Bullied in High School

What's up guys, welcome back to Views. My name is David Dobrik and joined by my assistant Jason Nash.

Hey man, come on man, I'm not your assistant. I mean, I do help out a lot. You know what, dude?

You sound like you're like a teenager getting mad.

You know what? Whatever, I'm going to my room. Whatever, David.

Well, we're starting this podcast.

I hate you, David.

With some annoying sounds by Jason. Jason, can you let me finish? Thank you. Today we're starting the podcast off with some good news. ZipRecruiter is back, apparently.

I love it.

They loved our first brand deal. They were like, that was incredible. We've never heard—

I have a feeling they didn't even hear it.

Yeah, they didn't listen to it.

But it was really good, ZipRecruiter. You should listen to it.

But they're back.

It was a 4-minute ad, even though you asked us only to do 60 seconds.

And we got paid for like about 20 seconds, which it felt like.

I got paid for 3 seconds.

So today we're gonna be reading you another ZipRecruiter ad, so just tune in, sit back, relax, and enjoy.

Boy.

With ZipRecruiter, you can post your job to 100+ job sites with just one click. Then their powerful technology efficiency matches the right people to your job better than anyone else.

That's why ZipRecruiter is different. Unlike other job sites, ZipRecruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you. It finds them, David.

Wow.

Yeah. In fact, over 80% of jobs posted on ZipRecruiter gets a qualified candidate in just 24 hours.

Before we continue, I just want to let everybody know the wow was completely impromptu. It wasn't even on the script. I've, I've just had a lot of experience with improv.

You just nailed it so well. It was well-timed. I mean, how did you come up with that?

Wow. Thank you. Um, no juggling emails or calls to your office, to your office. Simply screen, rate, and manage candidates all in one place with ZipRecruiter's easy-to-use dashboard.

Yeah, that's right. Find out today why ZipRecruiter has been used by businesses of all sizes to find the most qualified job candidates with immediate results.

Wow. And right now my listeners can post jobs on ZipRecruiter for free. That's right. Free. Just go to ZipRecruiter.com/Nash.

Oh wow, they used my name again.

Once again, it's not /Dobrik, which a lot of you guys probably think it is. It's /Nash. That's ZipRecruiter.com/Nash. David— one more time to try to get— to try for free, go to ZipRecruiter.com/Nash.

Yeah, ZipRecruiter.com/Dobrik will not work.

And I saw that a lot of you guys tried using that last time, and I appreciate it. But please, my ego is already hurt. It does not work. Do not try. But yeah, that's it. That's, that's another ZipRecruiter ad.

I mean, I might use this. I might try to find another intern. Or David might try to find another 40-year-old failed actor.

I roll the intro. Did you guys hear that intro? That was freaking phenomenal. That's from our friend Bruce Wiegner. He said his last name is pronounced like wiener, but with a G. He's a producer. He can help you out with any music stuff if you guys, if you guys need it. His Twitter and Instagram are Bruce Wiegner. Bruce spelled like, you know, Bruce from Batman and Wiegner, W-I-E-G-N-E-R. People at home are like, oh, from Batman.

Yeah, yeah, we got it now.

I actually have a topic that I want to start this off with.

Go, man, go.

This is like a thing I was thinking about when I was younger, so it could be completely wrong, but you're older and you're more wise and you're just such a fucking—

Potentially.

Intelligent person.

Yeah, thank you.

I want your opinion on it. Okay, so there was like a— like 2 years ago especially, there was like this huge, like, there was this huge thing with Barbie dolls and how they weren't up to standards with, like, with, you know, real body images and how girls were getting false ideas of how to look and how to feel and and all that kind of stuff. My question is, is that not— I don't— okay, I don't want to sound like a fucking idiot, but is it—

this is becoming a theme on the show, the both of us. Look, guys, every time we are morons, so if we sound like morons, every time we talk, we have to—

we have to start it up by saying, listen, I don't want to sound like an idiot, but Mars is definitely made out of cheese. No, but, um, But just from, I guess, personal experience, if I'm a kid and I don't play with Barbies, I didn't play with— I mean, maybe I did, I don't know. But if I'm playing with little cars, right, like toy cars, I'd rather play with a Ferrari than a Toyota Corolla.

Yeah. Right? Yeah.

So maybe— and okay, now people are probably—

I'm glad you qualified this because you've already put yourself in a big hole.

Now I understand that people are gonna be like, which is I just realized as I was saying it, people are probably gonna be like, What makes Skinny the Ferrari? Why isn't Skinny the Toyota Corolla? Right, right. Which I just realized as I was saying it that I fucked up, so I apologize. Let's not talk about this.

So no, no, we learned something here today. Look, David's 20 years old, I'm 44 and pretty much have failed at everything I've tried to do in life, so you know, David just learned something here.

That was great.

Right? It took me probably—

I think, right? I think that's the end of the conversation.

You just nailed it. You just Pose the topic and solve the problem.

That's incredible.

You're amazing.

If I had to deal with world problems on a constant basis, we wouldn't be in the situations we are today.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, Barbie dolls, my kids, they don't even play with Barbie dolls.

I'm just at a big meeting, like a world conference, and I'm like, you know what, I don't think ISIS is a problem. Wait, ISIS is a problem. Everyone just starts clapping. That's it. They are a problem.

Man, if you're ever at a world conference, I will fucking love it. I would love to see you at a world conference. You should go back to Czechoslovakia.

I bet you'd be a big deal there. It's not called Czechoslovakia.

Wherever you're from.

It's just called Slovakia now.

What happened?

It hurts us Slovaks when you talk about the split between the Czech Republic and Slovakia.

Take me back, 'cause I wanna know this, 'cause I know you and you're a good friend. Take me back? Yeah, tell me the history of Slovakia and all that.

I have no idea.

Yeah, you do. You must know. No. Your parents must talk about it all the time.

I'm such an American little twerp. I don't know anything about Slovakia. I barely— I'm like one of those kids that like my parents would try to make me speak the language for as long as I could.

Yeah.

And I just like threw it out the window. I was like, man, I can't.

Speak some right now. Say something in Slovakian.

No, I hate that. I hate that.

Why?

I don't know.

It's part of you, David. Don't hide from who you are.

Liza always asks me to speak in Slovak.

Yeah.

And I just feel dirty. Like, I feel like it's like the dirtiest thing. I don't know what it is.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, you've got to sort that out. It's your heritage, bro.

I know, I know. I just feel like, I don't know. I'm not good at— I think the reason is because I'm not good at it. And like, I know when my parents would talk in English, I would always give them shit because I'd be like, "That's not how you pronounce it," or whatever. And I feel like that's the same way when I speak a different language. Does that make sense? Like, I think I'm scared to talk because I don't want to be embarrassed about how bad I am at the language. My favorite part is—

You don't have to be embarrassed in front of me. I have no idea.

My favorite part is like, Sometimes I do speak in Slovak, because people are like, David, come on, say something in Slovak. And I'm like, fine, fine. And they're like, tell me, say, go to the river and eat some poo. And I say something like, how are you? I'm good. And they're like, wow, that's incredible. I just make up the first sentence I can think about. And that's how I deal with my heritage.

Oh, man. I mean, I think it's cool that you know another language. You should embrace it.

I know Hungarian too.

People will just love you more.

I know Hungarian too, but I don't speak it just because I'm— I can understand it because my mom's from Hungary and my dad's— I don't even actually know where my mom's from. No, she's from Slovakia.

Man, you're like a movie from the '80s.

What do you mean?

You know, where like the immigrants move here and the parents are like, you know, you're not allowed to dance. There is no dancing in our culture. And you're like, Mom, I'm going to dance all night long. And it turns into like Footloose. It's like some—

they want me to be a doctor, but I want to be in the musical. Yeah, exactly, that type of stuff.

Did you dance in high school? You're a dancer?

I was an— I'm an awful dancer. You are?

What would you do at school dances?

What would I do? I never went to school dances.

You're such a lone wolf.

I was—

I didn't go to dances.

I went to one, and that was where the girl asked the boy, and my neighbor asked me because she just didn't have anyone to go. It was literally like a complete last option. We went as friends. And we didn't even dance. I sat, I think, in the cafeteria. And then, like, a couple of my friends came up to me and they're like, dude, you're, uh, dude, Johnny's dancing with your girl. I'm like, dude, she's not my girl.

She just happened to live close by.

Yeah, she lived close by and it was like a really weird— she's interior decorating my place right now.

Oh, it was Natalie.

Yeah, she's just like my really good friend.

Damn, scored Natalie.

I scored.

Nice.

Yeah, that was incredible.

Nice, dude.

No, but I hated school dances. I was just never, which is weird because like right now it sounds like I hate fun. But like I was the, I was one of the like the 3, 4 leaders of my student section for like the cheering section of our school. So when we go out to football games, I was like—

So you were a male cheerleader?

No, I was like— Hmm, sounds like it. Okay, fine, I was.

Did you have pom-poms? Well, yeah, of course.

No, I was like the guy that would dress up in blue. I'd look manly, okay? No, I would be like the guy who would like, you know, paint his face like a different color and like, you know, wear tights and stuff. Like, I mean, I mean, wear jeans, painted your face, you know, you know how like I was— I don't even know. I don't even know.

Just tell me exactly what you were. What was the title?

Literally, like, if you go to, if you go to, you, like, U of I, if you go to any college and you see like there's like 5 douchebags like heading the crowd like at the bottom and they're like painted and they're like, yeah, okay, so they're like, definitely don't play any sports. Of course, but they're like really into them.

You got the crowd up.

We tried, yeah, yeah. I actually, there was once I put, I, because we, we can, we had like a little say in the morning announcements, and I put, I put hashtag turn up in the announcements.

Oh yeah, I love this story.

And the teacher, I got called into the office that same day, and the teacher called because there was 5 of us that did it. She called all of our parents And she said, your kids were trying to get all the students from our high school to come to the football game drunk and high. And our parents were like, what the fuck is going on?

Right.

Because they were just like, are they serious?

Yeah.

My high school was such— it was just a small suburb, so they had no problems other than like—

Got to create some problems.

Yeah, me putting Turn Up in the announcements. One time— can I tell one more story?

Yeah, I got a bill about 45 minutes here, Fred.

One time, this is just what kind of school I was in. I love my high school. I think the high school was some of my best years of my life, and I would go back to them if I could, which is really strange. And everyone looks at me like, like you're looking at me right now like I'm a complete idiot. Yeah, but it was, I just, I loved everything about high school. One of the things that happened is I had like a little I had like a piece of notebook paper and homecoming was coming up and on the piece of notebook paper I wrote homecoming question mark and I was on the school bus and my friend was driving like right by our school bus and we pulled up to a red light and I stuck the piece of paper out the window and I held it up to him and it said homecoming question mark. Like it was just a quick joke, like it wasn't, no one was even watching, it was just a joke to him. And the bus driver saw that, just stomps on the brakes, pulls the bus over and she's like, were you throwing stuff out my bus? And I'm like, no, I wasn't, I was just holding this hold this note up, and I'm like, uh-uh, that's not what's happening. She calls the police.

No.

No one's getting home. The police come, they pull me off the bus, they speak to me. I have to walk home, and two of my friends also come with me because they didn't want me to walk home by myself.

They make you walk home for holding up a sign?

Because they thought I was throwing stuff out the window.

Did you explain to them you were—

Yes, yes.

Yeah, we had stuff like that too.

And then for the rest of the semester, I had assigned seating on the bus where I had to sit right by the bus driver. Front row. And I mean, my bus got lit, so I was messing— I was missing out on a lot from what was going on in the back.

How old were you?

I was like 16, 17.

How come you weren't driving at this point?

Because I loved the bus. Like, my friends would offer me rides, but there was something so cool about the bus.

That's so you. That so fits into what you do now, where you're like, you'll just go to UCLA just to walk around and like look at people, not drink. Not even film. You're such a, like, uh, I love denial sociologist. You love denial.

Yeah, I love going to—

but why would you want to go back on the bus now that you had to sit with the bus driver?

You still loved it because it was just like I could still see what's going on in the back and it was just like fun. Like, our bus was just like— our bus was insane.

I just pictured this awesome party at the back of the bus and you're at the front like, what's up guys, what's going back, what's going on back there?

I'm just FaceTiming my friend who's in the back of the bus. No, no, no, but like, yeah, I mean, I guess, I guess that was kind of strange, but that's why I loved high school. I loved it for like all of its like little quirks and weird things, and I would just— I felt like I had it by the balls, and it was like the one place I felt like in total control was in high school, and I think that's why I liked it. You know what I mean?

Yeah, I was the opposite. I just failed at everything, and you didn't have fun in high school? Not really. I didn't like my friends that much.

Was it because they didn't like you?

Kind of, yeah.

You told me that you used to be the one that always got made fun of in your friend group, right?

I was like friends with like the really popular kids.

Things don't change.

Yeah, I was friends with the really, really popular kids, which were like, they were just assholes and they were just dudes.

But like in like a friendly way, like you'd laugh along with them, but you wouldn't know that you were getting bullied.

Yeah, exactly.

Like it was that kind of stuff.

Exactly.

Like I remember What was their nickname for you?

Wedge.

Which is what?

Jew backwards.

Yeah, those weren't your friends.

I know. Yeah, I was in like a weird situation. Yeah, it's kind of like now.

My best friends had nicknames for me too.

They call me Dirty Jew. Yeah, I was the only Jewish kid in the school.

Shut up.

Yeah, only Jewish kid.

Did you get shit for that?

All the time. You walk down the hallway, someone just throw a penny on the ground and everyone would laugh.

That used to happen at my school too. But that's not shit. That's unless you're like a sensitive, like, asshole about it. Like, it's kind of— it's literally just like—

I get it. I get it. I mean, I was able to take it fine. It built character. But I know when I tell like some people that story, they're like, that's awful.

Yes, I know. But I know in my school that shit happened all the time. And it wasn't a problem at all. Like whether you were Black, Latino, Jewish, Catholic, completely white, you would get shit equally.

Oh, so it hasn't changed at all in 20 years? Like, so people still do that?

No one was safe. Yes, of course.

Really?

Now it's changing. Now, at least from the internet, the internet is one of the most sensitive places on earth. So I don't know if that's changing in schools too. But like, I know where I grew up, it was, I mean, you can say whatever.

No, Brandon told me the same thing. Brandon, We were about the same age as Brandon, and he said in his school— Oh yeah. In California, that it was the same.

No, no, it was—

So it's still brutal?

No, I mean, like, I know teachers that would make "you dirty Jew" jokes, like, because it's just— What? It's not bad. They're just words. And like, I think maybe that's how we were raised, where like, they're not—

You had a teacher that told a Jew joke?

We had really cool teachers.

Really?

Yeah, I mean, you could tell. I love my teachers.

Yeah, you had some cool ones. We went back to David's school this year.

None of those teachers would say stuff like that. But we had really laid-back teachers where they would— I mean, I told you a story where a teacher once let me go get Wendy's during the class period because he was annoyed at me.

Because he was frustrated with you.

He was frustrated. He was like, get out of my room. And I'm like, can I leave the school? And he's like, I don't care, just please leave the room. And I got in my car and I drove away. And I came back and I brought him a sandwich and we were all good the next day.

Got some Wendy's, shot an outro. I wish you were doing the vlog in high school.

Oh my God. —It would have been fun. —You would have been suspended. My teacher caught me cheating once and he told me if I don't bother him for the rest of the semester, which we had like 2 weeks left because I cheated on like one of the final exams. Yeah, he's like, I'll just give you an A in the class. And it happened. It's like it was just such a laid-back like environment that I think made it so easy to just to be comfortable in it. And like we weren't like, I don't know, it was, it was literally the perfect school. And I talk about it like I went to school like in Mount Olympus, but it was literally fucking perfect.

Yeah, well, you like to be in control and now, you know, everything's much harder.

Now you're like, now you're, you know, a small fish in a big pond. But like back in high school, you can wiggle your way to the top of, you know, any little—

Well, I'm sure, and you're the type of person too that was friends with everybody. I mean, yeah, I try to be. So, and that was probably nice and y'all shared that thing, no pressure. Yeah, I remember being just— everyone I was friends with was like Good Will Hunting. You start crying? No, they were just Boston assholes. Were they like meatheads? You know what a meathead is? Oh, fuck.

Yeah, we didn't have those. Oh, we had meatheads.

They used to take their jeans and they would cuff the bottom and then roll them up, so everyone had these like rolled-up pants, cuffed rolled-up pants, this weird look.

Give me something more, because that doesn't sound that bad. We definitely had that.

Oh, just like drinking and drinking and like Like no creativity going on. And if I was like, I wanna move to California, they'd be like, "Hahaha, yeah, fucking right. No fucking way, dude." And people work for the town, and then like I work for the town. So every summer I'd be like digging graves, working with these people, and they'd be like, "Yeah, when you get outta college, you know, you're gonna have a job here. Don't worry about it." I'm like, "I'm not fucking coming back here." What a suitable job for you, digging graves. Oh yeah, I dug graves. I used to work at a mental institution in town. There was a mental hospital in town.

You thought you worked there. Yeah, no, I used to work at one. How'd they pay you, Jason? A meal every day.

They used to lock me in to the jail cell yard and have to cut the grass, and he would just scream at me.

Wait, you worked at a mental institution?

Yeah, I was a groundskeeper. Shut up.

Yeah, it was fucking crazy.

You worked every job on the planet. Yeah, someone tried to stab me once. In the mental institution?

With a fork, yeah. Why?

Just because I was there. All kinds of shit. We hate your vlogs. Used to be a guy that— they used to be a guy that would, um, walk in a circle for like an hour and a half singing The Doors with a Walkman on. Are you serious?

Yeah.

Have you ever heard LA Woman by The Doors? Sure you haven't. But were there like—

was this like out of a movie crazy?

Yeah, it was out of like a Farrelly Brothers movie, like, like that. Like, like, you ever see like Something About Mary? Or like Dumb and Dumber. You've never seen any of these movies, it's fine. But anyways, it was like out of a— yeah, it was—

you mean like Star Wars?

Just a comedic movie, you know, just the guy would just walk in a circle every morning for an hour singing LA Woman. He'd talk like this, he'd be like—

it wouldn't be like— it wouldn't be like that Leo DiCaprio movie Shutter Island?

No, it wasn't like Shutter Island.

It wasn't like you were like fearful, but it was like these people are kind of like just lost and it's kind of funny.

Yeah, there was one person, one woman, every day she'd go, she'd go, "You're my son.

You're my son." Okay, but nothing like terrifying?

No, when they'd lock you in the jail, in the jail yard, that was terrifying.

I just said, I just said something about how it was just funny. Guys, I didn't mean to say that.

Oh God, can we stop apologizing for everything we fucking say? I'm so sick of your generation. I made it sound—

I have to. No, you don't.

You don't. You're a comedian, David. You're not a fucking guy that sits on YouTube and is like, "What's up guys? Today we're gonna learn how to build fidget spinners." You're a comedian, you have a comedic point of view, and stop apologizing for everything you do. You and Zane, you sit—

There's a lot of people out there that get offended.

There's a lot of talk in this house recently in the last week. David and I went to Miami and we had a really good time, which I need to touch upon something else, remind me later, but I'll touch upon this first. We had a really good time. We went, we landed at like 5:00 a.m., we went and got our room, and there was someone in our room, which was hilarious, and then we had to go get a second room, and that room didn't work out.

There was a guy in our room, like I opened the door. And I was filming.

Go watch my vlog this week, you can see the whole thing because I happened to be filming at that moment.

Jason was filming, and then I heard the sheets ruffling all of a all of a sudden, and this guy gets out of bed and he's like, what are you doing here? And I'm like, I'm a YouTuber. And he's like, cool, I'm a volleyball player.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. If this was me and I opened the door and I heard someone there, this is what I would do. Oh God, I'm so sorry. And I would shut the door. David just stops, has no problem having a full conversation with this guy at like 6, 5:30 in the morning in the dark. And you just hear the guy just going like— David's like, "Oh, I'm sorry." And the guy goes, "Hey, hey, hold on, hold on a second.

What are you guys doing here?" Yeah, no, like in like a nice way, like he wanted me to stay.

Yeah, he wanted you to stay. And he goes, "What do you guys do?" And David goes, "Uh, we're YouTubers." And then David goes, "What do you do?" And he goes, "Uh, I play volley— I'm a volleyball player. I'm here. You here for the iHeart thing?" And David's like, "Yeah." Yeah. Anyways. Sorry, but it was just so random.

Yeah, no, that was great. That was one of my favorites.

Anyways, then we go to a second room and the bed's no good. I'm sleeping on a couch. I can't sleep on the couch because I have a bad back. David and I have this really long discussion, blah blah blah blah blah. We go out, we finally get upstairs, we go up to get our third room, and there's this crazy drunk guy in the elevator who's like— David sees him and David's just like— David's really good at spotting something great like right away. And before you know it, you hear the camera click.

It's like, you hear me hit record? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm like, oh great, yeah, this is great. So I'm glad he's recording. And the guy's like, guys like, yo, go get some bitches. He's Latin descent, something.

He's definitely Latin, from like the South Side of Chicago. South Side of Chicago. He's just like, literally just like the fun, like, drunk that you would just love to be around. Like, he's just like the ideal drunk dude.

Wants to go out and get bitches, wants to get laid, and wants to take David and I with us and pay for all—

he talked about was pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy. Yeah.

And so David invites him back to our room, and he's just trying his hardest to get David and I to go to the club. In that moment, he says the N-word, and he says it in a way which is like, hey, like, yo, my N-words, like, let's go party. That's how he said it.

He said it in a friendly way.

And he says to David— If there is a friendly way. Is it okay if I say that? And David says, yeah, say whatever you want. Like, I don't control you. This is my vlog. You can say whatever you want on my vlog.

I said it in a way where not like, go ahead, say the N-word. I said in a way where this isn't a filtered vlog, like you can say whatever you want, because he was scared that he can't say that on camera or anything. And I'm like, I don't think it matters. I put everything in because my vlogs are just that close to reality. Yeah, yeah.

And so David cuts it together, he shows it to a bunch of people including me, and I watch it and I'm like, this is hilarious. Like This is awesome, this is exactly how it happened. So awesome that we're capturing, David captured this thing that happened that was so funny in person. He posts it, vlog does really well, and then all the comments come in 'cause this guy used the N-word and isn't African American. Yeah.

Is that how it happened? Basically, yeah, I mean, I guess you can't really add anything to that.

So now David obsesses for the next 5, 6 hours, let's say he posts at 3, by 9 o'clock he's still writing an apology for people. I don't know if he posted it, wondering what he should do.

I didn't, everyone around me, I even called some of my African American friends. Everyone that I talked to, I talked to like 4 black dudes, and when I showed them the video, they were like, I didn't tell them what it was about, and I let it, I just let the video play over it, and the video finished, and they were like, what part was it? And I had to go back, and they're like, are you kidding me? And then they're like, you can't apologize for something like that, because you are gonna fuck up. Like, there's gonna be times where you're gonna say something that's gonna literally actually offend people and like save your apologies for the times that you have to apologize. And that's why I didn't send the apology out, 'cause they're right. I mean, it wasn't, I even wanna defend the guy for saying the N-word because we don't know where he grew up. We don't know how that's like a normal part of his life. I don't know if he, for all we know, he could have black parents. Like we don't know that. It's just, I didn't even think about it because just talking to the guy and how casually he said that word, I didn't think much of it. And that's why when I, people even accused me, they're like, David did it to piss people off. Not at all. None of the people I showed it to, not even me when I was editing it, for a second thought that it was bad.

Yeah, you don't do things to piss people off. No, like there was— You don't do that at all.

There wasn't even a second where I was like, maybe I shouldn't put this in. Because I just thought this is just a minority. Who's using the N-word. And I mean, if it was a white guy, I wouldn't have put it in, you know, not for a second. But like, it just, just how comfortably he used it, it just didn't really, didn't really seem to me like it was that big of a problem. But I don't know.

I have Korean friends who use the N-word all the time.

Yeah, me too. I mean, that's why.

And I don't know, I literally didn't know. I was like, oh, I guess it's fine. He's a minority. I think it's fine. But But it's just so hard to manage. Just please, everybody, just calm down in the comments.

When I screw up like this, when I have like these little mess-ups or hiccups or whatever, people always tell me, they're like, they always do this whole thing to me, which makes sense to me. They're like, imagine if South Park or Family Guy had comments. Like, every day it would be a shitstorm because they're always, you know, they're just comedians. They're making jokes. Some jokes work and some jokes work. Some jokes don't. I'm also not trying to be like Kathy Griffin here and be like, that Donald Trump thing was okay. 'Cause you can be, in my opinion, you can be far out there if it's, intelligent maybe isn't the right word, but if it's used in a smart way and you're not being edgy just to be edgy. Do you know what I mean? Like him saying that word was funny, and it wasn't funny just because like, you know, he was pushing the boundaries, because he wasn't. It was funny because it had something to it, because it added to his character and added to the depth of the clip. Yeah. And like, that's why like Kathy Griffin's thing where she had like Trump's head on a stick or whatever and was decapitated, like if there was some intelligent way that she went about that other than just going for complete shock, then I would have understood it, but I don't because—

Yeah, she was off on that. She apologized. It was just a little bit off, but like But Matt and Trey don't apologize. The guys that create— the creators of South Park. I don't think I've ever seen them apologize for anything.

Yeah, I know, but like— So you shouldn't either. Yeah, but I do have— the thing about it, which is the problem, is I have a young impressionable audience, and I think that's why people are like mostly concerned, because they're like, who do you think's watching South Park? You're right, but like I think there's like a more personal thing to YouTube. I think I see both sides of the story. I completely see what you're saying, about the— like, you're a comedian, you shouldn't have to apologize for something so insignificant. And then I completely understand the side where people are like, that— you shouldn't have put that in, that was— you could have edited that out. And I get it, I could have edited it out, and I'm sorry for not doing that, but it's just— that's how the cookie crumbles.

Yeah, but it just captured his character so well that he—

that that was the way he spoke. It— yeah, I mean, I—

look, I hate to get too in-depth, but like, if you were watching The Wire The Wire, which is like a really great— probably one of the best dramas of all time. It was on HBO. It was about like people in Baltimore who sold drugs. And like, if there was a character that used the N-word, like, I don't know. I hate to compare your vlog to The Wire. Sorry for everybody out there, but I just like it. I just like it the way you did it. Like, I just want— that's what I want to see. Here's the other thing that's really messed up. So we went to Miami, and like, we got there on Saturday morning. David flew us first, which was amazing. Thank you, David. No problem. But sort of at the expense of like a weird flight, which is we got on there at 9:30, we landed at 5:30.

Awful flight time, I agree, but it was very convenient.

It was convenient, it was great. Bit of a zombie while I'm there. And then like we flew back Sunday morning and my mother was like— people were like, did you have fun? And I was like, yeah, yeah, it was, it was okay. And then I went and I edited my vlog footage together on Monday and And I'm watching all the stuff with David, you know, the guy in the hotel room, and I'm laughing. I'm dying laughing at all this footage. I think it's so funny. But like, I wasn't there. I wasn't in the moment at all. Like, I wasn't enjoying it as it was happening.

Like, you didn't have fun?

Like, I don't think I was enjoying Miami.

I feel like that all the time, but I have absolutely no problem with it. You don't? No, because I think the best thing where I seriously get enjoyment is where I come back and I realize I had a good time and you can tell on the videos.

Wow, you're blowing my mind right now.

Because that's not how most of the world lives though. I know, but this is my job. This is my job. So like when I get like the right— like I am the happiest when I get the best footage. There's nothing, there's nothing that changes that. Yeah, I know that about you. I was in, I was in Miami We were in Miami, and I was in a good mood when we got there because I got that bit in the car, and I got that bit with the guy. The joint bit. I got the joint bit.

We were driving along to— we were driving to Miami. On the highway. David's not so excited. Neither of us are that excited. We have to go to Miami on Friday at 9:30, and then all of a sudden David sees these two kids who must have been 18, 19, smoking the big-ass joint. Two white kids. Did not look hard at all. They were just innocent kids. Two white kids having fun. Yeah, yeah. And then David's like, "Hey!" We're doing like 30 miles an hour at this point, 20?

Yeah, it was like, it was kind of like traffic-y, so 30, 40.

He goes, "Hey, can my friend have a hit of that?" And the friend being me, his dad sitting in the passenger, and they go, they're like, really, they don't want to give it to David.

Yeah, the girl goes, They're not gonna give it back. I'm like, what?

Don't do it. Yeah, the driver goes, don't do it, they're not gonna give it back, they're not gonna give it back. Remember last time? We've been through this before, you know what happens when we pass joints on the highway.

I thought that was so strange, but then they ended up giving it to us.

It'd be so funny if you took off.

I should have just driven off. Oh my God.

No, no, it was much better because—

no, yeah, it was like a lot more friendlier.

David gets He lights the joint, passes it to me, I take a hit, David takes it back, passes it back to them, they're like, "Yeah, dude!" And then I'm like, "Haha, that was a great bit." He recorded the whole thing, and I was like, "Oh, that's cool, that'll make David's vlog maybe, that'll be awesome." And then Jason just sinks into the seat, like out of a movie, like in Get Out when he gets hypnotized and he's like inside his mind and he's looking out his eye holes.

That's what happened to Jason. Jason.

It was like the kind of weed where it was like really heavy, just took your whole body. Like, I felt like the seat was— something was pulling me into David's Tesla seat. And I was like, David, Jason was just gone. I'm really stoned.

And that, and like, that made me happy. It did. That made me happy. Oh, let's talk about this. What really made me happy. What? Today we pulled a prank on— oh, on my friend Seth. Oh, that's great.

Yeah, yeah. And now you can talk about it.

It's probably the best prank I've ever, I've ever pulled on anyone, in my opinion. It was, we have this scary mask that we've been pranking people with, and it's just a scary mask, and everyone knows that, that it, that it's, it's a mask. And I told him, I told Seth, hey man, I want to do this bit, it's like a dream sequence where you, where you make out with the mask guy, and it just looks like you're dreaming and you're making out with an old man, because the mask makes you look like an old old man. And I'm like, Corinna's gonna be in it. And Corinna's a girl in my vlogs. And he's like— and he's— he thinks Corinna's really attractive.

So Corinna's kind of like the hot girl in David's vlogs.

Yeah. So, so he's like— so he's like, yeah, yeah, I'm totally down. And I'm like, yeah, Seth, just don't hold back. You can make out as much as you want, have as much tongue as you want, just keep kissing her. And— but what, what Seth didn't know is that I replaced Corinna with Jason. So Jason was under the mask. And everyone's— everyone, everyone in the room's like, this isn't gonna work. Everyone doubted you.

Yeah, yeah, everyone.

Brandon, Corinna, like, this isn't gonna work, this is stupid because of the size difference.

So the size is about 6 feet, Corinna's about 5'6".

And then the bit starts going, and Seth is there sitting on the couch. Jason walks in as Corinna. He's not speaking, obviously. Sits next to her. Seth leans in, and as he's leaning in, I'm like, fuck yeah, I got it. It's game over. It's in the bag.

I sit down, I put my hand I put my hand on Seth's knee and I put my hand behind his back and start rubbing his back and squeezing his knee.

And then he just leans in and just goes at it.

I slip him the tongue first.

Like, with tongue, they start making out. And at this point, we're like 5 seconds in and I'm like, this is it. This is what I wanted. I got what I wanted. I'm out. Like, we can end this. And I'm like, Seth, Seth, like, I'm ready to talk. He's coming now.

You could tell his tongue is— Did he grab my ass? He grabbed your ass. He grabs Jason's ass because he thinks it's Corinna. At this point, the poor dude probably has a boner, and he's really making out with Jason. And I'm like, Seth, Seth, Seth, and I'm trying to get him to stop, but he thinks it's part of the bit. And he keeps going for 25 seconds. Literally, I'm not over-exaggerating, it's in the vlog. 25 seconds making out with this guy, and I'm like, I literally, I think I looked up to the ceiling and I'm like, God, what did I do to deserve such beauty?

And I'm sitting there going, David, call it, please, please just call it, David, bring Corinna in. It's going on and on, and it is so aggressive, like they're making out like super aggressive.

And then I call Corinna into the room, and Corinna's standing right next to me, and then, and then I'm like, Seth, Seth, and then Seth finally lets up after 25 seconds of making out with Jason, and he sees Corinna, and he just fucking loses it. Yeah, it was great.

It was my favorite thing. You can't fake that, you know? It wouldn't be something you could ever fake.

It was so perfect, and I feel so bad, and it's just— it's awful because poor guy had to go through that, and his friends are probably gonna chew him out for that for the next, like, 3, 5 years of his life.

Well, as Seth tells it, the homosexuality is not so accepted in his— where he comes from.

That's from Compton.

Dudes kissing dudes is not so accepted. That's from Compton.

So it's like the perfect—

at least straight dudes kissing— literally the perfect setup.

Like, a guy from Compton, and I made him make out with another older man. It's good for Seth.

It gets him— it gets him some airtime. And Seth was really— gets him initiated into the vlog.

He was as angry as he could have been, but he really couldn't because he was just like, okay, you got me. He handled it really well.

He was, he gave it up. He was like, I don't know what to say. That was great.

100%. That had to be one of my favorite pranks. It just, it was, it just worked.

I've, when you had, you told me Jack's hand was cut open because Heath was throwing dishes at, when I found out, I was like, shit, that was good. You got me.

Yeah. No, I love the making out pranks.

You gotta give it up when you give it up. No, it was great.

But, But yeah, that's all the time we have for today, guys.

Yeah, I mean, look, we gotta go get our vlogs up. No, we— I would do this 2, 3 times a week.

I think we should do more. If you guys want to see more podcasts, let me know. If you guys also want to see, hear guests on the show, and if you guys also want to see these podcasts, so if you want to see it in video form, let us know. But if you want to have guests on the show, then let me know. And then we'll start getting guests on the show.

Yeah, let us know what you want to do.

We can try a guest one week, and if it doesn't work, we'll just move on. Yeah, we've got to get a different setup. No, but we should start doing guests. But yeah, let us know. Definitely tweet us about what you thought about the podcast. Let us know how much you hate us. Let us know how much Jason deserves in percentages. Check out my vlog.

Check out my YouTube channel.

Check out all of Jason's things. Feed my kids.

Watch my ads. Is that too much to say? Is that greedy?

Please come to Jason's house and give him money.

I want to say to the people that do watch my YouTube channel, thank you so much because I get so many messages like, it's really sad, but they're like, I watched a 4-minute ad like 3 times for you.

It's so funny because I don't know how much that helps you. It doesn't? I really don't think it does.

If someone sits through a 4-minute ad?

I don't know, I don't know how it works.

Well, of course it will help.

I think the only difference is if they click it.

Oh, you mean if they click through? Yeah. But most ads don't have a click-through.

But maybe, maybe, maybe I'm completely wrong.

Like a GEICO ad, there's no click-through. Regardless, watch Jason's ads.

He needs to feed his kids.

Yeah, my kids are really— they've been eating a lot lately. So just keep that in mind when you're watching my videos that Wyatt is now almost— he's double the size of Big Nick. He's almost healthy size.

What does that mean? Like he's almost eating enough food to get him by.

Yeah, so just keep my kids fed. That's all I care about. Keep watching David's vlogs. You guilt everyone in.

My kids are gonna die if you don't watch my ads.

No, my kids are doing really good. Their mom's rich, so don't worry about it.

All right, I'll see you guys later. Bye.