David Parties at The Grammy's

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. Guys, Natalie is back from her second vacation of the year. Oh my God, and then did you hear what she said when she just walked in?

It's only January.

Did you hear what she— first of all, we were waiting for her to do this fucking podcast.

Okay, first of all, Yes, speak.

Try to defend yourself. I thought you were gonna say you're in Australia and Aspen, and it's, it's literally February 1st.

Yeah, that's okay. I'm allowed to leave on the weekend, bro.

No, you have been vacationing after vacationing after vacation.

Um, that's because you took away all of my holidays and my fucking birthday, so you know what, you could suck my fucking dick.

Yo, blame it on me.

I'm not, and I didn't complain. Actually, you know, I will fully— no, no, no, no, I'm standing up right now. No, I'm fucking standing, dude.

You're lucky I'm hungover or I would stand up and beat your fucking ass.

Okay, amazing. I'm so scared of you.

Listen, um, you both are not in great shape today, I'll be honest.

Wait, I'm in impeccable shape.

You said 3 o'clock, it's 4:30.

Well, okay, that's crazy. Yeah, Natalie, you came down at 3.

I also— I also—

what do you mean? I woke up.

I was here at 2:30 to set up. You came down hungover.

I woke up because the text was 3:30. It was— I got 3 No, 3:30. I read she texted.

I don't know what you read, but she put 3 o'clock in.

So she's miscommunicating. Jay, don't yell at me.

He told me he goes, back me up on this one. Oh, sorry. I flipped the script because let me tell you something. First of all, this is all I have.

We have a common enemy and she's standing right here. So literally, no Aspen ski outfit.

I'm in a— I'm wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

I already know what she's going to say. She's going to go, you guys, it's your podcast.

Yeah, it's literally— I didn't I didn't know that I needed to be here. I thought you guys could take it upon yourselves like the grown, mature adults that you are and do your job.

Well, I wanted you to be part of the intro because I wanted to start the podcast like yelling about something.

Yes.

Awesome. I'm glad I could be here to be yelled at.

Mission accomplished.

Yeah, I just wanted to get angry.

Where were you?

Here, let me, let me take some.

I was in Aspen with a bunch of girls.

Oh my God. Never go to Aspen. Never tell someone you went to Aspen. That just sounds so hoity-toity.

It's so crazy.

You should have said Chicago. You could have said Laguna. I can't help it.

She's just so brainwashed. Like, by brainwashed by all of LA. She's just like, yeah, casually hopping over to Aspen.

Yeah, it's an hour and a half flight, it's not a big deal.

Okay, whatever.

No, well, just got drunk. I've been to Aspen. You either ski or—

I'm not an Aspen girly.

I don't know, nobody invited you, so thank God.

Okay, you know what, I was gonna lay off you.

There's no shot you were gonna lay off me. I knew what I was walking into.

I was gonna— no, I was just gonna lay off you, like, just now, like, this moment, but But after you said that, I'm full force going down your throat this entire podcast.

That's really weird. Take that back.

Okay, whatever. Let's backtrack. Anyway, yes, I'm not in the best shape today. I was sorry. I was celebrating music's biggest night.

Dude, thank God you were there.

The amount of things—

Thank God the Grammys had me at the after parties. I'm very hungover. I had one of those nights last night. Where I went to a Grammys afterparty, which first of all, going to— every time I'm in the car going to any Oscars or Grammys events, I have the biggest imposter syndrome. Like, I'm like, why the fuck am I— I have nothing to do with like the music community or anything. But then I totally flipped the script on myself because as I was approaching my destination, I'm like, I love music. And I was like, I'm here to celebrate what people make. And like, you know, that's the right attitude.

Yeah, the Grammys, that's what it's all about.

Yeah, it's celebrating music, not just music makers, it's music lovers.

Yeah, like if I was like a Grammy-nominated musician and you came up and said that to me, I'd be like, yeah, man, yeah, it's all about it. Just like, right on, man.

Because you go to these Grammy parties that it's usually like, it's very star-studded.

Yeah.

And then, and then you— I feel kind of out of place because like everybody, like When you're an influencer, you're really at the bottom of the totem pole of like really anything. So it just always feels a little bizarre, like being around like Grammy Award-winning like superstars, people with talent.

Go ahead.

I actually thought I did a pretty good way of painting us like shit already. But yeah, no, no, no, no. But I had a great time. It was amazing. My problem was it was one of those nights where after I got done with it, I said I'm not going to drink for a while.

Yeah.

And I, we had, I had one of these benders with Natalie a couple of months ago.

You really love to reference that bender.

Well, because it was like so eye-opening for me. And yesterday was the same shit. Like, I got home at around 6:30. I couldn't sleep. Fired up the hot tub.

David sent me a selfie from the hot tub. First of all, we had a call this morning that I've already had to push twice this weekend because David has not been able to make it. I'm like, hey, David, checking in. Like, you're going to make this phone call because it's morning. David's not a morning person. Yeah. And he sends me a selfie from the hot tub, and I said, are you okay? What's going on?

What time did you text him?

That was like 8 AM. Yeah, yeah, you're in the hot tub at 8 AM or 6 AM, something like that.

So bad. And so, you know what the craziest part is? It was just me. Alex was going to work out. Oh my God, the craziest part of the hot tub experience was it wasn't even hot. It was just tub. It was just tub. And yeah, I've— I— yeah, I had one of those nights, which is totally fine. It's out of my system for the time being. Um, obviously I'm gonna have to celebrate movies biggest nights in 4 weeks at the Oscars. Obviously I'm gonna have to do—

we're going to Miami this weekend.

What?

Yeah, for what?

Oh my God, our friend's birthday. Yeah, and I promised him I'd get shit-faced. Okay, okay. Wow, that is actually a lot. Yeah, I wasn't gonna drink till like like an Oscars type of event. But I guess—

What do you do? What are you doing at the—

I only do— I only do— what do you call the— what do you call the 4 award shows?

The EGOTs?

I only do the EGOTs.

See you at the Tonys.

Wow. The life of an influencer. Yeah, I only drink at EGOTs, but I haven't been drinking in a really long time, so I really went. But I had such a good time. I had such a fun-filled I got to watch Bruno Mars perform at an after party, which was really special. Which is crazy, 'cause he's actually, first of all, he's beautiful. He's a really good looking guy. And he's just the best.

He loves to sing.

Holy fuck, did you hear that? My hat fell behind the couch.

Be honest, when there was that fart last week, was it you?

Oh, in that thing?

Yeah, in the mic.

Yeah, it was me.

You did fart?

No, deadass, it was my hand.

Yeah, you can't make a fart noise going across the mic. It was you.

Have you thought about this?

I've been thinking about it ever since.

I said that ass at the moment. You did?

Oh, okay. Guys, go back and check the tape for me.

But, um, but yeah, it was fun. I had a good time. How was Aspen vacation, lady?

I'm sure you're dying to know.

Well, why I was angry with Natalie is because she came in here bitching at us immediately.

Wait, what are you saying? You literally— I walked in the door. Jason, come on.

I'll be honest, I didn't hear her say a thing.

Fucking asshole.

What did she say?

She's like—

I wasn't paying attention.

Because remember, right when she walked in, I was like, let's go. Podcast room. And then she goes, that's not what you said, David, and you know it.

Okay, you were like, let's go.

Okay, big difference.

Yeah, you were like yelling, you're all negative.

Anyway, yeah, I said let's go.

Yeah.

And then she goes, oh really? You've just been fucking getting drunk the last 2 days and not doing anything? That's what she says to me when she's just got off her fucking flight from Aspen.

Yeah, but I made all of my commitments. I got on those meetings, I answered my emails, and I fucking partied.

Where were you for the fucking biggest night of music?

I'm not a musician.

But how did you contribute to celebrating music like I did?

Post Malone was lost without you.

Goddamn, Natalie, you are so selfish. I know, not giving back to the community.

Incredible.

Well, whatever, I did my part. Okay, how was Aspen? Tell me, what is it like?

It was great. It was like, there was like 10 girls.

Wow. Anybody that I would be able to date? Um, oh, maybe.

Honestly, yeah, they were all like pretty beautiful. They're all like, you know, in the same space as us, so they get it, they understand the job and whatever. So maybe I, I didn't bring you up though.

Sorry, that's fine. I, um, I've run— I've run into— yesterday was actually my second time like running into a girl that I've hooked up with.

Yeah.

Um, and then there was, there was another girl like a week ago. Um, that like girls that I, that I used to hook up with, right? But now they have like boyfriends and it's like really cool like talking to those girls because like now it's like our dynamic is like I'm still looking for somebody.

Yeah.

They're like happily in a relationship they know me because they've hooked up with me. They could vouch for me. And now I could be like, could you please help me find somebody? And they're like, so fucking like, yeah, 100%. I look—

oh, that's nice.

So yeah.

So I think they like really mean that though.

Yeah, 1000%.

Okay.

Did they try last night?

Yeah, but they were— last night she was like really like trying for like that specific night, like for me to hook up with someone when I was just like saying like in general, like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, I just like want to marry somebody.

Yeah, you got to communicate that.

Yeah. Um, so yeah, there was a stripper at one of the parties I was at last night.

Oh, okay.

And you know, honey, you know, it's my weakness.

Honey's back.

No, it wasn't her. But, um, but yeah, no, I just had— I had such a good night. I'm so grateful.

We're so happy for you.

Yeah. Okay, sorry, I was asked, but 10 girls, what do you guys do?

Oh, I thought you changed the subject because you just didn't give a fuck about my trip.

I don't know why I did. Oh, you said girls.

What's going on if you don't ski?

It's a small town.

I've been there.

Small town.

Let's just say she wasn't skiing, but she was definitely skiing. Oh yeah, you know what I mean?

No, honestly, shocking. Um, I was actually pretty surprised by like, there wasn't that many like great like men that I was like attracted to that I was like, oh, you know, because when you're on a girls trip, like all the girls, and I think 90% of us were single, so we were all like had each other's backs.

90% of you are single?

Yeah. And like 10 girls walk into a club together and we're all done up, we look, you know, really great. And like, everybody's like, okay, ego. I'm not saying about me.

I'm just saying you look good too last night. I saw the pictures.

Main character. We all walk into the club, all eyes on us.

I'm just—

no, we run Aspen.

Not at all.

Oh, Natalie, please. You'll never understand being part of the Grammys. What it's like to actually be a star.

I'm just— usually it's like a group of 10 dudes that walks into a club and like goes to a table. It's very rare that there's a group of like 10 girls that are going to a table. I, I, from what I, my club experience.

Oh right, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like a bachelorette party.

Yeah, yeah.

And, um, and yeah, and so we all had each other's backs. We were all trying to like help each other.

Like help each other, what, what are you talking— oh, like hook up with guys?

Yeah, like just talk to guys.

Or like hook up with anybody?

No.

Were you close?

No.

That's crazy, you're the worst luck.

But I was voted MVP of the trip.

Whoa.

Yeah, I was really proud of myself.

I was like, whoa, how did you— was it like you snorted the most lines?

Yeah. No, how did No, I just like, I don't know. I think like I was just having fun. Like I was like, let's do shots. Let's get around to shots. Let's— where's the bottle?

Fun fact. This is, this is to Natalie's, um, this is a compliment.

And I think people don't expect it. Sorry.

Yeah. People don't expect Natalie to be a fun vibe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, which when we talk about a lot, it's just like, it seems to be a common thing.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's like really, it's really funny to see people actually hang out with Natalie when she's drunk. What do they do?

What do they do?

Because people are so surprised. Like, okay, so here's a good example. So our friend Mike, who we've known for a while, yeah, he's having a bachelor party in Vegas. Bachelor party, all guys. Yeah, I call him, I call him, and I'm like, okay, this is like your thing, so you gotta, you gotta let me know if like this is a no. She doesn't know I'm asking you this, but do you think Nat should come to Vegas? Because like if Nat's not in Vegas, we're all kind of lost, right? Like we're just none of my friends from my hometown have been to Vegas, and it would just be me and like Ilya. And like, we wouldn't be able to plan things without Natalie.

Yeah.

And he goes, like, before I even finish, he goes, I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to bring her. He goes, and he goes, because she's surprisingly fun to hang out with. So yeah, which is pretty crazy that like Natalie is like one of the dudes. So like he's— yeah, he's inviting her to the bachelor party, which is a big deal.

That is crazy.

Which is another bender we're going to have. This is crazy. Are we actually going to Miami?

So I'm saying Miami. We're going to Vegas. And then we're doing the Vegas bachelor party and then rehab in May. No, literally.

Wait, that's crazy. Jane, you were just talking about how it's kind of hard to have like a fun night in L.A.

Yeah, that's what I said. I was like, he told me about his night and I was like, wow, that's awesome. He had like a fun night in L.A. Like, yeah, I wish I could really—

like, I haven't had that in a while. I want to like— I love name dropping and stuff. Like, yeah, when I'm just like talking to you, but like, I wish I like had like No, I don't wish. I like that I don't do it, like, on the pod, because I feel like I'd be like a spy among everybody. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Like all these people that like live, like, try to live really private lives, and then like—

and then it's like, it's like, oh, he was talking about my podcast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. I hate that when I see that on other—

I mean, it's crazy. Steve Harvey was there.

Oh my God, wait, did we talk about this? What? Oh, we did talk about this, right? When— wait, did we?

Yeah.

Oh, fuck, maybe we did it. Okay, when we were at— we were at the club once.

Yeah.

And I ran into Tom Holland.

Yes, I remember.

Who I'm— did we talk about this in the podcast?

No, I don't think we were doing—

who I'm like a big fan of, obviously. And Tobey was there at the same time. Both of the Spider-Mans were there, and this was— this was before the Spider-Man movie came out.

And you got mad at, uh, a couple of our friends who talked about it.

Yeah. Did I talk about this in the pod?

No, because it was—

we You were actually mad.

So we— yeah, we were at the club and, and Tom and Tobey were there and such a big fan of both of them. So it's like a big deal to me. And I got to talk with both of them. I really like both of them. And, and Zane's there with me and everyone else who like doesn't know Marvel like I do. And this was like, this is probably 4 or 5 months before the Spider-Man movie came out where everyone was like, I think all the Spider-Mans are coming back for this movie. Like all 3 of them are going to be in it. And I'm like, if two Spider-Mans are hanging out at a club in LA, they're shooting something. Like, something's going on. And I told Zane and Heath, I was like, this is like a big deal. Don't talk about this. Like, as we were leaving the club, I was just— I just want to be clear, like, don't say anything. And then they went and they talked about it on the podcast, right? And they were— it was like clipped as like one of the leaks, right, for like the Marvel movies, whatever. It was a very small leak.

Yeah.

But like, I was so mad.

You got a little nerd rage.

Yeah, because I was like, this is like— because I was like, this is a secret. This is like— this is—

people are reading—

years—

it's not a secret. I mean, they're getting— they're getting paparazzi as they leave the club.

No, they're not.

Sure they are.

No, they're not. They were— they were never— Jay, they were never photographed. Any of them were never photographed together till Zayn said— until Zayn said something on his podcast. I'm not kidding you.

Zayn ruined the Spider-Man movie.

That's why it was such a big deal.

I don't think so. Nat, what do you think? Do you think there's validity to what he's saying?

I think 100%.

Okay, so Zayn and Gigi put out their unfiltered podcast, and then suddenly E! News is like, oh my God, they're back together.

Jason, I was getting ready for the Spider-Man movie. I was so excited. You just have to look at it from a Marvel fan's perspective. It's like you got to see the movie early and then you spoiled it.

Okay, so if there's a Marvel fan out there, like Supes, and he saw that, he would have been bummed out?

No, he would have been— he was excited like me. Like, when I saw it, I was—

if he saw it through Zane and Heath, would he be bummed out?

No, he'd be excited, but you still don't want to spoil it.

Like, obviously he's the most biggest fan. That's like, literally, that's what that guy does.

But people want to know ahead of time.

No, like, but how is it ruining it? Because if it's not ruined for Supes, then it's not ruined for anybody else.

It is ruined.

It's ruined. The surprise is ruined. You're not in theater. You're not getting the reaction anymore. You're just like, you kind of know ahead of time.

Have you been to— have you been on premiere day to the movie theater, like when a Marvel movie has come out?

Yes, I have.

Isn't it like, like that you're ruining that? Like, that was the pinnacle big moment in that film. And not to say that everybody in the theater now knows because of Zayn and Heath's podcast, but like, there— if there are people there, then that moment becomes ruined.

That was— I'm telling you, the first and only time those two were together, right?

Well, so, and, and was it everywhere after Zayn and Heath put it on their podcast?

No, but it was— but I saw it and like maybe 50,000 to 100,000 people saw it. Ilya's here. What happened? What's up?

Nothing. I just want to blow some steam off, come on the podcast, talk to my best friends. That's really it, man.

Blow some steam off? Like, what do you have to talk— like, what, do you have like a problem with us?

Well, you know he's the busiest man in the world.

That's true.

Oh, are you about to confront him?

That's true.

I am.

Okay, about the email?

Yeah, yeah, I saw that email you sent today. It was fucking crazy.

Oh really? Which one?

Oh, the one where you said, I'm just so swamped right now.

Natalie connected— somebody from our end wanted to connect with Ilya about Zila.

Yeah.

And Natalie connected them on email.

And then, and then Ilya responded to the email. I texted Ilya on the side, like, hey, just connected you with this guy, like, it's a mutual friend that we know. And Ilya responded to the email being like, hey, so swamped right now. Can we like connect in like later in February? And I was like, what are you possibly doing from now until later in February?

It's 5 days till the beginning of February.

Well, like on my priority list, that is like the lowest.

But it's a phone call.

Yeah, it's a 15-minute—

everything's a phone call.

Yeah, but does it—

you're not launching like a rocket to Mars.

Sometimes it feels like I am.

Really?

Yeah, obviously.

Clearly, that complicated where it feels like—

it's just like, it's— I know you guys don't understand. I really wish you did. And like, for a while, this is what you always say. No, listen, listen, for a long time, I really resent—

busiest man on the face of Earth.

For a long time, I really resented you guys, but then I just learned that you're just not as educated as me.

Oh my God, that's fucking dream.

And now I'm a grown-up and I've matured.

Ilya, would you say you're busier than Jeff Bezos?

Yeah.

No, no, no. What percentage of people do you think you're busier? Actually, that is— I feel like in your head you think you're busier than Jeff Bezos. Yeah.

I mean, listen, I've told you guys multiple times.

I think you're busier than Jeff Bezos.

No, I've told you.

Sure. Because if we're in private, this is what you'd say. You'd go, yeah, I'm busier than Jeff Bezos. Jeff has infrastructure and he's created all these all these people that work under him.

I don't have more chaos than most other people.

More chaos than Jeff Bezos?

Unorganized chaos, I'm saying. Unorganized chaos.

Bro, just because he has a thousand—

that doesn't allow me to— that doesn't allow me to do things.

Say it clearer so Jason can make fun of you. Stay clear. Go.

You have what, more chaos?

You have more unorganized chaos than Jeff Bezos?

Yeah, than a lot of people.

I mean, you know, Jeff Bezos, he's busy. He's busy. But I mean, you know, does he have to take the wrap off the Lamborghini today that MrBeast put on the Festivals, rap. Exactly. He doesn't have to do stuff like that. Does he have to train you, your dumbass?

Bottom line is, bottom line is that most people like his level have their shit figured out, and I don't. And that's simple as that.

I don't think so, bro. I think he's like—

hold on, I want to get Jay's opinion on this. This is brand new. Is this a little bit crazy what he's saying?

I mean, I'm prone to just to defend Ilya because I've been in Ilya's shoes so many times, but you're a fucking idiot. No, no, I— yeah, bro, push him off.

That's fine.

You don't want to make the call, don't make the call.

Well, I'm like, I get that.

I wish I was more like that. I wish— because I do, like, someone will want something and I want to please them, and I'm like, yeah, I'll do the call right now.

Did you just—

but are you understanding what this man is saying? He thinks he has—

but that wasn't— that wasn't like a crazy thing to say. Like, let's just do the call in 2 weeks. Like, why is that crazy?

Because 2 weeks is like ridiculous.

Yeah, but it also wasn't like something that was— like, he was trying to sell me on something.

Yeah, but like, you don't even know what it is.

But like, I do. Like, the, the point of the call, the email was like, let me provide you a service. And I'm like, I don't need anything right now.

Regardless, let's focus on the more chaos than Jeff Bezos. I think you're wrong there. I just think you don't manage your time wisely, that's all.

I've admitted that so many times, and like, for whatever reason, you guys just keep fucking bringing it up.

Where do you waste your time?

On everything. Just like, everything could be done more efficiently.

Is it just because you like— it's like hard for you to read?

Yeah.

What is it, genuinely? What is it? Is it like—

well, I think like I've been blessed with so many different opportunities. Which is amazing. The problem is I've already taken on a lot, so like I'm trying to dig my way out of that.

Right. And sorry if it sounds like we're angry at Ilya. We just had like—

I am. I am angry.

Yeah. I mean, we just, you know.

Yeah, I get it again. I get it from your side.

I know you get it, but I'm just saying.

I know you don't get it, which is fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. Part of it is also like Ilya. This is where our anger originally stems from. Ilya was CEO of Dobrik. Was also the CEO of Zilla. And first Dobrik's came, and there was a moment where Dobrik's was being built, and there was a lot of free time where Ilya was like, I can also start Zilla. And we were like, please, for the love of God, do not start another business. Do not do this. Like, once Dobrik's is firing, it's gonna be a lot of fucking work. And Ilya's like, no, no, I can do both. Trust me, I can do both. I can do both.

This build's taking a long time, man. I got a lot of time on my hands.

So he started and then at the same time it was impossible to run both of them. So either of them could not get the attention they needed. So now recently we have new people operating Doughbricks. We've just switched it over. So now Doughbricks could prosper on its own and now Ilia can give Zeela the attention that it needs. But for like a year it was Natalie and I screaming at Ilia being like, we fucking told you not to do both, you fuck.

But yeah, definitely. An expensive lesson.

But we figured it out now, which is whatever. And I mean, it's also obviously all of our faults, right? Like, I'm over here giving Ilya any business, any, like, that's in front of me because I want to hang out with him and he's my friend. So like, yeah, could I have found someone more equipped for Doughbrix? Maybe. But, but yeah, no, I'd rather work with my friends.

I just love to yell at him too much.

But yeah, I can't yell at a random person.

I appreciate you stepping up to the plate and admitting that, even though, like, I still take 99% of the fault. Well, that's really big of you to say.

Thank you, yes. I'll say it again, I'm an idiot for hiring Ilya. I'll say it all day.

We haven't raced our cars yet. We haven't driven like side by side.

Well, Jason took your—

I took both cars out the other day and I had my verdict. Yours got a 9.5.

Ilya has a brand new Lamborghini.

Yeah, go ahead.

You said yours got 9.5 and you pointed to me.

Yours did.

No, I know, but this is an audio podcast.

Yes, yes, I forgot. Can we do video? No, I I took the cars out the other day for a video to test both, and guess whose car I picked?

I watched the entire video.

Oh, you did?

Really? Y'all curious?

There's the time management. Jason's 25-minute video.

I watched it at 1.75, and I also skipped to the last part.

That's right.

That's funny.

Finally someone saw it. Uh, yeah, Dave, you got a 9.5 on the Ferrari.

It's amazing.

Ill walked in with a 9.4.

Yeah, well, it's tight.

And I thought for sure I would love the Ferrari way more. I was like, this is so stupid, I'm not gonna like the Lamborghini at all. Yeah, but I actually loved—

no, Lamborghini's amazing.

And what I said was, for one drive, yours is better, Ilya's is better. But to own and to like, totally have—

that's actually a good point. If you're gonna rent a car, yeah, like you're in LA for a day or whatever, for a week, definitely rent the Lamborghini. Guys, Taylor just got back. She was getting food and she texted me. She said, ugh, I just told someone I'm not single because I felt bad. I hate Erwan alone. So, so this, this is like a recurring thing. You get hit on at Erewhon?

I just don't like walking in there alone.

Wait, why?

Like, you either see someone you know or like kind of know, and then you have to like kind of avoid them.

Or—

wait, how did you get hit on? Because listen, because I think I was waiting for your buffalo cauliflower. Oh good, so you got it for a solid 10 minutes. Okay, and then what happened? What did the guy say?

Um, I think he probably like saw me get a cart because that's where he was standing. And also Jared Leto Remember?

Yeah.

Said hi to me when I was getting a cart once. I'm pretty sure.

Incredible.

If it wasn't him, then, you know, I'll still believe it's him.

Guy with hair. Okay, so what happened?

So then I was, I was waiting for the buffalo cauliflower and he came up and he said, I just wanted to let you know, I thought you were cute. And by chance, are you single? Before I asked for your number.

And I said, wow, that's very brave.

So brave.

You said, I am not.

I am not single.

No, I understand, but was he just not like your type? Yeah. Damn.

But I mean, yeah, it was bold.

And then what, he wasn't cute at all?

No, not— no.

Damn.

Like, even one bit?

No, no, no.

Really?

What was the line exactly? What did he say?

He, he said, I think you're really cute. Before I ask for your number, are you single?

Oh. That's a whole web. That's a terrible thing to say.

Wait, what? Why?

I don't think it's— I think it's a fine thing to say, but like, when you're packing that much confidence, like, like you could have done something else. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, where'd you get that? That what? That smile? I'm just kidding.

There's something easy way because then they can just say no.

Yeah, no, I think— okay, well, I've heard this before. I like going to Erewhon because I feel like that is where you find a girlfriend. But apparently you're not supposed to— apparently girls don't want to be hit on at the grocery store. Not hit on— hit on's the wrong, like, the wrong phrase. Approached at a grocery store. Is that true? Yeah, I mean, I'm like, where else would you approach anybody?

Well, like, out. That's when I want to be approached. If I'm like at the grocery store, if I'm like running errands, I'm like—

but meeting girls out is the worst.

Why?

Because grocery store, you could— everybody eats. I mean, I guess if it's like someone you're actually interested in. That's the place to find a normal person. Going out is like like 30% of people go out, it's, you know, and you're—

yeah, but you're not, you're not catching a girl looking at her best at the grocery store.

Is that even more of a compliment? Like, oh my God, you think I'm pretty? I'm in my sweatpants and I have no makeup on. Like, is that not like a compliment to the girl?

Yeah, I guess.

I, I, in my head I'm always like, grocery store, the place you approach somebody, like the place. And then some girl told me, some girl was like, I was talking to some girl, she's like, yeah, I was just at a grocery store and I was getting hit on. I fucking hate getting hit on a grocery store. Invite I was like, she just said this without being prompted, and my entire head went spinning backwards. Like, wait, you hate being hit on at a grocery store?

It just catches you off guard where I'm like, oh, like, it's like, oh, you know, I'm not ready for it. So I feel like I don't— like, I'm not my best in that moment.

Using the word hit on, sorry, like spoken to. You don't like anybody even coming on to you like softly? Like, no.

What are you doing? Yeah, what do you mean?

Not at the hot bar. Like, no.

Okay, it's like Everybody knows that is where all the hot people go.

Air One feels like the nightclub of grocery stores.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

What would you say if you saw a girl at Air One?

I wouldn't approach a girl.

Oh, okay.

Like, I'm just saying.

I do not approach the opposite sex.

Actually, no, I'm pretty talkative at Air One.

Give us something, give us some of your rap.

But I always wait for someone to say something first.

Okay.

So, I don't know, I can't really say.

You see the most beautiful, perfect girl you've ever seen, like she's awesome, you don't walk over there and say, "Hi, my name's David." She's got purple cauliflower.

I wouldn't say hello first.

You wouldn't?

No.

Oh, that's interesting.

I'm pretty scared.

So that actually goes with what you say, Nat.

But I have had good luck with girls saying something first.

Okay.

Then it's easy at a grocery store.

Okay, so—

Well, it's always easier when somebody approaches you first.

But that's what I'm saying. So why don't you like that at a grocery store? Why don't you like it? Why are you saying that you hate it?

They're just not hot enough?

Well, usually the people that are like so bold that they're like, just like, hey, what's your number? It's like the people that I don't really wanna talk to. Yeah, that's the thing. And like, the people that I do want to talk to are like not giving me the time of day, right?

Damn, we have to like start a Facebook group or something just for people.

Smoke signals in the air.

Just like— and like, there should be a certain time. There should be singles-only time at Erewhon. Like, you can only come in if you want to be hit on and you're single.

But that's like going to a dating event in general, and it's like kind of like everyone's like insecure about it.

It's less of a dating event. It's like, come get your groceries and come get a boo. Groceries? No, no, sorry.

I had this idea.

Everyone's marketing team, if you need any more tips.

I also like looked down in my cart and all I had was like a ton of meat. And I was like, I hope no one thinks this is all for me. It's always for you.

Wait, why is that?

Hungry girl.

Oh yeah. Cause I'm like, can you extra chicken please?

She eats a lot.

Now what was the idea you had?

It's kind of silly, but like after we did our pickleball tournament this summer here at the house, I was like, this should be like a singles thing that we do like every month where all the singles— and you pair a guy and a girl.

I mean, yes, that's a good idea, but it should be called Doubles for Singles. Oh, I love that!

Oh my God, did we just start something?

How good is that? Doubles for Singles is amazing.

It's really good.

And it's like no pressure, like you can just like come on, have fun, flirt with your partner. But you have to— like, I thought it'd be fun too if you brought somebody— like you have to bring some of the opposite sex that's also single. So like you're bringing You know, you're like really getting the mix on. And if you're doing it with friends, like, I feel like you're in an environment where you're comfortable.

Like a gangbang?

Like, uh, no, no, like, like the invite is to like friends and people that we know.

Where'd you go there, Dave?

Do you want to come for doubles, singles on Thursday, or just Saturday pickleball?

This summer we should do it. I'll do it. I'll coordinate it.

Okay.

Okay. I got a DM. Someone needs our help.

What's going on?

Hey, I have a question for you and David for the podcast. Okay. So there's a girl I'm talking to and I like her and she says she likes me but doesn't spend time with me.

Spends all her time playing video games with her guy friends. I love this one. This is the one I favorited.

Keep reading it. And drops everything to spend time— she spends all her time playing video games with her guy friends and drops everything to spend time with her, but she doesn't do the same She is also super rude to me sometimes for the smallest things.

Okay, this is an easy fix.

Okay, go.

Fuck this girl. Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's so easy. I— this is my like cardinal rule, and I hate living by it. I've said cardinal twice now. I never say that really. Um, and it's if like someone wants to make time for you, they will. Like point blank period. It's like— and it's like kind of the worst thing because There's a lot of times where like I have to tell myself that, and it's like really disappointing. I'm like, fuck, like this person actually doesn't really care to hang out. It'd be very clear.

I think that I, you know, I didn't learn this, I was very late in life, but I— the way I won Naveen over was begging. No. Oh no, no, my friend. And this is— I think this is solid advice for any guy out there. If you love somebody, if you're like in love with a girl, right? You're in love with her. You're like, oh my god, well, I'll do anything to be with this girl. That's how I felt about Naveen, right?

Okay.

What you need to do is literally play it so freaking fucking cool and wait her out and let her come to you. That is how it needs to be done. 100%. 100%.

I don't know, Jay.

Yes.

Well, I think, I think given some context, like you had already pursued previously, so she was aware that you were interested.

Yes.

And she had to like—

yeah, yeah, I think it's very specific.

Yeah, but I'm telling like, but don't, don't, don't try to go after this girl. But, but I also wasted time.

I also don't like people— one thing I hate is people that put like play it cool. I'm not saying you're like trying to play it cool.

You have to play it cool.

Oh, you are trying to play it cool.

I have to play it cool.

I—

if a guy is playing it cool with me, I literally just won't respond.

If a guy's— yeah, if Girl's playing cool with me? Go fuck yourself. How old are we, 14?

No, you make it known. You make it known. I really would love to date you. And then that's it. And that's the offer. And then if she doesn't come, because if she doesn't come then, or maybe she'll come in 3 months, or maybe she'll come in 6 months, but that's it.

Yeah, but if the offer's on the table, that's different.

Yeah, yeah, you make the offer.

That's it.

And that's what he needs to do.

Yeah, okay. I definitely see that.

Yeah.

100%. Okay, that makes sense. But I do think like, like, I believe in like, if you like want to talk to somebody, you should tell them how you feel. And if they're, if they're like playing games with you, I think it's such a fucking waste of time. Yes, I hate that. Like, I think that's like so dead, like playing it cool, waiting to respond. I think the faster you respond, if you respond in milliseconds, I will never be like, this girl's fucking weird. Like, I'll never ever say that. I'll have like like if you're the one that's like pursuing the conversation.

Like if I just— if I like, from my perspective, if I just reached out to someone and was like being really eager and like over the top, I feel like that's a turn-off. Like if you're too much.

Yeah, I'm not saying like triple text somebody. No, no, I'm saying like you're having a conversation and you're like getting back to them like timely manner, you're making plans and you're like not bailing on things. I also hate people that bail. I think that's so crazy.

Yeah, they're like, have you ever bailed on anybody? Um, when you were vlogging?

What do you mean?

Like, there must have been a time when you were like, you made a plan but your work took over.

Maybe like I bailed on one bit for another bit, but like, I never—

no, no, I mean bailing on a girl.

Yeah, no, no, not to change topics here really quickly, Jay, but I also have another serious question. Yeah, first of all, I got the funniest fucking DM the other day. I said this to Natalie. This is probably the best DM I've gotten this week. You know how we were talking about swinging, like Yeah. So this girl DMs me, how are you going to act like you are fine with swinging but then also have to fly out of the state when you— when your ex had to kiss someone for acting? What? It's really funny. You don't remember that?

No.

When I was dating my only girlfriend I've ever had, she had to kiss someone.

Yeah.

In like in her show, and it stressed me out so much I had to go and fly to my hometown to be with my hometown friends.

I don't remember that. Is that— I actually, I do think I do remember that.

That's really funny.

That's crazy. Yeah, yeah, you do too. Yeah, you're way off. You talk a big game. You're super, uh, possessive.

I'm not. No, no, no, no.

Or maybe you were.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're not— you're not like that anymore.

I mean, how is he supposed to know?

Well, I don't know.

Yeah. Um, I don't know if I'm good at sex. I've never had it. I could be great. No one will put me in.

No, no, no, no, no. Um, no, but I also think it's like— I don't know.

No.

Yeah, I'm kind of 50/50 on the whole swinging thing. What was my stance on swinging the other day?

I think you just like, you just honestly—

I just talk shit out my ass.

Yeah, you were just talking out your ass the other day.

You love to just like fill the void with words and you'll just, you'll say the most random, bizarre, crazy stuff that doesn't make any sense, is not applicable to swinging.

I would totally swing with my wife.

Okay. Yeah. Why don't you fucking find her first?

If your wife wanted to go naked to the Grammys, what would you do? Like, let's say you get invited.

So different. What do you mean?

I don't know, I just think it's musical.

It's music's biggest night. How can I ever ruin it? Um, no, no, I don't know.

I'd let Naveen do it.

Dude, you were just out there talking. You would— you would— fucking Mr. Possessive. You are the most jealous. You are so jealous. You fucking little pussy.

No, no.

Yeah, you are.

She—

if she wanted to do it, I wouldn't stand in her way.

You would—

I don't think so.

No, you're so jealous. Maybe.

When have I been jealous? When have you seen me be jealous?

Well, I don't have a specific example.

Oh, well, like the bachelor party in Vegas. She wanted to go to the strip club.

Oh my God, yes.

It was so weird. Yeah, she wanted to go watch Magic Mike or whatever. And Jay was like, maybe you shouldn't go.

No, no, no, no, it's not about that.

It's not about that.

They're strippers, chill.

No, no, it's not about that. It's about it's more fun to be with her. I don't care if she goes and looks at Magic Mike.

Yeah, you said this. I didn't believe it.

Oh no, it's 100% true.

But what does that mean?

Like, why would I— why would I lose— we were there for 36 hours. Why would I lose 4 of the hours that I could be with her having fun?

Because she wants to see Magic Mike, bro. I was Team Magic Mike as well.

Just did. Just wanted to see Magic Mike.

Okay, I don't know, Jay.

I mean, I, I think I'm pretty good. I, I mean, I get jealous, but I don't think I'm like crazy. I think you get way more jealous. Oh yeah, yeah.

Um, no, I don't know. I definitely get jealous. I just haven't been like— I haven't been presented the opportunity to be jealous in a long time. But I still stand by the swinging. I think down the road I'll be down. Okay, so if my future wife is listening to this podcast, if she's listening back to the clips, I'll keep you guys updated on if this actually comes to fruition for David.

Please, please just contact him already so he can get with somebody.

How about like when Naveen comes over and then you guys rush out?

Well, that, that's like— that's about like conserving your guys's time. Like, I don't— I never know. Like, you guys are always on to the next thing after we do this.

Are we?

Yeah, you're always like, come on now, we gotta go, gotta work out. I mean, I'd like to hang out with Dave more. We hung out on Friday. It was pretty, pretty bad.

What do you mean it was pretty bad? You had a bad time getting Greek yogurt with me?

No, I had a good time.

How do you just drop that and then just—

I had a good time. I just thought, like, you didn't seem like you were in a good mood.

What?

You just seemed like you were annoyed.

Did you just make things up in your—

maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. Maybe I made it up. It's tough, man. It's tough to come over and hang out.

I'm always in a good mood. What? Wait, why'd you do that? Am I not— am I not always in a good mood?

Don't get me— obviously not. Are you crazy? It's— it's— this is insane. This comment that you make all the time for like the past 7 years, he always tells me.

Wait, wait, I'm not always in a good mood? What the fuck's going on?

No, dude. He always tells me, he's like, I wake up in the best mood and then you come and you turn me into the worst mood. I'm like, dude, you roll out of bed like the fucking Kraken sometimes.

Oh yeah, that's a different thing. 'Cause like, I think when I'm in a really good mood, you take it as annoying. You're like, we're in this kind of a mood.

Well, because you do think so, right?

My best mood is when I'm like fucking yelling and I'm like, fuck this shit. This is dumb. Like, that's my best mood.

Yeah, that's, and that comes off as super, super fucking awful for everyone else. Oh. You walk in and you're like, hey Jay, you stupid slut, what the fuck's going on? That's a good mood to you and everybody else is like, what's wrong with Jay?

Oh, I have no idea that's how you guys perceived it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't anymore, but I'm sure some people do.

No, I don't think— Natalie? Well, I guess you guys do if you guys are saying I'm in bad moods.

You definitely get in bad moods, but the thing is, the thing is—

But you're not referring to what Jayce is saying at the moment.

No, no, no. When you say stupid things, it doesn't bother me, but—

Good, 'cause if my words hurt you guys, you have to speak up.

Oh, I do. I have no problem.

Not you. I don't care about you.

No, but what you do, and I think that you like almost trick yourself that you weren't in a bad mood because then you'll like 180 flip it and you'll be like, oh, it doesn't matter anymore. But you've already pissed everybody else off around you.

That is kind of fun.

Yeah. And then everyone else is fucked up.

Say it again. So I'm in a bad mood and then I project it onto somebody else.

Yes.

And then I— and then you shed myself of it.

Yes. You just—

I put the stress onto somebody else. Wow, I do do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you just walk away all happy or whatever, and you just—

Interesting. Actually, it's not that fucked up. I've thought about it more, and I do it on purpose. Well, no, I do do it on purpose, but like, yeah.

Okay, I'll be 100% honest.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you push Natalie's buttons?

What the fuck? What do you mean?

Like, do you?

Obviously.

And like, okay, so you do.

Yeah.

So you push her buttons to try to get her riled up purposely to start shit.

Well, yeah, of course. Oh, okay.

Well, it's not a good thing. I don't know why you're sitting over there acting like that. I mean, I'm being quiet because, yeah, I know the answer to that too.

Okay. I was like, why isn't Natalie speaking up here?

Oh, because I just like—

Let your voice be heard. Speak up.

Yes, obviously there are times, but she does the same fucking shit back. Back. There's this really good clip.

No, she only does it to defend herself.

Yes.

No, she doesn't.

You do it.

No, she doesn't.

Okay, you're telling me Natalie will come in and be like, hey, you little twerp, what the fuck's going on?

Obviously she doesn't take the method I do. She has a different power.

What would she— what does she do?

Subtle bitchiness. She like, she'll do it really secretly under the rug. You won't even know you're getting hit by it because I'm probably not even doing it inside your asshole. No, genuinely.

Give me an example.

I mean, It's, it's, it's— she just like peppers in like these fucking like little moody comments and they slowly break you down.

You know what would be a good idea? The three of us go to do ayahuasca.

No, I don't want to do that because if I see Natalie Diaries, I'm gonna fucking— no, it'll ruin it. It'll send me into bad trip. No, if I— yeah, if I see shit drip down Natalie's pants, I'm, I'm telling you, my entire life will change.

Why?

Because it's just gonna send me into like this like What's the big deal?

It's diarrhea.

Who cares?

Oh, no, please.

I mean, I don't want to have him watch me have diarrhea either, to be honest.

Jay, do you want to go just to see Natalie?

You got me.

No, but back to what we were saying, like, we've all been friends. Like, this isn't just me and Natalie. It's me, John, Alex, and Ilya. Someone was saying, love the pod. Happy you guys are back. Literally every episode makes me crack up. Hell yeah. Thank you. Shout out to you. I do have a problem, though. I have a huge crush on a guy I work with remote, and we are both going to be at the same conference in a couple weeks. Do I make a move? This sounds so fucking exciting. I'm like, I'm already putting it out there. It's gonna be so fun for you. Not really sure how to approach this. I'm not usually forward with guys and I'm super inexperienced, so I get really nervous. Help a girl out, please. You have to send him nudes leading up to the conference, right, Nat?

Mm-hmm.

Really?

I'm so sorry, what did you say?

I just said that because I saw you were on your phone.

Got him!

No, all jokes aside, I mean, yeah, you should definitely make a move. That's like so— isn't that like where you're like really supposed to meet people? Yeah, like at conferences.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

Is that the place to meet somebody?

So like, they don't—

what's the most popular place to meet?

Barnes Noble.

Oh yeah, for sure. But what's number 2? Costco? What's— no, what is— what is the top place to meet somebody other than like dating apps?

A bar. A bar?

Yeah, really?

Of course. Yeah, because you're drunk, you have alcohol in on you.

Oh, I thought a bar was like, like not the place to be. No, because doesn't everybody say you can't find love at a club?

Oh, I mean, I guess.

Yeah, but they meet, everything goes wrong.

I'm not saying for like a hookup, I'm saying like for like a lifelong partner. I think like work conferences are the ways to go, right?

How would you make the move? Um, I mean, wait, would you do it first night, second night? Let's say the conference starts on Friday, you get in, you check in, first night First night, Friday night, 100%. There's a little mixer downstairs.

Yeah, you have to like, you have to plant the seed early.

What do you say?

You say, you just play them this clip of the podcast. You go, this is me that sent this in, by the way, and can we have sex? That's it. I'll ask for you. What would you do that? Shannon, Shannon's friend. Can Shannon hook up with you at this conference, please? There you go.

That's it.

Amazing.

Yeah.

Damn.

Well, what if work gets in the way?

I don't know, Jay. He's done.

Yeah, guys, you've officially experienced David being talked out after 32 minutes. I mean, we're lucky we got him for the 32. I want to thank him.

That's really funny for the 32, because that was like a pretty good way to end the pod. Yeah, just you asking me a question, me going, not sure. That's it. Bye. All right guys, I think that's all the time we have for today's podcast. This was a very special podcast. I'm glad we got to— we got to talking about a lot. Yeah. And we did it hungover. Natalie's fresh off vacation. She's going to be hard at work this week, so I think we're all in good spirits.

And we barely scratched the surface, really.

So we have so much more to talk about.

Everybody vote below if Saturday and Sunday are considered weekends where people aren't working Okay, Monday at 3.

Everybody vote below.

When you commit it Monday at 3 o'clock, that's a different story.

So everybody vote below that Natalie makes $1 million a year and her job isn't necessarily conventional. Yeah. Okay, that's it. That's all the time we have for today. We'll see you guys soon.