David's Offer to Jason

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. It is me and Jason and then our friend here, you know, the person has perky tits, big tits, hot tits. I mean, I love to rub those tits.

You talking about Natalie?

Natalie's not here, it's John. Oh, but that is— I was testing you to see if you're a pervert.

Ah, shit.

And you are. Natalie is not here, guys. This is one of the— we should do like, you know, like on YouTube you could do categories of like style of videos. Like, here are my traveling videos. Yeah, here are my DIYs. We should do non-Natalie pods.

I don't know if Spotify has that bracket system, but that's a good idea.

Well, I think if they found out how many times Natalie hasn't been on it, they'd be like, this is exciting, we need to group all these videos or these podcasts together. Um, okay guys, so we are on our way to Bali. Yeah, um, I am. Jason's sitting this one out.

Yeah, if I had to go to Bali right now, I would just be dead. I don't even— I'm dead. I'm dead from Rio.

Yeah.

How about you, John? Are you going?

I'm dead too, but I'm being forced to go.

You're going to Bali?

Yeah. Yeah, he just found out yesterday.

Yesterday? Wow.

I was like most nervous to tell him because I was like, ah, I feel bad for his girlfriend. Yeah, because she's— she— he went away for a week and they're really close, and then she just told him she recommended that you should go. Was she even a little sad?

I mean, of course she's sad.

She's been upstairs the whole time.

What What do you mean upstairs, like crying?

No, no, no, she's not crying now. She's just sad.

What do you say to her when you're leaving for such a long trip?

I'm just like, all right, this time I'll get you two stuffed animals.

Did you say—

did you say you're gonna text her back?

Yeah, I always text her.

What do you mean? Well, in Rio you guys got into a little fight, remember? No, no, John was really drunk and he kept— he was on his phone the entire time. I'm like, John, the fuck's going on? He's like, Julia's mad at me. And like, and the text was a GIF of a, of a of a bottle floating in the ocean, and she texts, she's like, it just feels like I'm sending messages out into the middle of nowhere. Like, you're not responding, nothing. And John's like trying to put words together on his phone.

Yeah, that's a challenge for John to put words together.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, actually, when John's drunk, he's actually the most coherent. Yeah, it fixes his dyslexia or whatever he's got going on where it makes him a straight shooter. So really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The most I've been able to understand John is when he's fucking hammered. Wow. He speaks English like a professor.

I asked John to do a Grand Theft Auto video with me the other day, and he texted back, and I didn't even understand what he was saying.

Okay, well, I heard you asked about Grand Theft Auto yourself, and I thought that was weird. What did you say?

Well, I had heard that the— I'm gonna sound like such an old person, but someone told me that Grand Theft Auto is coming out. So I was like, oh cool, that'd be a really fun video. Me first time playing Grand Theft Auto. I don't know how to play video games.

Okay.

And like killing hookers might be funny or whatever. Yeah, that's what you do in that game, right? So I reached out—

You don't just kill hookers.

Right, but I mean like you can like drive around fast and crash crash into people.

Yes, right.

So I thought, oh, John and Alex, they, they have like video game systems, maybe they have Grand Theft Auto. But they were like, they were like, dude, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, you don't know about this? You haven't seen anything about it?

Well, okay, hold on. They made it sound like you were asking for the new GTA.

Yes.

Oh, and that's why I was like, what are you talking about?

Right? No, no, it's not out, right?

There's a new— the new GTA. I'm just looking it up right now. This is First of all, this is the most highly anticipated entertainment launch of all time.

All times?

Of all time.

Oh, really? Yes.

Entertainment launch, guys?

Yeah. Like, really?

Like, more than like a movie?

Jay, last time when GTA 5 came out, they were the first, like, first company to spend a billion dollars making it.

No, no, no, this is insane. And they pushed this game back. They've pushed this game back so much.

Yeah.

Where this is like a really, really big deal. It's going to, within the first couple days, it's projected to make $1 to $2 billion. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jay, like—

It's not like anything you've ever seen. It's not like a movie.

Alex said too, it's been 15 years since the last one.

Jay, last time it came out, we were in high school.

Oh really?

Yeah.

They don't update it? Like every couple years?

GTA 5, which was the last one that came out when we were in high school, in 3 days made a billion dollars.

Wow.

This is nowhere near— this is nowhere near to the small size of GTA 5. This is astronomically bigger.

Like, I know about it now, and I didn't know anything about GTA 5.

This is like— this is a meme.

Was that a game that you liked? No. Oh, you weren't into it?

No, I never played GTA. Oh, that's why I'm saying, like, even I'm anticipating it as a guy who never played it.

Wow.

Um, so yeah.

It's—

analysts are saying it's gonna be a billion dollars just in pre-orders alone. Yeah, and then in the first 60 days, they think it's going to make around $7.6 billion. Oh my god. So this is, uh, it's a big deal.

What does it cost?

Like $70, $80?

No, no, I think he's saying, or it'll be free.

Okay, and you pay in the app, you pay in the game for more stuff. Is that—

yeah, which is like the That's like, that's what's changed about video game culture, which kind of sucks. It used to be like, you go into GameStop, it's like Modern Warfare 2 is releasing, you're even waiting in line for it to release, and you pay $60, and you get your hand on a hard copy, and if you want to feel really special, you pay $120 and get like this like steel case, and with like bonus pamphlets or whatever. But like now it's like, the new COD comes out, you download it on your computer, It's free. Okay. It's free now, which kind of is like weird. And then, and then, yeah, if you want to buy a special gun, if you want to buy a special package, then that's where they, that's where they make all the money, which is actually genius.

Right.

And it's like, it's, it benefits everybody. I think like no one loses from that.

Yeah.

It just sucks that like the experience of going— I mean, that's like anything, right? Like you'd never go into a store anymore to buy anything, but that was like such a cultural thing to go buy CDs. Yeah, you used to go buy CDs. But like for Call of Duty, people would like, people would even set up their consoles outside of GameStop and they'd be playing the last Call of Duty. It'd be a big thing. Like it was a huge thing. The culture is completely different. Anyway, this new GTA 6, why it's so special is obviously with AI advancement and everything like this game is going to be so, I'm not even talking about how clear it's going to be and how the graphics are going to be incredible. Like every character you have a conversation with, is going to be a brand new conversation. Do you know what I mean?

Like, it's gonna be an actual character.

Like, it's gonna be a real human with, like, real past. Oh, like, you're gonna—

you're gonna do that in Call of Duty?

Fuck no. No, no, no, no.

You guys are talking to each other though.

Yeah, yeah, but there's not a— there's not even a remotely, like, AI character in Call of Duty.

Oh, so that's why it's taking so long. They're trying to get the AI right.

No, for sure. And, like, the hype for it is so crazy that I think, like, This is the sentence that threw me.

I said, is there a game that would be funny to watch me learn? Alex says, maybe COD, like Jon trying to teach you. I say, that would be really funny. And then Jon says, I mean, any game would be funny. I say, ARK for you, A-R-C.

Yeah, that's a game he plays.

I say, oh, ARK for you trying to convince people. ARK is a game? Yeah, ARK is a game. Okay, so it's my fault, I'm the idiot, okay.

No, that's okay though.

ARK for you trying to convince people, what's that?

It's just like, it's a game where it's like PvP and you're also PvE, which is playing against AI.

Dude, please explain it to what PvP means, man.

PvP means—

You're talking to a 90-year-old, dude.

Are you nuts?

What's trying to convince people?

So basically you like form alliances in this game.

Yeah.

Like online. You're talking to other players. So you'll run into a group of another 2 players.

Okay.

And you'll be like, let's team up.

Yeah.

Anybody in real life, like you're on a phone call.

Yeah.

Right? And then once they're like, yeah, let's do it, then they turn around and you shoot them in the back and you take all their stuff.

Yeah. And you're literally betraying them.

Oh, so I'm like betraying people that I'm talking to.

Yeah.

Or you could actually team up with them. So that's what's interesting about these games. Now they have proximity chat.

Yeah.

So usually it used, for video games, it used to be like me, John, Alex, Ilya would be in a party together so we could hear each other.

Yeah, okay.

So let me take you through the different types of chats. That's just regular game chat.

Yeah, okay.

Then they also have like before the match starts, everyone in the lobby can hear each other. Yeah, okay. Yeah, and then they added this new thing called death chat.

Okay, which was really cool and it really changed the game, is when you killed somebody for fu—

and they were on the opposing team, like obviously you could never hear the opposing team's chat.

Yeah, but when you killed them for 3 seconds, you hear their mic. Yeah. So you kill them and you hear them go, "Fuck!

Shit!

Goddammit!" And that's the best part of Call of Duty. The best part.

It's 'cause you're getting death chats from everybody. So every time somebody dies, they're obviously pissed.

Yeah.

And they say some swear word or something in the mic. Yeah. And it just like adds to the enjoyment of the game. And now they've added proximity chat, which is like, let's say you're in this huge open world.

Open world.

Like, and you're not—

I'm not playing— let's say I'm playing by myself.

Yeah.

And I walk into a building or a room anybody else who's a real-life player I could start talking to just because I'm in their proximity. Just so, so like now in Call of Duty, it kind of sucks. It's kind of a pain in the ass because people will like hear you, but like you'll walk into building and the enemy team will be like, fuck you, I'm upstairs, come get me, pussy. Yeah, during, during your—

takes away some of the suspense.

Yeah, it takes it away because if you don't know that there's an enemy near you, they'll overhear your entire conversation. Yeah. Yeah, so it's really interesting, but you should try GTA.

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah. You could roll through.

Even the old game, or should I wait for the new game?

Dude, the new game will never come out.

Really?

I mean, just God knows when it's coming. It should be here, what, next year?

Supposedly.

But it keeps getting pushed back.

You don't have the old GTA, do you?

Uh, I do have the old GTA, yeah.

Oh, okay.

You can get it.

But you're going to Bali, fuck.

Um, we're all going to Bali.

I'm so glad you're going.

I had to change my fucking flight.

Why?

I have to leave at 4.

Yeah, that's crazy.

My Australian visa hasn't gotten approved and expired when we went for New Year's. So now I have to fly through Hong Kong. But not only do I have to fly through Hong Kong, I have to land in fucking San Francisco first. What? And then go San Fran, Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Bali.

Wait, why two Hong Kong? Oh, because there's two flights in Hong Kong you gotta get.

Wait, did I say Hong Kong, Hong Kong?

It sounded like what you said.

Hong Kong, Bali.

Oh, you said San Fran, Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Bali.

No, I said San Fran, Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Bali.

That's two Hong Kongs. You're only going to Hong Kong once.

I'm just saying San Fran to Hong Kong, Hong Kong to Bali.

Oh, okay, okay.

I thought you were going San Fran to Hong Kong to Hong Kong and then to Bali. But the actual whole trip is San Fran, Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Bali, Bali, another place in Bali.

What?

Oh, yeah.

Wait, I didn't know that.

You're throwing in an extra Hong Kong.

You're adding another trip.

You're confusing the audience. You're only going to Hong Kong once.

I am only going once.

I mean, I don't know.

But I'm taking off from Hong Kong. No, John, you're not going to the second part of the trip. That's where I— so we're going for a friend's birthday.

Oh yeah.

And we've turned it into like a friend trip too. So the first half, yeah, like all our friends from LA are coming and then just me and Natalie are going to break off to go to this specific part in Bali for a friend's birthday. Oh, it's really cool. I've never been to like an international birthday.

Oh my God.

It's her golden birthday. So I'm really excited.

A lot of people, huh?

What's a golden birthday?

Like golden birthday is like 25. No, it's not, it's not a year. It's like mine when I turned 23 on the 23rd. Oh, that's my golden birthday.

Oh, I have never heard of that.

She's turning 27 on the 27th.

Wait, when's your birthday? The 18th?

Yeah.

Yeah, so unfortunately yours was about 25 years ago when I was 18. Now he's just 35. Yo, you know what I learned the other day? This is fucking crazy. All right, give me— let me ask Jason first because John knows weird facts sometimes. What is What's like the oldest— like, what's like the oldest creature that lives?

A turtle.

A turtle. How long do they live?

120 years.

Okay.

What about you, John? Or did you see what I sent in the chat yesterday?

I was going to guess a whale, though.

Okay.

I guess a whale.

Well, do you know that fucking turtles can live up to— in captivity, I think, like in perfect conditions, can live up to 150?

Yes, I have heard that.

Okay.

Whales live 200 years old. Oh, wow. Why the fuck did no one tell us that? Is that not crazy? Why were we not taught that in school? And then, let me tell you one thing that's gonna fucking knock your socks off. The Greenland shark lives 400 years.

Wow.

Lives 400 years. Does— can't get pregnant till it's 150 years old. Wow. Its pregnancy lasts 8 to 18 years.

What?

What? Yeah, I'm like, where the— I couldn't believe it. I was like, is this a fucking AI shark?

I had to Google this shit.

Dude, they must be endangered if it takes that long to get one out. 150 years. There must be like 20 of them.

400-year-old sharks. Do you understand? There's a shark that was born in the 1700s. That shark's got to be either fucking bored or is tapped into some crazy underwater networks. And there's like serious things going on down there.

Yeah.

Wow. And also, how does something live that long and we haven't harvested it to like figure out how to live that long ourselves?

Well, you know, there's huge developments in that, in living Living forever. Have you been following that?

But nothing like— no one's living to like 160 yet.

They think pretty soon.

You think?

Yeah, I think you'll live to like 160.

That's really sad.

160 would be crazy.

What do you do for that long?

Uh, well, I mean, the world's gonna be so amazing, you're gonna be so stoked to be there.

Are you bummed that you're gonna miss out some of the world that we're gonna be part of?

Hey man, I might catch the wave.

No, no, no.

I might get to one point.

And also, like, you never know. All these jokes are going to bite me in the ass one day because I'm going to die earlier. And then I'm going to be like, in this podcast he thought Jason was going to die. In this podcast he said Jason was going to die first. In this pod.

Speaking of podcasts, Jon, we have a development here at Views. I don't know if you heard, but there's a possible deal on the table for a video pod.

Video pod?

No, I mean, I don't think it's going to happen.

Spotify?

The basically the deal is if Jason does what I ask, if he gets it accomplished, I will do the podcast on video for him.

And I'm already working on it, John.

Wait, are you actually?

And the listeners, I've already made contact.

Actually?

And we are flying high.

No, you're not.

No, you're not.

We—

David, I'm getting this done. For me?

No, you're not.

For the listeners.

It's not possible.

For the listeners.

It's not possible.

Oh, I will get this done.

Do we say what it is?

Well, you're the one being cryptic. I thought for sure you would say what it is.

Oh, I thought you were gonna say what it is.

Oh, okay, here's what it is. John, do you know what it is? Do you know what David has asked for in return to do the video pod for 2 years?

What do I want more than anything in this world?

Let him see if he guesses.

Yeah, yeah.

Anything?

Can I localize it for him more?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, it's around this house. What do I want more than anything?

Movie night?

It should be so easy, John.

Tay's sandwiches?

It's not gonna bite you in the ass.

I just feel like I should know.

Ilya to hang out?

Yeah, I mean, it's gotta be Ilya. Is it a relationship? It's gotta be a person.

No, dude.

No?

That's the funny thing is it's really a bizarre request.

What do I complain about the most? Podcast listeners probably have already guessed it.

Yeah, the fucking trees?

Bingo.

Oh, nice job! No way!

Your whole basis of this entire thing is for the damn trees?

If Jason can cut down the trees that are blocking the view—

No way!

I will do the video podcast.

John, come on, baby, let's get this done.

I'm just talking to my neighbors and master negotiating. I don't know what that's going to take.

I mean, to be fair, Jay, it is pretty— it's a hard task.

Really hard task.

Yeah, it's a hard task.

You're talking about you just want them trimmed?

Yes, yes, that's all.

And the neighbor refuses to trim? Refuses? I'm coming in with deep pockets.

You're gonna give him a piece of the podcast.

You're gonna have to give up, like, you're gonna have to give up one of your kids, like, college tuition.

No, at least it'll all work out in the end. It's gonna be used for this bet.

I'll make it back in clips.

That's really crazy.

I'm gonna hire a clipping agency.

That's really crazy. I really wish you the best.

Thank you, David.

And like, I mean, obviously, like, I would— I'm a man of my word, so I'm obviously gonna do it, but like I mean, there's nothing that would make me happier on this earth than those trees.

Wait, how do you think we'd do the video pod? Like right here on the couch?

Um, I think we'd have to make another set.

Oh really? Because I feel like the only way you really like doing it is wrapped up in a blanket.

I do like it here.

It's nice.

It's kind of nice, dude. Other people have like podcasts just on the couch too.

Did you ever see the podcast that we did at his first house?

Like when we just did it on the couch?

We just did it on the couch.

Mm-mm.

I haven't seen it. The only one I remember seeing was the views one.

Oh yeah, no, we did it. We did another version on the couch. It was really casual.

Really?

Like really casual. Like Dave was like jumping up and down on the couch with the mic and he'd be like, Taylor, come in here.

Oh, can we, can we bring something up? Sure. Um, I got some shit the other— this was a couple podcasts ago. Yeah, for the clear TSA thing.

Oh yeah. Okay, well, we recorded a whole podcast about it.

A whole podcast, an hour-long podcast, just yelling at each other about it.

It came out great.

I edited it.

Jason, oh really?

Yeah, I cut it together.

Jason and I saw more eye to eye, I don't know.

Jason—

Your argument, you know, your argument, I understand your argument. Your argument's very tight. You have a very tight argument.

Well, first of all, what did you think of the Clear TSA debacle when we were going from— A lot of people were like— Debacle. What is it?

I don't know what a tobaccol is. Tobacco?

Tobacco?

John's like, tobacco?

Basically—

You smoking?

Basically, Jason bought Clear and then had to buy another thing to get through the line of Clear. Uh-huh.

Right?

2 layers. Yeah. And Jason was like, it wasn't worth it, blah blah blah. And I was like, it was incredibly worth it. Like, that's like— and then I made the point to Jason.

Jason's like, why didn't you mention this on the podcast before?

And I'm like, because I don't— I didn't feel like I needed to, right? And like, I still don't want to, but I will say it just for the sake of this argument.

I, I was defending you.

No, I know.

I said like, that's a, that's a very good point in your— in your—

I don't like putting all the cards on the table because I thought I could win that argument without it. Got it. But like, I'm booking like I've booked— I'm booking all the majority flights for our friends. So it's like $30,000 to $40,000 in tickets.

Yeah.

So like, and that's also employees that are flying that I would have to pay for another day if they're stuck somewhere.

Yeah.

So me paying $25 ahead, in total $100 to move 4 people across the line, is pennies as opposed to rebooking flights. Agreed. Like, it's like, it doesn't even compare. Jason hates Clear. I don't understand it.

If you guys want to hear that podcast, let us know.

I mean, you had—

I mean, to be fair, we got into it. I'm not gonna argue it here because we had a huge argument the other day, and Jason thought it was bullshit.

But listen, I mean, it's crazy.

It's crazy.

That shouldn't— that shouldn't exist. It feels like some Illuminati shit.

Yeah, it does.

Wait, what are you saying?

He's on my side.

I don't know what he's saying. What are you saying?

I'm saying it's like crazy. They like— for you, it's worth it. But for some people it's not, you know?

Right, right. Okay, okay, okay.

But like, to— for that to even be an option in general is crazy.

Okay, for the extra, the extra, extra, extra, right?

Yeah.

Okay, I agree with that. I agree with that sentiment.

That was my argument.

Yeah, but then you'd just be stuck in the clear line. Then you'd be stuck in clear with all the clear people. I was telling—

okay, I'm not trying to—

let's not talk about it because we might release that podcast. So let's just move on.

I don't think we will.

Let's just— let's just do it.

Really?

Let's just do it here with Jon.

It's really funny.

That's really funny.

All right.

Can you just play a fucking snippet of that pod right here?

Here's a part of the TSA pod. Let us know if you'd ever want us to release the full thing.

That is the most victim mentality. And that's honestly—

and I'm sorry you don't have anyone in your life.

That's you in a nutshell, actually.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Explain at the airport.

Oh my God.

Yeah, it's always— it's always— Not enough money. I want to take the bougiest, the highest road ever, but then all of a sudden I'm broke. I mean, is that not—

Natalie, economy for fucking 10 hours. I mean, how can you talk and you say that?

I want—

did I complain?

I want the privilege of getting the highest, nicest things, but then I'm complaining about me not having money. That is Jason Nash in a nutshell.

Oh my God, I'm traveling with 10 friends.

I can't afford my kids. Why? Because they Uber to fucking Khloe Kardashian's house in a black car and have lunch at Erewhon, and then I don't have enough money. That is Jason Nash in a nutshell.

Oh my God.

I mean, is it not?

And you in a nutshell is you are so fucking out of touch. My nutshell is I have 10 employees to get through the fucking airport. You're in a fucking $14 million house and you are so out of touch. Congratulations. And you get Air One every day. 'Cause I earned it. You earned shit. I mean, Natalie.

You earned shit.

I mean, I think you guys are doing a good job.

You filmed your friends being fucked up and you got a big house out of it.

Well, at least I had Fun, funny fucking friends to be around. Basically, John, what I said, supply and demand.

Yes. Yeah.

Yeah.

Like a lot of people bought the clear.

Yep.

And therefore everyone was in the clear line, so it wasn't really working.

Yeah.

So they had to do another layer of the next level. That's all it is.

I'm not doing this again with someone whose rent you pay. We have to get another person in here. No, no, no. I started to see John flip to your side.

No, no, no.

I see his eye.

Jay, don't you worry about me. I will argue this, man.

Okay, go, go, go. I love being against him.

Okay, okay, okay. But I mean, I, if I gotta agree, I gotta agree, Jay. I agree because of me. I don't agree because of nobody.

All right, John. All right, John, you got it. You got it.

Thank you, John. I'll slip you that $100.

We don't have to get into it. I don't really want to get into it.

I'm being very calm about it right now, obviously. I'm being very docile.

I know, I know, I know, but I can't argue it because I argued it the other day and then I edited the entire podcast. I listened to it. It's like I can't go through the same arguments. Okay, let's just do something else.

Damn, I can't believe I'm flying fucking 3 flights today.

Oh, Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Hong Kong, Bali, Hong Kong. John, are you sick?

No, just allergies. Well, maybe. I don't know, man.

You mean really sick?

Really?

She's fucked up.

Yeah, really?

Yeah.

Jake, you know, um, I was upstairs the other day, you know, and Natalie brought this up. I was like, of course she would. She was like, it's like, you know, in Doughbrick LLC we only have 10 sick days. I'm like, I only got sick because I've had to fucking fly for 24 fucking hours. With all these dengue mosquito bites on my fucking leg.

She didn't say that.

You don't have dengue.

What'd you say? Dengue.

Dengue, which that's in Bali.

You need Bengay.

That's where you're going to get it.

Bro, I brought Offspray. I brought two different types of fucking mosquito repellents this time.

I think one of us, just the odds of all of us being there, unfortunately, I feel like one of us is going to catch some dengue fever or whatever they got going on there.

It's not like an actual disease.

But yes, Natalie did say that. Natalie did say that we only get 10 sick days.

Is that true?

No, it's actually quite the opposite.

I never let Natalie skip work unless she says she's sick.

The one thing I hate more than anything is being around a sick person. So, like, because I don't want to get sick.

It's really cute when Natalie, like, fronts as a corporation, but you know that, like, none of the things that she's saying is true because you don't run it that way.

Yeah, it's fucking bullshit.

I mean, you know, John, we have 10 sick days. It's like, okay, sure.

Well, she picks and chooses when it's— yeah, when it's like a corporation and when it's just like we're friends.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's fucking bullshit. But to be fair, I probably do it the opposite way too. Yesterday I never called it a corporation.

You need to start calling it a corporation a little more.

I love saying that to Natalie because Natalie, like, like the other day I told Natalie, I was like, that's an interesting thing to say to your boss because she's just that. She's like, she's leaving for 3 months somewhere and then she's, she's kidding. And then, and then she's like, you're not my boss. We're partners. And I was like, oh, interesting.

I didn't know.

I didn't know we started the channel together.

Hey, I got a brand for a Natalie Bachelorette.

Wait, what do you mean?

Oh, I was researching Natalie's Bachelorette today, and I think I have a brand for her.

What is it?

That I need— you guys got to cut me in.

Wait, timeout. Did you make contact about these trees or no?

Yeah.

What do you mean you made contact?

I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to get it done. I just have to get really focused and I just have to fucking get it done. I want this video pod.

Like, you just got his number?

Huh?

You just—

I don't want to talk about it on the pod right now. I don't want to get the listeners too excited. The listeners are all lathered up.

You brought it up, just fill us in.

They're all lathered up for a video pod.

I don't think anybody cares for a video pod.

David, you are so—

just go—

I'm not trying to be cynical, I'm just saying like you're already getting the audio.

I don't think you're being cynical, I think you're like not even like thinking of yourself as the incredible person that you are and like performing well.

I'm just saying we're doing the audio, like why do you want to see us?

I can't even talk to you sometimes. You're so dumb. Like, what? Why wouldn't people want to see you?

I don't know.

A video pod? I guarantee you the comments will have the most comments on any podcast on right now because I'm saying I said video pod. People would fucking love it.

Okay, okay.

They would fucking love it. They love you. You're so funny. Right, John?

You don't need to say that.

And I hate that. I hate you can't take a fucking compliment. It's so annoying. That's what I hate about you.

Oh my God, here it comes.

You won't take gratitude. And you won't take compliments. And so you're like this—

I love gratitude. I think gratitude is—

You don't! I thanked you about the podcast. I sent you a nice text thanking you.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, I don't want you thanking me.

Oh, who then should I thank?

You want me to go thank Alex Newman about the podcast?

Well, when I say gratitude, I'm like—

You don't accept gratitude.

No, like Alex came home from Chicago and he's like, dude, like, I know you love this house and I didn't realize how awesome this house was until I had to spend a couple days back in Vernon Hills. See, I'm telling you. And Alex was like, and John, He has no fucking idea how nice his house is. And then I went to John. John was right in the kitchen. I was like, John, fuck you.

John's like, what?

And I'm like, you don't get it how sick this house is. This is one of the— this is the best house ever. I mean, dude, I got so lucky.

I— hey, the guy from Fairly OddParents was even blown away by this house. And you know that guy's probably got some money.

No, no, no, no. It's like, yeah, the guy who created Fairly OddParents came by yesterday. He drew us all customized pictures from the show. Really cool guy. Butch Hartman drew me a picture of Cosmo, Wanda, Timmy, and then cartoonized me, drew me as if I was in the show. Really sick. So I'm gonna hang that up. But yeah, he really liked the house too. I don't know, this house is just— I'm so sorry. It is— I am so— I hit the jackpot. I can't—

Jay, remember when you were gonna buy it and you were like, well, I don't know.

It's not even like a money thing. It's not even like I hit the jackpot in success. That's a whole separate category, right? I have hit multiple jackpots, and this like house category, like a lot—

not a lot of people, but think about all the people that have gotten to reach the level of success I have. Sure, like there's a handful, there's a good number of people. I don't know, I'm not trying to undersell, oversell, whatever. But out of all those people, there's still another jackpot to get the cool house, and I just really got lucky.

I bought the I bought this house at the best time.

Yeah, I got, I got it for $3 million cheaper than it was listed.

Did you buy it before COVID or after?

Like right during COVID The second I was in escrow, yeah, I got an offer for $2 million over on this house. And they couldn't— they could legally, they couldn't get out of escrow because they were already in agreement with me.

Wow.

Do you understand that?

Yeah, you got lucky.

I got so fucking—

and I love everything about it. Today, today I was in the shower and my shower sticks out a little bit, like the glass sticks out a little bit so I could see into the closet.

Yes.

And, and I like defog that part of the glass just to look into the closet. And I was like, I've never seen this angle of my closet.

I just like put my head in the corner.

Boner in the shower.

And I was just like, I was like looking at the closet. I'm like, I'm in my shower looking into my closet.

I do.

It was just, I always discover new angles and new things I'm looking at. I am so stimulated by this house. It's insane.

That's why you want the trees down.

Yes.

No, no, no.

It's— the view's a very, very big part for me. Very big part. Um, I'm— I just love this place so much. I'm so— I'm so grateful. And I don't mean to like say it in a braggadocious way. I— it's just— I've also just noticed, like you just said, with like Fairly OddParents, like with like— like I saw Logan Paul the other day, or Jake Paul, like this was a couple months ago. And, um, and when I met them, we were talking about their home in Puerto Rico and they were like, But dude, anybody got lucky with their house, it's fucking you.

Oh, have they been here?

They've just seen it.

Just seen it.

Yeah.

They haven't even been here.

Right.

Different thing when they're here and they recognize this house.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're like, you got so lucky with that house. And I'm like, I know, dude.

I wish I could be a little mosquito in that conversation.

Here's a little tip. If you guys out there, do you ever meet David on the street? Just bring up his house. And you'll feel— he'll talk your ear off for 30 minutes. I mean, you're literally Barney Hawkman.

That's literally his favorite conversation.

Yeah, he's such a little Martha Stewart.

It's just not his cars, not anything, not any of his work. The house.

Yeah, it really is.

Just really, it's incredible. Yeah. You'll be nice in this house.

It's incredible.

You know what it's missing?

What?

Podcast studio.

No, it's missing a girlfriend. Oh, I'm just kidding. I was trying to be lame. No, but once I get a girlfriend, I'll probably move out of here. Damn. Once, like, because why? There's so many people that live here and like, like so many people that like walk in throughout the house. Like, I don't think my girlfriend's gonna like that. Why? Oh, oh, because yeah, yeah, the funny part is John and Julia were looking for an apartment, right, like 8 months ago, and I was like, John, just move Julia in here. Like, I don't care. I'm sure Julia was like nervous about it. Yeah, of course, right? Yeah. And Julia's like, okay, fine, but we're only moving till January. And then we're going to look for places. And I'm like, yeah, right.

Once you get a taste of this, you're never leaving.

So I don't know, where's that conversation?

I don't know, dude.

Every time we get woken up by Ilia though, she does mention it. I'm not going to lie.

Oh, because the gym's under it.

The gym's so loud and it just fucks up the feng shui for her.

Well, you should just tell Ilia that that's too loud.

No, no, it's fine. It's fine.

It's fine.

But that's the only time she was like— but I tell her, like, calm down. I was like, look, look at the view.

John doesn't want to move because John doesn't want to split rent with Julia.

John doesn't want to have to pay rent.

I'm with this guy.

So John's like— What was the argument you guys got into?

Which one?

Where like Julia moves down the street. What was it? What was it?

It was for like one of the houses or something, right?

Yeah. Oh, you looked at a house down the street.

Oh, we've talked about this on the pod.

I think so.

Yeah, I think we have. Yeah, never mind.

No, no, but tell it again.

No, because we don't know it, and I think it's gonna sound more accurate on when we've described it before. I don't remember it.

Yeah. Um, but yeah, like, but basically Julia was gonna move and John was gonna stay because I was like, I live right there.

I mean, yeah, I'm very, very, very lucky, and it's just like a communal spot.

I'll give you some gratitude about this house. There's, there's days when I have had like really, really hard days, like really worried about everything, and I'll just come and I instantly, instantly feel better when I sit on either of these couches.

Really?

Yeah. And instantly, or if I, if I get the spot in front of the TV and the doors are open.

Can I just tell you my favorite thing? I don't think we were podcasting during this time when I got the house.

Yeah.

Or maybe we were, but I got the house without anybody knowing. Like Natalie didn't know. Oh yeah, none of you guys knew. Yeah, so I got to bring all of you guys in and surprise you with it.

That's your favorite.

And yeah, and that, that was like such a crazy memory because also like this house is like not like my old house. No, this was weird.

And like I remember I was looking for a new house because it's so much bigger because before I was in Studio City and we were just outgrowing it. So many people are coming over where we just needed more room. And then we found this and I was like, I'm not paying a dime over 5 million. And then the guys were like, uh, I saw this house before it was built, like a year before it was finished. I saw— was here nothing, it was dirt.

It was just dirt.

Lot is owned by Walt Disney's brother, right? So this is owned by Disney and it was just dirt. And then they built the house and then I saw like a month before, or like 4 months before it's finished. I didn't really get it. And then I came back again and I still didn't really get it. And Natalie was like, are you an idiot? This is everything you've ever wanted. And then I kind of thought about it and I got it and I surprised Natalie. Got to surprise you, Josh, Zane, you know, everybody. And it was just like so fun. And like the best part about it is like the way, the reason I talk about it so much isn't because it's like, it really is like a communal thing and it's like a house for everybody. So that's why I get so mad when Jon, I'm not like, when I get mad at Jon for not being, appreciative of this, it's not that I am— this is my house and like, it's, it's that like, we're all here. I don't give a fuck how I got to this house. I don't care if John sold a fucking Korean noodle company and I ended up in one of the bedrooms. I don't give a fuck.

Found a cure for dengue.

Yeah, found a cure for mosquito bites. I don't care. It's as long as we're all here together and we are. And I think that's so fucking sick.

I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, I wish, I wish you could, I wish people could watch you on movie night. I wish you would film that for Snap. Why? I don't know, you become, you're just so, so charged up. Well, so charged up about a movie that everyone's already seen.

Well, sometimes there has, there's been a person that hasn't seen the movie and that gets me excited.

Like, you extend, you stand up on the couch, you're like, okay, is everybody ready? Okay, let's watch Steve's video first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's gonna be first. We'll watch Steve's videos, then, then we'll do Border Identity.

Yeah, our movie nights seem to line up with Steve's posting schedule. It's really strange. It's kind of crazy. So before we— yeah, before movie night starts, I definitely put on Steve Will Do It. What should my last meal be before I board this flight?

I thought you meant like last meal, like your last meal on earth.

I think I'm going to do Five Guys.

Well, where are you going to do that?

I'm going to just have it come to the house.

And that just is okay with you? You like eat Five Guys and get on a plane? Like, I couldn't do that.

I don't even know what that means. Like, what's gonna— what's gonna happen to me?

No, no, I'm sure you're fine. I'm sure you have like an ironclad stomach.

No, no, like, I just— like, what happens to you?

Like, oh, it's not like—

it's not like curry.

No, I'm like really heavy and bloated, and then like you have to poop. Oh no, no, no, it's like Five Guys and then go sit on a plane.

This is gonna be our first trip with Ilya's girlfriend Emma.

Fun.

Oh yeah, so I'm really excited. We don't get to see Emma a lot. Yeah, and like Emma's like, you know, obviously taking Ilya from us, like, just like a girlfriend should or would.

Yes.

So there's gonna be a lot of competition at this, at this, uh, I think that we're gonna come in hot. We're gonna be like, oh, nice to see you, Emma. You know, there's gonna be some, obviously some beef. We split Ilya 50/50. Um, so that's gonna be, we're gonna overcome that, but it's gonna be nice.

We'll be playing a lot of imposter on the trip.

A lot of imposter. Yeah. And Bali's known for padal, I think.

Oh yeah, really?

Yeah, so I'll be doing a lot. Like, I'll be getting active there. It's gonna be really fun. What are you gonna do while we're gone, Jay?

I'm going to Boston to— I'm going to New England to show Charlie a bunch of schools. Northeastern, BU.

Oh, your last kid going to college.

Wesleyan, UConn. Yeah.

Is this bittersweet? You don't really think like a human, though.

What does that mean?

Like, I feel like you like—

Let Jason talk on the podcast. I kept thinking about that.

That's really funny. Yeah, I literally just like blazed through you right now. I was like, you don't do like a human. You're weird. Anyway, hot dogs.

David's dad said that he cuts me off a lot.

Yeah, I'm trying to do better. Also, it's my dad's birthday today, so—

Oh, happy birthday!

Shout out Paulo. Paulo's birthday!

Jason has a lot of insight, you should let him talk.

I was saying like, like, well, the one thing I think about you a lot is when you— you— I ask like when your child was born. Yeah. What was that like?

Okay.

And I think you're always like, It was like nothing. Because you always say that it took you like 2 years to actually like understand that that was your kid, which I find to be the most interesting POV I've ever seen. Is that accurate?

It's pretty— it's really accurate. I have a problem, like, um, I have a problem with like babies where like the baby is not— not— doesn't talk. So I'm like, what? I just don't know what to do about a baby. But once they get to be like 3 or 4, oh, it's It's the best.

But that's so interesting. So fun as a baby. That's where I'd be like, you're like, you're the specimen that we created. Yeah, that's like, that would be—

I don't know.

I'm sorry.

I think there's something wrong with me.

I'm just as excited for having a baby as I was trying DMT for the first time. Just less nervous. It's just going to be such a baby or house, huh?

Baby or house.

Come on, Jay, don't do that to me.

We'll see. That's what I'm saying.

In other words, like, until the kid is like, imagine if someone was like, I'm going to take your house away right now unless you give me your firstborn. I'd be like, goddamn, we can have others. Damn, that's crazy.

We'll have a second and third.

How does the firstborn thing work? Did people used to do that?

Yeah, it's like a saying from the past, I guess.

Yeah, but like, why would somebody do that?

Take your firstborn is like, you know, then you have someone to work on the farm and— oh wow, like really, you give your firstborn to— or you would in a feudal society, like you You would give the firstborn.

I feel like I've only seen that with like stories, like fantasy stories, right? Where like a witch will come for your firstborn or something.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So, so back to what you're experiencing and feeling here, cause you're not as human as the rest of us. Um, no, but what is this? What is this moment like for you? Or is it bittersweet? Are you like, is it like, cause you have, you have graduated yourself of being a parent right here. This is the moment when they go off to college. I feel like society-wise, like, that is like, you've done it.

Yeah.

Do you feel that?

No, because you're— I'm just always worried about her. Always worried. It's like, oh God, she's going out in the world. Like, what's she gonna do? AI's coming. That's what's going on in my brain.

You're so— you're so annoying.

What? What?

What?

And I'm not.

You asked for an honest fucking answer. I'm not annoying.

That's literally a lot of people think that.

You're annoying because that is honest. Yeah, and I know people—

What am I supposed to say then? You tell me. You tell me.

This is what I'm going to say.

Yeah, Mr. No Kids.

Well, apparently I'm Mr. No Gratitude when you over here can't recognize that I'm going to pay you a compliment, believe it or not, goddammit. You've raised two great kids, and the fact that you can't just rest on that and just be like, you know what, I have done a good job, I shouldn't be worried, she's very smart, he's very great, I've done my part. And you can't not worry for a fucking single second, and it drives me nuts. Oh, I see.

That's fair.

Yeah, it is really fair. It's fucking insane.

Okay, so you want to pick up her tuition at Tulane for $80K a year?

It's just, you are—

you're not glass half full.

You're, you're, where—

how can I crack this glass?

You want to— you want to pay—

Where are the stains in this glass?

I mean, it's just like, it's never done.

Yes, I understand it's never done, but I'm just saying—

Right, but take a moment—

A part of you's gotta be like happy that your kid's not addicted to fucking meth.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, but okay, so then you're right, but the same thing, like if you have like a good day shooting the vlog and I say like, "Good job, that was really fun," and you just fucking grunt, you're the same as me. You're the same!

That's so different as you raise—

Why?

Why is that different?

Because we're roommates.

Because you raised a child for 18 years and now they're going on to adulthood.

It's different than me trying to be consistent on YouTube and thinking, you know, yeah, but, but it has nothing like that.

That's different in that, like, you have a responsibility for morale.

No, that's like, okay, that's like, that's like this. That's like this. This would be the— this would be the comparison.

You're the leader here.

Netflix came to me and was like, we're taking the videos off YouTube. Yeah, like, now we're just doing Netflix series videos. Okay, and then you come to me like, good job on the vlogs. That is behind you, right?

Yeah.

Like you've done it, you've achieved that. And now onto the next thing that's a little bit different. That's kind of—

It's the exact same thing. It's the exact same thing.

You think I'd give the same response?

Huh?

You think I'd give the same response?

No, it's the same thing. Like you're saying to me, you've done a great job on Wyatt and Charlie, now rest. But I'm not gonna rest because I still have to pay for college.

No, I'm just, no, I'm saying you have to acknowledge what you did as like this, like—

John, jump in here. Is it not the same thing?

I mean, Jay, it should be up to their shoulders to pick their colleges.

So it's their— they're adults now, dude.

Yeah, it's their tuition. It's not yours.

Right. But you don't see the parallel here that we're both—

I haven't even thought of that.

It is unfortunately their tuition.

It's their— it's their choice. So it's their tuition.

It's their pay.

They have to pay with what, John? What are they going to do?

See, why do you think like— why?

It's going to start OnlyFans.

Why do you—

how else do you think the rest of the world works?

Yeah.

Why do you do that?

Why do you spoil your kids?

That is how the world works.

That is not true, Jake.

Parents pay for college and take on those loans.

Jake, my mom—

Jake, you live in fucking Beverly Hills. Yeah, goddamn Hills.

My parents do not. I don't live in Beverly Hills, I live somewhere else.

This is a very different—

maybe in my mind I live in Beverly Hills.

This is a very different part of the world that you live in.

I don't know where I'm from, my parents paid for college, you know.

I don't think that's how—

that's not true at all.

Okay, alright.

Even Mike, and Mike was middle class.

If you were in our school, and you said your parents paid for your college, it would be very obvious that you were like spoon-fed.

Yeah.

You would be like, you would be an alien. Yeah.

Really?

Yes. And we had a good school.

That's why you have to fuck them.

Everybody I went to school with, their parents paid for college. And I didn't grow up in like a—

Nah.

No.

Oh yeah.

No.

Well, yes, I believe you.

100%.

I believe you, but—

I guess I did grow up in maybe, no, wait a minute.

My sister went to college, my other sister went to college, my brother went to college.

And they all pay for it themselves?

Yes!

How?

You get a job, you get loans.

You get a job!

Totally. I'm asking. So they got loans or they got a job?

Both.

And they went to school? Both.

And then they went to school.

They're working and going to school. And then you get a career. Yeah.

Right, and so they're working where? And paying?

There's no fucking way we're having this conversation.

Jake, no way!

I'm just asking!

This is crazy! This is crazy! How are you going to school and make $90,000 a year? Don't go to school that you have to pay $90,000 a year. It's not that hard. Yeah, but get a tuition.

You're talking about, you're talking about like somebody giving somebody like the best, sending somebody like to a really— to, to be at like a, a fancy school is like you're rubbing shoulders with like other, you know, people that are going to do great things.

Yeah, but that's like, right, that's really nice that you want to do that for your kids, but nice for you. One, maybe You can't do that.

Yes.

Because you're not financially there.

Yeah.

So you shouldn't be experiencing that burden because that shouldn't be on you.

Okay, you're right.

Because the rest of America—

I'm gonna do it anyway, but you're right.

Yeah, okay.

Sure.

But I'm like, it's your choice.

This is—

You win.

This is why you get yourself into financial trouble. Because— and it comes from a good place. You're not buying yourself Chanel bags.

No.

No, it is all for your kids. But your kids live like you are a multi-multi-multi-multi-millionaire.

Agreed.

You live lives that I've never seen before. Like, you are Courteney Cox still living off Friends. A million a fucking month.

It's just very, very different.

I don't know what to do, guys. What do I say?

I love you, Jay, but that's like—

But you're crazy.

Yes, I agree with David on this one, dude.

Good for you.

Yeah, good for you. If anybody has a question about where Jason Nash's money is, or they're on TikTok and they're digging into Jason Nash's finances, please send them this podcast and tell them to skip to the 30-minute mark where we start talking about it. You will understand this man.

Good for you.

That was why I did TikTok.

My mom and dad did the same thing. They'd be like half a million dollars in debt.

Which is crazy.

Even high school tuition is crazy.

John, you know he pays for high school tuition.

Yeah, I think that's retarded. Sorry, my bad.

That is just dumb. At least he stopped himself. All right, guys.

All right, guys.

That's all the time we have for today's podcast.

Uh, we're gonna start Jason's GoFundMe for his kids' Ivy League schools really soon, and we will see you guys for the next time.

Bye-bye.