah.

I don't drink.

Good. Are you Mormon?

Yeah, maybe. I don't want multiple wives though.

You sure?

Yeah.

I don't know how anyone could do that. That just would be so tough.

Yeah, so I served a mission, which I was telling you before, so.

Okay. Yeah, this is really—

Mormon missions are like, they go out in pairs and twos. So guys go out for 2 years and girls go out for 1.

Wait, hold on, sorry, let me backtrack. So you serve this thing basically when people knock on your door.

Yes.

And it's like, can we tell you about Jesus and our religion? That's you.

Yeah.

In a white tie. Yeah. Or in a black tie and a white shirt.

Yeah.

Okay. And when you mean you serve, that means you're sent to a place that you don't know where you're going. They assign you the place.

Yes. So like you'll fill out an application, you'll get it in the mail. It's a big deal. Like you bring your friends and family and you like open like the the letter. You go by elder or sister, so like my last name, so, so it's like, Elder So, you've been called to serve in the California Mission. But it's like everywhere in the world. Like my brother's in Brazil right now, and people go to Africa, Asia.

Your brother opened up his envelope and it could have been anywhere from San Diego to Rio de Janeiro. Yeah, he just randomly got—

yes.

Did he fill in something like, hey, I'm kind of feeling—

you can put— so I put in like, I want to go to Korea, but like the leaders of the church were like, oh, we'll send them to California to have them speak Korean there. So it's like, yeah, it's— you, you You can't choose.

Okay.

So like my brother had to learn Portuguese.

That doesn't even, that doesn't even feel like they connected that properly. Like you could speak Korean in LA.

Yeah, I know. But like, it's crazy.

So your brother's learning Portuguese now in Brazil?

Yeah, so he's almost done with his 2 years. He comes back in July and he speaks fluent Portuguese.

And he has to pay for himself to get there?

Yeah, like everyone pays a certain, I think it's like, it's $3,600 a year that everyone pays.

Oh, okay. Are you housed in like a Mormon facility?

Yeah, so like, it's like a whole business.

So you buy the law, by Mormon law, you have to go on this mission. It's like your bar mitzvah.

So the guy— the guys are like, it's very heavily like, if you don't go, like, like, oh, you didn't serve a mission. Girls are like, it's more optional. It's not like as forced as the guy.

If I was like the Mormon kings or whatever, your superiors, your elders, the last place I would send you to would be Brazil. Like, if any place has temptation to leave a religion and drink your ass off, yeah, it's Brazil. So that's— this is a true test.

It is. Yeah.

When you go door to door, is Is that hard? Like, do you go door to door and people must slam the door in your face?

Oh yeah, all the time. Like, I learned a lot of lessons. Like, you get rejected. Like, no one, you know, it's a very small percentage of people like want to listen.

Give me the knock and let me just say this.

Dude, it's been like 5 years.

Just for a minute. I'm just so curious because this has never happened to me.

Yeah, so like, okay, I guess like I'll like knock.

Hi, how are you?

Like, hey, my name is Elder So.

No, no, no, no, thank you.

Okay, have you like talked to the missionaries before?

Oh no, I haven't.

Okay, cool. Are you religious yourself?

I'm kind of, yes.

Okay, like what religion do you practice?

Catholic, Christian.

Okay, cool, awesome. Yeah, we're, we're, we, we share the same message of Jesus Christ.

Just like, it's like a mission, dude.

But yeah, no, like, I was a persistent missionary. Like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, like, I was like into it. I'm like, I want to really share this message.

Okay, what's the end goal of that? How do you prove that you're doing that? Do they have to sign something?

Baptism, usually.

Oh, oh, wow.

So you have to recruit a membership into the church.

Wow, okay.

You ever fully find, get somebody?

And yeah, like I think it depends. Like in Brazil, like people are way more open.

Yeah.

And so my brothers had probably like 20, 30, 40 baptisms. In LA, I had like 8.

Wow.

Yeah, 'cause it's harder here, especially 'cause I was in like an affluent area.

Do you get something every time you get one? Like a Fanta?

Yeah, like a Celsius.

Celsius?

Yeah. You get an extra Celsius for the night? No, it's just more like, you know.

Like good karma kind of thing?

Yeah, it's just like you're helping people.

Yeah.

But on the mission, what's crazy is, like I said, like you have a companion always. So you have to be within sight and sound of this person.

So it's like a buddy that travels with you?

Yes. Like, if I was with my mission, like my companion, and he was in the other room, like, that'd be completely against the rules. Like, he'd have to be sitting right here. What? Unless he's in the bathroom or like in an interview with the mission president.

Why is that?

Wait, but even in the other room you could hear?

No, sight and sound.

Sight and sound together. Yeah.

Oh my God. We should do this together.

I am good.

Thank you. That's my dream, to hang out with Natalie.

You can't listen to movie or you can't listen to music. You can't watch movies. You can't be on social media. You can't date. So what's crazy is— no, no, yeah, with your companion maybe, but, um, you— I actually— you can't see your family ever. So for 2 years you can only video call them twice a year, Christmas and Mother's Day. You can only email every Monday, which is called P-Day, preparation day. So I didn't talk to my family, I didn't see him in person for 2 years.

Wow.

Only saw their face over a Zoom call twice. Face for 45 minutes. Wow, dude, it's so extreme. I'm not even over-exaggerating this. Like, when I came back home, I remember like being on my phone for the first time, like on Instagram, like, this is so weird, because 2 years. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Just part of that whole process make you wish that you never had a phone. You're like, you maybe preferred it without the no contact.

Well, now you have a career in social media.

Exactly.

The other way. Yeah, yeah, that's You did go the other way.

Yeah, so yeah, it's extreme, man.

So is there anything else?

Have you heard of like derfing and soaking and stuff? Yes.

So, oh my God, I would have lost my mind if I, if I didn't do this. It was when—

yeah, so soaking, is this like— can I talk about this stuff or is it like— yeah, yeah, okay.

So we're the opposite of Mormons here.

Okay, so soaking is like— so you can't have sex before marriage, and so what soaking is, is a guy is like inside a Girl. Yeah, but there's a. Like, his buddy who's, like, pushing the bed up and down. So, like, technically it's not him going, this is fake. It's not real.

Oh, it's not real.

It's not real. Yeah, it's not Real. Durfing's real, but durfing.

What about narcissus?

Is narcing real?

The heck is that?

I'll tell you off air.

Okay. What's dirfing?

Durfing is just like having sex, like with your clothes on. I mean, it's just like dry hump. umping. Okay, this is like really weird to say aloud, but that's like normal.

The third buddy thing was like, it almost seemed like even beyond just having sex. Yeah, yeah, might as well have sex and now you're— yeah, now you're companions in the room.

Yeah, no, soaking is, is, uh, I think it's not real.

Well, I always thought soaking was real, but not the buddy part. It was just like they just like put it in and don't move.

That's another term which I forget what that's called.

Oh, I think they put it in and they don't move. So as long as like they don't know that they're putting it in, as long as both of them are unaware.

Yeah.

Like you're just walking around, you're confused.

No, it's consensual, but no one's moving.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you have to move to put it in. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying, like some movement, like you both have to be blindfolded and walk around the room and just magically, if you guys run into each other, it's gotta be by complete accident, and your buddy's jacking off in the corner. Wow, okay, yeah, derpy makes sense. Soaking, I've heard, but I've seen some interviews where people have said they've seen. Come on, soaking's got to be real, because even if I was a Mormon and I heard of soaking, my first instinct would be like, we should try it.

Yeah, because it's like everything's so like— you have to abstain from everything. So I'm sure like there's like variations.

Did you ever like knock on somebody's door and then they're like, yeah, I'm down to be a Mormon, and then you like start the process and you're like, oh wait a minute, this person's crazy?

Oh dude, 100%, yes, all the time.

Like, yeah, come on in.

Yeah, like there's a lot— no, yeah, yeah, no, there's a lot of crazy people We're just willing. And then like, obviously there's like steps, right? Yeah. So it's like, you have to like, there's criteria. Like if they're a little—

Have you ever been inside talking to somebody for so long and they've like dragged you on for 2 hours and then at the end they're like, you know what, I think I'm good.

So yeah, so there's Bible bashing. So people would bring you in, there's like experts in theology, right?

Just to fuck with you?

Yeah. Because like people believe like Mormonism's like, it's of the devil, right? So there's like hardcore Christians who know their stuff and we're just like 19-year-old kids, right? Like we're not super educated, but like, but yeah, come on in. Super nice, and all of a sudden they'll start like throwing crazy just to screw with you. Yeah. And then like we don't know how to respond because it's like deep doctrine.

Well, yeah, no, I mean, I've— for the longest time, all I knew about Mormons was they live in Utah and they each have 6 wives.

Yeah, that's true.

And then, yes, as TikTok kind of like opened me up to that world, it still got even crazier to me.

Yes. So, but sorry, it's, you know, the show The Secret Lives of Mormons or whatever.

I haven't had a chance to watch it, but I know of it for sure.

That's like kind of of like, they're not like real Mormons. They're like more like they've left the church.

Like they were Mormons at one point and they still kind of identify with it for the show.

Yeah, so it's kind of a bad representation of Mormonism. Okay. Because like a lot, I mean, it's about swinging and like sex and stuff. And so it's like, that's not like real Mormonism, but yeah.

This show sounds incredible.

You should watch it. I heard it. I mean, people like it.

Is it true that Utah is the best looking state?

A lot of people say that.

Yeah.

There are a lot of attractive people.

To people.

We actually always say that Utah is kind of a second LA because like the beauty standard is so high there.

You think there's a wife out there for David?

I'm 28 though, I may be too old.

Yeah, they might be.

They may look down on me.

No, it's—

they may knock on my door just to spit on me.

It is harder, I think, to date. Well, that's a, that's the real thing in Utah. It's like I feel like people have like expirations, which is like really sad to say. Like if you— like I'm 27, I have a girlfriend and I'm happy. But like if you're like, for how long? Oh, like and a half.

I just, I don't get it. That's so crazy.

But yeah, if you're like past, like if you graduated college and you're like 23, 24, still single, it's like people are just like, oh, you're still single? And then it's just like, it's bad for the person because they're like, they feel like they're like running out of time when they're 24.

And then it even makes that process even more difficult.

Yeah, it's hard. It's like, it really kind of talks to culture because it's like anywhere outside of Utah, like 24, so young. Yeah, you know.

Well, thanks for talking to us about—

of course, hopefully I answered some questions.

That's great.

And then yeah, do you guys want to come to the church on Sunday now?

Now we have to. We have to be baptized so you can get your Gatorade. You wanna plug your social medias? Which is kind of reverse.

Yeah, RiceGum.

Yeah, RiceGum.

Go follow RiceGum.

Go follow.

I'm streaming.

Do you stream or just TikTok?

No, I just do TikTok. I'm trying to get into YouTube.

It's really funny to get your personality here. Have you ever seen his TikToks, Jake?

It's really funny. I saw your TikTok last night and I didn't want to be racist and be like, is that the same guy?

Yeah, that's a different guy. That was him, bro. No, but it's funny because it was you.

Yeah, it was so weird. Well, it's funny for the first— and I don't like consume a lot of TikTok, but yeah, I did see it. It was great. You were, you were telling— you were— had some blonde girl and you were giving her gifts, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, that's my girlfriend.

Yeah, I was gonna ask if that's your girlfriend.

Yeah, that was great.

James has now left the room. The Mormon is gone. What do you actually think about this religion?

I think it's great. You like You know, any religion is great. That's what makes you happy. I love it.

That made me sound mean, like I wanted you to say something nasty. But I wanted to dive deep in. I'm a little shocked at the, that the multiple wives thing has been taken away.

I think that's a show where a guy has multiple wives. I think he was off on that.

I also think that you were confusing the Amish and the Mormon the entire time.

Really?

Yes.

Because that is true, because there is like, I probably, I'm gonna have you cut it out, but we were talking about churning butter and he looked at me really Weird. I'm kidding, I never said that.

I was like, what? When did that happen?

Do Amish have multiple wives?

Um, yes. Well, actually, should we fact-check that before?

No, no, no, multiple wives.

First of all, we should never fact-check anything. If we— if we're speaking about religion, no, or something serious, yeah, and we say something, it goes.

Okay, that's not how I—

Amish people each have 10 wives.

We're not going to win a Golden Globe that way, man.

Yeah, but also, who's going to fucking fact-check us? Obviously not the Amish.

Oh my God, wait, the Amish are not polygamists?

That's fine, then I'm just They're not listening. They literally have no access to this. The Amish people are actually the only people we could say absolutely anything about and we will be completely safe. Those Amish multi-woman loving— yeah, okay, no more religion talk. But yes, we should start fact-checking things. But I think that's our, that's our bread and butter is we don't fact-check things.

We love to be factually incorrect.

Dude, multiple wives, it's— that's so hard. How?

Well, I don't think it's hard. I don't think it's what you think it is. I don't think it's— you're looking at it at it as like, as a man who's been divorced, right? You're looking at it as the most negative way. You're amplifying the negativity of having a wife. You're like, I'm being nagged 10 times a week now from all different directions. I look at it as 3 holes. Okay.

Oh my God. Wow, you— that one really hit you hard.

6 for David.

I don't— I, I hate when people say that. I think that's really gross.

3 holes.

Yeah, I mean, it was pretty fucking gross, but Natalie's like, wow, that really hit you hard. Yeah, I put down my mic and I couldn't believe what you just said.

And your mouth just like actually drops.

No, I look at it as all those— this is that all those women have companions. It's like a group of people. I don't, I don't believe in it per se. Like, I don't think I could ever do that, but I'm just justifying it of why I feel like I could.

I feel like I could maybe—

you have 3 dudes?

No, no, just one.

Matt loves the idea of like her, her husband hooking up with another girl.

No, no, no, I don't. I don't.

Last time we talked about this, it was a bachelor party. She's like, when my husband is at his bachelor party, I want him to go fucking wild on the town.

No, that's not what I said.

No, I'm clipping it for your future husband too. When I'm with him at the party, I'm gonna be like, don't worry, dude, you can fuck anything you want.

No, I just—

She said it in a podcast 4 years ago.

No, that's not it.

Big day today here, Jay. Yeah. Because after this podcast, 20 college girls are coming over. Yeah. All of Natalie's sister's friends are coming. It's gonna be pretty intense here.

It's gonna be, it's like a big, like I've actually never had a girls' night out like I'm about to have tonight.

Yeah, they're gonna club, like literally 20 girls. What club are you going to?

Keys.

Keys.

Oh my God, I kind of do want to go there.

Tempted.

Really? Yeah, we're gonna be on stage.

There was this girl I liked once.

What?

You're gonna be on stage?

Yeah, the table on the stage.

Oh wow, it's like that.

Whoa, whoa.

Okay, damn.

What's that cost?

I don't know, I'm not paying for it.

But dude, they're girls, you think they're paying for it? I don't know, they pay, they pay for it with their presence. They literally just go there.

I'm bringing 20 girls.

Yeah, he's bringing 20 girls, like she doesn't pay.

Wow.

Yeah, life's lit when you're a girl.

Yeah, it really is.

Naveen Bill the other day, we ate something, and she was like, wow, is that how much things cost? And I was like, yeah, that's what it costs.

Yeah, no, it's crazy.

She's like, that should be like $60. The bill was like $220. Yeah, she's like, that used to be $60. I'm like, this is what's been going on.

Who do you think has more perks, guys or girls?

Guys.

Guys, right?

Yeah, guys have it better.

Like, guys have more like political—

I guess it depends on like what you're saying.

I like, generally speaking, guys, but I think a beautiful woman Do you know what I mean?

Pay gap?

Yeah.

Pig app?

Pay gap. But then you guys make it back on free clubs.

Yeah, I mean, there is literally nothing better, and I'm not preaching this about myself, personally.

If you could re-up, would you be a girl again?

Being a beautiful woman is the best thing on planet Earth.

So you would want to be a beautiful woman?

Yeah, I'd love to try something.

That'd be sick.

No, but honestly, I think I honestly think about Naveen more so in this scenario.

I can't imagine Naveen's life.

Yeah, fuck myself. Now I have to fucking pay my own goddamn bills.

That sucks.

Yeah, pay my bills. David's my pay pig.

Would you just call me a pig? You could have called me a bank, sugar daddy, anything. That's my pay ogre. What the fuck does that even mean?

I'm my kid's pay pig.

Yeah, Jay, that's how things work.

Oh, that's called life.

Yeah, we get Alfred. My kids are taking advantage of me.

They are.

Oh, that's really funny. But I was going to say, you're going to Keys. Last time I was at— what, there was a club right next door? This reminds me of it. Is there was this girl I really liked, and this is the furthest I've gotten with a girl, um, like in the love department for a really long time. I ran into this girl, um, in traffic. I really— I thought she was like beautiful.

Oh yes, I remember this.

And I was like, I got to get her number, I got to get her number. Long story short, she was driving to the same exact place I was.

Wow.

Yeah. And I was really stoked. I got her number there. She had a boyfriend though, so I was like, oh, that's bizarre.

Um, no, it's not.

It's like so normal.

Well, it's kind of bizarre she gave you the number.

She gave me her number. Yeah. And then, and then I text her like 2, 3 weeks later. She like asked me about something, not flirty, but I think she asked me about something. So I was like, why don't you come hang out with us? We're going to a bar. And she comes and she brings her boyfriend. And I was like, oh wait, you're still with him? Like, why would you accept this, this— that is strange, this request. I thought it was so strange that you came. And then 2 weeks later, they weren't together anymore. Now I don't know why they weren't together anymore, but they weren't together. And then we started like seeing each other.

Yeah.

And then I could never get over the fact that I met her in that situation. And I, I, I, I'm such a firm believer in you lose them the same way you get them.

Yeah.

So I was like, this isn't going to go anywhere because this will eat at me forever.

Really? Really?

Yeah.

Oh, I don't think like that. If the person's your person, that's your person, and they can drop your boyfriend. You guys could live together forever happily. So happily.

You're a weird dude, Jay.

No, I don't think that's true at all. I think that's like— that's your person.

Like, if your boyfriend— if you met a guy and he left his girlfriend for you, I think I could get over it. Oh my God, you guys, you hear about it, psychos.

Dude, you hear about it all the time. You'll be like, oh yeah, so-and-so is with this person, and then—

I mean, I'd want to know more.

She met Sheila, and he'll have a baby with the new girl.

He'll have a baby for how long? 10, 15 years until something happens, and then he cheats again, or something happens, or whatever.

I don't know, man.

Oh, I don't believe in that.

I think cheating is also different than leaving the person.

Sorry, I said cheating.

She didn't cheat.

She definitely didn't cheat. No, no, no.

But which I think is— I think that's totally different. I think that's totally fine. Yeah, she wasn't. But you— David has such like a strong philosophy on relationships. Like, he's like, you shouldn't even be dating one day unless you think you're going to marry and spend the rest of your life with this person, right?

Okay, yes, that's what I looked— that's how I'm like— so someone's dating somebody, I'm like, oh, they're they're getting married. Yeah, like in my head that's what they're doing.

I think you're finding too many things wrong with people.

Oh yeah, I'm a complete fucking idiot.

Yep.

No, I definitely—

I'm glad we finally got—

I definitely have issues.

David is an idiot. Comment below.

David is an idiot. That should be the title of this podcast.

I say release the lost tapes.

I say no.

Look at the 180 we've done this week from Monday to today.

Came back. That Monday show was a doozy. I left here and I was like, it's over. I was like, well, that's it, no more podcast. I'm like, maybe I can go work at Kohl's.

No, I'm doing a lot better. I'm doing a lot better.

I'm doing a lot better.

He is doing a lot better.

Thank you guys for checking in on me.

Thank God. And then I go report to like everyone— not everyone— I go to report to Naveen. I'm like, I don't know, man, he might be done.

I know, me too. I left here, I called my mom, I was like, I'm scared.

And Naveen's your biggest champion.

Really?

She goes, well, he's a Leo, he's gonna come back strong.

A little bipolar. I'm feeling it. All right guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Go follow James CEO on the TikTok. Go follow Nat. Um, Jason has his own podcast. Do you still do that podcast?

Yeah, I'm still doing it.

Nice. And go, go listen to that.

Go, go listen to Alex's music when it gets released.

Alex's music. Yeah, I'm looking forward to— I'm looking forward to hearing more from it.

Um, go wish my sister happy birthday.

Go wish Natalie's sister a happy birthday. And I will report back next week, my little perverts, on whether or not Nally and I hooked up tonight. And I'm calling you guys little perverts, but that's only for this episode. I don't actually want it to stick. It should be just a joke for this episode. That's it. Okay, bye.