David and Natalie Discuss their Relationship

Hello to the world.

What's up, guys? Welcome back to Views. We're not going to get anywhere, guys. Jason is out of town, so Natalie's taking over as co-host today. This is a special podcast. Natalie and I are going to talk about our feelings. We're going to talk about relationships. We're going to be talking about the importance of friendship. Just a whole lot of shit. So roll the intro music and let's get going.

Yeah.

Give yourself a little introduction for people that don't watch the vlog.

All right, my name is Natalie. Um, Instagram's NatalieNoWell if you want to check me out sometimes. I'm just kidding. Okay, hi guys. Um, my name is Natalie. I am David's best friend for life. Um, and she's my assistant and his assistant.

Every time I introduce Natalie as my assistant, she like gives me like a dirty look. Like she's not my assistant. Yeah. Like you give me— like when I introduce you as my assistant to like random people that we meet, you'll give me a look like, what the fuck?

That's not true. I'm your best friend. That's not true at all.

Yeah, it is.

I used to do that when I first started working because it was a very weird thing for me to be an employee because I was always superior to you. So to be— to not be superior was just a little bit weird.

How are you superior to me?

What do you mean? In every way possible.

Who was cooler in high school, me or you?

We talk about this way too much and you know the answer.

I know. I just wanted you to sound cocky. It was me. Yeah. Well, well, you are my assistant. Let's just, let's just begin there.

I'm great with that.

Natalie does this thing where, where I'll like, sometimes I'll be like, sometimes I'll say things to her and she'll be like, you can't say stuff like that to me. I'm your employee. And then other times, other times she'll like, she's like, she's not getting what she wants and she'll be like, um, David, I'm not just your employee. I'm your friend. So she like, she like works both ways. Okay, well, it's true, you've done that so many times.

I have, but that's just one of the things. That's just our— that's just the way our relationship is, you know?

Yeah, yeah, cookie crumbles, right? Cookie. All she can think about is snacks.

That's right, all metaphors relate to food.

That's the way the Oreo milkshake that I just ordered crumbles.

I wish.

Here's our other— here's our other assistant, Taylor. Soon to be fired because she couldn't help me with the TikTok today. This is like a laid-back podcast, guys. Jeff just goes, oh my God, you guys are actually recording.

This is real. This is 100%.

Well, it's crazy because now you— now I can see the importance of Jason. Maybe we shouldn't have the 70/30 split.

It's going to be a little funky, but we're going to keep it a little fresh. We're just trying to mix things up. I'm trying to like steal Jason's job over here. How's your day been going, Dave? I know it's been a really tough one. Do we want to just hash it out and talk about our feelings? We can. We can do some— we can do some girly things. You can open up and talk about stuff that we don't usually talk about with Jason because it's so manly, masculine.

Yeah, let's talk about girly things.

Okay, just girly things.

Um, today Natalie posted on Instagram stories saying she's looking for a trainer. DM me. Oh my God, which we all know what that means. DM me, I'm looking for a hot buff man. Jeff said he got that message to him a thousand times.

That's Funny.

What did you mean by that? What are you— what are you hoping for, an actual trainer or like a hot guy? Be 100% honest right now.

Who do you think— you know who I am. I was— I want to just get into shape. I just want to be healthy.

You can't even say it.

Jeff was like, yeah, you want to work out with me every day?

And I was like, uh, um, I don't know. That seems like a pretty—

wait, it was when you DM me. I didn't like interpret it like that. I thought you— I thought you were like saying that, oh, you're trying to get a trainer so you can get into shape so that you can get hot guys.

Oh no.

See, that's the way my brain works. My brain is—

Oh wow, you thought I was like calling you fat.

You thought—

you thought— because I DM'd Natalie, I was like, oh, Natalie's trying to get something, and I put eggplant emojis. And I guess Natalie, you thought— you, you thought that you were too fat so you needed a trainer? What?

Well, I— no, I don't think I'm fat.

Yeah, but what did you— what was your thought process?

I thought you thought I was trying to get hot so that people would like me or something.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, I meant it in a way where You're not actually looking for a trainer. You just want like hot buff guys to DM you.

That's really funny.

No, we just got back from Miami. We were—

yeah, I got this. Don't worry about it, I'll set it up. Okay, so guys, we just got back from this awesome trip from Miami. It was honestly like probably one of the best, most lavish trips that I've ever been on.

Sure.

Um, we had a private jet that picked us up in LA. We stopped in Chicago, went to Miami.

Natalie actually used to go on a lot of private jets. She used to— you used to nanny for somebody.

Yeah, I used to in college— throughout college I used to nanny for this super wealthy like venture capitalist family. They actually, um, they like, they started Blockbuster Video. They were like the original founders in there. RIP to Blockbuster. Yeah.

Um, so they would fly— how many times have you been on a private jet before?

At least twice a month in college.

Oh, are you serious?

Yeah.

Oh, that often?

Yeah.

Like, and they were like nice private jets, right?

It's theirs. They owned it.

So this is like really nice.

Yeah, it was small though, because there's only 4 of us. So like, it was like, it was like an 8-person jet.

Wow.

Smaller than the one that we were on.

That's crazy.

Yeah. But everywhere we went, we would go like, we would go to Michigan. We'd literally go across Lake Michigan and just go to their Michigan house and we'd take a private jet for like half an hour.

Did you get paid well?

Yeah, so well.

Better than here?

Yeah, way better than here.

Nice.

Actually, though, on the low, um, but my hours weren't as consistent.

Of course.

So, but yeah, that was cool.

Here they're very consistent.

Here they are.

24 hours a day. I don't stop working. The most consistent hours. 24 hours, unless you subtract when Natalie's sleeping or eating or watching a rom-com. So she works 3 hours a day.

I wish I could get— I wish I could watch more movies. That's like one thing that I used to do a lot was watch lots of TV and movies.

I think you watch a lot of movies.

I don't watch any movies.

Yeah, I think you watch a good amount.

You watch a movie every single night.

So that's how I fall asleep.

So I decided to watch one of your interviews that popped up on the trending page the other day.

Sure.

Where you take a girl— or it was a blind date.

It was a blind date. Yeah, it was someone who watches, a fan of our videos. Yeah. Um, and yeah, she didn't know I was on the other side. Yeah.

So I decided to watch it, and they were kind of interviewing her, uh, to ask just what are your thoughts about David? And she goes, it's just really cool that someone like David could bring a bunch of people with nothing, just no platforms, together and just make something happen. I was like, David DM'd us on Vine.

That's so funny. Yeah, there was a— this girl's getting interviewed, and basically, basically, I think she misspoke. I don't think that's how—

she definitely misspoke, but I'm just—

but she made it sound like I pulled Zane out of like the trash bin. It's amazing how David found him in a dumpster and then found Heath crawling under a bridge.

Do you think they laughed at that part? They're like, keep it in, it's funny. Or do you think they didn't even realize?

I'm surprised they kept that in. That was funny.

Really? Was that bad?

Made me look pretty cool though.

I just thought it was funny. I didn't take offense to it at all. I just thought it was really funny.

Really?

Because you brought it up just now, like for the fourth time I've seen you.

Because it was funny.

It sounds like you have a personal problem.

Did you tell her to say that? Was this something after we were like, yo, yo, say this?

No, I didn't. That was just from her watching the videos. That's just the impression she got from you.

Just from nothing.

The impression she got from Zane was, hmm, that guy has nothing.

All he has is alcoholism.

No, that's not what she meant. She just meant that we're a fun friend group. Okay, so guys, I went on Instagram and I asked a bunch of people to ask Natalie and I questions for this podcast. Now you want to go through some?

Yeah, let's do it.

Guys, this isn't a regular podcast. It's going to be kind of like a Q&A podcast because Jason's out of town. So if you don't want to listen to this, tune out. And if you want to hear some questions and us answering them, then keep listening.

But keep listening because it's going to be really great and super interesting.

Really? Because Dylan Francis asked one of the first questions is, you want to fuck? So I don't know how interesting this is going to be. Okay, someone else asked, what is your go-to meal, Natalie?

Um, like my favorite meal? Yeah, definitely mac and cheese.

Oh, you love mac and cheese.

I do love mac and cheese.

Someone also was asking, someone was asking How are you— how do you hang out with such a cute guy and not catch feelings all the time?

Oh my God, that's funny. I think somebody actually asked me, they're like, how do you— how does David hang out with such a cute girl that's so hot and super awesome?

I can definitely answer that. She has the worst gas. She has the worst gas. I mean, I have never seen it. You know, like she hiccups a lot.

People are gonna think that—

When she hiccups, at the same time she's farting.

This makes me look really terrible.

It's the truth. Do you fart when you hiccup?

Yes, every single time.

See? So she makes the hiccup noise with her mouth to cover up the— that's coming out of her bottom.

I've never really thought about it like that. Usually people think my hiccups are pretty cute.

What do you— what do you do? What do you— what do you do for fun that's non-work related?

I don't think I have anything that I do in my leisure time that's not work related anymore.

Really? Why are you looking at me when you say that?

I want you to know how sad and dark and lonely my life is. Just kidding. Um, what do I do in my free time?

Psych.

What do I do in my free time? I really don't like do much because we're all friends. So it's like, you know, we spend a lot of time together doing friend stuff and just hanging out.

Is it hard being your best friend's assistant?

Yes. Even in this moment, I want to fucking smash your face in.

What happened? You're making it sound like we just cut a question out that offended you.

For me personally, no, not that hard.

For me personally, I don't consider him my best friend.

That is one of the factors. No, it's not that difficult, honestly. I feel like we get through it.

Yeah, I think it's pretty fucking tough. Um, it wasn't— it wasn't till— it, it wasn't— it wasn't until recently I realized, hey, friendship and work don't mix sometimes the best, you know?

Sure.

Yeah, because this— it's, it's, it's tough. Taylor and I— Taylor's our new assistant. And we were never friends before. It's just kind of like a work relationship we have. We're friends now, but it just feels totally different. Taylor, our newest assistant, is also here. Would you consider us your friends, or are we your coworkers?

Well, I think that the amount of time we all spend together for work, it's hard because like, I feel like I'm from an outsider's perspective. So I like watch you two and I'm like, yeah, it's hard. Being friends and being business.

Well, yes or no, Taylor, do you consider yourself our friend?

I don't know.

My answer is— I'll make it easier. I consider you our friend. Oh, she starts crying.

If you, um—

but you know what I mean, like, well, do you consider us your friends?

Do you consider us your friend?

Yeah.

You're fired. This is strictly business and you've crossed the line. That's it. Natalie, tell her to pack her bags.

Um, I mean, I can say that when I first started, I didn't consider anybody my friend because I didn't talk to anybody. Like, I just kind of mind my own business. I didn't hang out with anybody. I didn't talk to anybody. I just showed up to Bellingham every day.

Natalie, someone's asking what my relationship is like with you off camera. How would you best describe it?

Um, I think that on camera David pretends that he is super nice to me and loves me, and then off camera he's actually just A dick.

Okay, right on. You happy with that? You happy with making me feel—

Oh, don't even bring out the fucking waterworks.

At least turning into her mother. Soon she's gonna be tripping on acid in the middle of Colorado.

My mom does not do that. You're turning into your father.

Yeah, what's that?

An asshole. Your father sucks.

My dad listens to this podcast.

I love you, Paula.

I was kidding about Natalie's mom. She does not— does not trip on acid in the middle of Colorado.

She doesn't. Why are you looking at me like that?

Doesn't she?

No, she does not at all. She has an RV. That doesn't mean she does drugs in the desert.

No, but your mom's like that. Like, your mom's like one with nature. So, like, I would assume she—

I mean, she's a very spiritually connected woman.

Yeah, but like, when she goes to Yellowstone, does she do mushrooms?

First of all, she's never been to Yellowstone. My mom might smoke pot or like some— do some CBD oil or something from time to time, but like, that's it. Like, she's not like tripping and burning her brain to shreds every day.

Someone just said, is Natalie nice in person?

Can I answer that? Um, fuck no.

Fuck no.

She's awful.

All right, you said that this weekend on stage at one of the shows. Somebody asked like, what is everybody like off camera?

Yeah.

Like, what are their personality traits off camera? And you just goes, yeah, well, Natalie, she has like this really sassy attitude off camera that most of you don't get to see or whatever. And I was like sitting in the back. I was like, oh, okay, let's see how it is.

Is it annoying when people ship you guys together?

I don't think it's annoying.

Yeah, I don't think it's annoying.

All right. You guys juice the fuck out of it.

Well, here's the thing.

Here's the fuck out of here.

Like, like we did the Iron Man costume thing, right? Which was obviously like, it was like the cutest thing you could do because it's like an assistant. And then like Iron Man falls in love with his assistant. And then people were accusing us of ship baiting. Explain to me what ship baiting means, Zane, because that's what people— that's what people— that's what people accuse Natalie and I of doing.

When you put your arms around her at an airport and kiss her for fan stories, that's ship baiting.

I've never done that.

No, it's people. People are projecting their own like desires and opinions.

Yeah, how can you— like, how is ship baiting a thing? No, like, like, be serious for a second because it makes no no sense to me. Carly, you think it's a thing?

I'm completely kidding. Like, you guys aren't shipping at all. I'm just—

no, no, no, I'm saying if we were shipbaiting, I think what they're saying is they're so invested and they like want it to happen, and they think that you're making it up to please them.

Oh, but it's not real. Is that rude?

I mean, it's just— it's your own opinion.

Is it rude to play into like Natalie and I dating, or like Jeff and Natalie dating? Like, how does that mean?

No, I don't think that's rude. I think people are just really invested, so it's like their own feelings. I also think it's crazy, like I feel like, like, I get shipped to a lot of people in our friend group, and I feel like I get shit for it sometimes. Like, people are like, oh, she's playing it up, or she's trying to— but like, that's just like our genuine friendship is like. And I feel like everybody has that in their friend group where like you're just like close with each other and you like flirt with one another just like out of like— there's no harm, no foul.

Yeah, like, like off camera, like, it'll be like, like right now Natalie and I, like, I literally cuddled Natalie for like 5 seconds pretending that I was dating her. And about 30 minutes ago I did that to Carly.

Or like when Natalie, which will like kiss me sometimes.

Yeah, for sure.

It's, you know, it's just like we're friends, guys.

Stop shitbaiting. We're all shitbaiting all day. We're all cuddling each other. It's disgusting.

No, it's true. You guys do that like on your own. Any— like, I'm a witness.

Whoa, a little more confident about that.

No, not in a bad way.

Natalie, where's that NDA that we made Taylor sign?

You guys do this in front of Taylor?

I just said the same thing.

Taylor breaking the NDA right in front of us, I see. So what's the tea? What's each other's best qualities? Let's get serious. Okay, um, okay, I'll tell you your best quality. You're like— why it's so good to work with you is because you're that— you're the other half of me when it comes like in terms of business. Like, I don't care to take anything seriously, and that's all you care to take is things seriously.

I am not fun. I am only serious businesswoman.

No, it's not— I didn't mean it in that way, but like, you know what I mean? Like, you're like— you're def— you're definitely like the more like authoritative, responsible side of you. This is going to sound so much worse. Like, I'm like the cool parent.

I'm so mean. I've always wanted to be the cool parent. That was like my lifelong goal.

No, you would be the cool parent, but you'd be the cool parent with like boundaries. I would just be like, go ahead, kids, go do shrooms at the park, go jump off a cliff. Yeah, but you'd be like, you'd be like, do the shrooms at home where I can keep my eyes on you. So you'd still be cool, but like not to a crazy extent. That's my— that's my favorite quality about you.

Okay.

You guys are so cute.

Thank you, Zane.

Thanks.

Dima's like, the mics aren't even on.

The plug is just not on the wall.

All right, Madeline, what's your favorite quality about me?

My favorite quality about Dave It is—

well, I don't know how you came up with something so quickly.

I'm sorry, I'm assuming there's too many things to choose from, right?

There's too many things to choose from. Um, probably my favorite quality, um, is probably like your passion and desire for what you want to get done. Like, if you want to do something, like, you're very determined to get it done. Only if you're passionate about it. If you're not passionate about it, then you don't give a shit, which is like the other side.

But do you hate that, I don't give a shit, or do you like that?

Um, I mean, it can be really frustrating sometimes because I'm the messenger in a lot of situations where like if you don't give a shit, then people think that I'm not giving a shit because I'm not making you give a shit.

Oh yeah, like that. Like if I don't want to work with a certain brand and I'm not like responding to them, then Natalie will be the one that has to answer those emails and go, hey, we can't do it, and then they're mad at Natalie because they're not actually communicating with me. Is that what you mean?

Right.

Yeah. Okay, that makes sense.

Yeah.

I want to keep this podcast fresh, so I'm going to mix up the questions a little bit. What annoys you about each other? Uh, you answer this one in 2 seconds.

I feel like it's easier to think of negatives. Um, what annoys me? Um, your time management really pisses me off.

Okay.

And recently— no, this has been an ongoing thing since we were 10 years old. Um, your time management. And sometimes, if I'm gonna be totally honest here—

that's okay, because I'm gonna be honest too.

Okay. You're like— one of my biggest pet peeves in life out of anybody is like, is immaturity.

Oh my fucking God. And, you know, that's what pays the bills. It's my immaturity.

No, I know, I know. But not even that. Like, it's not— it's not like a— it's not like, oh, I'm cute little David Dobrik immaturity. Like, I'm a young, innocent little guy being an idiot. Yeah. Being just like, yeah, just being stupid.

Okay, my turn.

I didn't get to finish. I was— I could have gone on and on about, you know, the different things that—

oh, you want to do another one?

No, I'm just kidding.

What annoys me about you Um, I hate— this is I hate— you are always so mean to me when you're drunk.

What?

Yeah, always.

I feel like I don't talk to you when I'm drunk.

No, you're always— you're, you're always so sassy when you're drunk. Always. I've never, I've never had a conversation with you while you've been drunk where everyone's like, ah, Natalie's cool. Every time you're drunk, I'm like, man, what did I do?

What did I do? That's so funny.

I wanted—

probably because I have so many, like, throughout the day we go out so late, so much built-up shit. Yeah, so much built-up shit, and then we go out at night and it just all kind of like comes out because it's all pent up during the day.

Makes sense.

Yeah.

Am I nice to you? Yeah, I'm nice when I'm drunk. I'm not really drunk. What was the best part about Vernon Hills?

Friends.

Like, it's got boring.

I'm your friend now.

Thanks, Taylor.

Thank you.

If I can be.

If I can be. Taylor, you're fired again.

Um, no, I mean, like, well, it's just different, like, because we have such a great friend group now here, genuinely. But there's something so different and humbling about, like, our hometown.

Sure, it's the kids you grew up with. Sure, you went through everything together.

Yeah.

Do you think you'd be able to last a day in my shoes? And would I be able to last a day in your shoes?

Like, doing it exactly in our shoes? Like, you have to work for me and I have to work for you?

Yeah. Like, would you be able to be the vlogger and I'd be the assistant for the week?

I don't think I could vlog like you for sure. Definitely not. I'm not extroverted enough to do what you do. Like, you insert yourself into situations that are like uncomfortable where I would just not— I would just shy away from.

I think I'd kill it as my assistant.

I mean, well, yeah, you do know yourself pretty well. That would make sense.

No, I know that was just—

you just read your own mind.

That was like a trick question.

That's— oh, that's another pet peeve of mine. Sometimes you just say things in your head and you're like, why didn't you do it? And I'm like, you never, you never spoke it out loud, you know? Like, I can't read your mind.

That makes sense.

Can I say one?

Yeah, go, Taylor.

Okay. Something that's annoying about you is how—

wait, wait, this is 3 questions back.

Taylor, what the fuck is going on?

Wait, why? What just happened?

Taylor, we were talking about our favorite player in Mario Kart.

Oh my God.

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Think about whatever you're about to say. Just think about it.

It's annoying how many things you're good at.

Oh, I knew it! You know what you just did?

What?

You just, you just, you just did a, you just did a cliché, like, job interview question. Yeah, when they go, when they go, what are your weaknesses? And you're like, for job interviews, you say like, I can't say no to things, or like, I always want to get things done no matter what, and I really don't get to sleep much. I'm such a perfectionist. Like, that's the, that's the answer you just gave, is you're too good at everything.

That's really funny.

You got the job, you're hired again, Taylor.

He's not too good at everything, he's just good at some things that get a lot of attention.

The race car game.

He used to game. That's all he did. He didn't do anything except—

I'm good at a lot of things. Why don't— why can't you—

you're good at gaming and vlogging and conversing.

I'm good at a lot of other things.

Like what?

I'm good at tennis, ping pong, basketball. I'm all right.

But like, still, like, you're good at a lot of things too, Nat.

Yeah, no, go for it.

Yeah, listen, um, eating egg rolls. How many times have you genuinely thought about quitting your job here? Oh, how many times have you been like, I don't want to do this, 100%, like genuine?

Let me ask you this first. How many times do you think I have thought of—

you should ask me how many times I've genuinely thought about firing you.

We get to that later.

Okay, how many times have you genuinely thought you've been wanting to quit your job? Yeah, maybe twice.

Interesting.

What is it?

Um, I would say things have been pretty good lately.

Sure.

But wonder why.

I'm just kidding.

No, Taylor definitely has a lot to do with that. But even— I'm just saying, like, in the last, like, 6 months.

I agree. I agree.

You agree with what? That things have been better in the last 6 months?

Yeah, that things have been better in the last 6 months.

Um, but there was, like, the 6 months before the last 6 months where I literally, like—

How many times did you think about quitting?

I mean, like, at least— I don't want to put a number, like, probably like at least 8 times.

Wow. I would say the amount of times I've wanted to fire you. Yeah, but they were like, they were like super— like, I would have the thought for like 6 hours.

Wow, that's a long time.

It's not that long. It's not that long. It's like 6 hours, and then I like, I go vlog or whatever, and I'm in a better mood or something. Um, I would say about 6 times, but this was a while ago. This is when, like, yeah, this was like, this was like 8 months ago probably.

Yeah. Like, what's the instance? Give me the instance where you thought it.

I don't know. I'm sure I've— I'm sure Carly would know of an instance if I've ever bitched about you.

Back to the shitbaiting real quick. You've told everybody so many times that you guys aren't a thing, so how can people still get upset? I don't know.

When we aren't a thing.

Yeah, like ship baiting or whatever.

Because I think people, like, people just interpret our friendship as like, oh, they must be dating, or they must like— yeah, it's just like because we are close, but that's not our fault.

I know, I know. Here we got another one. Would you, would you ever hook up with a fan?

I don't really— I don't like— I don't know what a fan of me is.

No, I'm just like a fan of the videos, just a fan of the whole system, fan of the whole videos.

Um, probably no, no, I wouldn't.

So someone that comes up to you and goes, I love the videos, you wouldn't hook up with? You know what I mean? Because like, like, I would answer this differently. I'd say yeah, because it's like, it's like, why would— so you're only dating people that don't like your work?

No, it doesn't mean they don't like your work, but like, I've always, I've always found that question so weird.

It's like, how would you— how can you say no to that? Like, I want to date a person that's a fan of mine because I'm not so black and white about it.

I'm not like, oh, this person— just because this person's not a fan doesn't mean they're not a fan of what I do.

Sure. But I mean, I think there's a difference between when you say fan, like somebody who has like all your posters up in their room and has all your clothes, or somebody that just consumes your videos and enjoys—

knows who you are or knows of you or something.

Yeah, I think that's different. I mean, there's definitely— I don't know, I feel like I'd be, I'd be If I was to date anybody, I'd really hope that they like my videos.

I mean, I would hope that they were supportive.

Sure.

Obviously that's not going to work out if they're not.

What's your all-time favorite memory of working here or of any of the videos?

I don't know why I feel like I always blank on like what we do.

Yeah, it's tough.

There's just like, I don't, I don't, I don't even know what day it is, let alone like what we, what video we posted or made like a week ago, you know? Like it's so hard to pinpoint something.

What's your honest, what's your honest opinion of this podcast?

I love the podcast. I think it's fun. I, I genuinely, before, like, when I first started working here and you and Jason were doing the podcast and stuff, and like, I was— I had no part of any sort of like production anything or editing or anything. And, um, you and Jason would go into a room, lock yourselves in the room, and I would just sit in the living room and do my own thing. And so when the podcast would get posted and I would be running errands the next day, like, I would genuinely listen to the podcast.

And like, you would listen to the podcast back home too, right?

No, I didn't listen or watch to anything that you did.

Oh really?

Before I moved here.

Yeah.

Wow.

Unless like somebody brought it to my attention.

Natalie, my best friend, everybody.

I don't know, because she's not a fan.

Yeah. Natalie, would you rather hook up with David or Jeff? This one's easy.

I definitely rather hook up with Jeff.

100%. Yeah. I mean, if you, if you gave me that Well, no, I'd probably choose you just because you're a girl. But, but yeah, that one's easy. Why is it Jeff just came running into the room? Jeff's here.

Make out with me. Kiss me, Jeff.

Jeff, grab a mic. Grab a mic. Taylor. Taylor. Taylor.

Jeff is now on top.

Did somebody say that Natalie wants to hook up with Jeff? No, I gave her the option between me and you, and that one's easy. Oh, okay. Out of everybody. And out of our friends in the world, besides like the celebrities. Actually, no, Todd's still included. I'm out of here. I'm going back to editing. What's the most embarrassing thing that you've done ever in my life?

I pissed my pants 2 weeks ago.

And he pissed his pants.

That's so funny. When you— Zane picked— Zane pissed his pants the other day and I got a phone call I got a phone call at like, I don't know, 6, 7 AM from this guy. Didn't have his number. He's like, yo, is this your buddy? He's on my couch and we think he pissed his pants. And, and he sent me a picture and it was Zane with a fucking straight up, you know, piss pants, like a wet spot on his pants. And I called and I called in like 2 hours when Zane woke up and I had him drop him off here at the house. And Zane was so excited that he pissed his pants, he wanted to upload a picture on Instagram. He wanted to upload a picture onto Instagram of his pants and him, and I was like, Zane, you're going to regret this.

Well, I mean, I mean, I told you why I wanted to post it before somebody else did.

Or somebody else did.

Exactly.

Yeah. But I'm surprised you talk so openly about that piss your pants incident.

Oh, yeah, it's great. I mean, that's why it's fun. You got to be open about shit like that because then nobody can hold it against you ever.

Yeah, you're right. You're right.

Respect. Then Zane also shat in there and then he sharted, but he never told me.

Bring up the time he pooped in my sink.

Did I tell you that that night that we went to that party, that house, the same house that I woke up in, people were coming up to— it was like, dude, it felt like I was in a high school movie.

Let me explain this. We went back to the same house that Zane pissed his pants, like, literally the next night.

It was two nights later.

It was two nights later, just to go to a party. Yeah, yeah.

And it was like a scene in a fucking high school movie. Like, there was people— what, like, I was getting smirks, like, here and there, like, smirks from people that I had never seen in my life. And then one of those kids that were giving me a smirk, he walks up to me and goes, your pants not wet this time, huh? It was crazy.

Wow.

Like, I would have— I would never do that to that per— like, if somebody slept up, falls asleep in my house and with piss in their pants, I would have never said that to them.

So you were like walking around the party and people are whispering to each other like, that's the guy who pissed his pants?

I think so. Even, even Dom's roommates came out to me and they're like, oh my God, like, we saw that picture. It was like, sir, it was like going around. Like, I think people were like sharing it to each other.

Oh my God.

I know, but I already posted it first, so it doesn't matter.

Yeah, I think, I think— I don't think anybody was it. I think you just posted it. I beat everyone to the punch. No, Zay, no one cared until you put it on Instagram. Um, what, Natalie?

Um, if you were able to leave the country, yeah, where would be like the first place that you would want to go? And for the videos, or even like a personal vacation?

I go to Dubai because I feel like there'd be a lot to do for the videos, but for like a personal vacation, I'd love to go to France.

France.

You'll be surprised. You can't do a lot in Dubai. You got like— you can't drink in Dubai.

Why? What is that?

It's, it's, it's illegal to be out drunk. Like, you, you go to jail. Like, Dubai jail.

Amsterdam would be sick.

Yeah, Amsterdam would be fucking nuts.

Even if we like— you know what would be funny is if like we all went to the fucking pyramids in Egypt. Like, that would be so fun.

We're missing out on a lot of things in life right now because of your fucking situation.

So We can get fucking deals too. Like, we can— like, I can be taking the entire friend group out on a trip just from like a deal we have with like a country or like their— they're like their tourism board. But I can't because of my citizenship because President Trump took it away.

Yep.

Why is Natalie so gorgeous? Zane, stop sending in the questions.

Oh, I wasn't— I was just gonna answer it, but okay.

Do tell.

Have your feelings towards Natalie changed? No, not at all. Taylor, this is for both of you. This is for the two assistants, Natalie and Taylor. What is your goal in life, and how long do you see yourself working here with me?

Taylor says YouTuber.

Yeah, that's, that's the scariest when someone works for you and they want to be a YouTuber because their intentions aren't the right, the right. You want to be a YouTuber, Taylor? I didn't even ask.

Yeah, actually, I was just gonna ask. I would never.

What are your greatest tips on being—

Taylor, you gotta hold the mic.

I'm so sorry.

Um, okay, yeah, what— how long do you plan on working here? Um, what are your goals?

Uh, okay, well, I want to say that working here has made me realize that I don't know what the fuck I want to do with my life. Okay, yeah, because I feel like there's just so much opportunity, like you're introduced to so many different avenues of things. Like when I, when I first left college I thought, like, I had an idea of like what I wanted to do and what I— where I wanted to go.

And I wanted to study plants.

No, I didn't want to study plants. I wanted nothing to do with fucking plants. I hate when you say that. It really is another pet peeve of mine.

Oh, what did you— I thought you studied plants in college.

I was an environmental science double major.

Okay, boring. Okay, sorry.

Um, but no, I really wanted to— I wanted to be like a brand manager of a luxury brand, like a Gucci or a Louis or something and like work on their—

like, wow, I could totally see you doing that.

Yeah, me too.

That is so crazy.

That's, that's what I really wanted to do. And now, I mean, I still think that's really cool and I would love to do that because I think fashion is really fun, but I don't know. I don't know if that's my end-all be-all.

So how do you— how long do you see yourself working here?

Well, until the ship sinks, you know.

Sure, a couple months.

No, I mean, I, I love a couple months. Yeah. I love working here and hanging out with everybody, and we get to do really cool stuff that I don't know where else I would have the opportunity to do the things that we do and make the things that we make. But I don't know, until I, until I, until I don't want to anymore, you know?

Right on. Taylor, what about you?

Not to be boring, but I would second that. Like, I think going into this when you're like in it and doing something different every day you realize how many different skills that you're kind of getting better at that like you never would.

What did you expect when you got— when you, when you started working here, and how has it— how has— how is that different?

I didn't know what to expect, but I knew I had a good feeling that like I was going in the right direction of like what I was good at meeting what I was going to be doing every day. Like, I think I've always— the amount of diverse and just crazy different things that you and me both do, and I mean that you come up with. So I, I think that it takes like a certain person to be able to fully be able to like wrap your head around how to do it.

When you— okay, let me ask my question. When you, when you took this job, Taylor, did you think it was going to be like— did you think it was going to be a job like, hey, I'm going to do this job for like a couple of months and then I'm going to find something else? Or were you like, hey, let's see how long I can stick with this job for? This isn't a trick question. I'm just genuinely—

yeah.

And then tell me now what you think about it.

When I like commit to something, it's always like full force. Like, I'm never— I like, like to be in the present, so I would never like commit to something if I didn't see it long term. And I would never just be like, like, I could never commit to something and then just be like, oh, in 3 months, like, I'll just like keep applying and like see if something's better. Like, I would— like, once I'm in, like, invested, sure, I'm fully invested.

Makes sense. How did you have any other jobs before this?

Yes.

How many jobs?

I would say like 3.

3. Where would this rank?

Top number 1.

Oh my God.

Last number 1.

Oh my God. I fucking hate this place.

But I did just graduate, so it wasn't like, right?

I'm like, you're a 30-year-old person that has worked a bunch of stuff.

Sure.

What I thought was interesting when we first hired Taylor, when I first met Taylor, because the way that we found Taylor was she helped put on your surprise birthday party. I needed extra help. And a friend recommended her that she had just graduated and she was looking for work and things like that. And I was like, okay, great, like, I need help, just whoever you think is trustworthy, like, send her my way. Um, and she helped me get everything done for your birthday, which was awesome. And then we— I was like, okay, let me see, because we needed a new assistant, let me see like how things are gonna go. Um, let's have her like be around the house for the next couple weeks and like, and working, just, you know, trying it out. And I knew she— that you had another job offer, and I was like, oh, she's for sure gonna take that job offer. Like, I didn't even think about it. And then I remember talking to you and you're like on the fence about it and you didn't know what to do, and you were like, I think I'm just gonna—

just—

I'm just gonna— I'm gonna say no. And I was like, whoa, like, she's gonna say no? And then you ended up sticking around. I just— I don't know, I think it's like interesting because it's hard to see like where this is going because it's so chaotic.

No, that makes sense.

Even when you offer— when David offered me the job originally, I was, I was like very— I had no other options really, so I was like, okay, let's do it. But had I had other options, I don't think I would have signed up for this. Like, I don't— I wouldn't have taken a job working for you.

Not always. Not always. Like, it was either join the military or work for David.

So like, no, that's what I mean by like the diversity.

I know what we're dragging this on, but I think that we're talking too much for David.

Like, I told you this when I first— that one day that like I was like, I'm gonna say no. Yeah, I love not knowing or having the opportunity to do so many different things.

Kiss David's House podcast.

And this isn't David, this is a team.

I know, I know, I know, I know.

Curated.

But sitting in an office every day is just not for me.

Period.

If I was— if you were to— what, what Avenger would you compare me to out of, out of all the Avengers? So there's the Hulk, there's Bruce Banner, there's Captain America, there's Iron Man, of course.

Iron Man.

You would say Iron Man, Taylor?

Yeah.

Thank you.

The dust when everybody disintegrated.

Oh my gosh, you are the dust that's left.

If you could choose anyone in the vlog squad to take your position for a day, like you have to switch roles with them, who would you choose?

So Zane perked right up. He's like, pick me, pick me.

Like on a posting day, like you're posting but like you still need a little bit of content.

Like if I'm sick in bed and I was like, I was like, someone needs to go out and vlog for me.

That's a good question.

Sure.

Yeah, I mean, it's easy because it's Jason, right? Oh yeah, like that one's just like, that's like terrible at filming. If I couldn't choose Jason—

everybody, we all film so differently though.

I choose Zane and Heath together. Let me drive back. All right guys, all right guys, that's all the time we have for today's podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you to all the guests: Carly, Zane, Jeff, Joe, Taylor, and especially Natalie, my, my favorite assistant in the world. Thank you so much. Sorry, Taylor. You have to work your way up. My favorite friend. There she is, pissed off and calling her assistant. We'll see you guys later. My name is Jeff. Bye.